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Entries in Biblical Love (2)

Monday
Feb122024

The Happy Truth about Valentine's Day

In this Valentine's Day UPGRADE, we can upgrade our understanding of this holiday—what it is and why we celebrate it, and whether Christians should happily take part. First, a little history lesson, and then some positive encouragement.

     What Is the Origin of Valentine’s Day?

I debated a man once concerning Valentine’s Day. “So what’s with Christians and Valentine’s Day,” he said. “Why celebrate a pagan holiday?”

To be honest, I stumbled around with my answers. I really didn’t know much about the celebration’s background, and the theories I put forth were woefully weak. Later, I decided to study it out; and maybe what I discovered will help you too.

St. Valentine’s Day, like St. Patrick’s Day, is popular in Europe and the modern west. While there are texts by Patrick himself that tell us about the godly man and help explain why he is celebrated, the origin of Valentine and Valentine’s Day aren’t entirely clear.

In secular articles, you’re sure to read about the pagan origins of Valentine’s Day. And in religious articles, the story is all about a martyred saint.

So which is right?

Maybe a little of both.

Some historians say the likely origin of the holiday was the ancient Roman festival, Lupercalia, which was celebrated on February 15th. Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, but also to the Roman founders, Romulus and Remus, who were believed to have been cared for as infants by a wolf (a lupa).

The fertility festival was quite involved, ending with young women placing their names in an urn and bachelors drawing names to pair off for the year, a practice that often led to marriage.

Pope Gelasius (5th century) abolished the fertility festival for its “un-Christian” practices, and replaced it with a day honoring St. Valentine.

The term “Volantynys day” showed up in a romantic, 14th century poem, “Parliament of Fowls,” by Geoffrey Chaucer. The poem explicitly linked romantic love to Valentine. The concept behind the poem is that a group of birds gather on “seynt valentynes day” to choose their mates—hence, the day’s romantic theme. By the 15th century, lovers sent each other love notes on Saint Valentine’s Day.

For some reason, Cupid was later added into the Valentine’s Day mix. The Cupid figure was originally Eros, the son of Aphrodite, in Greek mythology. Later, in Roman mythology, the name was switched to Cupid, the son of Venus. In both cases, he was the son of the mythical goddess of love and armed with a bow and two kinds of arrows—gold arrows to spark love and lead arrows to ignite hate.

Cupid was devious and played on his targets’ emotions. In later writings, Cupid was portrayed as a mischievous cherub, and later still, he became something like a mascot for Valentine’s Day.  

February 14 is listed on the “Calendar of Saints” in Anglican and Lutheran churches, but the Roman Catholic Church practiced it as a local celebration. The Eastern Orthodox Church celebrated Saint Valentine’s Day too, but on July 6.

The modern-day celebration is a romantic holiday, primarily developed in Victorian England. It included the giving of cards, flowers, and chocolates. Commercialized Valentine’s Day cards were created in the early to mid-19th century. In some countries, the day is considered a celebration of friendship rather than romance.

The oldest known written valentine is at the British Library in London, written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife—from his prison cell in the Tower of London.

But what about Valentine himself?

Was Valentine a Martyred Saint?

The name “Valentine” was a popular name, with about a dozen early Christians having that name. The Catholic church recognizes at least three Christians named Valentine or Valentinus. All three were Christian martyrs, like Bishop Valentine of Terni who was beheaded.

Tradition, however, embraces Valentine of Rome, an Italian bishop who was killed on February 14, 296 AD, at the command of Emperor Claudius Gothicus of Rome.

As the story goes, Claudius decided that single men would make better soldiers than those who had wives and families, so he outlawed marriage for young men. Feeling this was an injustice, Valentine defied the emperor and continued to perform secret marriages for young lovers.

Emperor Claudius, angered to hear about Valentine's actions, interviewed Valentine and told him he could only escape death if he converted to paganism.

Instead, Valentine tried to convert Claudius to Christianity!

So was Valentine a true Christian? Unlike "St. Patrick," we don't know what Valentine believed about Jesus or salvation.

Only God knows Valentine's heart, just as He knows our hearts.

Stories about him were likely embellished to solidify his commemoration as a Catholic saint.

For example, prior to his execution, it’s said Valentine healed a jailer’s blind daughter, Julia, who encouraged him in prison. Some renditions of this account say he wrote a letter to Julia before his death, signing it, “Your Valentine.”

It’s also said that he gave parchment hearts to soldiers and to persecuted Christians to remind them of God’s love. Some stories suggest Valentine was killed for trying to help Christians escape torture in Roman prisons.

While the Valentine stories are murky, in all accounts, he was heroic and he deeply loved God.

Should Christians Celebrate Valentine’s Day?

So how does all this play out for Christians? A writer at the Bible research site Compelling Truth says that the holiday is “neither biblical nor anti-biblical.”

The Happy Truth about Valentine's Day is that it is permissible to celebrate, but perhaps in a uniquely Christian way.

Christians are free regarding the celebration of Valentine’s Day,” the writer said. “There are many positive things to be said about celebrating love for one another.

There is nothing inherently wrong with expressing love through cards and gifts on a specific day of the year. "But there is nothing inherently righteous about it either," the writer said, "and we should also express our love for one another throughout the year and in a variety of ways.”

Valentine's "sainthood" is an issue for some. It's important to note that in early translations, believers in the Bible are called “saints,” meaning “holy ones” (Acts 9:32; Romans 16:2; Ephesians 4:12; Philippians 4:21)—even though some of them might have had serious sin problems. In some newer translations, they are simply called "the Lord's people" or "believers"—perhaps as a reaction to the misuse of the term "saint."

There is no such thing biblically as "sainthood" as it expressed by the Catholic Church.

  • But there’s nothing wrong with commemorating Christian martyrs or faithful Christians in the past.
  • Neither is there a biblical mandate to commemorate them.

In the article, “Valentine’s Day Belongs to God,” Jon Bloom at Discovering God says, “So what should Christians make of today’s Valentine’s Day?

"As much as purely possible!”

Bloom notes that “Valentine was a saint and Eros (love) in not Cupid’s domain.” So, he says, Christians should be “the most unashamed and exuberant celebrators of romantic love there are, and the strongest guardians of God’s design and boundaries, because God made it for us to enjoy, along with many other things (1 Timothy 6:17b).” For example, Song of Solomon is packed with intoxicating, romantic love. Solomon was intoxicated with his bride!

The mystery of married love is to be celebrated (Proverbs 18:22; Ephesians 5:21-33; 1 Peter 3:1-7), and yet it is only a shadow of what is to come, Bloom said. He calls God the “greatest romantic in existence,” and said our Creator has designed romance to give us “a taste of the greatest romance that will ever exist, of which all Christians will experience.”

What does Bloom mean? At the marriage supper of the Lamb, when we drink the wine with our Groom and enjoy spiritual intimacy with Him that we had only previously known in metaphors (Revelation 19:6-8).

Four closing thoughts:

1. Valentine’s Day should not be something used to divide God’s people.

How should Christians deal with disagreement in the Body of Christ about Valentine’s Day? Biblically! 

Paul wrote about special days:

One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind (Romans 14:5).

In other words, we may not think the same concerning special "days," and we need to be careful in judging other believers. (Be sure, when you take issue with other Christians, that there's a biblical truth behind your concerns; and if you do share concerns, do it in a spirit of humility and love.)

2. Every day is a good day to celebrate biblical love.

Christians may disagree with the whole premise of Valentine's Day, but they can always celebrate the human loves God gives us.

  • We can celebrate the love of a spouse.
  • We can celebrate the love of our family and extended family.
  • We can celebrate the love of friends.
  • We can celebrate the love of those who have served and blessed us.

3. Use Valentine’s Day as a reminder of a greater love.

Valentine’s Day can be a might be a positive prompt for us to remember the love that surpasses all earthly loves.

First, there is the love of God for us in sending His Son, and second, there is the love of Jesus in becoming our Savior (Romans 5:8; 1 John 4:14).

And then their great love prompts us to love others (John 13:34; 15:12; Ephesians 5:2).

4. What might you say to Valentine?

Assuming Valentine genuinely trusted in Jesus, rejoice that you might meet him in heaven.

What would you say to him? Would you want to chat with him and all the others throughout history who died for their confession of faith in Jesus.

I think it would be wonderful to thank Valentine for modeling genuine lovein life and in his martyrdom.

How might you use Valentine’s Day to focus on your earthly loved ones and the One who loved you so much that He died for you?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. Dawn and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and she has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Monkia at Pixabay.

Monday
Feb022015

What's Love Got to Do with It?

Gail Purath’s One-minute Love Notes posts are short doses of mega-truth! In this Love UPGRADE, she nails the differences between love and lust.

“In 1984, Tina Turner's popular recording, ‘What’s love got to do with it?’ expressed confusion about love and physical attraction,” Gail said. “Most Americans are similarly confused.”

I (Dawn) have watched our society (and others around the world) reap the consequences of pursuing lust. It’s not a pretty picture. Cultures decay, lives are damaged and marriages are destroyed—all for fleeting moments of lust.

Gail continues . . .

Premarital sex has become normal behavior in our culture and many divorces involve adulterous affairs. 

Our culture's sexual confusion sometimes becomes very public—like the Tiger Woods scandal several years ago.

But physical relationships minus love are nothing new. Sadly, King David and Woods have similar stories: 

  • Both men were respected and admired.  
  • Both “had it all”—fame, fortune and family.  
  • Both risked it all for sexual pleasure.
  • Both paid a hefty price.

What did love have to do with it?

Nothing. Woods and David were controlled by lust. (1) 

The prophet Nathan gave an arresting illustration of love versus lust when he confronted King David in 2 Samuel 12.

Samuel compared Bathsheba’s husband Uriah to a poor man with one cherished lamb, and he compared David to a rich man who killed the poor man’s lamb for a single meal.

Uriah loved Bathsheba; David used her to feed his lustful appetite.

 Consider some characteristics of genuine love:

1. Genuine love involves friendship and respect.

David slept with Bathsheba when he barely knew her. He had no respect for her or he’d have been concerned with the consequences their affair had on her life, relationships and soul.

2. Genuine love involves honesty.

David and Bathsheba’s relationship—like all extramarital affairs—was built on deception. They dishonored God, their marriage vows and their bodies (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).

3. Genuine love involves commitment. If Bathsheba had not gotten pregnant, or if they’d successfully tricked Uriah, their relationship would probably have ended that night.

Modern secular studies confirm that commitment is essential for successful relationships:

“Many studies have found that those who live together before marriage have less satisfying marriages and a considerably higher chance of eventually breaking up…the very act of living together may lead to attitudes that make happy marriages more difficult. (2)

Perhaps David and Bathsheba eventually grew to love each other, but nothing in Scripture reveals a close, ongoing relationship between them. When David grew old, he didn’t have a close relationship with any of his wives, but chose to keep warm at night by sleeping with a young virgin (1 Kings 1:15-17). (3)

I wonder what Bathsheba thought growing old in a palace full of David’s other wives amid the lust and murder that became part of David’s family legacy. Did she sometimes ponder the way Uriah had cherished her as his only wife? Did she ever wonder what love had to do with it?

A single night of lust changed her life forever.

Do you understand the difference between lust and love? Is there even a hint of lust in your relationships? If you have any doubt about the characteristics of love, read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

Gail Purath has been married to her best friend for 44 years, living the life of a nomad here on earth (40 homes in 62 years), looking forward to her heavenly home. Mother of two, grammy of seven, Gail writes about her joys, struggles, failures and victories in her short-but-powerful 1-Minute Bible Love Notes and shares a short Bible study each week on Bite Size Bible Study.

Footnotes:

(1) Fortunately, lust can’t destroy our most important relationship—if we repent of it. David’s prayer in Psalm 51 is a testament to this. He suffered severely for his sin but remained close to the Lord through genuine repentance. 

(2) “Top Ten Marriage Myths,” by David Popenoe, [health.discovery.com, Love and Relationships Center]. Also here.

(3) There are no good examples of polygamy in Scripture. Although God allowed it, it was not part of His original design for a healthy marriage. Bible narratives confirm this.