When You're Feeling Lonely

Meet Cindi McMenamin: Cindi’s books encourage women to dream, to rest and to find purpose in God. She is especially skilled in encouraging women to trust God with their emotions and attitudes. She has some powerful insights for us today:

Do you struggle with loneliness? Whether we are married or not, we can feel loneliness start to creep into our lives and change our attitude if we're not carefully guarding our heart and mind.

One morning as I was struggling with loneliness because of disappointments and unmet expectations in my life, I realized I was in my state of mind because I was believing something about my situation -- or about God - that wasn't true. So, I had to incorporate this principle, from my book, Women on the Edge, into my life to upgrade my attitude. You can upgrade your attitude (and those feelings of loneliness), too, by sorting the facts from the feelings:

In other words, when you focus on the facts (about God’s character and the promises in His Word) and not on what you are feeling, you can immediately upgrade your attitude and get through your day.

• You may be feeling like everyone has abandoned you and you are alone. But the fact is that God has promised that He will never leave you, nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
• You may be feeling hopeless in your situation. But the fact is that God promises He will work all things (even this difficult time of feeling alone) for good to those that love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
• You may be feeling alone in your circumstances, like God is unaware and unconcerned with your pain at the moment. But the fact is that God is aware of what you are feeling at every moment. He has searched you and He knows you. He perceives your thoughts from afar. Before a word is on your tongue, He knows it completely (Psalm 139:1-4).
• You may be feeling it is impossible for God to give you the kind of wisdom you need to deal with situations in your life as a woman, wife or mother, but the fact is God is able to give you the kind of wisdom you need, because James 1:5 says, “if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

In other words, when you focus on the facts (about God’s character and the promises in His Word) and not on what you are feeling, you can immediately upgrade your attitude and get through your day.

Which of these promises from scripture most encourage you when you feel lonely?

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author of several books, including Women on the Edge, When a Woman Overcomes Life's Hurts, and When Women Walk Alone.

For more on her books, ministry, and free resources to strengthen your soul, see her website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.

Hold On for Dear Life

Meet Rhonda Rhea: I met Rhonda at a writer’s conference. She kept me laughing … and thinking! She never fails to challenge my heart, and I’m glad she’s an UPGRADE Partner.

Get ready to smile …

“I always keep dried fruit in my desk drawer so I’ll have a healthy snack handy when I’m working,” Rhonda said. “Except the fruits are so dry that all that’s left of them is these nacho cheesy Doritos.”

Rhonda continues …

Somehow that makes it an even sadder snack situation when I reach for my fruit and all I find in the bottom of the Dorito bag is a bunch of orange powder. I hate that. Some people would suggest that whenever that happens, I would do well to take the hint and go get an apple. Those are people who just don’t get me at all.

Then there are others who say the nacho-powder is the best part. They’re closer to getting me than the apple group. Still, they would no doubt think it wasteful of me if they saw me throwing away a perfectly good bag of Dorito-dust. I’m sorry, but once I find anything in my snack stash in ash form, I toss it.

Definitely time for a new bag of Dor-fruit-os. Holding on to the bag when its contents are practically an aerosol just doesn’t work for me. Spray-on Doritos? No, I say give the bag a decent burial and let it go. Stashes to ashes, dust to Doritos.

Likewise, our walk with Christ can be either wonderfully encouraged or sadly thwarted by what we choose to hang on to. And what we don’t. Hang on to wealth or material things, success or power, popularity or fame, comfort or entertainment—or a gazillion other things that promise to satisfy but don’t deliver—and there’s going to be disappointment. If we hang on to pride or unforgiveness or any other sin, we inevitably find there’s not only disappointment, but devastation. As we hang on to those sins, they also begin to hang on to us.

Even hanging on to good things can sidetrack our lives in a fruitless direction. Jesus said, “If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it,” (Matthew 16:25, NLT). Holding onto anything in this life is letting go of too much of Jesus. That leads to a dead-end life with no fruit. None. Not even the dried up fruit of the Dorito variety.

So much of the victorious life in Christ is about knowing when to let go and when to hold on. We’re told in Deuteronomy 13:4, “Follow the Lord your God and fear Him. Keep His Laws, and listen to His voice. Work for Him, and hold on to Him,” (NLV). As we hold on to Him and passionately embrace all He calls us to be and to do, life becomes exactly what it’s meant to be. Sweet. Dear.

Holding on to the Father is surely holding on for dear life.

What do you tend to hold on to that makes it harder to hold on to the Lord?

Rhonda Rhea is a humor columnist, radio personality, speaker and author of 10 books, including How Many Lightbulbs Does It Take to Change a Person? and her newest, Espresso Your Faith - 30 Shots of God's Word to Wake You Up. She lives near St. Louis and is a pastor’s wife and mother of five grown children. Find out more at www.RhondaRhea.com.

UPGRADE Your Celebrations!

To celebrate is to observe a day or event with ceremonies of respect, festivity or rejoicing. It's a time to extol or praise, to display or make known.

Everyone likes to celebrate, whether it's a birthday, graduation, promotion or holiday.

And I believe there are at least four ways to UPGRADE Your Celebrations:

Upgrade Mentally - If it's a holiday, look up the meaning of the event [see note about disputed celebrations: Romans 14:5-6]. Prepare some facts to share with others, to help them understand the point of the event. If it's a birthday or graduation or some other achievement, give it some thought. Study some "history" to add meaning - perhaps something about the person's character that got him or her to this point. Who is the person really, behind the scenes. Think! 

Upgrade Emotionally/Socially - Give yourself permission to celebrate! Celebrations are not occasions for sourpusses. Smile. Laugh. Connect. Get involved with people and celebrate together. Be friendly and make a new friend. Let love spill over into joy. Let your inner child remember the joys of youth ... let loose a little. Rejoice! (Proverbs 17:22a; Philemon 1:7)

Upgrade Physically - Do something fun. Think and get creative with food, decorations and gifts. Make a cake, cookies or a special healthy dish. Go to an organized celebration. Wave a flag. Hug!(Especially, hug a veteran on Memorial Day!) Give a thoughtful gift. Go to a parade, or make a mini-parade with your friends. Don't just sit around and watch others celebrate. Get involved in a community of people who understand how important it is to celebrate. Act! (1 Corinthians 10:31; Colossians 3:17)

Upgrade Spiritually - Thank God for the reason for the celebration. Read and share scriptures that refer to some aspect of the celebration. Make spiritual applications when possible. Pray together. Sing a hymn or praise song that "works" with the occasion. Point people to the Source of true joy - acknowledge God (James 1:17; 1 Thessalonians 5:18).

The key to celebrations? Go all out. Be all there!

I hope all your celebrations are happy and blessed. Remember - Think. Rejoice. Act. Acknowledge God.

What do you do to UPGRADE Your Celebrations?

Dawn Wilson is the founder of Heart Choices Ministries and creator of UpgradeWithDawn.com. Dawn's ministry encourages, edifies and energizes women with the truth of scripture so they can better enjoy life, bless others and honor God.

10 Tips to Control Your In-Box

Meet organizing professional Marcia Ramsland, who can help you upgrade your email efficiency.

Marcia says an abundance of emails in your In-Box is “the beginning of a complicated life."

“Clean up your In-Box,” she said, “and leave each day relaxed knowing your email is under your control.”

Marcia’s 10 Email Tips to Deal with Email Efficiently:  

1. Read and Respond. Decide what to do the FIRST time you open an email. Do it now or it will double the time it takes to respond. The key is to pause and decide what action is needed.

2. Clear it Out. Once you’ve read and responded, move it out of your In-Box with “Delete or Archive.” In “Archive” it’s still there to search by key word. Gmail now has a “Send & Archive” button that does the work in one click.

3. Rely on the “Search” feature to pull up emails. Instead of creating an elaborate File Folder system, learn to search by the person’s name or email.

4. Tame Your “Reading” File. Keep the good blogs &newsletters in this file that pass your way. Read them mid afternoon or at the end of the day. Delete the file contents daily or weekly.

5. Create No more than 6-10 Key Email Folders. “Responded,” Holding”, or “Archive” are great for once you’ve responded. Move out emails prior to 3 months ago “Archive before (date).”

6. Don’t “Over File” with too many specific folders. Create no more than 6-10 folders by program, action steps, or project. It’s time-consuming to put them into any more folders than that. Rely on the “Search” feature to pull up emails.

7. Create “Rules” in Outlook or “Filters” in Gmail. This lets email bypass your In-Box and land in a folder you want to keep such as: the name of an organization, “Coupons” from Costco, Barnes and Noble, or Amazon, or “Personal” for interesting forwards.

8. Keep a “Follow-up” folder if needed. This is for emails you respond to but you need to know the other person did their part. Check it at the end of the week to see if everything’s taken care of or forward the email and ask if they got it.

9. Set times to do email and don’t let it become your To Do list! Twice in the morning and twice in the afternoon are adequate.

10. Begin and end each day by getting your email down to your Target Number. A single digit or number under 20 email in your In-Box puts you in the driver’s seat of your life.

Set a Goal to Cut Your Email in Half each Week!
Get there by keeping track on your calendar of how many you leave in your In-Box each day. Intentionally whittle down the count.

Marcia Ramsland is well known as "The Organizing Pro" for her practical skills and tips to manage busy lives. She is an author, speaker and national media guest in magazines, radio, and TV. One of her popular books, Simplify Your Life, is now an Online Class series, "Simplify Your Life: 7 Weeks to a NEW Organized You!" For more resources from Marcia, visit organizingpro.com.

Five Tips for Cheap Chic

Meet Jill Swanson:  A couple of years ago, Jill stood in my bedroom, helping me go through my wardrobe—piece by piece. We made big piles to give away, throw away, mend, and set aside to look for items to complete outfits. My closet never looked so spacious and organized! Jill was especially sensitive to my limited budget and I still use her color insights. (Turquoise became my "signature" color that day!)

“You can have beauty without breaking the bank,” Jill said. “As a professional image consultant, I love to teach women how to look like million without spending it.”

Here are a few of Jill’s favorite tips.

1. Organize first, shop later. Sort out the good, the bad and the ugly. This will reacquaint you with what you already own and possibly set you up for some extra income. What was “bad” for you could be good for someone else. Consignment stores are always looking for up-to-date, gently-worn clothing to resell, and that means money in your pocket. 

2. Get creative. Ugly can become useful. Before you trash that white blouse with the yellowed armpits – harvest the unique buttons off of it. I find beautiful buttons, appliqué and lace on garage sale garments and transplanted them onto my tired wardrobe basics.

3. “Know thyself” and dress accordingly. Go back to the “good” – what worked for you? Was it the color? Style? Fabric? Or perhaps just the fact that it fit a role in your lifestyle.  If you stay at home and have a closet full of business clothes, it’s time to reprioritize and spend your money where you spend your time. Give yourself permission to buy better quality and get a good fit in your “at-home” clothes. Duplicate winning colors and styles from those tried and true pieces that worked in your past.

4. Accessorize and shop wisely.  Invest in scarves, jewelry and add-ons (vests, belts, etc.) to change your look with a little color and decor. Shop consignment stores and department store sale racks for clothes (better quality). Use import shops and teen departments for trendy accessories.

5. Minimize. Learn to be content with less. Owning a few pieces that look fabulous on you is better than having much that looks mediocre!

What's your favorite fashion tip?

Jill Swanson, Image Coach, author and Christian speaker, helps women make the most of what they’ve been blessed with. For consultations (online or in person) and or to check out Jill's newest book, Out the Door in 15 Minutes, please visit www.jillswanson.com.