When Circumstances Look Hopeless, Hope Prevails!

Dr. Michelle Bengtson was one of the first "strangers" who reached out to me when I was going through my Myeloma journey in 2019. It didn't take long for me to count her as a new friend. Her posts about hope encouraged me for many months.

In this special Hope UPGRADE, she tells us a little about her own journey, and encourages us to hold onto hope in our own tough circumstances."When everything around me looked hopeless," Michelle says, "hope was all I had to hang onto."

Like Michelle, I (Dawn) believe hope is no small thing to hang onto! It is solid. It can be counted on—because our hope is in the God of Hope!

Michelle continues . . .

My husband and I were on the way to his oncologist appointment. As he drove, my cell phone rang. Across the screen scrolled my doctor’s name and phone number.

Thinking they were just calling to confirm an upcoming appointment I had scheduled, I answered and was greeted with the words no one ever expects nor wants to hear—“I hate to have to tell you this, Dr. Bengtson, but you have cancer. We need to schedule you for surgery.”

Wait. What? This must be a mistake.

They must have the wrong person. I’m healthy.

We’re on our way to see my husband’s doctor. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had been given another bad report, but me?

“Dr. Bengtson? We need to schedule surgery. Would now be a convenient time to do that?”

I could hardly think straight, much less talk on the phone and access my calendar.

“Um, I’m sorry. I’m going to have to call you back.”

As my husband and I sat in the waiting room of his oncologist’s office, we sat in silence, holding hands. Neither of us needed to say anything… we knew what the other was thinking, and words wouldn’t change anything.

In as short as a minute, my mind started going down the “what if?” rabbit trail. But I knew how very counterproductive that usually was.

I had just written my book, “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises,” and turned it in to my publisher two weeks before.

As I sat in silence, I thought,

“You have just written the script for the next phase of your journey. Either you can go down the slippery slope of worry, fear, and anxiety, or you can choose to trust God and remain in His peace. This did not take God by surprise, and He already knows how He’s going to help you navigate your future.”

In that moment, a calm assurance came over me consistent with Philippians 4:7 (NIV), “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

There was no earthly explanation.

There was no earthly explanation for the peace I felt. It had to have come from God.

As time progressed, I underwent surgery, and began treatment. My approach during that time was different than most. I told my doctor that I didn’t want to know how many treatment cycles she expected, because I didn’t want to wish my life away, waiting for treatment to be over.

I wanted to wake up every day thankful that God gave me a new day, and ask Him how He wanted me to spend it.

As I went through treatment—while my husband dealt with his own cancer—life could have felt very hopeless. Yet through my husband’s first bout of cancer, we were told by doctors to get our affairs in order because he wasn’t going to live.

The doctors were wrong, and God had another plan.

Through that experience, I learned that doctors diagnose and make their best guestimate, but the Lord’s report is the one that I choose to listen to and hold onto.

Jeremiah 29:11 assures us,

“'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”

Because I could look back over my life and see God’s faithfulness so many times before, in this new journey, when life seemed hopeless, hope in God was all I had, and it was enough.

I learned that when live seems hopeless, there are ways to hold onto hope:

1. Think back on your life, and record previous times when God was faithful to you.
2. Look in the Bible for examples of when God was faithful then.
3. Turn off the negative outside influences like the news and media and, instead, listen to praise and worship music.
4. Write down promises in Scripture that apply to your situation.
5. Pray and ask God to give you a greater measure of faith.
6. Repeatedly thank God in advance for what He is going to do.

Jesus warned us that in this world, we would experience trials, but because of Him, hope prevails!

How will you maintain your hope when you face seemingly hopeless situations?

Dr. Michelle Bengtson is an international speaker, and author of the award-winning Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey through Depression, the award-winning companion, Hope Prevails Bible Study, and Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises. A neuropsychologist in private practice for more than 20 years, this doctor knows pain and despair firsthand. She combines her professional expertise and personal experience with her faith to address her patients’ issues—both for those who suffer and the ones who care for them. Michelle blogs regularly on her own site and is the popular podcast show host of “Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson.”

Hope When It Hurts

I've read a lot of articles about hope lately, and many of them were "fluff," but Shonda Savage Whitworth's article is deep truth, because it comes from a deep rooting in the Word of God. In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she encourages us to seek true hope when we hurt.

"My dreams for my family’s future shattered when my oldest son was sentenced to prison," Shonda says.

"His conviction demolished the good mother image I erected in my mind. With this image decimated, my emotions spiraled into a dark abyss."

I (Dawn) know several families with incarcerated children, and they all deal with tough issues, some struggling everyday with hope.

Shonda continues . . .

After my son began his life in state prison, my life of being held captive by guilt, shame, and condemnation started. Despair enveloped me like a heavy fog keeping the light from shining in my life.

We read in Proverbs:

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs 13:12, NLT).

The anguish gave way to hopelessness, and I was diagnosed “situational adjustment disorder,” which is a classification of anxiety and depression.

My personal life stalled while the world around me moved forward.

While the life I had and the future I expected dissipated, I knew I could not remain stuck in the sorrow. My family needed me to be present in their lives.

This realization allowed a ray of sunshine to peek through the fog of despair and I encouraged myself in the Lord, just as David did when he was greatly distressed. 

Here are three ways I found hope when it hurt.

1. Praising God

In my pain, I played worship music and sang along to praise the Lord. Many times, the words to the worship songs triggered tears, so I just cried out, “No matter what, You are God.”

Dr. John G. Mitchell wrote, “To give thanks when you don’t feel like it is not hypocrisy; it’s obedience.”

Hebrews 13:15 tells us, “Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name” (NKJV).

There are times when giving thanks out of obedience is a sacrifice, but the reward is worth it.

Through worship, my focus turned to the Lord and off of my circumstances. As a result, new hope poured into my spirit.

2. Meditating on the Word

A colleague told me, “Shonda, be sure you put your hope in God because man will fail you.” In hindsight, I realized that I put my hope in the attorney and the justice system instead of God.

To pull myself out of the darkness, I read the Bible daily and Scriptures about hope popped up. As I meditated on the word, I learned hope in God is our expectation in what He can do, not what I can do or what any other person does.

Then I came across Zechariah 9:12:

“Return to your fortress, you prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you” (NIV).

At that moment,

I chose to be a prisoner of hope instead of a prisoner of despair.

As a prisoner of hope, I released my expectations of man and the system and placed my confidence in the Lord.

3. Praying

Before the tragic events unfolded that led to my son’s imprisonment, my prayer was “Lord, I ask You to hedge him in so he cannot follow his own path” (based on Hosea 2:6).

I believed my prodigal son would find his way home. Instead, he went to prison.

During the months leading up to the trial, I prayed for my son’s freedom. After his conviction, my hope dissolved and my desire to pray evaporated.

As I meditated on Scriptures, Jesus taught the disciples to pray, “Your will be done” (Matthew 6:10) And Jesus prayed, “nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done” (Luke 22:42).

My prayers were the opposite, so I began to pray like Jesus taught and modeled. As a result, my perspective changed.

I now see how prison saved my son’s life—both in the eternal and in the natural.

In my hurt, I found hope as I offered up the sacrifice of praise, meditated on the Word of God daily, and prayed God’s will.

Through these daily disciplines,

• the fog of despair lifted,
• my good mother image has been replaced with knowing who I am in Christ,
• and my life is moving forward filled with joy and peace as I know God, my source of hope.

If you’ve lost hope due to hurtful circumstances in your life, my prayer for you is from Romans 15:13:

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit” (NLT).

Are you struggling with hope today? Which of these three ways to find hope when you hurt is missing or lacking in your life? How can you change that today?

Shonda Savage Whitworth is the founder and president of Fortress of Hope Ministries, Inc., giving hope to those with incarcerated family members. She is a speaker and author who connects with her audiences through her transparent testimony of personal tribulations and triumphs in Christ. Her book, Appeal to the Courts of Heaven: Prayers for Prisoners and Prison Families, is scheduled to release in the fall of 2019. You can read more about Shonda’s unexpected prison family journey on her blog

Graphic adapted, courtesy ofLechenie Narkomanii at Pixabay.

Living Beyond the 'But'

Kolleen Lucariello always makes me think outside the box, spiritually. In this Christmastime, Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she considers two people God used, in His own timing, to help prepare the way for Jesus' first coming.

"I’ve never been a fan of the 'but'," Kolleen says. "Well, that’s not entirely true; I can handle “but then God” moments; however, the 'but' that follows an apology? The one that says, 'I’m sorry I… but you.' No thank you.

'Equally as unappealing is the 'but' that attaches to you, becoming the heartache of your story."

When I (Dawn) think abut the situations in my own life where the word "but" stopped me in my tracks spiritually and in my writing, I know what Kolleen's saying is true. I needed more faith and hope!

Kolleen continues . . .

Luke wrote about a couple who had a "but" attached to their story—Zechariah and Elizabeth, the parents of John the Baptist.

It would seem as though they were the couple rocking at life. Zechariah was a Jewish priest serving in the temple, and his wife, Elizabeth, was a direct descendant of Aaron.

“They were both lovers of God, living virtuously and following the commandments of the Lord fully” (Luke 1:5-6, TPT).

They were the couple we look at today and think, Wow. They’ve got it all! Prestige from the family name, and they were solid believers, living righteously before the Lord.

Yet, behind everything they were doing right was one word they couldn’t escape—"but."

The "but" holding them hostage?

“But they were childless since Elizabeth was barren, and now they both were quite old” (Luke 1:7, TPT—The Passion Translation—emphasis mine).

I’m fairly certain Elizabeth would’ve given anything to escape the pain of the "but."

In a culture where great significance was placed on motherhood, one word stole that from her.

• "But" took away her ability to present her husband with a son, and replaced it with shame.
• "But" also took away Zechariah’s ability to believe the angel, Gabriel, when he appeared to him and gave him the exciting news he was indeed going to be a dad.

The "but" had followed them for so long, doubt took over the prayerful heart that once held hope.

That can happen to anyone who has found but attached to his or her story. "But" has followed a good many faithful prayers of the righteous.

Perhaps you:

• prayed faithfully for your children, and raised them in a home that honors God, but you’re still waiting for the return of the prodigal.
• pray faithfully for your marriage to find healing and restoration, but have yet to see any hope of change.
• fought hard for that job, but lost it anyway.

Like Zechariah and Elizabeth, have prayed for your womb to hold a baby, but the pregnancy test was negative one more time.

The "but" behind our hopes can be a painful word—one we’d like to escape, but can’t—even in our attempts to do everything right.

Like many we think: I’ve prayed. I’ve done everything I knew to do. I’ve tried to live righteously, BUT I don’t see, I don’t feel, and I don’t hear.

Hope can be hard to hold on to when we focus on the "but" of our story.

It’s easy to get lost in disappointment.

However, part of Gabriel’s message to Zechariah was that his son would arrive at the appointed time (Luke 1:20).

Not their time—the appointed time.

Who knows the appointed time? Only God. And until that time comes we must live in the "so it was" like Zechariah and Elizabeth did.

“So it was that while he was serving ... his lot fell (to him) to burn incense" (Luke 1:8 NKVJ, emphasis mine).

Even though they dragged a "but" behind them for all these years, they remained faithful to serve the Lord. It was in this particular moment of serving that the angel showed up.

Imagine if Zechariah had missed it, because he decided to give up on God for not answering their prayer—in their time. God knew the plan for John was to prepare the way for Jesus (Matthew 3).

It was all in the timing.   

We upgrade our lives when, regardless of the "but" attached to our story, we live with hope in the "so it was."

1. So it was—she prayed without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
2. So it was—even with the evidence of things not seen, she still had faith in what she hoped for (Hebrews 11:1).
3. So it was—she refused to lean on her own understanding, and instead trusted in the timing of the Lord (Proverbs 3:5).

What is the "but" attached to you, and how are you managing your faith in the "so it was" moment?

Kolleen Lucariello, #TheABCGirl, is the author of the devotional book, The ABC's of Who God Says I Am; and as a speaker, she speaks into women's lives "one letter at a time." Kolleen and her high school sweetheart, Pat, reside in Central New York. She's a mother of three married children and Mimi to four incredible grandkids. For more information about Kolleen, visit her website.