Helping Your Children Dream

Sally Ferguson writes about everyday adventures with refreshing perspectives. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she encourages parents to nurture their children's dreams by listening to their hearts and observing their gifts from God.

“When my children were young, I was fascinated by families who were a step ahead of us,” Sally says.

“How did they foster independence and a strong work ethic in their children? How did some go on to become doctors and pastors, when others couldn’t land on a career choice?”

I (Dawn) have seen this evidence of strong parenting too. And I couldn't agree with Sally more about how it influences children's hopes, dreams, and future.

Sally continues . . .

In my own upbringing, I had a strong missions influence. We lived in Grand Cayman for four years while my parents taught in the Christian school and served in various churches on the island. Our home became a landing base for missionaries from all around the globe.

I loved experiencing so many cultures through their stories. Could I also translate that love for God’s work to my own children?

I came to realize a strong work ethic had a lot to do with character formation in the home. Traits like honesty, kindness, and self-control don’t come naturally—we have to learn them.

And, often, the learning happens in what we observe.

• Do parents spend huge amounts of time in front of the T.V.? Then so would the children.
• Do parents reach out to neighbors? Then so would the children.
• Do parents gossip about others? Then so would the children.

It’s all a part of instilling a sense of the responsibility we have as citizens of the world and members of our communities. We are a part of a bigger picture than what’s around us.

As global citizens, we are our brother’s keeper and our sister’s nurturer.

Here are some principles I learned about values.

1. Values are caught, not taught.

Yes, we have to be teachers of the Word, but our children imitate what we model.

My son and daughter inherited my creativity in the kitchen. They also learned about my negative traits and shortcomings.

What makes us different, as Christian parents?

The ability to say, “I’m sorry. I messed up. I need your forgiveness.”

2. Values develop in the heart before becoming an art.

When we understand the “why” behind the principle, it creates a solid background for a lifestyle.

Telling my child to do something my way because I’m the parent communicates we have to obey regardless of the reason.

When we explain our thinking, it helps them develop deductive reasoning skills and think through the process before pursuing an action.

3. Values shape us, not break us.

Values don’t provide a list of rules to make life difficult, but to provide boundaries for the formation of beautiful character.

Following a tab of do’s and don’ts creates legalism.

Developing attributes of integrity and moral strength creates freedom to be ourselves.

When I wrote What Will I Be When I Grow Up?, I wanted to express the importance of work being wholly dedicated to God.

We are all born with a particular personality bent, so we cannot expect each child to fall into the same career path. It’s like trying to fit a spare peg into a round hole.

In high school, I thought the only way I could serve God was to be a missionary. So, I set myself up to feel like a failure when that path didn’t open up.

I’ve learned instead, God uses us as His ambassadors in every arena.

Mechanics, lab technicians, and art teachers all have something in common—they have been created by God to do great work in their field.

These are statements I love.*

• Hair stylists tell people God counts each hair on our heads. (Matthew 10:30)
• Bakers tell people Jesus is the Bread of Life. (John 6:35)
• Firemen tell people Jesus came to rescue us. (2 Peter 3:9)

Do your children like math? They can help us number our days. (Psalm 90:12)

Do your children like aeronautics? They can remind us God created all things in intricate design. (Hebrews 11:3)

Do your children like music? They can lead us in worship to our Creator. (Exodus 15:19-21)

Instead of expecting your children to fulfill YOUR dreams, why not join in the greatest adventure by helping them discover THEIR God-given abilities?

Help them dream their own dreams by providing exposure to many occupations, and experimenting with instruction, interim work, and insight into other livelihoods.

They will become well-rounded individuals and, grounded in their faith, missionaries to the world around them!

How will you help your children create dreams based on biblical traits?

Sally Ferguson loves to dive into God’s Word and splash His refreshing water onto others. She speaks and writes with a look at snapshots of life in the sunshine and in the storms. Sally plans women’s retreats and she’s working on a Bible study for caregivers. She lives in the beautiful countryside of Jamestown, New York, with her husband and her dad. What Will I Be When I Grow Up? is available here, or contact Sally on her website—sallyferguson.net—for a copy.

*Statements are from Sally's book, What Will I Be When I Grow Up?

Graphic adapted, courtesty of Anastasia Gepp at Pixabay.

Waiting on God for Dreams to Come True

Cathy Horning is a rare jewel of wisdom. The more I've gotten to know her, the more I realize we are heart-sisters with the same passion for the Lord and His truth. In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she focuses on a popular topic: dreams.

Cathy asks, "Do you have a dream? One you have waited a long time to come true? A dream, that perhaps, you have all but given up on? Me too!"

Cathy's article came along at a time when I (Dawn) have been talking to the Lord much about dreams. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate her insight!

Cathy continues . . . 

I'd almost given up on a dream—until this summer when this nearly-60-year-old grandmother saw a childhood dream come true.  

1. God’s Timing; Not Mine!

I was 12 when I first decided I wanted to write a book. My books were going to be juicy, the kind of novels sold on racks near the checkout counter at the grocery store.

Then I met Jesus, and in His great wisdom, He tucked away my dream while He worked to grow me up and build my faith.

But one day, it was as if the Lord took my forgotten dream off of a shelf in my heart, dusted it off, and handed it back to me.

It was as if He said, “Remember when you wanted to write books for the world? Now, I want you to write books for Me.”

2. God Takes the Little We Have to Offer.

I was thrilled to rediscover my long forgotten dream. Eagerly, I began to write a weekly devotional for my women’s Bible study group.

Then, a few months later, I received two letters in the mail. Each note, from a young mom who had recently moved away, contained nearly-identical messages: “I have watched you as a mom … can you write to me about parenting?”

I cried. This just couldn’t be a coincidence.

But why would they ask me?

I prayed. God answered. And, I began to write letters—one letter a month for the next year and a half.

I mailed them to my two mom friends, then to a dozen more, and eventually to more than one hundred mamas.

In the days before social media and blogs, with four active children and my husband’s demanding career, it was the little I had to offer.

3. God Uses Detours, Delays and Busy Days.

Life got crazy, and my letter writing ended. God called us to a season of home schooling. Then we moved. Our new home soon became the hub for all of our teenagers’ friends. Plus, we kept busy with sports and hosting dinners, parties and youth events. Our basement was the place for our sons’ band, our daughter’s darkroom, and eventually, a dormitory for boys who wanted to move out, but couldn’t quite afford it.

Our lives were abundantly full.

I continued to teach Bible studies and speak at women’s events, but I did little writing.

Looking back now, there is no way I could have imagined how the Lord was using that very busy season of life to prepare, train and equip me (and our whole family) for purposes He had further down the road.  

4. God Will Give A Loving Nudge.

On occasions when I did speak or teach, I was often asked, “Do you have a book?” No, I hated to admit, I had nothing written.

However, that all changed on a flight to Arizona. The woman across the aisle recognized me from the gym, and for the next hour I had the opportunity to share with her the message I would give the following day. As we prepared to exit the plane, she called out, “I need your message. Do you have it written anywhere?”

I was utterly convicted.

So that summer, the year I turned 50, I began to write again. A book seemed daunting, so I decided to begin a blog.

Never again would I tell a hurting soul, “I have nothing written.”

5. God Rewards Sacrifice, Surrender and Obedience.

Our kids went off to college. Then there were weddings, and grandchildren began to arrive. As our family grew, our parents aged, and there were many unexpected health challenges and great family needs.

Through it all, I continued to blog as I was able. I worked to hone my writing skills, as I prayed my posts would encourage others.

Amidst all this, a spiritual season of winter hit hard. There were three long years of dying to self, serving my family, and surrendering my dreams to Jesus.

I began to believe my years of ministry were over.

Yet, as my hope waned, the Lord began to show me signs of spring. And slowly, this past year, God again opened doors for travel, to speak, and to show me that it was now time to write my book.

6. God’s Plan—for Such a Time as This.

Much to my delight, this summer—the year before I turn 60—my childhood dream came true! 

• I cried as I held in my hands my very first book.
• I praised God.
• And, I dedicated it to the Lord.

You see, to my amazement my first book was filled with the parenting letters I had written twenty-one years earlier, even though I had long lost hope those letters would ever be a book.

But God knew. He had a plan that in His time and His way they would become my very first book, as He has whispered His word to me all year, “Who knows if you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14)

My dear sisters, do you have a dream God has placed in your heart? Does it sometimes seem they will never come true? Or, that it is too late or you are too old? 

Let me assure you, as you walk with Jesus day-by-day, in His perfect plan and time, He will bring to pass and allow to come true the dreams He has planted in your heart.

Please don’t ever give up!

What dream has the Lord placed in your heart? Which of these six points help you to trust God with your dreams today?

Cathy Horning has been a women’s ministry leader, Bible Study teacher, speaker and writer for more than 25 years. She loves the Word of God. Nothing brings her greater joy than sharing with others how very precious, practical, and powerful the promises and truths in God's Word. Married for 34 years, Cathy has four grown children, 10 grandchildren, and many spiritual sons and daughters. She loves long walks by the bay, a good book or movie, Starbucks ice tea, and especially family get-togethers. Her new book is Letters from a Mother's Heart. Read more by Cathy at her website.

Graphic adapted, courtesty of StockSnap at Pixabay.

Finish Well: Embrace Freedom

In the previous two UPGRADE posts, "Take Courage" and "Build Strength," we considered a number of ways seniors can finish well. In this final post in the series, I (Dawn) want us to consider how we can "Embrace Freedom."

In my span of 65 years, I've discovered two kinds of seniors.

One kind retires from life and fails to dream new dreams. As one such woman told me, "I'm just waiting for the rapture." You may have heard someone say that too.

The other kind grabs hold of every day, buying up the time. As one senior I know said,  

"I don't know how many days I have left on this earth, but I'm not dead yet and I'm going to drink my cup of life dry!"

The first woman foolishly sqandered many opportunities to serve the Lord. The second woman was living out Ephesians 5:15-16, redeeming time, wisely making the most of every opportunity.

I want to be like that second woman. I want to redeem the rest of my years. Because I have freedom in Christ, I want to embrace freedom and finish well.

Now I don't know what redeeming the senior years looks like to you, but here are four ways I'm going to embrace freedom in my own senior years.

First, I'm going to . . .

1. Purge the Unnecessary.

In today's culture, with so many things to buy and so many storage units to keep them in, it may not be as natural to pare down in the senior years as it used to be. To be sure, many are "down-sizing" as they get older, but others are still burdened down with too much stuff.

In our elder years, we should be simplifying our lives, purging out the unnecessary, making much of our sweet memories, and preparing for heaven!

Many problems would be helped or even solved, if we just owned a lot less.

• We might find extra hours in our day or more money in our checkbooks;
• We'd have a lot less housework to do—like dusting all those knick-knacks;
• We'd eliminate a lot of stress about our stuff;
• We'd find the calming freedom of "space;"
• We'd be able to, perhaps, release ourselves from others' expectations (just think about the freedom of not having to keep up with the Joneses or fashion's dictates); 
• And maybe we'd finally learn true biblical contentment.

It's not about being a minimalist. It's about becoming a wiser consumer and a better steward. It's about finding the joy of freedom. It's about not being "encumbered" and distracted by so much stuff!

If you're looking for help decluttering, there are many good books that can help. I recommend Kathi Lipp's book, Clutter Free, and Marcia Ramsland's, Simplify Your Space.

2. Use Resources Wisely.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to enjoy financial freedom in old age? That doesn't just happen. Many seniors have frittered away valuable dollars that could have been invested for the latter years.

But regardless of our past foolishness, we can still learn to be good financial stewards. There are so many helpful resources to read and apply, like Ron Blue and Jermey White's Faith-Based Family Finances; Dave Ramsey's Your Money after the Big 5-0; and numerous books and booklets by financial expert Ellie Kay.

It's not just financial resources we need to consider. I believe God wants us to walk through our homes and ask Him how we might better use the material goods in our homes. Maybe we could lend or give an item we own to someone in need. Or maybe we could sell something we have to make compassionate use of the money we generate.

Maybe there is a skill we have that could be used for the Kingdom. We could make quilts, blankets or clothing for someone in need. We could paint someone's fence or help plant a garden. We could write or edit for a financially-strapped ministry. Ask, "What can I do?" Then ask, "How can I use this, Lord?"

Another wise use of resources is considering where we might leave special financial gifts in our will for a favorite ministry or two after we pass on. (You do have a will, right?)

3. Keep on Dreaming.

As people in many walks of life have noted, when we stop dreaming, we start dying inside. If nothing else, our dreams die! And that's sad. Seniors need to keep on dreaming. Dreaming is a diamond for old age with many facets.

Part of dreaming is creativity—figuring out ways to act on our dreams and keep on contributing to our families, church and society.

Creative expression is said to benefit the elderly, promoting health and wellness. I've always admired people like "Grandma Moses" (Anna Mary Robertson Moses), the American folk artist, who started painting in earnest at the age of 78!

Dreaming also includes visionary thinking. Cam Townsend, founder of Wycliffe Bible Translators, went to Moscow and learned Russian to assist in Bible translation when he was 72.

Another part of dreaming is reading and being a lifelong learner. Did you know Chief Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes began the study of Greek at the age of 92? People no doubt wondered why he waited so long. He said, "When else would I have had the time to take it up?"

So keep on dreaming. It will keep your mind young and give you unexpected opportunities to serve the Lord.

(Lost your way and think you can't dream again? Cindi McMenamin can help—read her book, When a Woman Discovers Her Dream.)

4. Pursue New Adventures.

Related to dreaming is: Never be afraid to try something new. When I think of the word "freedom," I often associate it with the word "adventure."

There's just something exciting and freeing about going on an adventure with God!

My friend Pam Farrel has modeled adventursome living over the years. I loved Pam's book, Becoming a Brave New Woman: Step into God's Adventure for You. 

This year, "Adventure" is Pam's focus word—with perfect timing. God is taking Pam and her husband Bill on a big detour in life, but rather than sitting around and complaining about it, they are contemplating what might be right around the corner! They are on a fresh adventure with the Lord. They are anticipating new opportunities with their family and growth in their ministry together.

When we allow God to lead us as He wills, as our Sovereign Lord, we can know that all our adventures will be for our good, others' benefit and His glory.

So don't be afraid of new adventures. Embrace them! (I'm determined to run my life race, wherever it takes me, with joy! Isn't that what you want too?)

• Let's take courage and fight the good fight (2 Timothy 4:7).
• Let's build strength so we can "press on toward the goal to win the prize" (Philippians 3:14).
• Let's "run in such a way"—embracing freedom in Christ—as to get the prize" (1 Corinthians 9:24, NIV; Hebrews 12:1).

Let's FINISH WELL!

What does finishing well look like for you? What is God asking you to change in the days to come so that you can hear His words, "Well done, good and faithful servant"?

 Dawn Wilson, founder and president of Heart Choices Today, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the Director of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in Ministry (NEWIM). Dawn is the co-author of a devotional, LOL with God, and contributed "The Blessing Basket" in It's a God Thing.She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic Adapted: image courtesy of Mike Enerio, Stocksnapio.com.