Rx for Caregivers

Sally Ferguson always laces her writing with scripture truth. In this Caregiving UPGRADE, she helps us see how we can minister to caregivers who pour out their lives in service to others.

"Caregiving has come in multiple seasons for me," Sally said, "so it was an epiphany for me to realize the Good Samaritan was also a caregiver."

I (Dawn) had never thought of it that way. Sally is right. Also, the Lord told this story about the Good Samaritan some time after He sent out His followers to prepare the way for His arrival.

Jesus is the greatest Caregiver of all, and He wants us to follow His example of selfless service.

Sally continues…

Luke 10:30-35 tells the Good Samaritan’s story.

He acted as medic, transport and financier.

Parents can relate to this multitasker when we doctor up scrapes, become a taxi driver to endless sports and school activities, and provide for those events from the bank of Mom and Dad.

I’ve also been a caregiver when:

• My Mom-in-love had double knee replacement.
• I served as a Chemo Buddy through multiple friends' cancer treatments.
• My Dad came to live with us.

Doctor appointments, physical therapy sessions, drug store runs, and sleepless nights all take a toll on the caregiver.

We serve out of compassion, but Xochitl Dixon says in Waiting for God, “Compassion can become exhausting when we try to do God’s job.”

At some point, the caregiver has to administer self-care.

We have to refill our cups in the Lord’s presence, so that out of the overflow we can again refresh others.

He invites us in Matthew 11:28 to come to Him for rest.

Psalm 68:19, 1 Peter 5:7 and Psalm 55:22 invite us to cast our cares on the Lord.

This practice is more than a “one and done” prayer; it is the process of releasing our burdens to be carried by another.

This act of letting go can look different from one person to the next.

• Maybe worship music helps you?
• Maybe taking your charge for a ride in the car?
• Kneeling and stretching are postures of prayer, as are journaling, swimming, and doing dishes.

Find a way to gather your thoughts and hand them to the Lord.

What Would I like to Know as a Caregiver?

1. God cares.

In exhaustion, desperation and sorrow, it’s easy to think you’re alone in the battle. We start to entertain the “Why?” questions, and slide down the slippery slope of despair.

Years ago, my pastor said, “God knows and He cares” (Matthew 6:8). That assurance has given me strength to carry on through difficulty.

It reminds me I am not expected to do life in my own strength, and I have a heavenly Father who is invested in the details of my day-to-day experience.

2. Other people care.

Isolation is quite often the hallmark of a caregiver’s lifestyle. A mom with an infant yearns for adult conversation. Someone caring for a member of the family with dementia wishes for a day of recognition. A nurse is overwhelmed by suffering.

It’s hard to give and give without receiving care too.

Galatians 6:2 reminds us to share each other’s burdens.

Could you connect with a support group for your circumstance? From Alzheimer’s to MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) to zany viruses and everything in-between, there’s a support group to be found. Check online and in your community for reputable organizations.

A listening ear can lighten the load.

And, combat isolation by taking your charge for a walk, sitting on the patio in the sunshine, or going for an ice cream run. Look for something to celebrate, every day.

3. What I’m doing WILL make a difference.

Investing in a life is noteworthy, but often thankless.

The attention drawn to the sanctity of life is not only for the pre-born, but also affects how we treat our elderly and disabled. When we care for others, Jesus says we are showing Him how we care for Him (Matthew 25:34-40).

Whether you’re changing diapers and wiping drool for a 13 year old with special needs, or driving someone to chemo appointments, you need to know it matters.

You are needed, and no one can give the same level of care as you, because you are connected. You notice their smiles and celebrate their laughter. You administer grace in various forms.

Purpose changes perspective when we take our eyes off of ourselves.

Cain was wrong when he said, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” We’re ALL called to be caregivers (John 21:16; 1 Peter 5:2).

The way we live out that role is important: we show our love for Jesus—by caring for His people (John 21:15-17).

Do you know a caregiver who needs a friend? What can you do this week to lift that caregiver's load or model the love of Jesus?

Sally Ferguson is a caregiver for her dad and her grands. She lives in western New York with her hubby of 33 years. Look for her words at EzineArticles, AlmostAnAuthor, on Amazon and at sallyferguson.net.  sallyferguson.net.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Sabine Van Erp at Pixabay.

Three Steps toward Dependence

I've long admired Kathy Howard for her skill in communicating biblical thruth through creative Bible studies, and recenty she tackled a topic that is hitting many people where they live. In this Caregiving UPGRADE, she provides a fresh perspective for weary caregivers.

"Self-reliance and independence hinder our caregiving," Kathy says.

Didn't I (Dawn) say it is a "fresh perspective"? I've read many posts promoting independence for caregivers, but never one on learning dependence.

Kathy continues . . .

Caring for my aging parents demands more than I have to give. I remember one night in particular.

Voices penetrated the heavy shroud of sleep. I could hear the anxiety in Mom and Dad’s conversation, but I couldn’t make out the words.

I threw back the covers and stumbled across the hall to their room. Dad lay on the floor beside the bed. I managed to get him sitting, but I could not get his 230-pounds off the floor and back in the bed.

My husband was stirring in the other room, so I called for help. Together we got Dad back in bed.

Thankfully, the fall only caused a few bumps and bruises. But it dramatically reminded me of my limitations.

My natural bent toward self-reliance is reinforced by a culture that admires this quality.

Our culture teaches us that independence is good and dependence is to be avoided at all costs.

While true in certain instances, self-reliance and independence can hinder believers. When we face circumstances and situations we cannot control, change, fix, or conquer we are thrown off balance.

What do we do when we simply can’t do it?

There is nothing easy about caring for aging parents.

No matter how much we love them, the task demands more than we have to give—physically, emotionally, spiritually and relationally. We need help from family members, friends, and health professionals.

But even that won’t always be enough.

Soak in this glorious truth for a moment: Our deficiency is an opportunity for God to demonstrate His sufficiency. Our dependence allows God to prove Himself dependable.

Within ourselves, we don’t have what it takes to tackle life’s hardest challenges, but God has more than we need.

A passage in 2 Corinthians beautifully shows us how Paul depended on God to carry him when he couldn’t go on. Paul had encountered a situation in Asia so desperate, he saw no way out of it with his life (2 Corinthians 1:8). Yet, miraculously God delivered him.

When the situation was hopeless, Hope flooded in. And Paul learned utter dependence on the One who is utterly dependable (2 Corinthians 1:9-10). 

The passage reveals that God allowed this situation to happen so that Paul and his companions would learn to rely on God (2 Corinthians 1:9).

And Paul continued to depend on God. When God chose to leave the “thorn” in his life, Paul learned the sufficiency of God’s grace. In his weakest moments, God’s power was revealed.

Paul’s weakness became a stage for God’s strength.

God also wants us to trust Him with all the circumstances of our lives—including caring for our aging parents. He longs to show us He is trustworthy, reliable and powerful. So, how can we let go of independence and learn to depend on Him?

Let’s follow Paul’s example toward dependence in 2 Corinthians.

1. Reflect on God’s past provision.

Think about all the times in your past when God has worked. Remember the times He has comforted you, encouraged you, delivered you from danger, given you clear direction for the path ahead.

Reflecting on God’s past provision and faithfulness will strengthen your future trust in Him.

2. Contemplate the scope of God’s power.

Meditate a few moments on our powerful, almighty God. The God who created the universe is not weak or powerless. He heals the sick, raises the dead, and holds the stars in place.

He can provide what you need for your daily life. Even the hardest days of caregiving.

3. Sit quietly in God’s gracious presence.

The same God who spoke the world into existence is the same God who delivered Paul. And He is the same God who longs to fill you with His grace and strength.

Linger with Him today. Ask Him to give you an awareness of His presence with you.

When we depend on Him, our caregiving role is a chance for God to demonstrate His strength in our lives. Paul expressed this truth:

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me" (2 Corinthians 12:8-9).

Caring for our parents provides ample opportunity for God’s power to work in our weakness. For God to show Himself worthy of our dependence.

Depend on Him today.

What are some other ways you can purposefully work to foster dependence on God for caregiving today?

Kathy Howard, a Bible teacher and former “cultural Christian,” now lives an unshakeable faith for life and encourages other women to also embrace real, authentic faith. Kathy is author of 8 books, including “30 Days of Hope When Caring for Aging Parents” (May 2018). Get free discipleship helps on her website: www.KathyHoward.org.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Unclelkt at Pixabay.