Search
Blog TOPICAL Index
Follow UPGRADE

   Info about WordGirls

     Member of AWSA

   Info about AWSA

 

Download "Smitten,"                                                                                                                                  Dawn's Marriage Workbook.

 


 

 

 

 

Entries in Character (5)

Wednesday
Nov152023

Minister with 'Last-Days Leadership'

Many people are pointing to the "signs of the times" and concluding that Christians will soon meet their savior, Jesus, in the air (in the rapture of the Church). Whether that day is almost here, or many years away, we definitely are going to face troubling days ahead. In light of that, we need strong leaders. It's what I like to call "Last-Days Leadership." In this Leadership UPGRADE, I'll share five qualities that can help us lead well in tough times.

Jesus exemplified leadership as the perfect servant-leader. He trained a small team while drawing countless others to follow His message of light and life, forgiveness and freedom. (A good study might be to read the scriptures with this thought: "How can I lead like Jesus?")

There are as many kinds of leadership as there are roles in ministry. Also, as we lead, it's wise to be be a good follower / learner ourselves, asking, "How can I grow in my leadership skills?"

Here are five qualities that can help us lead well in tough times.

The Five C's of Last-Days Leadership

1. CONFIDENCE: Trust God in a Shaky World.

People are frazzled, fearful, and frustrated by the scary things happening in the world:

  • the constant threat of nuclear disaster,
  • the devaluating dollar,
  • new diseases,
  • unstable weather,
  • strained and broken relationships,
  • and stress like never before.

Christian leaders know that the only true source for the security and peace the world craves is God. Everything and everyone else can be taken from us or lost.

Have you heard this statement? "You just need to believe in yourself!" That and many other catchphrases from pop psychology and the culture-at-large can mislead Christians. It's okay to believe you have the ability to do this or that—when you actually DO have the ability—and we all need a measure of confidence to make choices or try new things.

But self-confidence is limited, and when our confidence is accompanied by hurtful pride and independence from God, it's sinful.

More than confidence in ourselves, we need God confidence!

When we need clear direction in a shaky world, the Lord of heaven is our help and resource. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to trust in Him and not lean on our own understanding. Other scriptures also caution about human confidence (like Proverbs 28:26 and Jeremiah 9:23).

It is wise to acknowledge God's right to control our lives.

Rather than trying to drum up more confidence, act in faith every day, and teach others the wisdom and value of confidence in God too. 

2. COMPASSION: Love People in a Needy World.

Effective ministry flows from personal interaction.

Leadership without genuine love and compassion will not help and change people; it will only keep “programs” going.

Jesus often met people’s physical needs before He dealt with their spiritual needs. Servant-leaders are wise to look at others through eyes of compassion and understanding. Offer your hands and heart to God.

If there are any problems in leadership, they usually come from the leader’s failure to connect with people in the group, so:

  • take time to understand people’s needs and wishes,
  • connect to needs by developing relationships,
  • ask questions,
  • and show sincere concern.

Compassion means “to suffer with”—sincere love that comes alongside others, as Jesus did (Matthew 9:36; 14:14).

If there are people in your group that you don’t know how to encourage or lead, take another look. See them through Jesus’ eyes!

Be aware of teachable moments that arise out of sacrificial ministry.

3. CONVICTION: Embrace Truth in a Confusing World.

Do you know what you believe, and why? Can you explain it to others?

As a Christian leader, you are responsible to guide others to the truth of God’s Word, and help them understand how His truth applies to their personal lives.

The Apostle Paul said, “I know whom [not just what] I have believed” (2 Timothy 1:12). That should be the confession of every child of God, especially Christian leaders. 

Know God’s Word to know Him!  

The world would like us to compromise what we believe—to water it down and tolerate lies—but it is only the truth that sets people free (John 8:32; 17:17).

The scriptures are profitable and powerful (2 Timothy 3:16; Hebrews 4:12). Embrace the Word, and seek the will of God daily. Your leadership will be rooted and fruitful (Psalm 1:1-3).

There is no substitute for the pure Word of God.

4. CHARACTER: Reflect Christ to a Watching World.

God chose each of us “to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last” (John 15:16). Ambassadors for Christ will serve Him with integrity and good character (2 Corinthians 5:20).

Leaders should model behavior they want co-laborers and followers to emulate, but even more is at stake: the world is watching to see if our walk lines up with our talk.

Reflect Christ. Bring glory to His name, not shame.

We want:

People are watching—guard your heart and mind!

5. COURAGE: Stand for God in an Unbelieving World.

As our culture plunges deeper into sin, the light of holy Christians will shine brighter and brighter and people should see the difference (Matthew 5:16). 

But that's not all that will happen.

  • The world despises those who follow Christ with a whole heart and believe in the authority of the unchanging Word of God (John 15:18-19), so expect tension between good and evil.
  • You may even be called to suffer for His sake as you stand for truth (Romans 8:17-18; 2 Timothy 3:12; I Peter 4:15-16). 

How can you move forward in courage?

  • Find strength in the joy of the Holy Spirit's presence (John 14:16-17). Jesus sent Him to be our helper and, especially when times get tough, He gives direction based in the truth.
  • Cast a biblical vision of holiness in the fear of God, sacrificial service, and joyful ministry. Where there is no vision—no long-term plan based in the Word and will of God—people will either be destroyed or wander aimlessly. So help them see what God is doing (Proverbs 29:18 MSG).
  • This is not a time to be fuzzy about our role as leaders! Stand alone, if necessary, for what is right. Be bold for God!

No matter where we are on the timetable of God, we still want to minister well. God can help us do that with confidence, compassion, conviction, character, and courage.

We don't need to worry about "success"—we only need to be faithful to what our Father in heaven has called us to do; and if he has called us to lead, let us do it to honor Him.

Are you a leader in some way? Are you practicing the five C's? If not, what can you do to improve?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth at Revive Our Hearts, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Christina at Wocintechchat.com for Unsplash.

Thursday
Jun252020

A Season of Quarantined or Cocooned?

Joanie Shawhan is skilled at finding positive lessons in the midst of seemingly negative circumstances. In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she writes about how the recent quarantine was, for her, a time of transformation.

"Frightened, bewildered and shut away—the hallmarks of this quarantined season," Joanie says.

Like many, I (Dawn) struggled many days with feelings of being shut away, but then the Lord showed me fresh insights about living. In the midst of great losses, many also experienced great blessings of spiritual growth.

Joanie continues . . .

I don’t understand why we’ve been engulfed in a pandemic and why so many people suffered the loss of loved ones and livelihood.

The following verse has challenged me:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5 NKJV).

“Trust me,” God says.

Do I trust nothing bad will happen? Bad things happen to good people, even God’s people. But I don’t place my trust in my circumstances.

I trust in the God who walks with me through all my seasons, including brokenness. 

As we emerge from quarantine, I wonder, were we truly isolated?

Maybe we’ve been hidden.

Sequestered away, I felt God had wrapped me in a cocoon, hiding me, sheltering me, drawing me to Himself. But the cocoon was not a place of inactivity.

Deep within, hidden, God was at work transforming me.

Maybe He has been transforming all of us—stripping away stinky mindsets, attitudes and trappings. Replacing dead works with His truth and love.

How we emerge from our cocoons, spun by the hand of God in response to the crisis, will depend upon the nourishment we received while hidden in Him. Nourishment that comes from His Word and His presence—healing and recreating us into His image. Restoring our identity in Christ.

While we were hidden away...

What qualities did God cultivate in our hearts? 

1. Faith

Our faith increased as our hearts responded to God's love and His goodness. We became confident He is for us and not against us.

2. Trust

We grew in trust, as we experienced God’s faithfulness even when we didn’t understand the whys of our circumstances.

3. Peace

We focused on Christ and His Word, calming our hearts in the face of fear and anxiety.

4. Love.

God continually reached out to us and drew us to Himself by His love, a love that never changes despite our weaknesses and failures.

5. Hope.

We know God moved on our behalf even when we couldn’t see any evidence of change. He promised us a future filled with hope.

6. Humility.

We recognized the situation we faced was out of our control and we couldn’t fix it. Only the God who created the universe could bring order out of this chaos.

Like butterflies, we can’t remain in the chrysalis forever.

We must also emerge, changed and transformed. But our beauty reflects the image of Christ.

What aspects of God might we manifest as we emerge from a season hidden in Christ?

1. Compassion — During our confinement, we learned to listen to God’s heart, His love and compassion for a hurting world.

2. Grace — God softened our hearts, reminding us everyone has a story. He enables us to extend grace to those whose viewpoints and feelings are different than our own.

I like John Stott’s definition of grace, “Grace is love that stoops and rescues.”

3. Joy — The joy we experienced in the presence of the Lord will flow through us to others. This joy will strengthen us as we move forward to fulfill our purpose and destiny.

God is looking for vessels transformed by His love, ready to minister to a hurting world.

We go forth with the compassion, grace and joy God instilled in us while we were sequestered away with Him.

We will be able to proclaim along with David:

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him (Psalm 40:3 NIV).

What transformation have you experienced during this season of confinement?

Joanie Shawhan is an ovarian cancer survivor, registered nurse, speaker, Selah Awards Finalist for In Her Shoes: Dancing in the Shadow of Cancer, and radio and television guest. Contact Joanie: www.joanieshawhan.com.

Thursday
May072020

Upgrades from COVID-19

Cathy Horning has a tender heart toward the Lord, receptive to His voice and eager to respond with trust and obedience. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she writes about how she prays the Lord will transform her life because of the coronavirus.

“At the writing of this post,” Cathy says, “our beloved California is waiting on edge for the surge of COVID-19.”

Like many other Christ-followers, I (Dawn) have been contemplating the changes God might want to make in my life as the crisis of the coronavirus passes. Cathy encourages us to make those thoughts more concrete through prayer and intentional choices.

Cathy continues . . .

By the time you read this, hopefully, we will have passed the crisis, and life as we knew it will begin to get back to normal.

Although, my prayer is that we will never be normal again.

COVID-19 took most of us by surprise. It turned our lives upside down, at best, as it devastated hundreds of thousands, at its worst.

To be honest, besides the fear of sickness and death, finances and what the future would hold, my family was part of the population who were merely inconvenienced by the stay-at-home, shelter-in-place, six-foot-separation quarantine that our leaders ordered.

However besides their disruption to my days, these restrictions revealed a lot about my character, my spiritual condition, as well as how unprepared I was.

My prayer is that once the constraints are lifted and our freedoms are restored, my life will have been upgraded by the COVID-19 Refiner’s fire.

I hope I will be:

  • Less set in my familiar and comfortable ways,
  • More Christ-like in my attitude and actions, and
  • More prepared and fully equipped for future curve-balls, crises and trials that will come our way.   

1. I want to be MORE GRATEFUL.

I hope I will never again take for granted everyday conveniences like stocked grocery store shelves, hand sanitizer, cleaning supplies, toilet paper and the people who make it readily available for us all.

I never again want to assume I will always have the freedom of hugs, coffee shop visits, and family times and outings.

2. I want to be A WILLING SERVANT.

Being stuck at home revealed to me how selfish I am, and how rigid my routine.

I want to be willing to serve others, as if I was serving Jesus Himself, in big ways and small ones, in the comfortable and, especially, in the uncomfortable and inconvenient.

I don’t want to grumble and complain that I must cook and clean more, because there are people at home—all the time—to take care of.

3. I want to be MORE PREPARED and PROACTIVE.

I intend to be more conscientious about and purposeful to not shut out the needs of others, which I realized can happen tucked away safely in the cocoon of my own world.

I will strive to be more connected with my neighbors, to reach out to those in need, and to be aware of and available to help those who are homebound, sick, or hurting.

I pray to walk so closely with Jesus that I can be used to meet the unspoken and unmet needs of others. 

When life returns to normal, I pray there will be an upgrade in my life.

What do I want to see?

  • I don’t want to be haphazard and wasteful.
  • I don’t want to be resentful or disgruntled when I’m asked to serve in inconvenient ways, times and places.
  • And, I don’t want to close my eyes to or look away from others' needs.
  • I don’t want to hang my hope and trust in everything working well or going right or staying the same. Nor do I want to live in fear. Instead, I will live my life filled with faith, led by the Spirit, and more prepared and purposeful to share my faith and my life.

Luke 12:35-37, 42-44 (TPT) says,

'Be prepared for action at a moment’s notice. Be like the servants who anticipate their master’s return…They are ready to unlock and open the door for him at a moment’s notice. What great joy is ahead for the awakened ones who are waiting for the Master’s return!...

A trustworthy and thoughtful manager who understands the ways of his master will be given a ministry of responsibility in his master’s house, serving others exactly what they need at just the right time. And when the master returns, he will find that his servant has served him well. I can promise you, he will be given a great reward and will be placed as an overseer of everything the master owns.'

Today, and every day—disaster or not—I hope and pray my upgrades from COVID-19 are that:

  • I will be more grateful;
  • I will be a willing servant; and
  • I will be prepared and proactive.  

What upgrade has COVID-19 made in your life?

Cathy Horning has been a women’s ministry leader, Bible Study teacher, speaker and writer for almost three decades. She loves the Word of God. Nothing brings her greater joy than encouraging women how to walk in God's ways. Cathy is a popular speaker, blogger and writer, as well as a beloved wife to her husband of 37 years, mom to four, grammy to 13, and spiritual mom to many. She is the author of Letters from a Mother's Heart—Timeless Truths from One Mom's Journey. Read more about her on her website.

Graphic, "Thank You," courtesy of Chrystal Elizabeth at Pixabay.

Thursday
Mar122020

When 'NO' Costs You EVERYTHING

Kolleen Lucariello is a funny, practical, godly woman. I've learned much from her posts and insights. In this Character UPGRADE, she points us to a woman worth emulating—and it's not the woman you might think.

"She said no. She was a defiant wife who had disrespected her husband in front of a bunch of influential men," Kolleen said."I assumed I knew all I needed to know about her."

I (Dawn) appreciate Kolleen's thoughts about this "defiant wife." She's the often-overlooked woman in another woman's story—but she had character and dignity. Her defiance was likely a product of caution and discernment.

Kolleen continues . . .

I’d skim over this wife's part in the story of Esther because that’s what I’ve always been taught. My assumptions would be challenged when I saw her name this time, causing me to pause and consider the woman who said no. 

Queen Vashti, the beautiful wife of King Xerxes, said no.  

She was married to a man who loved power, praise and partying, and referred to himself as, “Xerxes the Great” and “king of kings.” 

In the first chapter of the book of Esther, we read about the party he hosted lasting 180 days. His motive for gathering the powerful leaders from around his empire may have been to bring consolidation and gain political support. 

What better way than to accomplish this than to display the wealth of his kingdom. King Xerxes liked to show off his possessions.

One was his queen, Vashti, who was a very beautiful woman (Esther 1:11). During this time in history, she really was just a possession. Some suggest Vashti may have been the daughter of another king Xerxes had formed an alliance with.

She was his trophy wife. 

Following his big bash, the king hosted a banquet for all of the people in Susa, which lasted for seven days (Esther 1:5). During this banquet, Queen Vashti was hosting her own party for the ladies of the land in the royal palace.  

As we read in the first chapter of Esther, the drinks were plentiful, and each man could drink what he wished (1:8). Can you imagine? Seven straight days of binge drinking? 

Then, on the seventh day, when the king’s heart was “merry with wine” (1:10), he summoned his beautiful wife, Vashti, to come “to him with the royal crown on her head. He wanted the nobles and all the other men to gaze on her beauty, for she was a very beautiful woman” (Esther 1:11, NLT). 

And then it happened.  

She refused his invitation.  

When I stop to consider the circumstances, I wonder:

  • Was she being obstinate? 
  • Was her intent to dishonor and disrespect her husband? 
  • Or was there more to the story? 

Imagine yourself in a room full of drunken men and you are the center of attention.

The men in the room may not have dared to touch her—she was, after all, the queen. But they were drunk.

Perhaps her no was a refusal to be exploited.

Perhaps it was to avoid the risk of being undressed—even with just their eyes.  

Or was her no intended to protect her husband from the shame of what could happen. 

Yes, her denial would have embarrassed the king; however, her denial also may have protected his reputation. 

And let’s not forget, she was busy! She was in the middle of hosting her own party.  

Rather than disregard Vashti’s no, perhaps there is something we can learn from it. 

Does God want us to be honoring and respectful? Absolutely. But perhaps we say yes when He knows we should say no.

God has granted us the freedom to say no to any person, place or thing that would bring dishonor to Him—or us.

The truth is, our no might be the motivation God uses to spare another from a horrible tumble into sin. It also could be the catalyst He uses to bring about His plan and purpose.

Vashti’s no opened the door for Esther. 

Without the necessary no, we may find ourselves: 

  • Overcommitted. 
  • Trapped in toxic relationships.  
  • Overburdened financially. 
  • And yes, left with shame and guilt.   

It’s quite probable that we fail to speak our no because we fear what it might cost us.

I don’t deny a no can be costly; Vashti’s no cost her everything. She lost her position as queen.

But, what if—in that moment of decision for Vashti—she recognized that her worth did not come from her position as wife to the king of kings? 

She knew she was royalty. Maybe, that’s what gave her the strength she needed to say no to his request.  

Now, what if—in every moment of indecision we face—we recognize we too are royalty and our worth comes from the TRUE King of Kings. Would that give us the strength to say “no” to what God would consider inappropriate or offensive? 

Your worth is never dependent on opinion, social status, family genealogy or your bank account. Your worth is found through your identity in Jesus Christ.  

You are royalty!

We are royalty because we are daughters of God! 

“But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12, NLT); and since we are His children, we are His "heirs" (Romans 8:17).  

Never be afraid to shout your no as you live to glorify the King of Kings. 

Regardless of the cost.  

Kolleen Lucariello, #TheABCGirl, is the author of thesoon-to-be-released #beYOU: Change Your Identity One Letter at a Time. Koleen is also Co-director of the women's ministry, Activ8Her: helping women to build confidence in leadership, become courageous in our faith, and create connection in relationship. Kolleen and her high school sweetheart, Pat, reside in Central New York. She's a mother of three married children and Mimi to six incredible grandkids. For more information about Kolleen, visit her website or activ8her.org.

Painting: "Vashti Refuses the King's Summons" by Edwin Long.

Tuesday
Feb262019

10 Things I Would Tell the President in a Sit-down Chat

This is a bit of a departure from my normal UPGRADE posts. It is a Leadership UPGRADE that took shape when I had an image in my mind of sitting down with our President to share from my heart.

At first, this seemed a bit presumptuous. But then again, I love our President and pray for him and his wife and family, so my words would come from a heart filled with love.

The more I thought about what I would say, the more I realized I could speak this truth into any leader's life, because it is all based on scriptural truth.

We all need to grow spiritually. There is no room to think we've "arrived." But I believe we are to challenge each other to make better choices so we can grow, help others, and bring glory to God.

That said, here are my "10 Things I Would Tell the President in a Sit-down Chat"

1. Seek God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.

This is more than a casual, superficial relationship. Be sure you know Him, not simply know about Him.

Get this relationship wrong and nothing else matters.

(Psalm 14:2; Matt. 6:33; Psalm 63:1; 2 Cor. 5:21; Rom. 3:23; 5:8; Titus 3:5; Eph. 2:8-9; Rom. 6:23; 10:9-10; John 3:16)

2. Love your wife*—your prime relationship after God.

Be faithful to her, listen with your heart, be sensitive to her needs, and appreciate her sacrifices for your career.  

(Prov. 18:22; Eph. 5:25-33) 

* Obviously, this would be a little different if the president were a woman.

3. Be a good example to your children.  

Model good character and service, and teach them what truly matters.

In parenting, observed actions matter even more than words.

(Prov. 3:21; 22:6; Deut. 11:18-19; Psalm 78:4; Prov. 13:22; 18:9; Eph. 6:4) 

4. Protect other key relationships—grandchildren, valued friends and co-workers.

People will always be more important than programs, possessions and profits.

Love and serve people well. 

(Psalm 78:4; Deut. 6:5-7; Psalm 112:1-3—Prov. 17:17; 27:17—Matt. 20:26-28; Prov. 16:11; Eph. 4:28; Col. 4:1; Deut. 24:14-15)

5. Surround yourself with wise advisors.

Wise is far better than smart.

Cherish those who dare to tell you the truth, even if it hurts. 

(Prov. 11:14; 13:20; 15:22; Col. 2:8)

6. Refrain from belittling those who disagree with you.

Personal attacks and name-calling are unnecessary. 

It’s OK to point out where and why a person is wrong, but do so with respect.

(Phil. 2:3; Rom. 12;10, 19; Luke 6:31; Eph. 4:24; 5:21; 1 Pet. 2:17)

7. Look for the positive in people.

Listen and consider how you might learn from them. Be willing to learn and change. 

Never neglect giving honor where honor is due. 

(James 1:19; Phil. 4:8—Prov. 3:27; Rom. 13:7b)

8. Always be quick to forgive and to ask forgiveness—even when it’s hard.

Pride can destroy a leader.

Humility comes before honor.

(Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:13; Luke 6:37b—Matt. 18:21-22—Prov. 15:33; 18:12)

9. Practice self-control.

Every day you will encounter opportunities to:

  • show patience,
  • temper anger,
  • resist bragging,
  • overcome lust,
  • and avoid temptation.

Be brave and choose well.

(Gal. 5:22-23; Rom. 12:2—Eph. 4:2; Prov. 15:18; James 1:19-20; Prov. 22:24; Psalm 37:8; Prov. 29:11; James 4:16; Phil. 2:3; Jer. 9:23; Prov. 27:1-2; 2 Cor. 11:30; Job 31:1; 1 Cor. 10:13; Gal. 5:16)

10. Leave a legacy that blesses those in your charge; but ultimately, seek to please God.

In the end, only what God says about you will matter—not what it says in life’s history books or on your tombstone.

(Rom. 12:1-2; Heb. 11:6; Psalm 147:10-11; Prov. 16:7)

Are you a leader? Are any of these truths lacking in your own life? What does God say you should do? Obey Him for greater blessing, and to bring Him praise.

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for Revive Our Hearts  and a writer at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in Southern California and have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.
Graphic adapted from Jessica Gale at Morguefile.