Making Space

Kathy Carlton Willis is a highly-motivated woman with resilience and vision. She has come through many tough experiences and shares lessons from her heart. In this Priorities UPGRADE, she writes about making space for what matters.

“I learned how to make space for what’s important.” Kathy explained. “It’s not about stuff, but people.”

I (Dawn) thinks this is a lesson all of us need to learn, and Kathy shares the truth about "space" in the most personal and appealing way.

Kathy continues . . . 

One of my big life lessons is regarding how I fill my existence. My time. My relationships. My home.

Do I cram it full or allow space for margins?

My husband has always liked our home to be neat and orderly. More stuff equaled more stress, especially if it was out of place. I guess you could say he has a disorder with disorder.

On the other hand, I come from a hoarder background, and have to put the brakes on wanting more of everything. More seemed to equal happiness and prevent feeling deprived.

But I was wrong.

It took a series of situations to show me the peace of less.

We went from having a 4,000-square-foot home plus a two-story carriage house to finding happiness in just 550 square feet. Once we adjusted, God gave us our forever home—a spacious 2,300 square foot Mid-Century Modern home.

During the early part of the transition, we said goodbye to most of our belongings to pare down.

Do you know how odd it is to watch your possessions going out the door with someone else at your living estate sale? 

“I called to the LORD in distress; the LORD answered me and put me in a spacious place” (Psalm 118:5 Holman Christian Standard Bible.

Now we have room to fill back up, but we don’t have the desire to acquire.

Instead we want to fill our home with people.

That’s what it all comes down to. Whether it is our home or our lives, we make space for people, not stuff.

• My mom moved in with us.
• We started a small group who meets weekly in our home to do life together.
• We carved out extra space in our schedules, not to do more, but to do life more—especially with others.
• We set up our home to be a welcome haven for others.

This transition has also caused me to evaluate and eliminate unnecessary demands on my time and energy. It allowed me to regain focus on what really matters.

We don’t take our stuff to heaven with us when we die, but we do take the effects of how we spend our time with others.

People matter, not stuff.

How can you go through a similar reduction in order to fill up with what’s really important?

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. What is my goal with minimizing stuff, reducing debt, or lightening the demands on my schedule?
2. What do I want to make space for?
3. What causes these things to keep piling on?
4. Is there something I need to say “No” to, in order to simplify?
5. Is there something I need to sell, in order to minimize?
6. Is there a stress I need to let go of, in order to find greater peace?
7. How will simplifying my life make space for what I want—and more importantly—what God wants?

One way I make space for what matters is to live healthfully.

This means a balance of wellness for heart, soul, mind, and strength. Eliminating what detracts from that goal.

A simple life is a satisfied life.

Mom had a funny experience of too much of a good thing recently at a cafeteria-style restaurant.

She requested carrot salad. The server scooped on a big heap of the salad, but then started pouring what she called “the marinade” over the carrot salad. It wasn’t a flavorful marinade or a dressing. Just a watery mess.

The server thought she was doing mom a favor by adding more and more. Instead, there was a spill on the way to the table, and things went downhill from there!

Just because something is good doesn’t mean more of it is better.

A perfect example of the cliché, LESS is MORE!

How will you make space in your own life for what really matters?

Kathy Carlton Willis,  God's Grin Gal, writes and speaks with a balance of whimsy and wisdom. She graduated with honors from Bible College and has served for 30+ years in ministry. Kathy shines the light on what holds you back and inspires lightbulb moments. Over a thousand of her articles have been published, as well as her Bible study, Grin with Grace. Kathy and husband Russ share their mid-century modern home with Kathy’s mom.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Brimstone Creative at Lightstock.

Finish Well: Embrace Freedom

In the previous two UPGRADE posts, "Take Courage" and "Build Strength," we considered a number of ways seniors can finish well. In this final post in the series, I (Dawn) want us to consider how we can "Embrace Freedom."

In my span of 65 years, I've discovered two kinds of seniors.

One kind retires from life and fails to dream new dreams. As one such woman told me, "I'm just waiting for the rapture." You may have heard someone say that too.

The other kind grabs hold of every day, buying up the time. As one senior I know said,  

"I don't know how many days I have left on this earth, but I'm not dead yet and I'm going to drink my cup of life dry!"

The first woman foolishly sqandered many opportunities to serve the Lord. The second woman was living out Ephesians 5:15-16, redeeming time, wisely making the most of every opportunity.

I want to be like that second woman. I want to redeem the rest of my years. Because I have freedom in Christ, I want to embrace freedom and finish well.

Now I don't know what redeeming the senior years looks like to you, but here are four ways I'm going to embrace freedom in my own senior years.

First, I'm going to . . .

1. Purge the Unnecessary.

In today's culture, with so many things to buy and so many storage units to keep them in, it may not be as natural to pare down in the senior years as it used to be. To be sure, many are "down-sizing" as they get older, but others are still burdened down with too much stuff.

In our elder years, we should be simplifying our lives, purging out the unnecessary, making much of our sweet memories, and preparing for heaven!

Many problems would be helped or even solved, if we just owned a lot less.

• We might find extra hours in our day or more money in our checkbooks;
• We'd have a lot less housework to do—like dusting all those knick-knacks;
• We'd eliminate a lot of stress about our stuff;
• We'd find the calming freedom of "space;"
• We'd be able to, perhaps, release ourselves from others' expectations (just think about the freedom of not having to keep up with the Joneses or fashion's dictates); 
• And maybe we'd finally learn true biblical contentment.

It's not about being a minimalist. It's about becoming a wiser consumer and a better steward. It's about finding the joy of freedom. It's about not being "encumbered" and distracted by so much stuff!

If you're looking for help decluttering, there are many good books that can help. I recommend Kathi Lipp's book, Clutter Free, and Marcia Ramsland's, Simplify Your Space.

2. Use Resources Wisely.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to enjoy financial freedom in old age? That doesn't just happen. Many seniors have frittered away valuable dollars that could have been invested for the latter years.

But regardless of our past foolishness, we can still learn to be good financial stewards. There are so many helpful resources to read and apply, like Ron Blue and Jermey White's Faith-Based Family Finances; Dave Ramsey's Your Money after the Big 5-0; and numerous books and booklets by financial expert Ellie Kay.

It's not just financial resources we need to consider. I believe God wants us to walk through our homes and ask Him how we might better use the material goods in our homes. Maybe we could lend or give an item we own to someone in need. Or maybe we could sell something we have to make compassionate use of the money we generate.

Maybe there is a skill we have that could be used for the Kingdom. We could make quilts, blankets or clothing for someone in need. We could paint someone's fence or help plant a garden. We could write or edit for a financially-strapped ministry. Ask, "What can I do?" Then ask, "How can I use this, Lord?"

Another wise use of resources is considering where we might leave special financial gifts in our will for a favorite ministry or two after we pass on. (You do have a will, right?)

3. Keep on Dreaming.

As people in many walks of life have noted, when we stop dreaming, we start dying inside. If nothing else, our dreams die! And that's sad. Seniors need to keep on dreaming. Dreaming is a diamond for old age with many facets.

Part of dreaming is creativity—figuring out ways to act on our dreams and keep on contributing to our families, church and society.

Creative expression is said to benefit the elderly, promoting health and wellness. I've always admired people like "Grandma Moses" (Anna Mary Robertson Moses), the American folk artist, who started painting in earnest at the age of 78!

Dreaming also includes visionary thinking. Cam Townsend, founder of Wycliffe Bible Translators, went to Moscow and learned Russian to assist in Bible translation when he was 72.

Another part of dreaming is reading and being a lifelong learner. Did you know Chief Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes began the study of Greek at the age of 92? People no doubt wondered why he waited so long. He said, "When else would I have had the time to take it up?"

So keep on dreaming. It will keep your mind young and give you unexpected opportunities to serve the Lord.

(Lost your way and think you can't dream again? Cindi McMenamin can help—read her book, When a Woman Discovers Her Dream.)

4. Pursue New Adventures.

Related to dreaming is: Never be afraid to try something new. When I think of the word "freedom," I often associate it with the word "adventure."

There's just something exciting and freeing about going on an adventure with God!

My friend Pam Farrel has modeled adventursome living over the years. I loved Pam's book, Becoming a Brave New Woman: Step into God's Adventure for You. 

This year, "Adventure" is Pam's focus word—with perfect timing. God is taking Pam and her husband Bill on a big detour in life, but rather than sitting around and complaining about it, they are contemplating what might be right around the corner! They are on a fresh adventure with the Lord. They are anticipating new opportunities with their family and growth in their ministry together.

When we allow God to lead us as He wills, as our Sovereign Lord, we can know that all our adventures will be for our good, others' benefit and His glory.

So don't be afraid of new adventures. Embrace them! (I'm determined to run my life race, wherever it takes me, with joy! Isn't that what you want too?)

• Let's take courage and fight the good fight (2 Timothy 4:7).
• Let's build strength so we can "press on toward the goal to win the prize" (Philippians 3:14).
• Let's "run in such a way"—embracing freedom in Christ—as to get the prize" (1 Corinthians 9:24, NIV; Hebrews 12:1).

Let's FINISH WELL!

What does finishing well look like for you? What is God asking you to change in the days to come so that you can hear His words, "Well done, good and faithful servant"?

 Dawn Wilson, founder and president of Heart Choices Today, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the Director of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in Ministry (NEWIM). Dawn is the co-author of a devotional, LOL with God, and contributed "The Blessing Basket" in It's a God Thing.She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic Adapted: image courtesy of Mike Enerio, Stocksnapio.com.