Don't. Look. Back.

Susan Stewart writes practical, often humorous encouragement to the family of God, written from a biblical perspective. In this New Year's UPGRADE, she says we need a God-focused, forward point of view in the new year.

"Many of us experienced drought conditions in 2022. Central Texas was no different," Susan says.

"We knew the situation was worsening when coyotes began moving closer to the ranches. During that time, our hen Louise learned the perils of a coyote on her tail . . . literally." (Louise is the black hen, pictured above.)

I (Dawn) don't like it when wildlife moves closer to homes. I live in a part of California where coyotes get too close for our comfort. I'm glad I don't have chickens to protect! I love it that Susan created this teachable moment.

Susan continues . . .

Louise and her pal Thelma didn’t like to stay in the yard with the other chickens. They were ever stretching their boundaries.

One hot afternoon, I heard a chicken warning squabble. I looked out to see Louise running as fast as her legs could take her with a coyote right behind her. Apparently, she forgot she fly back into the safety of the yard.

Once the hungry predator heard our dogs, it turned from Louise and darted into the trees.

I noticed it didn’t have a chicken in its mouth. I found a pile of feathers at the back of the house, but no Louise.

She returned to the coop in the evening, as chickens will do.

Louise returned without tail feathers.

How did this feisty hen managed to outrun the wiley coyote? She followed the advice of track coaches everywhere: “Don’t look back.”

Each time a runner turns her head to see where the competition is, she slows her pace. Louise just kept looking and running forward for a way of escape.

For our family, and maybe yours, the year 2022 was a “terrible, horrible, no-good, bad” year.

The coyote was behind us.

Even though 2023 has just begun, it’s easy to look over our shoulder to see what happened in the past and not move forward. We can get stuck watching for another attack.

But like Louise, we mustn’t look back at the pursuing enemy.

I’ve adopted the words “Don’t. Look. Back.” as my theme this year. I’ve made it my goal not to relive the terrible,the horrible, the no-good, the bad. 

God has given us three ways to look forward.

1. Put our hand to the plow.

When 2022 began, we had no idea it would be a forgettable year. I don’t know about 2023.

Jesus tells us we're to plow forward without looking back (Luke 9:62).

There it is in God’s word—Don’t. Look. Back.

2. Look to Jesus.

No matter the circumstances, our focal point is Jesus. Why? He is the founder and perfector of our faith; he gives us joy (Hebrews 12:2).

As we look to Jesus, as the old hymn says, “things of earth grow strangely dim.”

3. Understand God’s plan.

No matter what has happened in the past, God has established plans for our good to give us a future with hope (Jeremiah 29:11).

We can look forward with our eye on Jesus—to God’s good even in the “terrible, horrible, no-good, bad” circumstances.

Oh, how is Louise doing?

Her tail feathers have grown back, and she still leaves the safe enclosure of the yard now and then. Sadly, her friend Thelma didn’t return from one of her trips to the “wild.”

I think Louise learned a lesson from the coyote encounter.

I also learned from my encounter with the “coyote” year.

God is our safe enclosure—if we only look to Him.

Did you have a “terrible, horrible, no-good, bad” experience? How has looking to Jesus without looking back carried you through?

Susan K. Stewart is Managing Editor with Elk Lake Publishing. When she’s not tending chickens, peacocks, and donkeys, Susan teaches, writes, and edits non-fiction. Her passion is to inspire readers with practical, real-world solutions. Her books include Science in the Kitchen, Preschool: At What Cost?, Harried Homeschoolers Handbook, and the award-winning Formatting e-Books for Writers. Susan's latest book, Donkey Devos: Listening When God Speaks, is a devotional based on life with her donkeys. You can learn more about Susan at her website www.susankstewart.com.

Focus in the New Year

Morgan Farr, who ministers with a group for military women and wives, is an inspirational and Word-driven woman of God. A great deal of her ministry revolves around being intentional. In this New Year's UPGRADE, she encourages us as we look forward to what the Lord might do in our lives in 2023.

"Nearly 80% of New Year Resolutions," Morgan says, "are abandoned by February!"

Oh, I (Dawn) believe that! Like Morgan, I have tweaked the whole concept of resolutions into something more manageable and, I think, God-honoring.

Morgan continues . . .

I learned long ago that goals and resolutions didn’t work for me.

I start strong, but then life happens, and I get frustrated.

Instead, I make a simple focal point for the year. To make that happen, I choose a word and a verse to go with it. I use that word and Bible verse to help me make choices throughout the year and decide where to focus my resources.

This is what that has looked like, practically, in the last seven years:

2016—Focus

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" (2 Corinthians 3:18 ESV).

2017—Prepare

“But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect" (1 Peter 3:15 ESV).

2018—Tenderness

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Colossians 4:6 ESV).

2019—Forgiveness

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 ESV).

2020—Boundaries

“I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it” (Psalms 101:3 ESV).

2021—Reclaim

“See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ” (Colossians 2:8 ESV).

2022—Emerge

“Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him,  rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving” (Colossians 2:6-7 ESV).

I can look back at my words and see what God was teaching me at that time.

In 2018, I had three kids, three years old and under. My husband is active duty military, so I was often solo parenting and overwhelmed. Tenderness and loving my kids well was a big goal that year.

In 2022, I was working on stepping out in faith in new ministry positions. I can confidently say that I emerged in 2022.

F - O - C - U - S

I challenge you to make a focal point for 2023 by using the acronym FOCUS.

1. Find the Issue

Play detective. Where are you struggling? What are you working towards or moving away from? What are your personal needs in the coming year? What are the needs of your family?

2. Own Your Word

Narrow down the list to what you can focus on. Instead of sticking with a word like “blessed” or “love” go to thesaurus.com and look at some of the incredible words that might help you narrow down your topic a little better. Some words are richer than others.

3. Claim Your Verse

If you already have a verse in mind based off of your word, use it!

If not, I like to use BlueLetterBible.org to search for the word or its synonyms.

4. Use Creativity

Get your verse and your word on the walls in your home. Stick it up on the mirror in your bathroom. Put it on an index card in your car. You can do this as big or as small as you like, but you are 42% more likely to achieve your goal if you write it down.

5. Start the Work

Now that you have your word and your verse it is time to live it out. As you make choices in the year and as you interact with loved ones check back on your word and verse often.

If you type “New Year Goals” into google, you'll get a shocking 5,170,000,000 results.

I have set a great many goals and resolutions over the years. Almost all of them were forgotten by spring.

The goal of a focal point is that:

• It is self-driven.
• It is small and manageable.
• It is created by your personal walk with the Lord.

What will your focal point be this year?

Morgan Farr, an Army wife, is a succulent-cultivating, book nerd and aspiring author. Morgan homeschools her four young children and trains her working dogs while leaning heavily on Jesus. Morgan is the Director of Publishing at Planting Roots, a ministry for military women and wives. You can connect with Morgan on all major social media channels using her handle: morgandfarr.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Simon/USA Reiseblogger at Pixabay.

'Wait-Lifting' for the New Year

Kathy Carlton Willis, God's Grin Gal, always encourages readers to see life through a biblical perspective and not lose their joy in life. In this New Year's UPGRADE, she addresses the topic of patience—when and how to cultivate it.

“We often comment on how good or bad our waiter is at a restaurant, but I’m not earning any good waiter awards these days when it comes to waiting on life stuff,” Kathy says.

Waiting is hard for me (Dawn) too. Patience is definitely a character trait I need to cultivate! Kathy has wise, helpful counsel for all of us.

Kathy continues . . .

Probably the hardest thing for me, and most of you, is the trial of hurry up and wait. Left unchecked, it tests my patience, challenges my contentment, and sours my joy.

If you are in a season not of your own choosing, you might find yourself wishing for something different or more.

Answers or solutions.

In this era of supply chain shortages, there are much more serious shortages going on.

When it comes to waiting, a lack of patience will practically do us in.

Sometimes, we need the delay for God to prepare us for the answer He is customizing for His purpose to come true in our lives.

Our job when we sense silence on the other end of our prayers is simple.

Wait.

And in the wait, we trust.

And in the trust, we grow patience.

And when patience has grown up, it becomes endurance.

Then we’re ready to run the faith marathon designed with us in mind.

Isn’t it curious that the very thing that causes us to feel impatient is an example of God’s patience? We think He’s being quiet, or even absent from our lives because of our situation. The opposite is true—He is forever present with us.

Having God with us is more important than having—well, anything!

When we have that, the weight of the wait is lifted. (The best kind of “wait-lifting.”)

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (James 1:2–4 NLT)

Patience is only developed during the wait, never in the rush.

What happens when we wait impatiently? Whether we wait with patience or impatience, it takes just as long, but when we’re impatient, we’re miserable.

Let’s trade our impatience for a new coping skill to help reframe our outlook.

How to Develop Your Patience Muscle

Patience is never more needed and never less present than when we are dealing with a time-out or pause. It’s always best to develop patience ahead of time so that muscle memory shows up when you need it.

Here are some tips.

1. Galatians 5 lists patience as a fruit of the Holy Spirit.

That means it’s up to the Holy Spirit to act in patience through us, and it’s up to us to be yielded to the Spirit.

What does it mean to be yielded or surrendered to the Spirit? It involves us being willing to follow His lead instead of the selfish desires that contradict Scripture.

2. Don’t expect your circumstances to change.

Patience is pumped up just like working a muscle during weightlifting—when it is tested.

3. Know that all human beings struggle with impatience, and only a few learn to be patient during difficult times.

It’s easier to get frustrated than to have faith, and our go-to tends to be in crisis mode rather than choosing to be in Christ.

4. Patience needs to be stored up ahead of time for when you need it, and it gets depleted easily.

Being in God’s Word and talking with Him in the good times banks spiritual fruit for you to have available during the bad times.

5. If you find yourself lacking patience, look through God’s eyes of grace toward the situation or person frustrating you.

This will allow you to put up with much more.

6. Sometimes the person you need to have patience toward is yourself.

Reduce your unrealistic expectations. Allow more do-overs. Confess your flaws to God and ask Him to transform your life.

7. When you realize that your purpose in life is so much bigger than this current circumstance, your ability to be more patient will flourish.

Strive to look at the big picture—the kingdom picture.

8. Patience helps you trust God more.

Trusting God helps you build more patience. They go together. When you have something to hang your hope on, you can wait with patience for all the details to be worked out according to God’s purpose.

9. If you are a Christ follower, you are a temple of God, and conduit for the Spirit to flow through you.

Patience moves unhindered through open conduit but is restricted when that conduit is plugged with pride and self.

10. When you choose to be impatient, you willfully refuse God’s equipment to help you cope with your current situation.

Patience is an act of obedience—evidence of a yielded, Spirit-filled life.

11. Practicing patience is not the same thing as stagnating.

It doesn’t mean you are complacent or compromising. It means you are content in the wait but eager with hope for the next God-thing. It’s not passive.

Patience is active—acting on God’s Word to stand your ground until He moves you on.

12. Patience gives you time to grow a more intimate relationship with the Father.

What New Year’s goal will you set to strengthen your patience muscle?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Today’s Upgrade with Dawn is inspired by Kathy’s latest book, Your Life on Hold: Don’t Hate the Wait. Consider joining one of Kathy’s groups for 2023. More information at www.kathycarltonwillis.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Andrea Piacquadio at Pexels.

Financial First Aid for the New Year

Ellie Kay is one of the people I trust to always give wise financial counsel, and in this Financial UPGRADE, her "financial first aid" kit is a good place for everyone to begin if they want to prepare for a financially healthy future.

"If you want to set your family up for success in 2019, then you may want to create a financial first aid kit," Ellie says. "It’s a lot easier than you may think."

I (Dawn) know what Ellie says is true. My own financial advisor has wisely helped set up this "kit" for us, and it really eases my mind.

Ellie continues . . .

When our youngest son, Joshua, was born, we started saying, "If he had been our first, he would have been our last." That boy had more energy and could get into more scrapes than all our other children combined.

When he was 18 months old, he stripped down to his diaper, took a plastic sword, and chased his four older siblings around the house—thus earning the nickname, "Conan, the Baby Barbarian." By that age, he had also jumped off the top bunkbed (three stitches) and "flown" off our travel trailer (four stitches).

Joshua was the reason we purchased a serious first aid kit.

Just as every family needs a good first aid kit for those unexpected accidents, they also need a financial first aid kit, or practical ways to help safeguard their financial future.

1. An Emergency Savings Account

This account is not an investment account—it doesn’t include IRAs, retirement accounts or CDs. Its purpose is not growth, but safety.

These are funds that are accessed in the event of spouse unemployment, emergency home repairs, or unexpected auto repair bills.

The best way to build this account is to establish a family budget using an app such as mint, pocketguard or YNAB (meaning, You Need A Budget). I recommend automatically transferring funds from a paycheck or checking account into a savings account every week.

A good guideline is to save three months of living expenses for dual income households or six months for a single income family.

2. Life Insurance

This is an easy ingredient in your financial kit. You will need enough money so that your dependents could invest the money and live modestly on the proceeds.

Use a QUOTE COMPARISON site—it will not sell your info, it is confidential—instead of a LEAD GENERATION site (they will sell your info). You can try insurify, Policy Genius, or Nerdwallet.

3. A Will

Here’s another easy one—as easy as making an appointment with the JAG  (Judge Advocate) if you are military or your HR department to see if your company offers free legal service for wills.

The main section of this critical document will assign a guardian for your children.

In many states, the surviving spouse may only get one-third to one-half of the assets that were in your sole name. Your children get the rest and if they are minors, a court administrator could handle their money until they become adults.

Make sure the beneficiary designations on any 401(k) plans, IRAs, life insurance and bank accounts are also up to date. 

To find a free service for a will, just type “pro bono will” followed by your state’s name into an online search engine to see about programs that you might tap.

4. A Retirement Account

If your company offers a 401k, then you could be leaving money on the table by not taking advantage of the matching part of that vital retirement tool.

Set up an automatic withdrawal to fund this account or start a Roth IRA or Traditional IRA so that you can get started on tomorrow’s retirement today. As little as $50 a month will get you started and the earlier you begin this account the more you can take advantage of the miracle of compound interest.

A good place to being with as little as $500 in an investment account is with Emperor, who specializes in helping beginner investors. Be prepared to give your social security number and bank information on the secure site and enjoy the adventure of investing!

5. A Good Credit Rating

The best way to rebuild good FICO, or credit score, is found in three steps: 

• Pay more than your minimum payment (even if it’s only $5/month more).
• Pay a day early rather than a day late (set up automatic transfers from your checking account to your credit card company for minimum payments.)
• Pay attention to utilization and never let your available credit fall to less than 30% of the total credit available (for example, $2,000 on a $6,000 credit line.) 

Each year, get a free copy of your credit report by going to Annual Credit Report, or go into the base’s Family Support Center where they can also run a free copy of your report and check your score.

Do you have all these tools in a financial first aid kit? If not, get started soon to build the kit. Guard your financial health!

Ellie Kay is a best selling author of 15 books and a popular co-host of the Plutus Award finalist podcast that she hosts with her millennial daughter called The Money Millhouse. She is the mother of seven and a veteran speaker of 2,000 events. She’s the founder of Heroes at Home, a non-profit providing free financial education to military members. 

Graphic adapted, original courtesy of Gigabeto at Pixabay.

Making Good on Good Intentions

Grace Fox wrote nine books. She's well-acquainted with the discipline and perseverance it takes to buckle down and write. She also knows how easy it is to stop at "good intentions." In this New Year UPGRADE, she invites us to examine our new goals and consider how we can "make good" on them.

"You and I—and millions of other women—know it’s easy to begin a new year with good intentions," Grace says. "Following through on them is often a different story."

Following through. Yes, I (Dawn) identify with that. I can't tell you how many times my good intentions ended up being forgotten intentions. But I can choose to change; and so can you!

Grace continues . . .

A traumatic experience helped me understand the importance of making good on my good intentions.

January 11^th marks the sixth anniversary of my suffering leg injuries that left me wheelchair-bound for three months. Recovery required surgery, physiotherapy, and a lot of hard work on my part for two years.

I’m embarrassed to admit that my injuries were self-inflicted. As a writer, I sat at my desk for hours every day without getting up to stretch.

Granted, I woke each morning with good intentions. I promised myself that I’d take short exercise breaks, but soon my writing projects absorbed me and I’d think, I’ll take a walk later, after I finish what I’m doing.

Later never came, and I paid the price.

I’m grateful for the wakeup call. It forced me to admit something I knew all along—that good intentions alone won’t bring the benefits of good health.

Living long and strong for Jesus requires action on my part:

• use my gym membership,
• eat nutritious foods,
• track my food intake,
• practice portion control, and
• be accountable on a weekly basis to a small group of women walking a similar path.

The same principle holds true for other aspects of life.

Say, for instance, we want to build relationships with our neighbors this year. Our intentions are admirable, but they won’t build friendships unless we take time to talk over the fence, to listen, and to demonstrate kindness.

We may want to grow in our relationship with the Lord over the next twelve months. Our desire is commendable, but it won’t result in spiritual growth unless we create space to study His Word, engage in dialogue with Him, and obey His commands.

Perhaps we intend to become more effective intercessors. This might mean facing our fear of praying aloud in front of other people. We may have to grow willing to pause and to pray right then and there for someone who’s just expressed a concern.

The examples I listed are among my good intentions for this year. Perhaps you’re nodding in agreement because like me, you hope to become more proactive about your health, about relationships with your neighbors, about knowing God more intimately, and about praying for others.

Or maybe your list includes a plethora of totally different ideas. Regardless, here are several prayer-focused points to ponder as you think about your good intentions for 2019.

1. Ask God for FOCUS.

It’s easy to make a list of impressive intentions. Trouble is, sometimes our list is too long or lofty or misses the mark altogether.

Ask the question, “God, what are Your good intentions for me this year? Where do you want me to focus?”

Jeremiah 33:3 promises that He will answer—“Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wonderous things that you could never figure out on your own” (The Message).

2. Ask God for STRENGTH.

Following through on good intentions sometimes demands more emotional or physical strength than we can muster.

The good news is—God promises to strengthen us when we partner with Him to accomplish His purposes for our lives.

Psalm 18:29 has been especially meaningful to me as I continue my wellness journey—“In your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall.”

Sometimes following through on my intention to avoid unhealthy snacks is like fighting a battle, but God’s power at work within me gives me the strength to do the right thing. He’ll do the same for you.

3. Ask God for PERSEVERANCE.

We might think that making good on our good intentions will guarantee instant results.

For instance, extending kindness to a neighbor will automatically open the door to sharing the Gospel with her.

Unfortunately, sometimes our good intentions don’t yield the results we want, but that doesn’t mean we toss them aside. It means we learn to practice perseverance. We choose to hang in there for the long haul, trusting that God is at work even though we don’t see things happening.

Sometimes our good intentions are only the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. We might think we know what God wants to do in and through us but in reality, He’s doing something much deeper, and that takes time.

So, my friend—what’s one of your good intentions for 2019? What actions will you take to make good on it?

Grace Fox is a career missionary, international speaker, and author of nine books. Her latest release is Forever Changed, a Bible study published by First Place 4 Health. Discover more about her ministry here. Purchase her Bible study through First Place 4 Health.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Ben White at Unsplash.