What's Love Got to Do with It?

Gail Purath’s One-minute Love Notes posts are short doses of mega-truth! In this Love UPGRADE, she nails the differences between love and lust.

“In 1984, Tina Turner's popular recording, ‘What’s love got to do with it?’ expressed confusion about love and physical attraction,” Gail said. “Most Americans are similarly confused.”

I (Dawn) have watched our society (and others around the world) reap the consequences of pursuing lust. It’s not a pretty picture. Cultures decay, lives are damaged and marriages are destroyed—all for fleeting moments of lust.

Gail continues . . .

Premarital sex has become normal behavior in our culture and many divorces involve adulterous affairs. 

Our culture's sexual confusion sometimes becomes very public—like the Tiger Woods scandal several years ago.

But physical relationships minus love are nothing new. Sadly, King David and Woods have similar stories: 

• Both men were respected and admired.  
• Both “had it all”—fame, fortune and family.  
• Both risked it all for sexual pleasure.
• Both paid a hefty price.

What did love have to do with it?

Nothing. Woods and David were controlled by lust. (1) 

The prophet Nathan gave an arresting illustration of love versus lust when he confronted King David in 2 Samuel 12.

Samuel compared Bathsheba’s husband Uriah to a poor man with one cherished lamb, and he compared David to a rich man who killed the poor man’s lamb for a single meal.

Uriah loved Bathsheba; David used her to feed his lustful appetite.

 Consider some characteristics of genuine love:

1. Genuine love involves friendship and respect.

David slept with Bathsheba when he barely knew her. He had no respect for her or he’d have been concerned with the consequences their affair had on her life, relationships and soul.

2. Genuine love involves honesty.

David and Bathsheba’s relationship—like all extramarital affairs—was built on deception. They dishonored God, their marriage vows and their bodies (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).

3. Genuine love involves commitment. If Bathsheba had not gotten pregnant, or if they’d successfully tricked Uriah, their relationship would probably have ended that night.

Modern secular studies confirm that commitment is essential for successful relationships:

“Many studies have found that those who live together before marriage have less satisfying marriages and a considerably higher chance of eventually breaking up…the very act of living together may lead to attitudes that make happy marriages more difficult. (2)

Perhaps David and Bathsheba eventually grew to love each other, but nothing in Scripture reveals a close, ongoing relationship between them. When David grew old, he didn’t have a close relationship with any of his wives, but chose to keep warm at night by sleeping with a young virgin (1 Kings 1:15-17). (3)

I wonder what Bathsheba thought growing old in a palace full of David’s other wives amid the lust and murder that became part of David’s family legacy. Did she sometimes ponder the way Uriah had cherished her as his only wife? Did she ever wonder what love had to do with it?

A single night of lust changed her life forever.

Do you understand the difference between lust and love? Is there even a hint of lust in your relationships? If you have any doubt about the characteristics of love, read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

Gail Purath has been married to her best friend for 44 years, living the life of a nomad here on earth (40 homes in 62 years), looking forward to her heavenly home. Mother of two, grammy of seven, Gail writes about her joys, struggles, failures and victories in her short-but-powerful 1-Minute Bible Love Notes and shares a short Bible study each week on Bite Size Bible Study.

Footnotes:

(1) Fortunately, lust can’t destroy our most important relationship—if we repent of it. David’s prayer in Psalm 51 is a testament to this. He suffered severely for his sin but remained close to the Lord through genuine repentance. 

(2) “Top Ten Marriage Myths,” by David Popenoe, [health.discovery.com, Love and Relationships Center]. Also here.

(3) There are no good examples of polygamy in Scripture. Although God allowed it, it was not part of His original design for a healthy marriage. Bible narratives confirm this.