Focus in the New Year

Morgan Farr, who ministers with a group for military women and wives, is an inspirational and Word-driven woman of God. A great deal of her ministry revolves around being intentional. In this New Year's UPGRADE, she encourages us as we look forward to what the Lord might do in our lives in 2023.

"Nearly 80% of New Year Resolutions," Morgan says, "are abandoned by February!"

Oh, I (Dawn) believe that! Like Morgan, I have tweaked the whole concept of resolutions into something more manageable and, I think, God-honoring.

Morgan continues . . .

I learned long ago that goals and resolutions didn’t work for me.

I start strong, but then life happens, and I get frustrated.

Instead, I make a simple focal point for the year. To make that happen, I choose a word and a verse to go with it. I use that word and Bible verse to help me make choices throughout the year and decide where to focus my resources.

This is what that has looked like, practically, in the last seven years:

2016—Focus

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" (2 Corinthians 3:18 ESV).

2017—Prepare

“But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect" (1 Peter 3:15 ESV).

2018—Tenderness

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Colossians 4:6 ESV).

2019—Forgiveness

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 ESV).

2020—Boundaries

“I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it” (Psalms 101:3 ESV).

2021—Reclaim

“See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ” (Colossians 2:8 ESV).

2022—Emerge

“Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him,  rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving” (Colossians 2:6-7 ESV).

I can look back at my words and see what God was teaching me at that time.

In 2018, I had three kids, three years old and under. My husband is active duty military, so I was often solo parenting and overwhelmed. Tenderness and loving my kids well was a big goal that year.

In 2022, I was working on stepping out in faith in new ministry positions. I can confidently say that I emerged in 2022.

F - O - C - U - S

I challenge you to make a focal point for 2023 by using the acronym FOCUS.

1. Find the Issue

Play detective. Where are you struggling? What are you working towards or moving away from? What are your personal needs in the coming year? What are the needs of your family?

2. Own Your Word

Narrow down the list to what you can focus on. Instead of sticking with a word like “blessed” or “love” go to thesaurus.com and look at some of the incredible words that might help you narrow down your topic a little better. Some words are richer than others.

3. Claim Your Verse

If you already have a verse in mind based off of your word, use it!

If not, I like to use BlueLetterBible.org to search for the word or its synonyms.

4. Use Creativity

Get your verse and your word on the walls in your home. Stick it up on the mirror in your bathroom. Put it on an index card in your car. You can do this as big or as small as you like, but you are 42% more likely to achieve your goal if you write it down.

5. Start the Work

Now that you have your word and your verse it is time to live it out. As you make choices in the year and as you interact with loved ones check back on your word and verse often.

If you type “New Year Goals” into google, you'll get a shocking 5,170,000,000 results.

I have set a great many goals and resolutions over the years. Almost all of them were forgotten by spring.

The goal of a focal point is that:

• It is self-driven.
• It is small and manageable.
• It is created by your personal walk with the Lord.

What will your focal point be this year?

Morgan Farr, an Army wife, is a succulent-cultivating, book nerd and aspiring author. Morgan homeschools her four young children and trains her working dogs while leaning heavily on Jesus. Morgan is the Director of Publishing at Planting Roots, a ministry for military women and wives. You can connect with Morgan on all major social media channels using her handle: morgandfarr.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Simon/USA Reiseblogger at Pixabay.

Are You Struggling with Your New Year Goals?

Counselor Kate Hagen encourages women in a number of topics, including faith, parenting and grief. In this Goals UPGRADE, she encourages women to ask three golden questions to overcome struggles regarding their goals.

"Did you make goals for 2020 that you’re struggling to keep? If so," Kate says, "you're in good company! I have been there.

"But, I've learned some really helpful questions to make goals I will be more likely to reach."

I (Dawn) didn't make any New Year's goals this year, but Kate's ideas would have helped, if I had!

Kate continues . . .

Here are three simple ways to improve your chances of reaching your goals.

1. Make Positive Goals.

Often we focus on what we don’t want.

As I was thinking about my desires for 2020, I knew what I didn’t want. I knew I didn’t want to see people as a means to an end—whether that be in business, or just to get their friendship and approval.

So, I asked myself THE GOLDEN QUESTION:

What do I want to experience I’m not currently experiencing? 

I sat with this, and then it came as clear as day. I want to be sincere in everything I do. 

"Love must be sincere…" (Romans 12:9).

Now I had a positive goal: live with sincerity.

Do you see how it switched from the negative—I don't want to see people as a means to an end—to the positive: I want to live with sincerity?

2. Make Measurable and Observable Goals.

I had my positive goal, yet:

• How would I know if I was living with sincerity?
• What does a sincere life look like to me?
• What does it feel like?
• What will I be saying and doing that I’m not right now? 

THE GOLDEN QUESTION:  

If I had a video of what I would be doing two months from now, if I felt more sincere, what would I see myself doing?

Since my 2020 goal is a character trait instead of an action, this was an important step for me. I had to get quiet with my journal before God and answer these questions. 

• A sincere Kate would feel free and honest.
• I would be saying only what is true to me (being silent when appropriate), and not saying what I think the other person wants to hear. (I would choose to let people be disappointed in me, if it meant I was honest.)
• The "video" of a sincere Kate would show me honestly speaking up with a desire to give love instead of get love and approval. 

Now that I had a positive, measurable and observable goal, I needed to break it down. 

3. Set Micro-goals that Move You Forward.

These must be simple and doable. 

"The plans of the diligent lead to profit, as surely as haste leads to poverty...." (Proverbs 21:5).

THE GOLDEN QUESTION:

What’s the next right thing?

Have you heard of the concept of the 3-foot toss? Here is the idea.

In basketball, if you want to make a basket, it’s nearly impossible for the average person to score from half-court. Of course, if you did, it would feel amazing. But, most likely you will miss the points if you try.

This is how we often view our options. We have a goal and we try to make it happen from half-court. But, that’s usually not possible. 

What if we went for a 3-foot toss instead?

What if we stood at half court, yet there were multiple baskets every 3 feet until the final goal? We could try for the glory of a far shot, or we could take that easier—yet still forward progressing—3-foot toss.

So, for me, in my goal to be sincere, I have a 3-foot toss to make today. What’s my next right thing?

I won’t be sincere every moment of every day. But, I can make small progress.

I can ask God to help me be sincere as I write this post. My next 3-foot toss can be to choose to speak sincerely in the business phone call I have later today. And so on. 

In a 2011 Harvard Business Review article, researchers reported finding that “ordinary, incremental progress can increase people’s engagement in the work and their happiness during the workday.” 

In the NY Times, Tim Herrera wrote, "For any task you have to complete, break it down into the smallest possible units of progress and attack them one at a time... break down the very first steps you have to take and keep slicing them up into tiny, easily achievable micro-goals, then celebrate each achievement." 

Celebrate each achievement!

I love the reminder to make sure to celebrate each micro-goal you reach! So, when I’m done writing this post, I will celebrate!

Taking your positive goal, breaking it down into smaller measurable goals, then getting practical with micro-goals IS going to get you closer to reaching your goal.

It's almost guaranteed. 

How have your New Year goals been going so far? Does this inspire you to change them in any way?

Kate Hagen has a Master’s Degree in Biblical Counseling and has written, spoken and counseled women about mothering, faith and grief.  She enjoys creating a safe space for women at the day retreats she co-hosts. At her website, you can find upcoming retreats, schedule a coaching session and read her writing about parenting, grieving and sincere faith.

Busy, Busy

Insightful and practical, Susan K. Stewart challenges women to consider what they're doing in light of God's Word. In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she asks us to consider the busyness in our lives, and if there might be a better approach to goals.

"By the end of 2016, I was tired," Susan says. "I accomplished many of my goals. I had a stack of check-offed to-do list. I had been busy. Why did I feel as those I hadn’t accomplished anything?"

Oh, I (Dawn) know a lot about checked off lists. I've lived by them since I was a child. But Susan makes me think—is there a better way?

Susan continues . . .

I had accomplished a lot that year:

• published an award-winning book,
• spoke at national conferences,
• taught classes online,
• and many other achievements, which say "success".

I met my goals for the year.

That’s was the problem. I had met my goals.

Each year we are bombarded with resolutions, goals, and focus words. We are encouraged to plan out our year for success.

Midway through the year, just as we begin to think we’ve failed, more articles and podcasts land in our email boxes telling us how to pick up the goals we haven’t finished and move forward.

Even Christian material tells us how to make plans and we can accomplish them. It might be a three-step list or a twelve-step program. The point is, “make a plan and work the plan.”

This can seem like a circle of life—no, more like a race track of life with no finish line.

I needed not just a pit stop; I needed off the track.

Here are some of the ways I’ve conquered the busyness.

1. Don’t buy a planner.

If you already have one, put it at the bottom of the bottom drawer.

We can become slaves to the lists and boxes. It can steal our joy in what we do.

I choose to have a plain calendar. Once a box is full, I don’t schedule anything thing else for that day.

2. Nix the goals and resolutions.

Instead, determine your priorities for the year. And it’s fine if you have the same priorities each year.

Some people tell me priorities are the same as goals. I don’t think so.

The month of July, my priority is my granddaughter’s visit. It’s not a goal; she comes every year. Those tasks take second chair to my priority.

3. Limit the number of items on a to-do list.

I have sticky pad to-do lists. It has space for four items. That’s truly manageable, there’s no space to keep adding on.

I don’t take the top sheet off until I’ve completed the tasks on it. I do add items to the next pages, but I don’t see them until I get there.

Long term projects get their own four-item to-do lists, which I pull out only when I’m working on that project.

Without a long to-do list I don’t feel overwhelmed, and I have a sense of accomplishment with each sticky note I pull off.

These are some tangible ideas how to not be bogged down in the endless cycle of resolutions, goals, and failure. They help me keep perspective on my day and my life. I feel more in control.

But this list in not the real answer.

Henry David Thoreau said, "It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?"

I answer this question each time I get bogged down in accomplishments, when I think I should be doing more, when I’m tired of being busy. Yes, it happens even with the above steps.

Jesus was busy about doing good and His Father’s will.

• Yes, He got tired.
• Yes, He needed to draw away from the daily tasks to rest.
• Yes, He needed to spend time with God the Father.

We are told by Jeremiah God has a plan for us, a plan for good.

God's plan doesn’t require to-do lists and goals, and it doesn’t leave us exhausted.

God’s plan also has hope and future. What more do we need? (Jeremiah 29:11)

The reason 2016 was so exhausting and lacked fulfillment is I was working from MY goals and plans. I was busy about busy work, instead of doing good and God’s will.

For those of us who need a final step, it is this:

4. Seek His kingdom first (Matthew. 6:33), and make it your priority.

God will add what you need to your to-do list.

Which of these action steps could help you get off the busy-busy treadmill right now? What can you do to seek the Lord and do more of His will?

Susan K. Stewart teaches, writes, and edits non-fiction. She is known for practical solutions to real-world situations. Susan is senior nonfiction editor with Elk Lake Publishing, blog content manager for Mount Hermon Writers Conference blog, and has published five books. Susan lives in Central Texas with her husband, Bob, three dogs, three cats, nine chickens, and two donkeys. Discover more about Susan's ministry at www.practicalinspirations.com.

Are Resolutions a Good Idea?

Author and speaker Kathy Collard Miller is one smart lady. I've grown to trust her insights. In this UPGRADE for the New Year, she asks us to get real about resolutions.

Kathy asks, "Did you make a resolution but you’ve already forgotten it, flubbed it up or forsaken it? It’s hard to believe a resolution won’t succeed, right?"

I (Dawn) want to say, "Don't go there!" I've blown more resolutions in decades of living than I care to remember. I wish I'd known a wiser perspective.

Kathy continues. . .

Although it’s against common beliefs that resolutions might not be the best idea, they often don’t succeed because of three reasons.

Let’s see what will work instead.

1. Resolutions are often “all or nothing.”

Haven’t we all resolved to:

• “...study the Bible every day”?
• “...never get angry at my children again”?
• “...always be content in everything”?

Do you see those “absolute" words: every, never, always? Who can do that? Only Jesus and we aren’t Him!

How about if we become realistic with our desires?

• “I’m going to study the Bible three times this week for five minutes each?”
• “I”m going to examine when I become angry most often and ask my friend to pray for me at one of those times.”
• “I’m going to choose one area of discontent and surrender to God in that area today.”

Those are reachable, but even if we don’t reach them—

God’s unlimited second chances called “mercy” are always available to re-boot our plans.

2. Resolutions are often beyond our personal resources.

If we are using a huge resolution to try to force change within us, it’s usually beyond our level of maturity or trust in God. Who hasn’t wanted to trust God in every situation?

When I’m thinking that way, I love to be reminded of Jesus’ compassion for the father who replied, “I do believe; help my unbelief” (Mark 9:24 ESV). Jesus healed his son anyway.

God knows the next step for our growth and He’s not impatient with our progress.

3. Resolutions are often beyond our control.

Did you know there’s a difference between desires and goals?

Desires are what we would like but we may not be able to reach them because someone else has to cooperate. You may desire to have a spectacular marriage but guess who else has to have that desire—and take action? Right!

There’s nothing wrong with the desire. The problem is thinking we can force it to happen ourselves.

Different from desires, goals are attainable and within your control. A goal regarding your marriage might be, “I will think of something positive I like about my spouse three times (or five—whatever is a reasonable number) this week.”

Can you do that regardless of your spouse’s involvement? Yes. And it may have an impact on your marriage towards making it spectacular.

These three perspectives can be drawn from First Timothy 4:15:

“Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress” (ESV).

The word “progress” is the idea of “a pioneer cutting his way through the wilderness” (Vine’s Biblical Dictionary). Guess how a pioneer does that? One step at a time with a machete or axe. Not one fell swoop with a mile long sword.

If God had intended for us to have instant, complete, “all or nothing,” perfectly-fulfilled “resolutions,” He wouldn’t have used the word “PROGRESS.”

He would have inspired Paul to write “perfection.” Plus, He says, “practice these things.”

That takes time and involves seeking the power of the Holy Spirit moment by moment.

So how are your resolutions going? Great? I hope so. But if not, don’t be discouraged. How can you consider revising them to be more reasonable, attainable, and realistic?

Kathy Collard Miller is a popular speaker and award-winning author of over 50 books. Her most recent book is Choices of the Heart in the Daughters of the King Bible Study Series. Kathy has spoken in over 30 US states and eight foreign countries. Find out more about Kathy at her website.

Resolutions, Goals and a Bucket List

Ready for the New Year? I always appreciate those who help us forget those things that are behind and push forward to greater things. Marcia Ramsland is one of those people, and I asked her to share this special New Year's UPGRADE.

"January 1 is the day to write a resolution or two," Marcia says. "If you’re not living the life you love or at least enjoying each day, then perhaps it’s because you don’t know what you want, you know what it is but haven’t worked to get it, or you’ve let life get in your way."

Last year, I [Dawn] picked a special word that motivated me all year long, but I have to admit, my office fell apart last year. Picking one motivating word has nothing to do with organizing your life (unless, perhaps, the word is "organization!") So I'm looking for tips from people like Marcia to help me get back on track!

Marcia continues . . .

Here are three ways to change that while you are poised at the beginning of the new year. Pick One Style for a New Year, New You!

1. A Resolution

A New Year's resolution is a January 1 personal commitment for the coming year to change a habit or lifestyle for the better, such as the two most popular ones, to lose weight and get organized!

2. A Goal

A goal is a dream with a plan attached, and is best achieved if there is a positive emotional response to its success, such as moving to a warm climate, redecorating at home, or doubling your income. Jot them on your new monthly calendar.

3. A Bucket List

A Bucket List is a wish list of things you’d like to do in your lifetime that captures your imagination–such as climbing Mt. Everest, running a marathon or writing a book. Fill your bucket list with 5-10 things you’ve only dreamed about.

What would it take for a “New Year, New You” lifestyle makeover?

Here is a list of 15 ideas to stimulate your thinking. Write your own list of eight to ten goals you would like to have or do in the coming new year. Think big!

• Prioritize my life and say “no” with confidence.
• Find a regular exercise program I like.
• Eat healthier every meal.
• Get to bed by 10:30 p.m.
• Reorganize and upgrade my office.
• Create a budget and save for my dream car.
• Plan one enjoyable activity per 52 weekends.
• Trade childcare for more personal time.
• Get together monthly with a good friend.
• Become team manager for your son’s sports team.
• Go on my bucket list dream vacation.
• Call parents/grandparents once a week.
• Send out birthday cards (or birthday emails) on time.
• Join a new business group.
• Wrap up leadership responsibility in current organization.
• Complete a degree over the next three years.

I know this setting goals works for two reasons:

1) Proverbs 13:4 says, “The sluggard (sluggish) craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.”

Practically, that means if we steadily work toward a goal, we will get there. Also, if we just set the goal, we won’t get there.

2) I coach women via Face Time, email, and photos to achieve anything from writing a book, or organizing their paperwork, closet, garage or office–in 30 days or less! Things they never thought they could do!

When they know I do three-month, six-month, and one-year checkups, they achieve their new, organized lifestyle–and maintain it. It works and you can see the “Before and After” photos yourself here. 

What works best for you: resolutions, goals, a bucket list or something else? What motivates you?

NOTE: This post is an adapted excerpt from Marcia's book, Simplify Your Holiday Season.

Marcia Ramsland is well known as the "Organizing Pro,” a national speaker, and author of over 100,000 books sold in her Simplify Your Life series. Marcia personally coaches individuals and organizations to be highly productive in managing their time, space, and life. Hundreds of clients and audiences from New York to California agree with her belief that anyone can become more organized - even YOU! Contact her at http://www.OrganizingPro.com.

New Year Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of noppasinw at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.