Practicing the "One Anothers"—Dos and Don'ts

In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, Dawn Wilson encourages readers to not only study the many "one anothers" of scripture, but also to incorporate them into daily living.

One of the first teachings of biblical truth that changed my life after becoming a true, biblical Christian was the study of the "one anothers" of scripture.

At first, they were a nice list of Christian-sounding scriptures.

But as I began to mature in my daily walk with God, I realized the "one anothers" of scripture are a gift. They teach us how to interact in the body of Christ.

I want to share what is by no means an extensive list of the "one anothers" in scripture, and in some cases, to share some insights. Then I want to share a second list that I only recently began to put into practices.

1. Things we SHOULD DO to, or for, "one another"

• Be at PEACE with one another. (Mark 9:50; Romans 14:19; 1 Thessalonians 5:13b;  2 Thessalonians 1:3; 1 Peter 1:22; 4:8; 1 John 3:11, 23; 4:7, 11-12; 2 John 1:5)
•  WASH one another’s feet. (John 13:14)
•  LOVE one another—abound in love. (John 13:34, 35; 15:12, 17; Romans 13:8;  1 Thessalonians 3:12; 4:9)
•  Be DEVOTED to one another with brotherly affection; be loyal, committed. (Romans 12:10)
•  Give PREFERENCE to one another in honor—a selfless attitude. (Romans 12:10)
•  Be of the SAME MIND toward one another; unity in thought around biblical truth, even if you disagree over preferences. (Romans 12:16; 15:5)
•  BUILD UP one another. Applaud efforts and help strengthen against weaknesses. (Romans 14:19; 1 Thessalonians 5:11)
•  ACCEPT one another. This is not agreement, but rather accepting the design and assignments God has given to others. (Romans 15:7)
•  ADMONISH one another. Challenge and reprove with truth and encourage them to respond righteously toward God and others. (Romans 15:14; Colossians 3:16)
•  GREET one another. (The "holy kiss" was a biblical tradition of greeting, not always practiced today. But anyone can welcome and greet believers in friendship and sincerity.) (Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Peter 5:14)
•  WAIT FOR one another: Don't be greedy at mealtime. Yes, that is a thing! – (1 Corinthians 11:33)
•  CARE FOR one another. Be involved with people and see how you can help to meet their needs. (1 Corinthians 12:25)
•  SERVE one another. (Galatians 5:13; 1 Peter 4:10)
•  BEAR one another’s burdens. (Galatians 6:2)
•  Show TOLERANCE for one another. This is not the warped concept of tolerance in today's culture, but rather openness—welcoming free speech and opposing views without tailoring your own views. It's knowing honest exchange gives an opportunity to help others understand biblical truth and also presents an opportunity to model the love of Christ to them. (Ephesians 4:2)
•  Speak TRUTH to one another, understanding that you are members in one Body. (Romans 12:5; Ephesians 4:25)
•  Be KIND and tenderhearted toward one another. (Ephesians 4:32)
•  FORGIVE one another. (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13)
•  WORSHIP WITH one another: "speaking to one another in psalms and hymns". (Ephesians 5:19)
• BE SUBJECT to one another. Mutual submission in the Body of Christ is a beautiful thing. [Beyond that, there is the special submission of a wife to her husband as "head" of the home.] (Ephesians 5:21; and 5:22-33)
• Clothe yourselves with HUMILITY toward one another; regard each other as more important than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3; 1 Peter 5:5)
• BEAR WITH one another—bear with their weaknesses, remembering you are a sinner too. (Colossians 3:13)
•  TEACH one another; edify them for growth. (Colossians 3:16)
•  COMFORT one another, even as God comforts you. (1 Thessalonians 4:18)
•  ENCOURAGE one another. (1 Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 3:13; 10:25)
•  BLESS—Seek after that which is good for one another. (1 Thessalonians 5:15)
•  STIMULATE or motivate one another to love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)
•  CONFESS your sins to one another. [Note: This is not advocating a priest or church leader granting forgiveness of sins—as some religions promote—because God is the one who forgives; but rather, we confess to other believers to clear the air and make way for healing and greater or renewed fellowship with others.] (James 5:16)
•  PRAY for one another. It can "avail" much. (James 5:16)
•  Show HOSPITALITY to one another. And that is much more than opening our homes. (1 Peter 4:9)
•  FELLOWSHIP with one another. And that isn't just around a table of food. The "fellowship of the saints" is the mutal sharing around the knowlege of God and fullness of Christ. (1 John 1:7; Ephesians 3:4, 7-19)
•  Show MERCY and compassion to one another. (Zechariah 7:9)

I don't know about you, but that list is overwhelming!

But imagine how your family and church—and as a result, possibly your community—might change if you lived according to that list of "one anothers."

Imagine how the Lord might work in and through you if the "one anothers" were more than a list!

But that positive, powerful list is not the only one to consider.

The scripture also is clear about some things we should be careful NEVER to practice!

2. Things We SHOULD NOT do to "one another"

• Don’t JUDGE one another. (Romans 14:13)
• Don't bite and DEVOUR one another; don't "annihilate" each other. (Galatians 5:15)
• Don't PROVOKE or challenge one another—this is related to envy and being conceited or boastful. (Galatians 5:26)
• Don't bring LAWSUITS against one another. (1 Corinthians 6:7)
• Don't DEPRIVE one another sexually in marriage. (1 Corinthians 7:5)
• Do not LIE to one another. (Leviticus 19:11; Colossians 3:9)  
• Do not speak against (BAD MOUTH) one another. (James 4:11)
• Do not COMPLAIN or grumble about one another. (James 5:9)
• Do not INJURE or wound one another with infighting. (Watch your words; be a peacemaker.) (Acts 7:26)
• Don't QUARREL, separating from one another in sharp disagreement: destroying unity. (Acts 15:39)
• Don't be HATEFUL to one another. It's part of your "foolish" past before you knew Christ. (Titus 3:3)

We can either choose to be intimidated by those lists, or we can realize there is no earthly way we can live according to these biblical standards except through the amazing and transforming grace of God.

Ask the Lord to help you depend on Him, and walk in the Spirit daily.

The Lord can help you practice these one anothers more and more as you trust Him and obey.

Which of these "one anothers" is hardest for you to practice? Why? What is the truth of scripture that can encourage you to change?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God and Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for Revive Our Hearts and a writer at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in Southern California and have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of coffeebeanworks at Pixabay.

Make Loving 'Investments' in Your Spouse

An article by R.C. Sproul, Jr. awakened Dawn Wilson to how much she was taking her husband's presence for granted.

In a poignant post, Sproul wrote of his sorrow after his wife's illness, homegoing and absence.

"I wish I had held her hand more." he said. "That is likely my deepest regret, that I did not hold her hand more."

It's not that Sproul—a brilliant man who is rector and philosophy/theology chairman at Reformation Bible College—never held his wife's hand. But it is likely, he said, "that I didn't as often as she would have liked."

Holding a partner's hand communicates, "in a simple yet profound way," connection. In Christian marriage, it is the "one flesh" connection.

"It would have, even in the midst of a disagreement, or moments of struggle, communicated, 'We're going to go through this together. I will not let go,' he said."

Sproul explained other symbolism inherent in the held hand:  friendship, the leadership/follower pattern, marital love.

"Hand holding is a way to say both, 'You are safe with me' and 'Follow me into the adventure,'" he said.

Sproul concluded:

Holding hands costs nothing "and bears dividends."

Dividends! We need to take seriously this concept of "investing" in our spouse. Just as we invest financially and watch our bank account grow, we can invest in a spouse and watch our marriage grow!

I started thinking about the simple, everyday things a couple might do that communicates connection, friendship, biblical roles and deep love.

Some are simple courtesies that we do for others - why not our spouse?

Some suggestions:

• For the guys, Be a gentleman - like when a man pulls back and scoots in a chair, holds a door for his wife, or comes to her side of the car to help her out.
• For the gals, Be a lady - like when a woman asks for help (especially when it's something her husband would find joy in doing), or allows her man to BE the man of the house.
• Listen without a wandering mind or trying to think of the next thing we will say.
• Praise our spouse in private ... and in public.
• Squash criticism and a judgmental spirit.
• Express gratitude for what our spouse does for us (financially, emotionally, spiritually, etc.)
• Encourage growth. Allow for failures and lessons learned along the way.
• Support dreams. Be ready for a new life "adventure." Don't immediately pour cold water on our partner's ideas—draw them out. Help our spouse think through the pros and cons.
• Meet a practical need: doing laundry; making a healthy-but-yummy smoothie for our partner; dusting their office;  fixing something that's broken (that our partner uses and needs); preparing mentally, emotionally and physically for sex, etc.

The Bible gives us many "one anothers" we're to practice in the body of Christ. They certainly could be practiced in our marriages as well.

Simple things like: Love one another (John 13:34), Forgive one another (Colossians 3:13), Serve one another (Galatians 5:13), Encourage one another (Hebrews 10:25).

A widow expressed regrets for all the things she didn't do for her spouse during their marriage. Although I told her, "No marriage is perfect. He knew you loved him," she would not be consoled.

It made me think:

What might I regret if my life partner died today?

It's not too late to change those things—to do those things—that might make a huge difference in our relationships.

It might be as simple as holding hands.

Can you think of something simple to enhance your marriage today—a way to "invest" in your partner and ultimately, your marriage? 

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Ministries, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the President of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in MInistry (NEWIM San Diego). Dawn is the co-author of LOL with God and contributed "The Blessing Basket" in It's a God Thing. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic, adapted, Image courtesy of luigi diamanti at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.