When Your Christmas Plans Go by the Wayside

Yvonne Ortega speaks into women's hearts and minds with truth-laced hope. In this Christmas UPGRADE, she encourages those who find this season a bit of a struggle.

“My new oven doesn’t work," Yvonne said. "The picture tube on the television is dying. I have that intestinal virus again, and it’s Christmas time.”  

This year because of illness, I (Dawn) have my own list of "wayside plans," but I've been encouraged by Christ-followers who keep pointing me back to Jesus. People like Yvonne.

Yvonne continues . . . 

During the Christmas season, I don’t like to rush. That gives me time to enjoy God’s presence and do what I can within reason.

Therefore, after Thanksgiving, I pulled out my planner and scheduled time for writing and speaking projects along with their deadlines.

I also added time for personal tasks, such as decorating the house, sending my annual Christmas newsletter, and Christmas caroling at a local convalescent home.

With my planner in hand, I thought I had everything under control.

I didn’t count on my new oven not working, my new television not being delivered and mounted on the confirmed date, and an intestinal virus hitting me again.

Why did God allow me to spend all that time in my planner when He knew all along what was going to happen?

I’ve learned three things from God’s Word that help me handle the fact that I’m not in charge.

First, I’ve learned that I will finish what I must.

During my quiet time in the sunroom, I complained to my heavenly Father about the oven, the television, and my health. How could I possibly meet ministry deadlines with the chaos in my life?

The Spirit of God within me reminded me of Ephesians 2:10 (NIV), “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

God didn’t need my planner and my detailed daily schedule.

God, who prepared good works in advance for me to do, would help me get them done in His perfect time.

Second, I’ve learned to be content with what I have.

• My oven doesn’t work, but the gas stove does.
• I can still cook and warm leftovers on the stove.
• I can heat water for the ginger tea that soothes my stomach.
• The repairman will come to fix the oven.
• I can be content without a television.
• I won’t die because I miss a few movies on the Hallmark American cable television network.
• I have a stack of books to read, electricity, and indoor plumbing.
• Though I don’t yet have a delivery and mounting date for the new television, sooner or later, I will.

Meanwhile, I can meditate on Hebrews 13:5a (NIV), “Be content with what you have.”

That verse is not an invitation, but rather a command.

Third, I've learned to submit to God's will.

My intestinal virus has disrupted my Christmas season. And yet, it pales in comparison to the disruption in the life of Jesus, who left the glory of heaven to be born as a babe in a manger.

Philippians 2:6–8 (NIV) gives me the right perspective on Jesus’ birth. It reads,

“Have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!”

Good would come from obedience to that humble birth.

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace" (Isaiah 9:6 NIV).

As a Christian woman living after the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, I can call on Jesus any time. He doesn’t have office hours. I can ask him for his wise counsel, power, endurance, and perfect peace. He will listen and understand me.

At the same time, I will submit to God’s will as Jesus did. I will be a servant to my heavenly Father God as Jesus was. 

What will you do when your plans go by the wayside at Christmas time?

Yvonne Ortega walks with a small footprint but leaves a giant imprint in people’s lives. This power-packed package is an award-winning international speaker and the author of the Moving from Broken to Beautiful® Series through cancer, divorce, forgiveness, and loss. Learn more at www.YvonneOrtega.com. Yvonne’s background as a professional counselor brings a unique perspective into the heart of women. She’s also a speaking and writing coach. Yvonne celebrates life at the beach, where she walks, builds sand castles, blows bubbles, and dances.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Jess Watters, Plush Design Studio, at Pixabay.

4 Steps to Contentment

Lina Abujamra, a pediatric ER doctor, wrote a powerful book for singles, and in this Attitude UPGRADE, she helps singles deal with discontentment. But there’s a message here for all of us!

“I like to fix things,” Lina says. “Give me a problem and I’ll give you a solution.”

I (Dawn) think most women are “fixers” at heart—part of that nurturing trait God gives us. I love how Lina uses scripture to help us “fix” a serious spiritual problem.

Lina continues . . .

Fixing things isn’t unusual for an ER doctor, and the more I read about Paul’s approach to life, the more I am convinced he’d be a great fit in the ER too.

In 1 Corinthians 7:17-24, Paul moves from the problem of discontentment to give us four simple steps for developing an attitude of contentment.

Here’s how:

1. It’s a matter of OBEDIENCE.

Consider 1 Corinthians 7:17, 24: “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him . . . So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.”

Paul isn’t suggesting contentment as an option. He uses the active verb “let” to strongly point to the necessity of exercising our will in this matter. The verb let means “to make” or “to cause to.” Contentment is not simply a suggestion.

Accept the life that God has called you to. If you’re married, be married. If you’re single be single. But whatever you do, put your heart and mind into it and actively embrace it by faith.

God cares about your obedience. When you embrace the attitude of contentment, you are willfully showing your obedience to the Lord. It is an attitude that is based not on your circumstances being what you desire them to be, but on what the Lord has provided for you today.

2. It’s a matter of ACCEPTANCE.

I like to say it another way—want what you have. We’re so much like Eve, with closets full of stuff, but always yearning for the one thing we don’t have.

Eve had no contentment despite all God had given her. She went after the one thing she didn’t have and fell strait into the pit of sin. The only way out was God’s saving grace.

If you’re living your life with a nagging desire for the one thing you don’t have, maybe it’s time you call it what it is—sin—and confess it right now. Ask the Lord to forgive you and give you the grace to embrace the life He’s called you to live.

3. It’s a Matter of WORSHIP.

It’s time for a perspective check. This God we call “Father” is the One who called the world into existence. He is bigger than your biggest imagination of Him He is higher than your highest thoughts of Him.

He is also the God who has called you to your life as you know it. I know this to be true because God repeats different forms of the word called seven times in 1 Corinthians 7:17-24.

Your singleness is not a mistake. It is God’s plan for your life today.

Will you choose to exalt God for who He is? Will you worship Him no matter what? When you do that, you will find that contentment will come a bit easier and more naturally for you.

4. It’s a matter of ENDURANCE.

In 1 Corinthians 7:20 and 24, Paul instructs us to “remain.” To remain means to stay. To stay, when you feel like leaving, is not always easy. It takes mental toughness and spiritual tenacity … eyes focused upward … determination … grit. It takes the Lord standing by your side—which is why I love Paul’s whisper to us at the end of verse 24: “remain with God.”

With God makes all the difference. With God frees you to be who you were meant to be. With God is the answer to all your fear.

God’s presence with you is how you can remain when you feel like moving. God’s presence near you is how you can rejoice when you feel like crying. God’s presence with you is how you can remain content in the calling God has given you.

Contentment is satisfaction with God’s sufficient provision. He is adequate to meet all of your needs.

Which of these four steps to contentment would make you a more content person today—whether you are single or married?

Lina AbuJamra is a Pediatric ER doctor, author, and speaker. Her passion is to apply her life-saving, decision-making, and hope-giving skills from the Emergency Room to rescue and recover people from spiritually deadly situations. She has written two books:  Thrive: The Single Life as God Intended, and Stripped: When God’s Call Turns from Yes to Why Me? You can connect with her daily at livingwithpower.org.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of anankkml at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Conquering the 'If Onlys' of Discontent

Kathy Collard Miller's practical and biblical approach to life encourages me to live according to truth. We see that approach in this Attitude UPGRADE.

“If only I didn't have these problems," Kathy says, "I could be the peaceful person God wants me to be.”

Oh, yes. I (Dawn) have succumbed to "if only" thinking. Haven't you? The problem is, it is counterproductive. It never leads to contentment!

Kathy continues ... 

I really did think that the only way I could be content with life, people, even myself, was to be free from problems. So my thoughts often rehearsed:

• If my husband would just not work so many hours, I could be content.
• If my toddler would obey, I could be content.
• If no one would interrupt my schedule, I could be content.

But Paul's words counteract that:

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:11-13 ESV).

It wasn't until I let God work those truths in me that I grew contented.

Here's how:

1. Contentment is a choice. Paul said he “learned” contentment. That indicates a thoughtful involvement through a change of heart.

When I was discontented, I thought “peace” was something that happened to me, rather than something I chose. Taking responsibility for my choices began a huge difference in me.

2. Contentment is not dependent on others. Paul doesn't even mention other people. He uses “I.”

We know that the Apostle Paul had lots of interactions with people who didn't cooperate with him and even tried to ruin his ministry. He was beaten, imprisoned, misunderstood, slandered, and many other very hurtful things. Yet he didn't blame those things or people.

Unfortunately, I didn't learn that quickly and my discontent birthed anger, depression, and bitterness because people weren't cooperating with my needs. But finally, I realized that contentment comes from knowing I can't change anyone else, only myself. Only God can change others.

3. Contentment comes from trusting God. Although Paul's words don't specifically mention trusting God, we know that Paul trusted God. It was that kind of trust that enabled him to surrender to whatever God had for him: plenty, hunger, abundance or need. He believed God loved him and wanted only the best for him.

Basically, discontent is telling God, “You don't know what you're doing. You don't love me. I demand things be different.” I communicated my distrust of God through my demand that (1) my husband meet my needs, (2) my child obey—thus making me look good, and (3) everyone respect my schedule.

But when I truly believed God loved me, that set me free from demanding God do it my way. He knew best!

These three truths began to transform my thinking. I actually did become content. My thoughts became:

• “Even if Larry never changes, I can be the contented woman God wants me to be.”
• “Even if my child disobeys in public, God knows I love her.”
• “Even if people don't respect my schedule, God has a better plan in the interruption.”

Now, many years later, my husband and I just celebrated forty-four years of marriage and we couldn't be happier. My children love me and want to please me. Although my schedule still gets interrupted,  God is fulfilling His plan.

It really is possible to be content!

What are your “what ifs” and what truth do you need to believe to become more content?

Kathy Collard Miller loves to help women trust God more through her 50 books and her speaking in over 30 states and 7 foreign countries. Her website/blog is www.KathyCollardMiller.com and you can sign up for her e-newsletter at http://eepurl.com/UpP8n. In January, 2015, Kathy's newest book will be released: Never Ever Be the Same: A New You Starts Today (Leafwood). You can order Kathy's book, Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries: Finding Peace in All Kinds of Weather at http://bit.ly/1qlceir.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Adjusting to Change

Cherri Williamson is a missionary friend who, like most missionaries, has a life shaped by adjustments to change.

“Most of us don’t like change,” Cherri says. “I’ve had to adjust to many changes over the 37 years we served in Indonesia.”

Thirty seven years! When I went on two short-term mission trips, I got just a taste of what Cherri means by that word “adjustment,” so I know her insights are good for all of us ... anywhere!

Cherri continues …

Moving from modern conveniences to a thatched-roof house with dirt floors, a cement “squatty potty,” and no running water or electricity; and from conversing freely to speaking like a two-year-old as I studied two new languages—you’d think I’d now be a change pro! Wrong!

We recently moved to Singapore with its modern conveniences, malls, even Starbucks! But even this change hasn’t been easy.

The Lord reminds me of a few things when I go through these changes, and these reminders might help you too.

1. Don’t look back -“Forgetting what is behind and looking forward to what lies ahead” (Phil. 3:13). When looking at the past with rose-tinted glasses, present circumstances seem lacking. Focusing on the past makes acceptance of new situations difficult. Keep your eyes on the Lord today! 

2. But look back! Do consider how the Lord helped you through past difficulties.  “Remember how the Lord ... led you all the way” (Deuteronomy 8:2). Faithful yesterday, He will be just as faithful today. Remembering “the wonders He has done” (1 Chronicles 16:12) gives confidence He’ll help in every new change. 

3. Accept differences as just “differences,” not inferior or “dumb.” Having just moved to Singapore, I’m adjusting to its myriad regulations. I found myself grumbling, “This is so dumb!” But God is helping me see some benefits of these myriad regulations! (An example: I don’t have to worry about stepping on chewing gum. It’s illegal here!)

4. Ask God to change your perspective. Our first two years in the Indonesian jungle (with no stores or electricity), I complained I was “sick of eating nothing but rice, canned meat and leaves.” I’ll never forget my husband Barrie’s gentle rebuke: “Honey, maybe if you if you referred to them as ‘greens’ instead of ‘leaves,’ it would help you have a better attitude.” He was right.

5. Find your contentment and joy in Christ—not things, people or circumstances.  Missing malls, Mexican food and corporate worship at home have sometimes been sources of discontentment; but being away from family still is the hardest adjustment. I’m learning the “secret of being content whatever the circumstances” (Philippians 4:11).

When I mutter, “If only ... THEN I would be happy,” my contentment is not in Christ. 

I CAN learn contentment “...through Him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13) and I CAN choose true joy! “You will ... grant me the joy of Your presence” (Ps. 16:11b NLT). 

6. Focus on the Unchanging: Christ’s presence, His Word, and His love and grace. He’s the same “yesterday, today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8), He will never leave you (Hebrews 13:5b), His grace is always “sufficient” (2 Corinthians 12:9), and He will always be faithful (2 Timothy 2:13). 

7. Ask God to make you aware of over-looked blessings. God opened my eyes to see the blessing of living in a country free of religious strife, where I can go out alone in safety, and where great medical help is available. 

8. Delight in things He wants to teach you. In the jungle, God taught me how to can foods and make bread, yogurt, and tortillas, and create jam from unfamiliar tropical fruits. I’d never have learned those things in “civilization.” 

God allows changes into our lives to grow our faith, shake us from complacency and remind us how much we need Him.  

Paul said, “We were under great pressure ... but this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God” (2 Corinthians 1:8, 9). An old hymn says, “In every change, He faithful will remain.” Count on it!

Which of these eight “Adjustment Tips” would most help you in your current changing or difficult situation?

Cherri Williamson is a missionary with New Tribes Mission (NTM) and served in Indonesia with her husband Barrie in church planting and Bible translation for 37 years, now in Singapore. She is the mother of two—both missionaries in Indonesia—and the grandmother of seven "perfect" grandchildren.

Image in text adapted, graphic courtesy of artur84 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.