Helping Your Children Dream

Sally Ferguson writes about everyday adventures with refreshing perspectives. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she encourages parents to nurture their children's dreams by listening to their hearts and observing their gifts from God.

“When my children were young, I was fascinated by families who were a step ahead of us,” Sally says.

“How did they foster independence and a strong work ethic in their children? How did some go on to become doctors and pastors, when others couldn’t land on a career choice?”

I (Dawn) have seen this evidence of strong parenting too. And I couldn't agree with Sally more about how it influences children's hopes, dreams, and future.

Sally continues . . .

In my own upbringing, I had a strong missions influence. We lived in Grand Cayman for four years while my parents taught in the Christian school and served in various churches on the island. Our home became a landing base for missionaries from all around the globe.

I loved experiencing so many cultures through their stories. Could I also translate that love for God’s work to my own children?

I came to realize a strong work ethic had a lot to do with character formation in the home. Traits like honesty, kindness, and self-control don’t come naturally—we have to learn them.

And, often, the learning happens in what we observe.

• Do parents spend huge amounts of time in front of the T.V.? Then so would the children.
• Do parents reach out to neighbors? Then so would the children.
• Do parents gossip about others? Then so would the children.

It’s all a part of instilling a sense of the responsibility we have as citizens of the world and members of our communities. We are a part of a bigger picture than what’s around us.

As global citizens, we are our brother’s keeper and our sister’s nurturer.

Here are some principles I learned about values.

1. Values are caught, not taught.

Yes, we have to be teachers of the Word, but our children imitate what we model.

My son and daughter inherited my creativity in the kitchen. They also learned about my negative traits and shortcomings.

What makes us different, as Christian parents?

The ability to say, “I’m sorry. I messed up. I need your forgiveness.”

2. Values develop in the heart before becoming an art.

When we understand the “why” behind the principle, it creates a solid background for a lifestyle.

Telling my child to do something my way because I’m the parent communicates we have to obey regardless of the reason.

When we explain our thinking, it helps them develop deductive reasoning skills and think through the process before pursuing an action.

3. Values shape us, not break us.

Values don’t provide a list of rules to make life difficult, but to provide boundaries for the formation of beautiful character.

Following a tab of do’s and don’ts creates legalism.

Developing attributes of integrity and moral strength creates freedom to be ourselves.

When I wrote What Will I Be When I Grow Up?, I wanted to express the importance of work being wholly dedicated to God.

We are all born with a particular personality bent, so we cannot expect each child to fall into the same career path. It’s like trying to fit a spare peg into a round hole.

In high school, I thought the only way I could serve God was to be a missionary. So, I set myself up to feel like a failure when that path didn’t open up.

I’ve learned instead, God uses us as His ambassadors in every arena.

Mechanics, lab technicians, and art teachers all have something in common—they have been created by God to do great work in their field.

These are statements I love.*

• Hair stylists tell people God counts each hair on our heads. (Matthew 10:30)
• Bakers tell people Jesus is the Bread of Life. (John 6:35)
• Firemen tell people Jesus came to rescue us. (2 Peter 3:9)

Do your children like math? They can help us number our days. (Psalm 90:12)

Do your children like aeronautics? They can remind us God created all things in intricate design. (Hebrews 11:3)

Do your children like music? They can lead us in worship to our Creator. (Exodus 15:19-21)

Instead of expecting your children to fulfill YOUR dreams, why not join in the greatest adventure by helping them discover THEIR God-given abilities?

Help them dream their own dreams by providing exposure to many occupations, and experimenting with instruction, interim work, and insight into other livelihoods.

They will become well-rounded individuals and, grounded in their faith, missionaries to the world around them!

How will you help your children create dreams based on biblical traits?

Sally Ferguson loves to dive into God’s Word and splash His refreshing water onto others. She speaks and writes with a look at snapshots of life in the sunshine and in the storms. Sally plans women’s retreats and she’s working on a Bible study for caregivers. She lives in the beautiful countryside of Jamestown, New York, with her husband and her dad. What Will I Be When I Grow Up? is available here, or contact Sally on her website—sallyferguson.net—for a copy.

*Statements are from Sally's book, What Will I Be When I Grow Up?

Graphic adapted, courtesty of Anastasia Gepp at Pixabay.

Waiting on God for Dreams to Come True

Cathy Horning is a rare jewel of wisdom. The more I've gotten to know her, the more I realize we are heart-sisters with the same passion for the Lord and His truth. In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she focuses on a popular topic: dreams.

Cathy asks, "Do you have a dream? One you have waited a long time to come true? A dream, that perhaps, you have all but given up on? Me too!"

Cathy's article came along at a time when I (Dawn) have been talking to the Lord much about dreams. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate her insight!

Cathy continues . . . 

I'd almost given up on a dream—until this summer when this nearly-60-year-old grandmother saw a childhood dream come true.  

1. God’s Timing; Not Mine!

I was 12 when I first decided I wanted to write a book. My books were going to be juicy, the kind of novels sold on racks near the checkout counter at the grocery store.

Then I met Jesus, and in His great wisdom, He tucked away my dream while He worked to grow me up and build my faith.

But one day, it was as if the Lord took my forgotten dream off of a shelf in my heart, dusted it off, and handed it back to me.

It was as if He said, “Remember when you wanted to write books for the world? Now, I want you to write books for Me.”

2. God Takes the Little We Have to Offer.

I was thrilled to rediscover my long forgotten dream. Eagerly, I began to write a weekly devotional for my women’s Bible study group.

Then, a few months later, I received two letters in the mail. Each note, from a young mom who had recently moved away, contained nearly-identical messages: “I have watched you as a mom … can you write to me about parenting?”

I cried. This just couldn’t be a coincidence.

But why would they ask me?

I prayed. God answered. And, I began to write letters—one letter a month for the next year and a half.

I mailed them to my two mom friends, then to a dozen more, and eventually to more than one hundred mamas.

In the days before social media and blogs, with four active children and my husband’s demanding career, it was the little I had to offer.

3. God Uses Detours, Delays and Busy Days.

Life got crazy, and my letter writing ended. God called us to a season of home schooling. Then we moved. Our new home soon became the hub for all of our teenagers’ friends. Plus, we kept busy with sports and hosting dinners, parties and youth events. Our basement was the place for our sons’ band, our daughter’s darkroom, and eventually, a dormitory for boys who wanted to move out, but couldn’t quite afford it.

Our lives were abundantly full.

I continued to teach Bible studies and speak at women’s events, but I did little writing.

Looking back now, there is no way I could have imagined how the Lord was using that very busy season of life to prepare, train and equip me (and our whole family) for purposes He had further down the road.  

4. God Will Give A Loving Nudge.

On occasions when I did speak or teach, I was often asked, “Do you have a book?” No, I hated to admit, I had nothing written.

However, that all changed on a flight to Arizona. The woman across the aisle recognized me from the gym, and for the next hour I had the opportunity to share with her the message I would give the following day. As we prepared to exit the plane, she called out, “I need your message. Do you have it written anywhere?”

I was utterly convicted.

So that summer, the year I turned 50, I began to write again. A book seemed daunting, so I decided to begin a blog.

Never again would I tell a hurting soul, “I have nothing written.”

5. God Rewards Sacrifice, Surrender and Obedience.

Our kids went off to college. Then there were weddings, and grandchildren began to arrive. As our family grew, our parents aged, and there were many unexpected health challenges and great family needs.

Through it all, I continued to blog as I was able. I worked to hone my writing skills, as I prayed my posts would encourage others.

Amidst all this, a spiritual season of winter hit hard. There were three long years of dying to self, serving my family, and surrendering my dreams to Jesus.

I began to believe my years of ministry were over.

Yet, as my hope waned, the Lord began to show me signs of spring. And slowly, this past year, God again opened doors for travel, to speak, and to show me that it was now time to write my book.

6. God’s Plan—for Such a Time as This.

Much to my delight, this summer—the year before I turn 60—my childhood dream came true! 

• I cried as I held in my hands my very first book.
• I praised God.
• And, I dedicated it to the Lord.

You see, to my amazement my first book was filled with the parenting letters I had written twenty-one years earlier, even though I had long lost hope those letters would ever be a book.

But God knew. He had a plan that in His time and His way they would become my very first book, as He has whispered His word to me all year, “Who knows if you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14)

My dear sisters, do you have a dream God has placed in your heart? Does it sometimes seem they will never come true? Or, that it is too late or you are too old? 

Let me assure you, as you walk with Jesus day-by-day, in His perfect plan and time, He will bring to pass and allow to come true the dreams He has planted in your heart.

Please don’t ever give up!

What dream has the Lord placed in your heart? Which of these six points help you to trust God with your dreams today?

Cathy Horning has been a women’s ministry leader, Bible Study teacher, speaker and writer for more than 25 years. She loves the Word of God. Nothing brings her greater joy than sharing with others how very precious, practical, and powerful the promises and truths in God's Word. Married for 34 years, Cathy has four grown children, 10 grandchildren, and many spiritual sons and daughters. She loves long walks by the bay, a good book or movie, Starbucks ice tea, and especially family get-togethers. Her new book is Letters from a Mother's Heart. Read more by Cathy at her website.

Graphic adapted, courtesty of StockSnap at Pixabay.

Your 3:20 Life!—a Breakthrough to Gain God's Best

When I first saw some statements by mega-author Pam Farrel about something called a "3:20 life," I invited her to share the concept with us. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she suggests a simple habit that can change our entire perspective.

"What do you think might happen," Pam asks, "if you put feet to your faith and acted on the belief that God really cares about your hopes and dreams?"

Several years ago, I (Dawn) remember gazing at a wall in the Farrels' home that was covered with framed book covers of all the books they've written. I thought at that time they were already putting feet to their faith. But as Pam explains, God often stirs us up afresh, because He has new growth and new adventures in mind!

Pam continues . . . 

How would you live if you really trusted in the power of the God you read about in the Bible—but for YOUR life, on behalf of YOUR future? 

It was an ordinary day, but the extraordinary God challenged me in an unexpected way.

As I remember it, the Facebook post was simply a friend sharing that she was on her way to pick up her kids at school, and it was 3:20 and she was praying the verse her pastor had challenged their church to pray—Ephesians 3:20.

Now to Him who is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly more than all that we dare ask or think [infinitely beyond our greatest prayers, hopes, or dreams], according to His power that is at work within us." (Amplified version)

That day, it was as if God pushed me off a high cliff and I dove into the deep waters of His Majesty with a rush of excitement.

• Lord, what if I made the commitment to pray Ephesians 3:20 every day at 3:20?
• And what if I put my whole weight into my commitment, and prayed believing for many of the hopes, dreams, prayers and secret longings of my heart that only You and I talk about?
• What if I set my alarm on my phone and pray at 3:20—not matter where I am or who I am with?
• What if I really took you up on your offer to do exceedingly abundantly beyond all I can ask or think?
  
• How would my life change?

That was almost four years ago. At the time, Bill and I were in what felt like a deep, dark, endless, hopeless pit that was an excruciatingly difficult mix of an overwhelmingly heavy workload of responsibilities: ministry, traveling, writing and speaking accompanied with weekly commuting to care for ailing, aging parents which created a burden financially, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.

I woke up daily dreading getting out of bed for fear of even more bad news. 

But this Ephesians 3:20 day, God was inviting me to become a more believing, praying adventurer with Him.

Too often we Christians allow the Word of God to become a nice book with a pretty leather cover that we might open for emotional comfort, or even for intellectual study. But rarely do we hunger for the Word to spur us forward in a “cattle-prod, get-out-of-our-comfort-zone, jump-from-the-plane-with-only-the-ripcord-of-the-character-of-God-to-save-us” kind of abandon. 

Seldom do we plunge head-first with only the bungee cord of the Word to rebound us to the safe center of God’s will.

It is an infrequent thrill to take the action steps of radical obedience when the full weight of your hopes, dreams and wild and wonderful imaginings will ONLY succeed if God shows up.

Powerfully. Supernaturally. Mightily!

So, what has changed in me and my life since I took God up on His offer to do “exceedingly, abundantly” more than this visionary, positive optimist can ask, think or dream?

First some things changed IN me.

1. Change in ALIGNMENT

Before you write this off as some “name it and claim it” prayerful magic pixie dust, dig a little deeper with me.  

The verse begins, “Now to Him who is able to do.” It is clear that I am NOT able—the power rests completely in GOD.One word that really wows my soul is the word “able” (dunamenō), because it is akin to the word we often use—DYNAMITE!

The power God will apply to your life and mine is EXPLOSIVE.

And it is CREATIVE.

God does the “do-ing”. The same Creator who designed and spoke the world and humankind into existence is the God who creates, manufactures, makes and produces His will in our lives. This spiritual “TNT”  is why Jesus can say things that make most of us very uncomfortable—but in a good way—like, Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you" (Matthew 17:20).

God wants to move our mountains. However, to see this kind of dynamite, earth-shaking power, it means me (and you) moving to see God clearer.

• It is adjusting my sails to catch God’s wind.
• It is aligning my heartbeat to match God’s.
• It is putting on God’s spectacles to see my life from His heavenly perspective.
• It is making the commitment to keep the defroster on and let the wipers of the Word keep the rain, fog, snow, and sleet off the faith windshield of my life so I have God’s vision for the path and plan ahead.

Praying Ephesians 3:20 keeps my heart in tune to God’s heart.

2. Change in APPRECIATION

This Creator God then out does Himself when He promises to do “far more abundantly beyond all we ask or think.”

Get this: When God is trying to impress something on a soul, He repeats himself. That is what He does here—three times.

(1) “Far more abundantly” means superabundantly, immeasurably more. 

(2) “Beyond” is hyper, or to go above and beyond, or over the top for the benefit and betterment of another.

(3) “All” means “each and every part, the totality, the whole.” Yep, God goes all the way, gives the whole enchilada, carries the plan to the finish line, ushers us into the end zone, over the goal line and into the winner’s circle. God doesn’t pull up short on His plans for us.

Now we may not fully comprehend His timing or His methods but we can rest assured in His ability to bring victory in His way, using His methods, in His time.

His plans will be better, greater, and more wonderful than anything I can ask or request. His ways will be so much more than I can think, consider, ponder, perceive, or dream up! (And if you ask my husband, I can dream up A LOT!)

God is just infinitively, wiser, smarter, and grander! While I can create hopes and dreams, God can turn hopes and dreams that line up to His best for us a REALITY!

Praying Ephesian 3:20 keeps me living in humble awe of the God who elevates and lifts us to His best for our lives. “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you” (1 Peter 5:6).

3. Change in ACCESSIBILITY

This creative power to make hopes, dreams and awesome imaginings come into being is done “according to His power that is at work within us."

This dunamis power is the miraculous, marvelous, might of God that works within us. If we peek forward, we see that God’s ability and strength is given for our good (v 20) and for HIS glory (v 21). “To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”  

This dunamis term for the power of God is repeated 120 times in the New Testament. God weaves Himself and His power into our lives is through the indwelling Holy Spirit.

Acts 1:8 explains, “But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you…” While I have always sought to walk moment by moment in step with God’s Spirit, praying Ephesians 3:20 has kept me ultra-sensitive to the tiniest whisper, course correction or prompting to pursue an opportunity.  

If we picture this God-powered plan in human terms, God builds our elite race car (us and His plan for us); He is the rocket fuel propelling us forward; and we are in the driver’s seat with the Spirit of God inside steering and guiding us in the most exciting race set out before us (Hebrews 12:1).

Our biggest (and sometimes the hardest) job is to yield enthusiastically to God’s leadership in our heart and life.

Praying Ephesians 3:20 allows God to live His best life:

• FOR us
• THROUGH us
• to BLESS us
• and BUILD us,
• and to bless others through us.
• and build His eternal kingdom using us! 

So, this is what God changed IN me.

What did God change FOR me in the process?

1. God gave us the courage to sell our home. (It took about 18 very long months to prepare and find God’s buyer—a church planter and his family!)
2. God challenged us to be compassionate enough to move nearer Bill’s parents (one frail of body, the other frail of mind), and be bold enough to sell and give away 90% of our belongings to move on to a live aboard boat!

The 3:20 life was very rigorous in getting us to this space where we are moored in a lovely marina, but God and His dynamite power was WITH us each step along the way!

We watched miracle after miracle unfold as God knocked down obstacle after obstacle.

We LOVE our simple beachfront 3:20 Life—teaching #biblefromtheboat, living a healthier pace while embracing a more physical active life where we kayak to get our mail and enjoy breath-taking sunsets of over the Pacific Ocean.

My husband, Bill, and I are writing a soon to be released workbook: Your 3:20 Life: Breakthrough to God’s Blessings to help build a life to look forward to living.

Are you ready for God’s 3:20 life for you?

Pull out your phone, set the alarm to ring at 3:20 each day; and if you are like me, you will wake up each day looking forward to the “exceedingly abundantly” moments God has in store for you!  

Pam Farrel is an international speaker, author of over 45 books including bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti and her newest Your 3:20 Life (both co-authored with her husband, Bill) To learn more about Pam and Bill Farrels ministry and how they can help you live Your 3:20 Life, go to www.Love-Wise.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Pixabay.

My Hope Is Built On . . .

Everyone talks about "dreams" these days, but Susan K. Stewart says we need to be careful when we dream and consider where we're placing our hopes. In this Spiritual Life UPLIFT, she tackles the topic with a personal story.

“I plan to go to UCLA and major in screenwriting,” the high school freshman announced.

She then laid out her plan, including what classes she would be taking in high school and community activities that will help her preparation for her goal.

Ah, plans. Yes, I (Dawn) have placed my hopes in so many personal plans, and even in people who might help me accomplish my goals. And I've learned, the hard way, exactly what Susan is about to teach us.

Susan continues . . .

“Wow! That’s wonderful,” I responded. “It seems to me you just might make it.”

When this confident young lady left the room, her dad said, “I want her to major in something that will give her a real career.”

“What!?” was all I could stammer. “What’s wrong with her goal? With her determination, she has a good chance of success.”

The response was, “Look what happened to Aunt Shirley.”

Aunt Shirley is a divorced family member who was a successful writer before the divorce, and was now struggling to make ends meet with two part-time jobs.

Has that ever happened to you? It has to me.

Why do we do that?

Compare someone’s (or our own) dream with another person’s failure.

Sometimes we sabotage our own hopes. We listen to our own negative talk.

• “It can’t happen."
• "I’m too old."
• "I’m too young."
• "No one else has ever done this before.”

Other times we have our hope in the wrong thing: education, another person, fortune, ourselves.

All of these sources of hope will fail us.

An archaic definition of hope is “trust, reliance.” Most often we think of our hope as the anticipation of something. We also build our dreams on what we or others are going to do for the fruition of that expectation.

If hope is in fact trust rather than dream, maybe our hopes are dashed because we have placed our trust in the wrong place or person.

We are told by Paul that Christ Jesus is our hope (1 Timothy 1:1). Not our dream or expectation, although we surely look forward to the coming of Jesus. Christ Jesus is where we place our trust; who we rely on.

We are told by Peter to “prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:13).

We are to TAKE ACTION BASED ON OUR HOPE (trust) on the GRACE of Jesus Christ.

When our expectations are based on hope from Jesus, we can’t sabotage them.

This requires taking those dreams to God before making all the plans on our own to-do list.

For years, I’ve had a dream of a having a specific book published. For years, my hopes have been built up only to be knocked down. This year I asked God, "Why?"

He impressed on me that I was trusting in my own plan, not the dreams He has for me.

I laid my desire aside. Even though a number of people gave me reasons not to, it was the right thing to do. I’m now trusting God’s vision for me rather than mine.

I’ve placed my hope in God’s dream.

When our hope—remember, that means trust and reliance—is in the Lord, no one can take them it away from us or talk us out of it. We will be able respond to negative self-talk with “God told me to do this and I trust him.”

What is your hope is built on?

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

~ Edward Mote (1797-1874)

Susan K. Stewart—when she’s not tending chickens and donkeys—teaches, writes, and edits non-fiction. Her passion is to inspire others with practical, real-world solutions. Susan's books include Science in the Kitchen; Preschool: At What Cost?; the award-winning Formatting e-Books for Writers; and her most recent book, Harried Homeschoolers Handbook. Learn more about Susan at Practical Inspirations. 

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Daniel Reche at Pixabay.

Make Your Life Count: Dream God's Dreams!

Poppy Smith urges women to "go for it" when it comes to dreams, but she encourages them to seek out God's dreams for their lives first. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she offers five action steps to help us create a life that counts for the Lord.

"You have one life," Poppy says. "Make it count by following God's dreams, desires and direction for you!"

This may be a new concept to many, and it took me (Dawn) many years to understand God wants to give me the desires of my heart, but He wants to fill my heart with a desire to please Him first! (Psalm 37:4).

Poppy continues . . .

I didn’t grow up with dreams. My English parents were content with their lives and never urged my two sisters or me to aim high.

The only aim we had was to find good-looking, kind husbands who had decent incomes.  And, of course, to each have several pink-cheeked English babies.

After becoming a Christian, however, I discovered something that radically changed me.

As I grew in my knowledge of the Word I discovered that God had purposes for my life—and the lives of all who follow Him. He had plans for who I was to become, and what I was to do.

To my amazement, I found that how I lived and how I used my time and talents was NOT up to me!

Ephesians 2:10 taught me: “We are created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God had prepared in advance for us to do.” 

I had no idea.

Philippians 2:13 showed me: “It is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” 

Now I saw where my longings and dreams of serving Him came from. He was behind those tugs and urges to speak, write, encourage, listen and love.

Our culture urges women to dream big. Aim high. Push forward at any cost. Achieve all you can.

But, unless those dreams, desires, and direction are of God, they can amount to a wasted life.

What are God’s dreams, desires, and direction for you? 

Here are five actions to guide you in creating a life that counts for Him.

1. Value your life as significant to God. 

It is a gift, a treasure, an opportunity to impact your world for Him. Are you investing it or wasting it?

2. Choose to walk worthy of your calling.

Pursue God, ask for insight: what does He want to touch in your life?

3. Ask God what dream He has for you.

Is it an old dream, or a new one? What is holding you back from saying YES?

Refuse to be scared—don’t cower in fear and miss God’s power in your life. Choose to put your faith in God and move forward.

4. Trace God’s direction of your life.

Remember how He has worked in you, shaping your personality, experiences, capabilities and longings.

Whatever your age or season of life, allow Him to stretch and use you in new ways today, and tomorrow. 

5. Fill your heart and mind with Him.

Seek His face. Delight in His Word. Meditate on it, be nourished by it.

Let the Word and the Spirit touch and transform your heart and your dreams.

Another year is almost gone. As you think about next year, what dreams, desires, or Spirit-given nudges do you sense in your soul?  Don’t IGNORE them—EXPLORE them! Say YES to His will and His ways, pray for direction, and Go For It!

Poppy Smith is British, married to an American, and has lived in many countries. A former Bible Study Fellowship teaching leader with a Masters in Spiritual Formation, she is a multi-published author. Her most recent release, Go For It! Make Your Life Count for God, uses Scripture, personal stories and insightful questions, motivating readers to find God’s purpose for their lives. Poppy speaks widely, challenging audiences to make their lives count by deepening their delight in God. Learn more about her and her ministry at her website and blog.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Dollarphotoclub / Graphicstock.com.