What's Love Got to Do with It?

Gail Purath’s One-minute Love Notes posts are short doses of mega-truth! In this Love UPGRADE, she nails the differences between love and lust.

“In 1984, Tina Turner's popular recording, ‘What’s love got to do with it?’ expressed confusion about love and physical attraction,” Gail said. “Most Americans are similarly confused.”

I (Dawn) have watched our society (and others around the world) reap the consequences of pursuing lust. It’s not a pretty picture. Cultures decay, lives are damaged and marriages are destroyed—all for fleeting moments of lust.

Gail continues . . .

Premarital sex has become normal behavior in our culture and many divorces involve adulterous affairs. 

Our culture's sexual confusion sometimes becomes very public—like the Tiger Woods scandal several years ago.

But physical relationships minus love are nothing new. Sadly, King David and Woods have similar stories: 

• Both men were respected and admired.  
• Both “had it all”—fame, fortune and family.  
• Both risked it all for sexual pleasure.
• Both paid a hefty price.

What did love have to do with it?

Nothing. Woods and David were controlled by lust. (1) 

The prophet Nathan gave an arresting illustration of love versus lust when he confronted King David in 2 Samuel 12.

Samuel compared Bathsheba’s husband Uriah to a poor man with one cherished lamb, and he compared David to a rich man who killed the poor man’s lamb for a single meal.

Uriah loved Bathsheba; David used her to feed his lustful appetite.

 Consider some characteristics of genuine love:

1. Genuine love involves friendship and respect.

David slept with Bathsheba when he barely knew her. He had no respect for her or he’d have been concerned with the consequences their affair had on her life, relationships and soul.

2. Genuine love involves honesty.

David and Bathsheba’s relationship—like all extramarital affairs—was built on deception. They dishonored God, their marriage vows and their bodies (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).

3. Genuine love involves commitment. If Bathsheba had not gotten pregnant, or if they’d successfully tricked Uriah, their relationship would probably have ended that night.

Modern secular studies confirm that commitment is essential for successful relationships:

“Many studies have found that those who live together before marriage have less satisfying marriages and a considerably higher chance of eventually breaking up…the very act of living together may lead to attitudes that make happy marriages more difficult. (2)

Perhaps David and Bathsheba eventually grew to love each other, but nothing in Scripture reveals a close, ongoing relationship between them. When David grew old, he didn’t have a close relationship with any of his wives, but chose to keep warm at night by sleeping with a young virgin (1 Kings 1:15-17). (3)

I wonder what Bathsheba thought growing old in a palace full of David’s other wives amid the lust and murder that became part of David’s family legacy. Did she sometimes ponder the way Uriah had cherished her as his only wife? Did she ever wonder what love had to do with it?

A single night of lust changed her life forever.

Do you understand the difference between lust and love? Is there even a hint of lust in your relationships? If you have any doubt about the characteristics of love, read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

Gail Purath has been married to her best friend for 44 years, living the life of a nomad here on earth (40 homes in 62 years), looking forward to her heavenly home. Mother of two, grammy of seven, Gail writes about her joys, struggles, failures and victories in her short-but-powerful 1-Minute Bible Love Notes and shares a short Bible study each week on Bite Size Bible Study.

Footnotes:

(1) Fortunately, lust can’t destroy our most important relationship—if we repent of it. David’s prayer in Psalm 51 is a testament to this. He suffered severely for his sin but remained close to the Lord through genuine repentance. 

(2) “Top Ten Marriage Myths,” by David Popenoe, [health.discovery.com, Love and Relationships Center]. Also here.

(3) There are no good examples of polygamy in Scripture. Although God allowed it, it was not part of His original design for a healthy marriage. Bible narratives confirm this.

How to Be Your Own 'Thought Police'

Gail Purath has a gift. She can share huge concepts in a minimal number of words. (This Attitude UPGRADE about negative thinking is actually a combination of two of her posts at 1-Minute Bible Love Notes.)

“When you let your mind wander,” Gail says, “where does it go?”

Oh my. I (Dawn) have such a difficult time lassoing my thoughts. Do you? I really need Gail’s challenging words.

She continues ….

I don’t want to tell you how often mine heads straight to dirty thoughts—not porno, but bitter memories or worries or self-pity. This is especially true when I’m going through a difficulty. 

Did you know we speak at a rate of 120 words a minute, but we think negative thoughts at 1300 words a minute?

That means our thoughts can bury us in a pit of self-despair 10 times faster than spoken words.

No wonder Scripture says:

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).

In other words, you can be your own Thought Police!”

So many of my problems begin in my thoughts. I think the worst about a situation or dwell on the negatives. I decide something is hopeless or meaningless and conclude I can’t be happy unless it changes.

There’s a two-step answer to the dilemma: “… we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

1. Take your thoughts captive—make a conscious decision to quit thinking negatively.

2. Make your thoughts obedient to Christ—dwell on God’s Truth.

For example:

• God can bring good out of every situation. (Romans 8:28)
• God will never, ever, EVER leave me. (Hebrews 13:5b)
• Peace comes by dwelling on good things. (Philippians 4:8)
• And no matter what else happens, I can rejoice in my salvation! (Philippians 3:8-9)

What are some practical ways to fight these negative thoughts?

1. You might memorize Bible verses related to your struggle with negative thinking.
2. You might interrupt negative thoughts by counting your blessings.
3. You might praise God when negative thoughts come.

Remember, most battles are won or lost in our minds. Fight the good fight against negative thinking.

Where does your mind wander? Are you are struggling with negative thoughts? Ask the Lord to help you implement His two-step solution.

Gail Purath has been married to her best friend for 42 years, living the life of a nomad here on earth (40 homes in 62 years), looking forward to her heavenly home. Mother of two, grammy of seven, Gail writes about her joys, struggles, failures and victories in her short-but-powerful 1-Minute Bible Love Notes and shares a short Bible study each week on Bite Size Bible Study.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

4 Tips for Being a Fun, Faithful Grandparent

I'm always amazed by how much truth Gail Purath can pack into her 1-Minute Bible Love Notes posts. But I also know she is a loving grandma, and I asked her to share this relationship UPGRADE. (NOTE: If you are not a grandma or even a mother, consider how you might apply Gail's counsel to a mentoring sitution.)

"Six-week-old Emma had never said anything clever nor done anything noble or good," Gail said. "She required constant care and gave nothing tangible in return. But whenever I held her in my arms, I was overcome with love for my very first grandchild."

Almost any grandparent will identify with that. I (Dawn) have three granddaughters and they mean the world to me. I'm always looking for fun projects to do with them, but also for ways to build a legacy.

Gail continues ... 

We experience this love as parents, but experiencing it with our children’s children is doubly sweet. It helps us understand God’s love in new ways and gives us an awesome mission in our senior years.

We might paraphrase Ephesians 2:10:

“We are grandparents by God’s design, created in Christ Jesus to be fun and faithful, doing those things God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Six times since Emma's birth, my arms have held a new grandchild. And in my ten years as a "grammy" I've learned some things I'd love to pass along to make your grandparenting more fun and faithful:

1. Share Your Talents

Whether you're good at cooking, sewing, music, gardening, athletics or woodworking, you have something to share.

One thing I love doing is baking my signature cinnamon rolls with my grandchildren. They love getting their hands in the dough, and we end up with cinnamon and flour everywhere.

But the mess is part of the memory, and we all have a good time.

2. Share Your Faith

This may be the most important evangelism you do in your entire life, so ask God for creative ways to do it.

Last year I had an after-school "Bible Club" for my two oldest granddaughters, and this year I started reading Christian missionary biographies with my ten-year-old granddaughter. What  wonderful opportunities we've had to discuss the Lord together.

3. Pray for Your Grandchildren

Your age, experience and love give you special wisdom in praying specifically for your grandchildren’s hearts and lives.

Many throughout history have been influenced by the lives and prayers of their grandparents—Timothy, for one (2 Timothy 1:5). This aspect of our grandparenting can't be overestimated.

4. Be Available and Have Fun

Grandparents usually have more time than parents. Even if you're still working full time, you have fewer dependent family members to keep you busy.

It’s true that age steals some of our energy, but reserving some of that energy for our grands is well worth it.

One afternoon my six-year-old granddaughter Gracie asked if she could come to my house while her mom went to the gym.

"I don't know if Grammy wants to babysit today," my daughter cautioned.

"Oh, Grammy doesn't babysit me," Gracie insisted, "We just hang out together."

If you haven’t learned it yet, it’s high time to learn the art of just “hangin’ out.” Enjoy your “second childhood” by rolling on the floor, being silly, playing with paper dolls, and riding bikes. Grandchildren are wonderful playmates.

Yes, grandparenting is more than an awesome responsibility; it’s an awesome opportunity to love and be loved, an opportunity to share our gifts, our faith, our prayers, our lives, and our creativity with our children's children. Let's make the most of it!

What are some special things you've done with a grandchild to create some God-honoring memories?

Gail Purath has been married to her best friend Michael for 42 years, living the life of a nomad here on earth (40 homes in 62 years), looking forward to her heavenly home. She is the mother of two and "grammy" of seven—three boys and four girls (ages 2-10). Gail writes about her joys, struggles, failures and victories in her short-but-powerful 1-Minute Bible Love Notes and shares a short Bible study each week on Bite Size Bible Study. Gail writes about her joys, struggles, failures and victories in her short-but-powerful 1-Minute Bible Love Notes and shares a short Bible study each week on Bite Size Bible Study.

Linked to these blog hops:

Modest Mom

Time Warp Wife

Raising Homemakers

Grandma's Briefs

Two All Beef Patties

"Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun."

"I wrote that from memory and I imagine many of you could do the same," Gail Purath said. "Pretty amazing considering that McDonalds only ran that Big Mac jingle for one year (1975-76). And even more amazing because I didn't try to learn it."

I don't know about Gail, but I memorized things a lot easier back then.

She continues ...

Our memories are incredible. We memorize things throughout our lives without even trying—sights, smells, sounds, names, recipes, addresses, phone numbers, songs...

Sadly, studies show that:

“Put to the test, Americans recalled the seven ingredients of a McDonald's Big Mac hamburger and members of TV's 'The Brady Bunch' more easily than the Bible's Ten Commandments.”

I’ve memorized Scripture ever since becoming a Christian, although not as faithfully as I should. And I fear that my head is still filled with far more useless information than with God's life-changing words. 

So, if you're like me and need an occasional boost to get back into the discipline of memory work, let me give you a few "painless" ideas:

1. Reading Memorization: write out and repeat a verse daily. Eventually you'll memorize it.

2. Mutual Memorization: Memorize a passage a week with a buddy.  It always helps to have accountability and someone to "show off" what you learn.

3. Musical Memorization: Music helps us remember. That's how we learned the alphabet as kids and why advertisers use catchy jingles. Think how many words to songs you've memorized without trying. So why not put Scripture passages to familiar tunes, or make up your own Scripture “jingles.”

4. Retro Memorization: Find some old 1970's praise albums (or 8 track tapes? just kidding) when many of the songs were straight from the words of Scripture.  I became a Christian in the 70's and these choruses are the source of many of the verses hidden in my heart.

5. Artistic Memorization: Draw pictures and symbols, even if they are just stick figures and doodles, whatever will help you visualize the passage.

6. Academic Memorization: Tear the verse apart, identify the parts of speech; create an outline or bullet points to help you remember passages.  You English teacher-types will especially like this.

7. Figure 8 Memorization: This method based on Psalm 119:97 involves reading a passage eight times a day for eight days.

"Hiding God’s Word in our hearts" (Psalm 119:11) has far reaching benefits, and is well worth the effort, especially when we can employ one of these painless methods. 

Why not leave a comment with your favorite method of memorization so others can benefit. And please share any special stories about ways memorization has blessed you or others.

Gail Purath has been married to her best friend for 42 years, living the life of a nomad here on earth (40 homes in 62 years), looking forward to her heavenly home. Mother of two, grammy of seven, Gail writes about her joys, struggles, failures and victories in her short-but-powerful 1-Minute Bible Love Notes and shares a short Bible study each week on Bite Size Bible Study.

God Wins All Wrestling Matches

Gail Purath is amazing. She proves great posts can be short and powerful. I discovered her at 1-Minute Bible Love Notes and I love her heart. I asked her to share a story about her trip to Prague and a lesson God taught her there; it’s something to help us all “upgrade” our obedience.

“I disobeyed the law,” Purath wrote. “What else could I do?”

She continues…

I needed money for supper, the official banks were closed, and black-market money was available.

It was 1980 and I was touring Communist Czechoslovakia with some girlfriends. The gray sadness of Communism couldn't hide the beauty of the ancient city of Prague. Perhaps that's why I forgot to exchange money before the banks closed.

There I was with only $2 worth of Czech Korunas, not enough for supper.

I asked our tour guide what I could do, and she told me she would sell me black-market money. Must have been a sign, right? I convinced myself it was the only option and gave her $20 to exchange. I admit it was nice to get twice as much as the bank exchange.

But then the wrestling match began... the one between me and God. It went on all afternoon... me telling Him I had no choice... Him telling me that the bank law didn't violate His Law, so I needed to obey it (Romans 13:1-6).

I knew what I had to do. I returned the money to our tour guide, felt relieved, and wondered how I would pay for supper.

God doesn't promise to work things out when we forget to get to the bank on time, but he blessed me that evening. A friend who knew nothing about my situation surprised me by buying my supper, and my $2 worth of Korunas was a perfect tip for the waiter.

But I did something else illegal on that trip and God approved.

At that point in history, it was illegal to import and distribute Christian literature in Czechoslovakia, but I brought in New Testaments, prayed over them, and left them in places for Czech citizens to find.

How do I know God approved?

In 1 Peter 2:13-17, Peter commands Christians to submit to every human authority, and this command came at a time when the government was just as corrupt as Communism.  But Peter was also God's spokesman for an "exception clause." When the official authorities of the Sanhedrin commanded him to quite preaching about Christ, Peter said, “We must obey God rather than human beings!” (Acts 5:27-32).

God expects us to obey laws even when they are inconvenient and unwise, but not when they violate His higher laws. We can disagree, but we need to remember that God wins all wrestling matches.

How will you respond when God asks you to obey the law or something tough He asks of you  today?

Gail Purath has been married to her best friend for 42 years, living the life of a nomad here on earth (40 homes in 62 years), looking forward to her heavenly home. Mother of two, grammy of seven, she writes about her joys, struggles, failures and victories in her 1-Minute Bible Love Notes and shares a short Bible study each week on Bite Size Bible Study.