Community in the Time of COVID-19

Morgan Farr is a strong voice for biblical truth and practical Christian living. In this Spiritual Life and Ministry UPGRADE, she reminds us of the strength found in Christian community, especially during tough times like the coronavirus pandemic.

"Social distancing and isolation can be incredibly lonely." Morgan says.

"Many people all over the country are feeling the strain of Covid-19 on their lives and relationships. But it doesn’t have to be that way!"

I (Dawn) have watched lonely neighbors struggle during the coronavirus pandemic. This isn't the time for Christians to hunker down, but rather to reach out to them. There are ways to safely minister to others—especially to the "household of faith" (Galatians 6:10).

Morgan continues . . .

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said,

“Every Christian community must realize that not only do the weak need the strong, but also that the strong cannot exist without the weak.

"The elimination of the weak is the death of fellowship.”

The good news is that we live in an age of incredible technology, allowing us to still communicate despite the separation! 

As Christians, we should still have the best community out there.

Here is how to maintain community during the Covid-19 social distancing without needing fancy online technology or computer access.   

1. Make a List.

The very first thing I did to prepare for social distancing was to make a list of all the people that I wanted to stay in contact with. This list included people from my Bible studies, moms from our homeschool co-op and distant family members.

I have:

• a list of people that I text every single morning,
• a list of people I text on Sundays, and
• a list of people that I am sending snail mail to multiple times per month.   

Who can you reach out to today?

2. Set an Alarm.

A list is great, but how do you remember to look at your list?

• I set an alarm on my iPhone labeled “Text the Love” for my daily check in,
• I set an alarm for “Love on the Lord’s Day” for the Sunday texts.
• I set an alarm that just has an emoji of a snail for naptime on Saturdays to write my letters and cards.

When the alarm goes off, I do the activity.

No pauses; no snoozing the alarms.  

3. Reach Out.

If you are feeling lonely or having a hard time, do not hesitate to reach out to people in the body of Christ.

I know the diaconate at our local church is working tirelessly to be available to the church via phone, Zoom, FaceTime and more.

Titus 2:2-8 says, 

"Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.

"Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

"Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.

"In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us."

If you are in need of someone to talk to, contact your local church, and ask to be put in contact with an elder or deacon.

Let the elder men and women of the church love and instruct you. It is what God has called them to do!

Finally, in this time of social distancing, don’t distance yourself from God.

• Maintain your quiet time,
• be in the Word of God every single day,
• memorize scripture, and
• pray as much as you can.

This is a scary time for many people, but for the followers of Jesus Christ we know that this is just a part of the story, and that it is all in God’s hands!  

Who can you reach out to today? 

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is working to better love her husband, develop her three (soon to be four!) small children, and learn more about homeschool. Morgan is a homemaker dedicating her time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one mentoring, and physical training. She writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood at The Forgiven Former Feminist.

Upgrade Your Self-Care

Morgan Farr is a wife and mom who's always on the go. In this Self-Care UPGRADE, she asks us to consider what self-care looks like, especially from a biblical perspective.

“Self-care is all the rage right now,” Morgan says. “When you type ‘self-care” into Google, there are over 3,980,000,000 results! People are desperate for an understanding of what it is, how to do it and when we need it.”  

I (Dawn) feel I need some self-care right now. With everyone sheltering in place with the coronavirus, it's too easy to lounge around in pajamas. But I know I need to stay intentional about so many things—including wise self-care.

Morgan continues . . . 

Self-care is defined as “an activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Although it’s a simple concept in theory, it’s something we very often overlook. Good self-care is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety.” 

When I went to Pinterest to get ideas on what self-care looks like practically, I was bombarded with everything from “paint your nails” to “take the vacation.”

I am going to share my Top Five Tips on how to Upgrade Your Self-Care.

1. Stick to a Schedule.

The primary challenge that a lot of people struggle with is when to have “me time”—or self-care time—simply because they don’t know how to fit it all in.

If you are following a schedule, you can see where the gaps are to allow you time for self-care.

It may be difficult in the beginning, and you will need to start small. Scheduling in 15 minutes somewhere in your day just takes creativity.

The more that you do it, the easier it will be. 

2. Create a Code.

The second challenge that I saw was knowing what to DO for “self-care.” This will look different for different people, depending on their interests.

What I did was create a list of 10 activities that make me feel refreshed. When I am ready for self-care, I pick one of the items off the list. 

Here is what my list looks like:

• Reading one chapter in a book,
• Sketching,
• Reading my Bible,
• Going for a walk,
• Relaxing in a bubble bath,
• Crocheting,
• Sewing,
• Scrapbooking,
• Listening to a CD, or
• Listening to an audiobook.  

3. Recognize the Reality.

This is the part where people say, “I have small children; I can’t do everything on this self-care checklist from Pinterest!”

And I would say, you are right!

Be realistic about your season of life, finances and ability level when you start to practice self-care.

I saw a list of self-care items that recommended going rock climbing outdoors. Sure, it sounds fun. But if you have never done it before and you don’t have the gear, that probably isn’t the best place to start for self-care. Instead start small.

Love to read?

Hit the library to save money on books.

Love to craft?

Check out the clearance section of your local craft store. Check out YouTube for free tutorials and inspiration.

Also, recognize that if you are in the season of little children, it may be all that you can do to sit alone in a room and read one chapter in a book.

And that is 100% OK. (I’ve been there, it does get better!)  

4. Filter Out the Funk.

I am going to say something super unpopular here.

We consume a LOT of funky stuff and call it “self-care.”

I don’t care who you are, sitting down to binge watch “Game of Thrones” or the newest true crime documentary is NOT self-care. 

Now, before you freak out, let me phrase it this way: would you say smoking is self-care? 

No way! It is bad for you. It causes cancer.

Watching violent and sex-saturated television is the exact same thing. Philippians 4:8 says,

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” 

If you are filling your mind with funky stuff that does not meet the Philippians 4:8 criteria, it is going to rot your heart and mind.

Stop and think about what you are ingesting with your television shows and movies.

Would you be comfortable watching it on the big screen in front of your entire church?

If not, you probably shouldn’t be watching it at all.

5. Praise the Prince of Peace.

Philippians 4:6-7 says,

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” 

If you are trying to find freedom from anxiety and you are looking for peace, no amount of painting your nails or going for a walk can compare to knowing Jesus, the Prince of Peace. 

As human beings, we spend a lot of time trying to make ourselves feel better. As believers, we cannot expect worldly things to be able to give us the peace that surpass all understanding.

That kind of peace can only come from Jesus Christ.

Which step can you take today to upgrade your me-time? 

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is working to better love her husband, develop her three small children, and learn more about homeschool. Morgan is a homemaker dedicating her time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one mentoring, and physical training. She writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood at The Forgiven Former Feminist.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of StockSnap at Pixabay.

Upgrade Your Time with 'Littles'

Morgan Farr has always impressed me with her godly approach to coaching women, but I've also grown to appreciate her parenting skills. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she offers five ways to upgrade time with young children.

"If you hop on to any social media platform at any time of day you will see a TON of posts in the mom-of-littles realm," Morgan says.  

"I recently noticed a disturbing undercurrent of animosity among parents of young children… towards their children."

I (Dawn) know what Morgan says is true. The Bible says children are a heritage and gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3);  but sometimes—fueled by feminism, stresses in the culture or a me-first perspective—atttitudes toward parenting today are often discouraging.

Morgan continues . . .

If you want to see for yourself, check out the hashtag #kidsaretheworst on social media sites. Some of the posts are the silly antics of kids being kids. Other posts are the cries of people that are clearly overwhelmed with kids, and most of the posts are from parents.

These posts make me so incredibly sad, because it doesn’t have to be this way!

I want to share with you how to upgrade your time With "littles" to help avoid feeling like the hashtag is true.

I am not a parenting expert by any means. However, at one point I had three children under the age of three and my husband is active duty military, so most days it was just me and the kids.

The way I not only survived, but thrived, with three under three, was to use the SHRED method.

Upgrade with the S-H-R-E-D Method

1. Structure

Children flourish with routine and structure. Having a plan for your week and a layout for your daily schedule will help a child to know what is coming next.

If that is all too much to take on, start with bedtime. I consider bedtime to be the single most important structure in our day.

The CDC says 3- to 6-year-olds need between 10 and 12 hours of sleep per day! For our family, that means the children go to bed at 6:30pm every single day, with no exceptions.

Does that mean we miss out on some things? Sure, but it also means my kids get a full night’s sleep and that seriously cuts down misbehavior and tantrums.

2. Home

Take a look at the environment you and the kids are in.

Is it messy? Is it cluttered?

I know most adults feel anxious and stressed when they are in an environment like that. How can we expect kids to be calm?

I am not by any means saying that your home has to be spotless. What I mean is, can you tidy things up to create a space that is restful, even if it is just one room.

This is often where people say that they don’t have time to do that, but if you are practicing the structure and putting your kids down, spend 15 minutes doing a quick sweep of the house to get things back in their proper place before you slow down for the night.

3. Read

Reading is an easy way to set the tone for your kids.

Margaret Fuller said, “Today a reader, tomorrow a leader.” If you want your kids to be free thinkers, read to them often.

We have several places during the day where I have scheduled time for reading.

• At breakfast, we read a devotional geared towards science and how God made the Earth.
• In the car on the way to activities, we listen to chapter audiobooks.
• At tea time, we read poetry.
• At dinner time, we read a devotional for kids about the names of God.
• When I do bathtime, I set up the two not being bathed with audiobooks and a toy and they rotate.

Get creative! 

4. Educate

Education is completely different from reading.

Yes, you can become educated by reading, but reading isn’t all there is to education.

Help you kids have curious minds.

• When they ask why seeds grow, sprout some in your window.
• When they ask how electricity works, look up Youtube tutorials.
• When they ask about firemen, schedule a tour of your local fire department.

Inspire them to ask questions and teach them what it looks like to find the answers.

Help them to see God in everything, all around them, by learning about everything that interests them.

5. Diet

Anne Mulcahy said, “Investing in early childhood nutrition is a surefire strategy. The returns are incredibly high.”

Helping your children fuel their bodies well is crucial to helping them be healthy adults physically, mentally and emotionally.

Sugary breakfast cereals set kids up for a sugar crash at mid-morning. Sports drinks, soda, and sugar-filled juice rot children’s teeth and can contribute to dehydration.

Help your children see how important it is to treat their body like the temple that God gave them (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

• Allow your children to help you make healthy food choices.
• Let them help you cook in the kitchen.
• Model for them healthy body image by fueling your own body well.

Are kids a lot to deal with? Absolutely.

Are they worth it? Absolutely.

At the end of the day, you are in charge of the little people you are raising. God gave these little miracles to you.

Raise them to be people that you like and that you would want to be around.

What changes can you make to help you enjoy spending time with your little kids?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is working to better love her husband, develop her three small children, and learn more about homeschool. Morgan is a homemaker dedicating her time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one mentoring, and physical training. She writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood at The Forgiven Former Feminist.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Kevin Phillips at Pixabay.

3 Ways to Uplift a Military Family at Christmas

Along with her love for the Lord, I've come to love Morgan Farr's practical wisdom. In this special Christmas UPLIFT, she shares three ways we can all reach out to lift up a military family near us during the holiday season.

"One of my absolute favorite Christmas songs," Morgan says, "is Bing Crosby’s 'I’ll Be Home for Christmas.' I could listen to it a thousand times and not grow tired of it."

The one line in that song that always gets me (Dawn) is "I'll be home for Christmas if only in my dreams." I remember my own daddy when he was shipped overseas with the Navy. How he dreamed of being home with us around the tree.

Morgan continues . . .

The lyrics of this song are incredibly simple and yet it strikes a chord with me every holiday season, for a special reason.

We are a military family.

Each year at the holidays, service members and their families wait to find out if they will be home for Christmas.

Between deployments, TDYs, staff duty and being in the field, it is a toss up each year as to whether or not the service member will be able to be with their family around the tree on Christmas day.

Even if the service member is at home with their family for the holidays, this home usually means being far away from their extended family like grandparents, aunts and cousins.

This can make the holiday season extremely difficult for the servicemember, the spouse and the children.

Thankfully, brothers and sisters in Christ have the incredible gift of church family and community to help bridge the gap when service members are unable to be with family during the holidays.

I want to share with you—How To Bless a Military Family during the Holiday Season.  

1. Dish the Dirt

Tell the military family where all the best holiday activities are held locally.

We had a family tell us about a neat place called Christmas Circle while we were stationed in San Diego, and it was such a blessing to us!

Oftentimes, the military family is not familiar with the area they are stationed in. Play tour guide and help them have a memorable holiday experience.

• Where should they go to get a real Christmas tree?
• Is there a local holiday festival or parade?
• Does one of the churches nearby put on an awesome Christmas pageant?
• Where are the best Christmas light displays? 

2. Wrapping Party

I had a local friend invite me to come to her house and we wrapped Christmas gifts together.

We had eggnog, listened to Christmas music and wrapped gifts for our families. It was a blast!

If you can’t get together with your military friend, offer them the use of your extra wrapping paper, especially if they just moved in.

Finding all of your essentials when you unpack is hard enough, let alone trying to find wrapping paper!

3. Family Time

Invite them to your home for a holiday meal.

It doesn’t have to be fancy. In fact, last year my friend invited my family over for pizza and Christmas cookies right after Christmas and it was wonderful!

Play board games. Play in the snow. Read through the story of Christ’s birth. Let the military family participate in normal family activities. 

Matthew 25:35 says, “I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.”

Military life is hard on the regular, boring days. It is incredibly difficult at the holidays.

Military families are often treated like strangers, and it can be incredibly lonely.

Reach out to the military families in your town. Love on them in the name of Christ.

What can YOU do to help UPLIFT a military family this holiday season?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is working to better love her husband, develop her three small children, and learn more about homeschooling. Morgan is a homemaker dedicating her time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one mentoring and physical training. She writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood at The Forgiven Former Feminist.

Graphic adapted, Public Domain Pictures, courtesy of Pixabay.

Upgrade Your Homemaking with the 7Ps

Morgan Farr is a multi-talentd woman with great influence both biblically and practically. In this Homemaking UPGRADE, she applies a military concept to home skills for greater success.

“Prior Proper Planning Prevents Painfully Poor Performance,” Morgan says. “This is a saying that is often posted in military circles, often referred to as the 7Ps.”

I (Dawn) think that’s a mouthful and hard to say, but it certainly drives home an important point! 

Morgan continues . . .  

I have used my own version of the 7Ps to successfully run a military garage gym ministry, and I want to share my 7Ps of Homemaking. 

I have found that almost all of my stress in homemaking has been related to not having enough time or energy for a task. With my 7Ps for homemaking I am better able to manage my time and energy.

These are the Ps that I follow: 

• Planning and Preparation
• Pace and Play
• Pen, Pew and Prayer

1. Plan and Prepare

The first thing that I would recommend to anyone looking to upgrade their homemaking would be planning and preparation. These are crucial aspects of running a home well.

From planning the meals, doctors appointments, and vacations, to planning guest visits… homemakers plan a lot.

“Let everything be done decently and in order” (1 Corinthians 14:40).

Find a way that works for you and use it to help you plan and prepare well. 

While I am aware that there are a million calendar apps out there, I am still a paper planner kind of gal. I have a large wall calendar and a small spiral bound planner that stand between me and disordered chaos.

I use a different color coded pen for each member of the family. That way I know at a glance who has something major each day. This helps me to plan out my week and see any major issues ahead of time.

My husband and I make certain that we are available on Sunday evenings for a planning meeting for the week. We discuss upcoming events, things that need to be added to the grocery list, and anything else that needs to be prepared in order to keep the family running smoothly. 

2. Pace and Play

Once you have a plan and you have prepared to follow through on it, the next thing you should do is decide on your pace and play rhythm.

"By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done" (Genesis 2:2-3).

The Creator of the entire universe rested on the seventh day.

Be realistic about how much work you can bear at this point and create opportunities to recharge. 

There are many ways to get ahead in this area and upgrade your homemaking. I have alarms set on my phone for 1:30 pm every single day. This helps me to pause whatever project that I am working on, and take a break.

This break could mean:

• I read a book,
• I walk on the treadmill,
• I sit and drink a cup of coffee, etc.
  

It depends on the day and the projects I am working on. If you are someone who loves the outdoors, maybe that means stepping outside to enjoy God’s creation for 15 minutes on your lunch break.

The important part here is to realize that while hard work is good, it is equally important to set a healthy pace with opportunities to play the way that works best for you. 

3. Pen, Pew, and Prayer

My final—and probably most important—recommendation is to make sure you spend time with a pen, in a pew and in prayer.

“And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone" (1 Thessalonians 5:14).

I think everyone should keep a journal, no matter the season of life. This can help you avoid sin patterns, love the people around you, and understand yourself better. Even if all you can do is write in a one word entry, that can help you later to see where your heart and mind is headed over time. 

I would also strongly encourage you to get in the pew at church.

By that I mean:

• Be a part of the fellowship and accountability.
• Find a mentor and a mentee in your community.
• Be a part of the body of Christ in both a physical way and in your prayers.

Sharing our burdens with other believers is one of the greatest mercies of the Christian faith. We have to be vulnerable enough to open up our hearts and share the burdens that we carry, especially as homemakers where much of the battle is unseen among mops, children, and groceries. 

God has given us the incredible ability to be keepers of our homes. It is our responsibility to ensure that we do the absolute best job of it that we can.

Taking the time to ensure that we follow the 7Ps helps us to honor God with our homemaking. 

Which of these 7Ps do you need to devote more energy to?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is working to better love her husband, develop her three small children, and learn more about homeschool. Morgan is a homemaker dedicating her time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one mentoring, and physical training. She writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood at The Forgiven Former Feminist. 

Graphic adapted, courtesy of RawPixel at Pixabay.