Christmas? No Sweat!

In this Christmas UPGRADE, Dawn Wilson encourages practical and biblical responses to the holiday season that can reduce stress, even in a pandemic!

Last year, my Christmas looked so different. Circumstances made my family adapt and change so many aspects of the holiday season.

Preparing for a stem cell transplant, and caring for my husband who developed a serious physical issue that required hospitalization, I did all I could to reduce stress and still enjoy the holiday.

• Some family traditions were either set aside or left to others to fulfill.
• I put up the Christmas tree in September, because originally, my transplant was to be in October  (and then it was changed to December, and ultimately January)!
• I didn't have much energy, so I only put up one fourth of my holiday decor... and found I didn't miss the other things.
• I only made half of the holiday foods and treats I usually would make.
• We didn't put up out complicated outdoor Nativity display—disappointing our neighbors, but necessary.

During that December, I thought a lot about what makes Christmas — "Christmas."

This year, I prayed and decided to allow God to show me what is important, and what are simply "stress-builders." 

As a recovering perfectionist, I thought I had given all my expectations to the Lord, but I soon discovered my desires for the "perfect Christmas" still demanded my attention. And those unreasonable desires created stress.

That had to change.

God may bring certain stresses into our lives with purpose—usually to teach us something or mature us in our faith. But most of our stresses are of our own doing.

God wants to help us reduce or eliminate unnecessary stresses at Christmas. The Christmas season affords us many choices.

Here's how the Lord spoke to my heart.

Intentional CHOICES Can Eliminate Holiday Stress

1. Settle Who’s in Charge.

I've noticed how many of us would absolutely say, "Jesus is Lord," but we might not allow Him to take control of our Christmas celebration. We know what we want to do—why consult Him?

How ironic that we celebrate the One who came to lead us into peace, joy and love; and yet when we "take charge" we often leave Him out. And we can end up with stress and all sorts of other emotional issues.

Jesus said, "apart from Me, you can do nothing" (John 15:5), but we think we're more than capable of handling the holidays without even a simple prayer for His guidance and help.

The Lord wants to help us with our Christmas plans and relieve our stress, but we have to place our confidence in Him to know what is best for us and our families. We need to ask, listen, and obey.

Surrender your Christmas to the Lord; give Him your burdens and find rest (Matthew 11:28).

When we acknowledge God's sovereign control by faith, we may eliminate many of the holiday worries that cause us stress.

CHOOSE TRUST.

2. Stop Pursuing Perfectionism.

As I mentioned, perfectionism used to keep my head spinning. In pursuit of the "perfect" tree, dinner, gifts, etc., I pretty much ruined how I experienced so many Christmases.

No one and nothing is perfect on this earth. Only God is perfect.

We have expectations for ourselves and for others, and when those hopes or expectations aren't met, we can get heartsick with disappointment (Proverbs 13:12). (Worse, we can get angry when we don't get our way.)

I used to say, "Dawn, choose your battles at Christmas!"

Now I say, "Dawn, watch your expectations."

As we stop pursuing perfectionism, we can give everything our best effort and then relax. My new goal is to do my very best and leave the results to God.

There's nothing wrong with hard work and diligence toward a goal. That's not the same as perfectionism that drives and pressures us.

CHOOSE DILIGENCE.

3. Savor Simplicity.

Sometimes we get so elaborate, people and godly purposes get lost in the process.

Simplifying our lives is one of the best ways to remove stress.

Christmas isn't about complicated decorations and meals. It's about appreciating God's provisions and making memorable moments with the people we love.

Christmas memories are made in quiet chats with grandparents, fun baking sessions, walks in snow (or in San Diego, on the beach), drive in neighborhoods to see Christmas lights and other enjoyable moments. None of that needs to be complicated.

One of the unexpected sources of stress is the problem of "too much." I noticed something this year. I had so much Christmas decor put up, I lost sight of most of it.

It was a sparkly blur!

A wise fashion consultant once told me, "When you dress up to go out, before you go out the door, take off one piece of jewelry or accessory." She knew how easy it is to overdo, especially when we celebrate.

The concept of "less is more" works in fashion, home and Christmas decoration, and so many other areas of life.

God wants us to be content with what we have (1 Timothy 6:8) and be appreciative of the powerful simplicity in the birth of Christ (Luke 2:11).

So realistically, we don't need much to enjoy Christmas. But also—partly because of Covid-19 restrictions—we don't need a full calendar. Yes, there will be activities, especially if we have grandchildren. But sometimes drinking a cup of cocoa in front of the fireplace or munching on a Christmas cookie while watching a timeless holiday movie is all we need.

CHOOSE CONTENTMENT.

4. Set Wise Boundaries.

Setting wise boundaries helps reduce stress. I want to focus on just three areas for boundaries.

(1) Watch your budget. 

We don't need to go beyond our means. When we overspend, we not only lose sight of wise choices now, we have to deal with the stress of bills after Chrismas! Set boundaries on your checkbook and credit cards!

Ask God for wisdom (James 1:5) in the use of resources—practice good stewardship.

We seldom need "more." We often need a greater appreciation for what we already have.

Instead of buying more decor this year, I reduced what I have. A local charity got three boxes full of decorations others might appreciate, and I plan to go through my possessions this week to find coats, sweaters, blankets, mittens and other items the homeless might need as the weather turns chilly.

(2) Cut the Clutter.

Look around your room after decorating for the holiday. Does it feel "fussy"—more like a Christmas shop of displays than a home? (I'm so guilty of the over-do at Christmas!)

I know this is an individual thing, and you may want to keep heirlooms and antiques; but if your decor feels like clutter or even hoarding, rethink what you're keeping. You may need to set some boundaries for new purchases—after you cut the clutter now!

Christmas, like life, does not consist of an abundance of things (see Luke 12:15).

Notice the things that may still be in Christmas storage boxes or tubs. Why are they here? If they're not being used, do you really need them?

If you feel your decor is beyond healthy boundaries, here are a few ideas to pare down.

• Take pictures of groupings of items and email or text those photos to family members to see if they want some of your items. (You're just checking, not pressuring.)
• Can some things (good quality) be re-gifted?
• Consider giving to a charity where people can purchase decor at low cost, or use your "treasures" as gifts.
• Note: Sometimes taking a photo for a photo book to preserve and trigger memories can be just as satisfying as keeping the actual thing.

Simplifying by reducing or eliminating things—even well past Christmas—is a good way to get rid of a subtle kind of stress.

(3) Examine your relationships.

In some families, unhealthy relationships are strained throughout the year, and at Christmas, that stress can go over the top!

Set healthy boundaries, even with those you love.

• There's nothing wrong with valuing your time and doing what is best for you and your family. Don't be afraid to be clear about your time, needs or familiy's needs.
• Be kind and gentle (Ephesians 4:32; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7); but don't be afraid to say "no," when necessary.
• Antipate how relationship issues might trigger problems when you get together, and come up with good strategies to make these sticky interactions less stressful.
• Read scriptures about the tongue before Christmas—like "a gentle answer turns away wrath"(Proverbs 15:1)—because good communication goes a long way.)

We can make many wise choices when it comes to spending, our possessions, and relationships. God's Word has practical instruction.

CHOOSE DISCERNMENT.

5. Seek Moderation.

We tend to excuse bad habits during the holidays, thinking over-indulgence will lead to more joy. But overstuffed tummies and late-night binge-watching set us up for physical stress that don't help us.

Wise choices help us avoid upset stomachs and bleary eyes.

What we need is self-restraint, self-control. We can still rejoice and celebrate while practicing moderation (Philippians 4:4-5; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

• Yes, we can enjoy a reasonable meal and beverage—small portions; waiting between bites; focusing on people more than the food.
• Yes, we can have dessert—leaving room for it as we enjoy our meal.
• Yes, we can plan opportunities for special Christmas programs—but beware of mindless eating on the couch!

If we seek ways to practice moderation in our celebration, we'll likely be glad we did.

CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL.

6. See Christmas through Others’ Eyes.

It's easy to turn inward and only see our own circumstances. It helps to pause and think about others who have needs too. How can we relieve their stresses?

First, if you have children, intentionally take time to discuss the holiday with them.

• Many children are struggling during the coronavirus. Are they feeling additional stress this Christmas? Can you relieve some of their stress?
• What makes Christmas special for them? More than how many gifts they get (or how big), what activities with you will make these weeks memorable?
• How can you better help them embrace the true meaning of Christmas? How can you help them understand that because Jesus came, we have hope and help.

When it comes to gifts, be careful not to stoke unreasonable or unhealthy expectations. Focus on loving your children, not showering them with "more." Love may include giving, but love does not equal things.

Also, ask God to help you see other people through HIS eyes. Then, as you move through the season, determine to see Christmas through the eyes of those around you:

• a weary or struggling spouse,
• family members who have experienced loss,
• a needy family in your church,
• a homeless person or family,
• a widow or widower,
• an orphan,
• an elderly shut-in or someone who is sick,
• someone deployed in the military, or
• a single person who might be lonely.

Because of Covid-19, many are hurting. Some feel desperate. Many have lost family members or jobs.

Be kind and compassionate, ready to counsel and comfort others during the holiday (2 Corinthians 1:3-4; Colossians 3:12).

CHOOSE LOVE.

We don't have to "sweat" the holidays because of stress. We can relax and choose biblical responses like trust, diligence, contentment, discernment, self-control and love that will bring us a greater measure of joy and peace.

What is causing you stress so far this holiday season? Which biblical response could help you today?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, at Revive Our Hearts, a blogger at TrueWoman.com, writes wiki-type posts at  Christianity.com, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Help for a Holiday Inversion

I always love the way Julie Sanders calls us to serenity rather than struggle, and peace rather than pressure. In this Christmas UPGRADE, Julie calls us to a more "heavenly" perspective.

"If it’s the 'most wonderful time of the year,'" Julie says, "why do I feel the reverse? How do I get out from under the pressure?"

This is a different holiday season for me (Dawn) this year because of illness—but oh, how I remember my typical stressful holidays in years past.

The Lord is teaching me better priorities, but I want to learn from Julie's wisdom too.

Julie continues . . .

Northern regions like my hometown often experience a winter weather inversion. In a reversal of what’s normal, the air closest to earth weighs down air above. The resulting soup-like atmosphere becomes thick with dust, smoke, and pollutants.

Though it seems like it should rain, conditions prevent cleansing relief. Underneath the cloud cap, air Temperature Inversion over Almaty, Kazakhstanpressure builds and may even become turbulent. Stagnation warnings keep people inside, making them crave fresh air. Confusion sets in as heavy haze descends over the layer where life is lived, pushing out crisp, clear air.  

Sandwiched between days of giving thanks and celebrating Christ’s coming, the holiday season happens in the layer of life-soup.

We may be overcome by “too many things,” even good things.

Surrounded by information, requests, needs, and issues in our environment, a layer of oppression may move in and overhang our joy. Movies to magazines, cards to choirs, they tell us it’s normal to be full of joy. But many of us feel weighed down.

Like a reversal of weather, conditions collide and press in, creating confusion and turbulence.

It may feel FAR from wonderful.

When we live and breathe the earthly, it gets heavy.

Compromised visibility makes it hard to see life clearly. Pressure builds into holiday heaviness and lost hope.

If you can’t shake the feeling it shouldn’t be this way, let the strong wind of the life-giving Holy Spirit blow away the "life-soup" choking out joy.

The Bible describes the Holy Spirit as a wind as early as Genesis 1:2. Like wind is unseen but with powerful impact, so the Holy Spirit is a powerful, invisible force not controlled by people, but impacting people. The same Greek word describes the wind and the Spirit.

“The wind (pneuma) blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit (pneuma)” (John 3:8).

Between days to give thanks and give gifts, it’s easy to give out. We want to breathe in the heavenly, but we’re under the hold of what’s here.

The Holy Spirit can help turn our eyes toward heaven in the holidays.

In 1952, London Smog was so “lethal” that thousands died. In a five-day weather inversion, so many died that the city ran out of flowers and coffins. It wasn’t until a strong wind pushed out the stagnation that the city could breathe again.

If we settle in to a life layer where God’s peace is replaced by pressure, we risk long-term impact.

• Staying in stagnate air makes us sick.
• Staying in a stagnate state of heart and mind makes us sick.

A holiday season lived in "life-soup" produces poor visibility, pressure and fatigue. Let the strong wind of the Holy Spirit blow in and blow away the heaviness.

Make space for the heavenly.

Let God’s Spirit lift your earthly focus and refresh you with the life you’re meant to know during the “most wonderful time of the year”—and all year.

How would your holiday to-do list look different if you stopped and asked the Holy Spirit to shape it with a heavenly perspective?

Julie Sanders loves lifting women who lead. She’s the author of The ABCs of Praying for Students and Expectant, a devotional for new and expectant moms. Julie finds joy in helping moms find purpose and peace on their motherhood journeys. She writes from her online base at juliesanders.org.

Meme graphic adapted—"Christmas Tree Images"—courtesy of Angelina Jollivet at Unsplash.com.

Weather Inversion photo - Igors Jefimovs for Wikipedia.

5 Tips to Jumpstart Your Holidays

The first thing I learned about Marcia Ramsland is, she cares about people. The second thing I learned is, because she cares, she creates constructive ways to help them. In this Christmas UPGRADE, she encourages us to jumpstart our holiday preparations so we can experience peace at Christmas and not stress.

“If you do anything more than once in life,” Marcia says, “organize it and simplify it. That’s especially true for the holidays that come year after year like clockwork!”

I (Dawn) have learned so many things from reading Marcia's books, and appreciate this approach ... because they work!

Marcia continues . . .

After staying up late Christmas Eve to wrapping presents for years, I finally figured out “The Holiday Plan” to simplify the whole season! Now we all get a good night’s sleep at Christmas.

You can, too!

To get you started on the right foot for the busy Holiday Season, here are “5 Tips to Jumpstart Your Holidays.”

1) Look Ahead and Mark Your Calendar.

Mark family celebration dates, guests coming, vacation days, holiday parties, church concerts, plays, and annual holiday events you enjoy. Post the calendar where you can see it regularly—like in your kitchen.

This is a unique time of year you need especially good planning skills.

2) Schedule 2 Hour Segments of Weekly Holiday “Prep” Time.

Schedule weekly shopping time online or in the mall, cleaning house, decorating. Schedule Thursday nights for shopping, Saturday for baking and decorating, and Sunday afternoon for wrapping presents.

3) Write a Master Gift List on One Form.

Pull out your gift list from last year to create a duplicate. Don't have one? Download my annual  FREE Master Gift List  to stay organized with your ideas, purchases, and budgets. Use it every year to keep your ideas organized.

4) Make the Most of Your Limited Time.

Combine your limited social time by inviting friends to an upcoming event and getting together for dinner ahead of time or dessert afterwards.

Create a memory on one night instead of two.

5) Sort Your Holiday Decorations Early.

Sort your Holiday decorations when you put them up the first weekend in December.

Immediately donate what you don’t put up to a charity so you can help someone else have a light and bright Christmas.

Planning is powerful! And with a good plan and your eye on the calendar, you can simplify your holiday season. Every year over 800 people download my week-by-week holiday planning calendars and Master Gift List to put in the front pocket of their Holiday planning book, Simplify Your Holiday Season (see book link, below).

Instead of playing “catch-up” and feeling stressed, you will experience freedom and calm.

This year with your advanced planning you can say—like the angelic heavenly host who praised God when they appeared to the shepherds—“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom His favor rests” (Luke 2:13-14).

Be sure to bring the Lord into the midst of your holiday preparations.

You might pray:

Dear God, today as I work on preparing my heart and home for Christmas, may I reflect on the events of the first Christmas and find strength in knowing you have a special plan for my holidays this year. I ask you turn my mental chaos into calm with your presence every day. Amen!

What will you do better this year to ease the stress of the holiday season?

Marcia Ramsland is known as The Holiday Coach, author of “Simplify Your Holiday Season” planning book and “Simply December Devotions” devotional. Download your FREE Holiday Planning Calendar and Master Gift List and join her weekly Monday Holiday Class at www.OrganizingPro.com/holidays.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of morguefile.

Upgrading Your 'Pinterest Perfect' Christmas Season

Morgan Farr is a young, highly-motivated wife and mom and her passion to help women build physical, emotional and spiritual strength makes me smile. In this unique Christmas UPGRADE, Morgan shares a personal story that changed her perspective.

Morgan says, "As a new mom and a recovering perfectionist, I was in search of a 'Pinterest perfect' Christmas season until God reminded me of what really matters."

I (Dawn) have felt that pressure to be "perfect" at Christmas. Haven't you? That pressure does not make for peace! Thank the Lord, there's a better way.

Morgan continues . . .  

Normally, Christmas is a beautiful time. The music, the juxtaposition of the red and green—it just gives a warm and delicious feeling.

This time last year was an especially beautiful time of the year for me because our first son, William, was born. It was such a sweet and lovely time.

But this year is a little different. I recently learned:

God will humble us exactly where we need it—even during the holiday seasons.  

Let me set the stage for you. I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with our second son, Henry, and I have been experiencing some morning sickness.

Recently, I was getting ready for my group of ladies to come to my home for Bible study and some holiday festivities.

Now, I should clarify that I like for my home to be spotless when the ladies arrive. I color coordinate for the season we are in, I have coffee and tea available, and I always have some kind of little snack for the ladies as well.

On this particular morning, my son needed a diaper change. As I changed him, I got hit with a horrible bout of morning sickness. I left my son clean but naked on the floor as I ran to the sink to be sick.

I didn’t quite make it.

Instead I was sick on my son, on the floor, on part of the wall and the snacks that I made for my ladies.

My son proceeded to play in the mess, and then grab onto my leg with his dirty little hand. So my outfit was ruined, the snacks were ruined, and my son was crawling around the house naked smearing vomit on the floor. My husband came downstairs to help and all I could get out was a strained, “catch the baby!”  

My friends were so understanding when they arrived, yet I was irritated I had ruined our holiday festivities. And that is when God humbled me. He used this gross little episode to teach me what is important in the holiday season. Yes, God used morning sickness and a toddler to teach me the meaning of Christmas.

This is what I learned: 

1) We have to recognize that it is all about Jesus.

The Christmas season isn’t about the wrapping paper. It doesn’t matter that I have a beautiful centerpiece on my table if I let people leave our Christmas party without the knowledge that Jesus is their Savior. Without Him, they are bound for hell (Matthew 25:46).

The Christmas story isn’t awesome because of the story itself, but rather for the story that follows 33 years later when that little baby grew up and died on the cross for us.    

2) We have to recognize that it can’t be perfect. 

Until we are reunited with God in heaven, nothing here can be perfect.

Jesus was born in a manger, and it's not the pretty scenes you see in yards during the holiday season. He spent his first two years in Egypt hiding from Herod who wanted to kill him. Not pretty.

No amount of red, green, and gold at the holiday season will cover up the reality that we live in a world of sin, and this world is temporary (2 Corinthians 4:18).

3) We have to recognize that God loves us anyway.

God doesn’t love us because we are perfect. The fact is, we aren’t.

God loves us because of what His one and only Son did for us (Galatians 1:4). When Christ died and rose from the dead, He defeated Satan and his evil plans for the world. Through Christ’s death and resurrection, we have been invited into the Kingdom as a child of God.

Oh, how much He loves us!

God used a toddler, morning sickness and a Bible study to remind me of the point of this holiday season.

What about you? What things do you need to let go of to keep focused on Jesus during this holiday season?

Morgan Farr is an Army wife currently stationed at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, with her wonderful husband Brian. They currently have two children, one-year-old William, and Henry, who they will welcome in April. Morgan is a homemaker who dedicates her free time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one interactions and physical training. She writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood on her blog, The Forgiven Former Feminist. You can find her thoughts on fitness, health and training programs on her other blog,  Farr Functional Fitness.  

Graphic adapted from a photo at Pixabay.

Holiday Time: Keeping It Together

Like most of us, Diane Dean is a busy woman, and she understands how the holiday season adds extra stress. But she offers helpful tips for “keeping it together” as we move toward these celebrations.

“You can be organized for the holidays,” Diane says. “No kidding!”

Organized? What if a woman doesn’t feel all that organized? What if organization is foreign to her skills and gifting? Is there hope for her?

Diane continues …

Trying to get rid of never ending list of tasks? Christmas time can be fun and exciting, especially if there are children or grandchildren in your life. However, it can also be a stressful time dealing with family issues, finding time to decorate, the added expense of gifts, and a busy schedule. 

Let me share a number of things that help me stay organized and keep my sanity.

1. Start your day with Scripture. It gives a positive mind set and peace knowing that things in this life are temporal. 

2. Pray and ask the Lord to guide your day because it is bound to change.

3. Look at the needs of others and how you can add joy to someone's life. It takes the focus on any issues you may be facing. Things can always be worse. The more you look at the lives of others, the more you will appreciate the life you have.  

4. The night before you go to bed, make a list for tomorrow’s tasks. Categorize it into:

Have to do. (List things in order of importance and, if driving, map your route so you don't back track.)

Good to do, if possible.

Can wait for another time.

A little tip: It has been proven if your bed is made and bedroom is picked up before you start your day, you will feel more organized.  

5. Plan your menu for the week. Make a shopping list to make sure you have the ingredients you need so you don't have to run to the store at the last minute.  

6. Make a list of extra groceries you need for a party or holiday dinner. When you grocery shop, add a few extras each time instead of buying everything at once. It keeps from having a large grocery bill in one trip. It seems more manageable. Using coupons makes it even better.

7. Cook some ground beef and poultry and freeze it. That gives a jump start on casseroles.  

8. Double a recipe and freeze half. It will give you a meal for a busy day.

9. Set your table when you empty the dishwasher. It looks nice and saves a step at dinner.

10. Start a load of wash at bed time. You can throw it in the dryer while you get dressed in the morning. Fold it when the dryer stops and you will feel like you already accomplished something.

11. While on the phone, dust, clean a drawer, or do some mending. I like to iron when I have phone calls to catch up on. I use my cell phone and a blue tooth so I am hands-free. It is amazing how quickly my ironing seems to get done!

12. When you bring your Christmas gifts home, wrap them right away. Keep gift wrap handy in an under the bed container and you can pull it out and wrap your gifts on the bed. (The kids aren't as likely to snoop if the gifts are wrapped!)

13. Find time for your family. Plan it into your day. If you are alone, call someone you love to see how they are.  

These are just a few ideas that will hopefully make your holidays less stressful.

Are you ready? Which of these "keeping it together" tips are you already implementing? Is there something new you can try to UPGRADE the Holiday season?

Diane Dean is a ministry wife, mother, grandmother, Bible teacher, seminar and retreat speaker, and designer for Diane Dean Interiors, LLC. Her blog, Diane's Traditions, is a potpourri of information from her personal experience and she welcomes questions.