Goals to Redeem Regret in 2020

When I think of pure lovers of the Word of God, the name Cathy Horning always comes to my mind. She approaches the scriptures with an honest heart, and then vulnerably shares what God is teaching her. In this New Year's UPGRADE, Cathy looks back over the year and talks about a word no one likes: "REGRET."

"As 2019 comes to a close, I have a great regret," she says. "Yet as we welcome 2020, it is a regret I intend to redeem.

"My regret is a latent skill which has gnawed at my heart for decades, one I have ignored, neglected, and excused away the older I have grown."

I (Dawn) so identify with this. I have some regrets too. Some, I can't do anything to change now, but Cathy has inspired me to redeem the ones I can.

Cathy continues . . .

This regret surfaced only two weeks ago, after I traveled across the border into Mexico to share my testimony with a precious group of women who are stepping out of poverty and brokenness.

Thankfully, I was blessed with a wonderful interpreter. The Lord was very present, and at work to speak hope and encouragement for their futures. 

When I returned home, however, I was convicted that I had neglected to attend to the beautiful Spanish language which I studied in high school and college. You see, for the past forty years, I rationalized that I did not need this skill in my everyday life.

Memories came of how Señor Reyes, my high school Spanish teacher, instilled in me a love and a passion for his native language—as well as what a stickler he was for proper pronunciation.

Living in Arizona, it only made sense to continue learning this second language in college. Sadly though, once I married and had children, I rarely gave it a another thought.

Over the years, I mostly ignored the gnawing within me to refresh and invest in Spanish. Occasionally, I would listen to a Spanish Bible on CD or a pick up a workbook, always with the best intentions. But, because of a full and busy life, it never lasted.

Eventually, my Spanish was laid aside once again.

I justified, when would I ever use my rusty, latent skill anyway?

I never imagined, at the ripe age of 60, I would be invited to cross the border from my California home and speak to a beautiful group of women who primarily spoke Spanish.

But, GOD KNEW!

And, although I was provided an excellent interpreter to help share my message, I was unable to talk personally to the women, and their precious children. I knew the basics, and although a few were bilingual, I regretted I had not maintained and invested in my Spanish, so that I could speak and listen to each one of them.

The conviction of my neglected skill, and the assurance that I will be invited back to Mexico, has inspired this grandma to dust off and work on relearning her valuable Spanish speaking skills.

I realize I may never be accomplished enough to speak a whole message without the aid of an interpreter, but as I step into the new year, I plan to redeem the regret I have, simply because I did not continue to invest in and keep sharp my Spanish language skills.

FIRST, I intend to follow the example of my mentor and role model, my daughter, who faithfully and diligently continues to practice her skill of the French language every day. Only, I will practice Spanish.

SECOND, I will use the same phone app she uses, an alarm set and all, which helps her to keep on track and be accountable to practice daily.

THIRD, I will follow my daughter’s discipline to read and listen to books and music in the Spanish language that I now know I need to re-learn.

FINALLY, like my daughter, I will keep this skill fresh and as sharp as I am able, for circumstances in the present, as well as for opportunities in the future.

Paul and Peter each admonish us in their letters:

"Do not neglect the gift that is in you..." (I Timothy 4:14 NKJV).

"Each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God" (1 Peter 4:10 NKJV)

Dear reader, as we enter a new year and a new decade, is there a stirring in your heart to learn or invest in a latent talent or skill? Perhaps, music, art, a language, a craft, hobby or other skill or interest? Is there a longing that lingers, one that never really goes away?

Could it be God’s whisper for eternal and kingdom purposes which He has created you for?

Cathy Horning has been a women’s ministry leader, Bible Study teacher, speaker and writer for almost three decades. She loves the Word of God. Nothing brings her greater joy than encouraging women how to walk in God's ways. Cathy is a popular speaker, blogger and writer, as well as a beloved wife to her husband of 37 years, mom to four, grammy to 13, and spiritual mom to many. She is the author of Letters from a Mother's Heart—Timeless Truths from One Mom's Journey. Read more here at her website.

Graphic adapted. Feather duster from Feather Duster Depot.

How to Kick Regret to the Curb

Counselor and Bible teacher Debbie W. Wilson encourages women to cultivate vital faith, and in this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she advises us to deal with mistakes biblically and "kick regret to the curb"!

Debbie asks: "Why would Eve trade paradise for the knowledge of good and evil? Why do I swap peace for worry?"

I (Dawn) can't count the times I've allowed worry to control my life. When I make a simple mistake, I let the enemy play with my emotions until I'm a total mess. But God's Word has solutions for that problem, and Debbie shares a powerful truth.

Debbie continues . . .

Eve and I share a common problem. We've both allowed the desire for knowledge to rob us.

Choosing fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil made her miserable. My desire for the knowledge of good, better, and best has stolen my joy.

Maybe you can relate.

I bought a neutral-colored jacket I thought would go with everything. But after I brought it home, I couldn’t find anything I wanted to wear with it. The time to return it ran out before I realized my purchase wasn’t as smart as I’d thought.

“If only I’d thought it through better,” I moaned.

That’s when the Eve analogy struck me. The serpent told Eve that if she ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, she would be like God (Gen. 3:5).

• Was my “If only I’d known,” an echo of Eve’s obsession with the tree of knowledge?
  
  
• Was I trying to be like God—all-knowing?
  
  
• Is my desire "to know" a way to replace my need for God?

Have you let decisions you’d like to do over with the knowledge you’ve gained from time and experience steal your peace?

Even though God’s Word and Spirit guide us, we still learn as we go.

Even young Jesus “grew in knowledge.”

Where did I get the idea errors are catastrophes? I've felt worse over a mistake than over sin.

I knew God forgives sin, but I felt I had to pay for my mistakes.

Here’s some grace and help to avoid or handle REGRET.

1. BEFORE a decision, ask God to lead you.

That may mean asking Him to help us want His will. God’s will is always perfect. Ours is shortsighted and inconsistent.

I practiced this during a visit to Chicago. A pair of boots captivated me. They were a timeless style, fit like a glove, and gorgeous. It was snowing outside (I needed them). I peeked at the price. Gasp!

The store held my size to give me time to decide. A battle between why they made sense and why I was CRAZY to think about them ping-ponged through my mind. The next morning I asked God to guide me.

I opened my Bible and read out loud. “Spare no expense!” (Is. 54:2 NLT).

Ginny and I laughed out loud. “Mom, you turned there on purpose.”

I hadn't, but it assured me God would lead me.

When I tried the boots again, they rubbed my heels. I walked away without feeling deprived.

2. BEFORE and AFTER a decision, exercise thanksgiving.

God causes “all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28 NASB).

Even when a decision doesn’t turn out like we’d hoped, we thank Him that He will use it for our good.

Maybe my jacket is meant for someone else or for another season. Perhaps it’s a reminder God’s bigger than my shortcomings.

3. LIGHTEN UP!

God created us to need Him.  

Joy comes from experiencing Jesus, not from avoiding mistakes.

There were two trees in the center of Eden. Satan diverted Eve away from the tree of life to the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Jesus is “the life” (John 14:6). Let's not let a decision draw us away from Him.

Before we left Chicago a pair of ankle boots grabbed my attention. Cute, comfortable, and affordable!

What pending or past decision wants to steal your peace?

Debbie W. Wilson, drawing from her personal walk with Christ, twenty-four years as a Christian counselor, and decades as a Bible teacher, speaks and writes to help others discover relevant faith. She is the author of Little Women, Big God and Give Yourself a Break. She and her husband, Larry, founded Lighthouse Ministries in 1991. Share her journey to refreshing faith at debbieWwilson.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of kconnors-Morguefile.