Upgrade Your F.I.R.E.

Morgan Farr models her faith in her home, teaching her children the relevance of life in Christ to every part of their lives. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she shares her plan for lighting a fire in their hearts for God.

"Have you ever watched a fire? It seems to have a life all it's own," Morgan says.

Like Morgan, I (Dawn) homeschooled my children for many years. Those were challenging years, but also rewarding. Beyond educating my boys, my main goal was to teach them Christian character. I appreciate Morgan's fresh approach on parenting and education as she says, "Upgrade your F.I.R.E."

Morgan continues . . .

A fire dances, frolics, and bends—depending on how the air around it is moving. Fire can be an incredible force for good or a horrific impetus for evil—depending on who sets the fire and why. 

William Butler Yeats is credited with saying, "Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.”

Allow me to share with you how I use F.I.R.E. to guide my children as individuals. 

First, I AM NOT a parenting expert, psychologist, or pediatrician. I do not hold advanced degrees in education or theology.

WHAT I AM is a follower of Christ listening to the Holy Spirit as I train my children in the way they should go.

I have two boys in first grade, a girl in pre-K, and a girl who is learning to sit up unassisted. When I first started homeschooling—three years ago—I wanted them to be successful and to thrive, so I copied what I knew from school.

I was so focused on “keeping up” that I lost sight of my kids as individuals.

I needed to shift my way of thinking.

After discovering some incredible homeschooling advocates and writers, I was able to grow and learn in my understanding of my children as unique individuals.

I now frame our time using the acronym F.I.R.E.

F — Focus

We all have 24 hours in a day. Are we using that time wisely?

I have found that planning out our week, month, and year help us to be able to make solid choices and free us up.

This means saying no to a lot of good things so that I can say yes to the best things.

I — Ignite

Every fire is started; fires do not just randomly happen. Sometimes they are ignited by lightning, and sometimes by man. But fire has to be brought to life.

Guess who is responsible for lighting a fire in your kids? YOU! 

Obviously a huge part of igniting the fire of faith in your children is reading the Bible. But using other resources like art, literature, and the world around you can also help a lot, especially if you have a visual learner.

In our home we read a LOT of books. We just finished a book on Greek mythology for children. For anyone that doesn’t know, mythology can be really dark. It is all origin stories, cause and effect, and interrelational drama.

Was it a Christian book? Nope.
Did I use it to teach about Christ? You bet!

In every story, we talk about what went right and what went wrong.

• Was the problem caused by misunderstanding or sin?
• If we were in the hero’s position, how could we make a choice that honors God?
• How do you think the villain ended up in the position that he is in?

Teach them to look for God and to follow the Holy Spirit’s lead by talking through problems and situations so that, when the time comes, the fire is already lit and they are ready to shine for Him.

R — Repel

When I say repel, I mean to get rid of anything that distracts from God’s calling.

What music, movies, books, or podcasts are you as a family taking in?

Keep in mind that you are to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:5); and in order to train someone, you have to know how to train yourself.

• Are you telling your teenagers “no porn”—while watching 'Game of Thrones'?
• Are you teaching about being a good steward of your finances—while racking up your Target credit card?
• Do you struggle to have a time in the Word—but you're up to date on the latest Netflix shows?

Study your individual children and learn where they struggle. Let them see you struggle so they know that struggle is normal and victory through Christ is possible.

E — Embark

The last portion of my education motto is Embark. We are not called to develop all this theological knowledge and then sit in our big houses.

Model your faith. Show your children how to use it.

• I have a friend that is a brilliant cellist. She uses her talent to lead worship for the elderly in a nursing home. 
• My friend Rachel has never met a stranger. She uses her extroverted personality to welcome newcomers to the military lifestyle by being a kind and caring friend.
• My sister-in-law is a missionary that uses her incredible sewing skills to teach new missionaries how to make their own clothing in the local style.

What can you do with your children to teach them to use their skills and talents for God?

Is one of your kids really into baseball? What if he offered to coach younger kids for 30 minutes once a week… for free?

Do you have a child that loves to read? What if that child read scripture to an elderly neighbor once a week?

Be creative, but get out and serve God!

Igniting a F.I.R.E. in your children takes work and intentionality.

Parenting doesn’t happen in convenient chunks. It is an all day, every day marathon.

Romans 12: 11 says, “Never let the fire in your heart go out. Keep it alive. Serve the Lord.”

If you are wanting to encourage your children to be like Christ you must be fanning the fire in your own heart and serving God with everything you have. 

Are you on fire for God? How could you help your children to be on fire for the Lord?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd and aspiring author. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is learning to train dogs, developing her four young children, and tackling homeschool life… while moving all over the country. Morgan believes in integrity, authenticity, and grit. Although she writes for many different publications, you can almost always find Morgan’s most recent ramblings on her blog.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Comfreak at Pixabay.

Photo is of Morgan with her children.

5 Tips to Building Resilience in Children

Morgan Farr continues to challenge us with her positive, biblical, life-motivating posts. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she shares five ways to build resilience in children—but parents may find they need to build their own resilience first!

"In the chaos that has happened in the last year, resilience has been an essential part of our family dynamic," Morgan says. "Being able to adjust quickly and easily with small children is no easy feat!"

I (Dawn) think resilience is something I learned as a "Navy brat," so I totally agree with everything Morgan shares here. I was blessed to learn resilience, though—unlike Morgan—I didn't always appreciate what God used to teach me this character quality.

Morgan continues . . .

We are a military family. My husband is a veterinarian in the Army. That means we are built on resilience. We have to be, because with the military, you have no idea what they are going to throw at you or when it might happen.

Resilience is defined in the Oxford English dictionary as the ability to recover quickly from difficulties, or toughness.

For military families, that could mean a surprise TDY—temporary duty travel—and extended deployment, or finding out you are PCSing (getting a permanent change of station) a year early. 

None of it rattles us because we are resilient.

In the last year, we have had our resiliency put to the test with COVID-19 and the shutdowns.

Here are my "5 Tips to Building Resilience in Children" that have helped us cope through these unprecedented times.

1. Let them see you WORK.

Children need to see that everything they have comes from the hard work of their parents.

Whether it is the money coming in to purchase things or the chores done to keep the home running, everything has a cost.

Don’t be afraid to include children in CHORES—basic chores for younger kids and more complicated chores for older children.

This helps kids to learn to work hard and be appreciative of the things they have. It also helps to prevent entitlement.

2. Let them see you PLAY.

Children are not meant to be little adults. They are unique individual little beings that have to learn how to exist in this world.

Children learn best through play.

• Let them get dirty.
• Let them explore nature.
• Let them splash in puddles.
• Let them be children.

Then, join in and show them that having fun and enjoying the life that God has blessed you with is a good thing.

3. Let them see you SUCCEED.

Do you have goals you want to achieve? Share them with your kids.

For example, I wanted to run a 5k after my daughter was born. The kids were much more understanding when I wanted to jump on the treadmill when they understood I was working towards a goal.

They also got to see that not everything happens as soon as you want it to!

Tell them about your goals and why you set them.

Let them watch what it looks like to work hard and succeed at something that isn’t easy.

4. Let them see you FAIL.

I set a goal this year to be able to do double-unders—a move with a jump rope when a person needs to jump up higher than usual while swinging the rope twice under his or her feet.

My legs are torn up, and it hurts to miss with a jump rope.

It has been a humbling experience to keep failing at this goal.

My kids have been watching me try again and again to get this movement.

I have 9 months left in 2021. How much will they learn about not giving up before I get this down? 

5. Let them see you ON YOUR KNEES.

Big win this week? Praise God! Major failure? Praise God!

Whether in success or failure, show your children that you praise the Lord.

Let them see that you don’t just go to God when you have a problem, but also when you win.

Show them that absolutely everything you are is due to the mercy of God.

As a bonus tip, I challenge you to memorize 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 which says,

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Then teach it to your children.

When the good or the bad happens, recite this verse and praise God for His infinite mercies!

How can you help your children be resilient this week?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd and aspiring author. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is learning to train dogs, developing her four young children, and tackling homeschool life… while moving all over the country. You can find more of Morgan’s thoughts on her blog.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Wokadapix at Pixabay.

3 Steps to Upgrade Your Time during the Holidays

Morgan Farr, an Army wife, has four children and a new puppy. You can imagine how she needs to wisely plan her days. But Morgan is one of the most organized gals I know. In this Christmas Time Management UPGRADE, she shares three steps that help her use her time wisely during the holiday season."When someone says—'Are you ready for the holidays?'—people often sigh and joke about all the things Santa has to get done with the help of his elves," Morgan says. "It seems the holidays produce a lot of anxiety and pressure for many people."

I (Dawn) remember what it was like to have two young boys as I rushed around preparing for Christmas. I could have used some of Morgan's expertise back then!

Morgan continues . . . 

As I have gotten older and become a mother, I realize the “magic of Christmas” is actually a lot of hard work by family members to help make the holiday season bright. 

But in the age of Covid, political unrest, racial tensions, and the rest of the challenges that 2020 has brought, how do you make the holiday season bright? 

And more importantly, how do you do it without having to add extra hours into your day?  

Step One: Get organized

The key to any good plan is structure and organization. 

Now before you panic, I am not saying you need an organized home in order to organize your time. What I am saying is that you need to start with a clear idea of what you need to do.

1. Weekly Planning Meeting

My husband and I have a weekly planning meeting every Sunday night. It doesn’t matter what is going on or if he is TDY with the military, we still connect for a minimum of 15 minutes every Sunday night to sync calendars, manage any scheduling conflicts, and discuss upcoming major events. 

This is also a good time to check on your family budget and make sure your finances are in order. If both parties come to the meeting prepared this should take no more than 30 minutes, but can help prevent major issues later in the week. 

2. Nightly List Write Up

Each night before I head upstairs for bed, I grab my 99 cent spiral notebook and make a to-do list for the next day. I use the same notebook each day so I can roll over any unfinished activities from the day prior if need be. 

This practice takes about 10 minutes total, but it saves me a lot of time the next morning, because I can just glance at the list to see what my next steps should be. It also helps to prevent me from freezing up and being unable to decide what to do next.

3. Daily Involvement 

Get the whole family involved in daily management tasks! Every single day, everyone in my family is involved in the daily aspects of helping to keep the house running. 

• My children help with sweeping, wiping counters, clearing the table, and taking out the trash every single day.
• When it is time to bring in groceries? You bet my kids help bring them inside and help put them away.
• Laundry? Everyone is responsible for putting away their own clothing. 

In the early years, this can seem counter productive, but if you want your children to do it when they are twelve, start with small tasks when they are two. This teaches responsibility while also helping to keep the house orderly.

Step Two: Out with the Bad, in with the Good 

We, as a society, fill our hearts and minds with the most ridiculous things.

We also waste a lot of time on things that have zero eternal significance while bemoaning the lack of time we have.

So to combat this I have a few simple recommendations. 

1. Cut the Cord 

Did you know that the average person spends five hours watching TV every single day? That translates to 35 hours a week—which is almost a full-time job! 

At the end of the holidays no one is going to be sitting there saying, “Man, I wish I had spent more family time watching Netflix.”

If you cut out even one hour per day of TV watching, that will give you back 7 hours in a week. That is almost a full workday! 

2. Use Caution 

I know that during the holidays it can be really tempting to sit on social media and scroll through everyone’s gorgeous family pictures. I love seeing how creative friends and family are with their holiday celebrations. 

However, in 2019, the average person spent an average of 2 hours and 22 minutes on social media every single day! That is 15 hours a week on social media, often when our children should be doing other things like school and work. 

Scale back on your social media time. 

If you need help, most smartphones, tablets, and computers offer a way to set time limits on apps. Set a time limit for yourself or have someone hold you accountable. 

Ultimately, no one will remember if your place setting was perfect for Instagram, or if the gifts were wrapped Pinterest perfect.

What people will remember is spending time—safely during Covid—with the people they love.

Make sure you are giving the gift of your presence this holiday season, not just presents. 

Step Three: Remember the Reason

Finally, remember the reason the holiday even exists.

There are some excellent advent devotionals available for both children and adults. (*)

I have also found that listening to the book of Luke on an audio Bible is really good for my heart. There are 24 chapters in Luke and reading or listening to one per day for the month of December leads me through Jesus' life while I am celebrating His birth.  

[Note: There are many audio Bibles on YouTube. Here are three of the Book of Luke: (NKJV), (KJV), and (NIV).]

"Jesus is the Reason for the Season."

That is the saying you can find all over decorations and signs during the holiday. As Christians, we need to remember the entire point of Christmas is to celebrates the coming of Jesus Christ and His eventual redemption of our sins. 

What we focus on during this season says a lot about our faith and what we believe about the importance of Christ’s birth.

Let’s make sure we are honoring God with our advent celebrations. 

Which step can you take to help upgrade your time this holiday season?

(*) If you need recommendations for advent devotionals, feel free to send me an email at my blog link, below. ~ Morgan

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is learning to train dogs, developing her four young children, and tackling homeschool life… while moving all over the country. Morgan writes about her transition away from feminism and much more at The Forgiven Former Feminist.

Being a Light in a Dark Election

Morgan Farr is a woman of faith with courage to speak up for the Word of God. In this special, insightful  Election UPGRADE, she encourages biblical responses and behavior before, during and even after the upcoming election.

“I have a confession to make,” Morgan says. “I am a bit of a current events junkie. You wouldn’t know it to look at me, but I love politics, civics, and the law.”

I (Dawn) am too! And I have found Morgan to be a woman of faith with strong opinions—and those opinions are rooted in powerful, positive principles of truth from scripture.

Morgan continues . . . 

I strongly believe healthy discourse and debate about these topics—politics, civics and the law—is a crucial aspect of being a good citizen.

In the craziness that is 2020, I have had to take a break from engaging in debates and discussion about politics and, in some cases, even following current events, because I just cannot take the hateful darkness on all sides of the political spectrum. 

The amount of name calling—even from mature Christians—in this election cycle has been appalling. Hateful memes and comics are frequently shared by people claiming Christ’s name.

People are railing against political parties and ideas while forgetting that the people that they are talking about are made in the image of God—just like us.  

So, I am going to share with you how to be a light for Christ before, during, and after the 2020 Presidential Election. 

BEFORE the Election

1. Do Your Research: 

Learn as much as you can about each candidate so that you can make an informed choice.

A small caveat here. Keep in mind that the presidential election is ONE of the elections happening on November 3rd. There are 470 seats in Congress up for election this go around. That is 35 Senate seats and 435 House seats. Be educated and prepared! 

2. Be Wise:

• Share what you learn about the political candidates in a way that honors God. Check and double check your facts before you post anything about another person, political or otherwise.
• Remember that each of the candidates are human beings made in the image of God, treat their names that way.
• Share positive articles and posts about the candidate that you decided on rather than posting all the negative things about the other candidate. Do not engage in the mudslinging nonsense. 

This is where people often say, “But Morgan, the other side is bashing our candidate, so we have to tell what their candidate is doing wrong!”

To which I say, “Nonsense!”  

Proverbs 12:16 says,

Fools have short fuses and explode all too quickly; the prudent quietly shrug off insults.

Let them say whatever they are going to say.

You are not going to change anyone's mind on social media by arguing or posting ugly comments or sarcastic memes. No one is won over that way, and all it does is make you (and the church body) look foolish. 

DURING the Election

1. Do Your Part

Titus 3:1-2 says,

Remind the people to respect the government and be law-abiding, always ready to lend a helping hand. No insults, no fights. God’s people should be bighearted and courteous.

Get out there and be helpful! 

These are a few simple things that you can do to help on or near Election Day regardless of who you are voting for:

1. Help get other people registered to vote ahead of time.
2. Volunteer to be a poll worker. 
3. Bring supplies (water and snacks) to people in polling stations.
4. Find out if anyone in your church or community needs help getting to the polls on November 3rd.

Examples of that fourth point:

• Help the elderly, who may not be able to drive.
• Help mothers of small children—babysit so the children don’t have to stand in line at the polls.
• Help first-time voters who may be intimidated by the process. 

2. Vote Well

Do not just vote for the person with the most advertisements or the person that your pastor, dad, spouse, or employer told you to vote for.

Vote according to your conscience after careful prayer and study. 

AFTER the Election

If Your Candidate Won: 

That is great news! Handle it like a good sport.

Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don’t miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out (Colossians 4:5-6).

Do not alienate people with boasting or trash talking after the election. All that does is cause strife.

Instead focus on bringing out the best in the people around you since that is where you will have the greatest impact. 

If Your Candidate Lost: 

I am sorry for your disappointment. Handle it like a good sport.

Be a good citizen. All governments are under God. Insofar as there is peace and order, it’s God’s order. So, live responsibly as a citizen. If you’re irresponsible to the state, then you’re irresponsible with God, and God will hold you responsible. Duly constituted authorities are only a threat if you’re trying to get by with something. Decent citizens should have nothing to fear (Romans 13:1-3).

Do not then allow that setback to impact your testimony as a Christian by behaving in a manner that would blemish the reputation of Christ.

Whoever gets elected is not a surprise to God.

God is in complete control even if we do not like the outcome.

Finally, let me remind you that the leaders of the country are hundreds or thousands of miles away from most of us.  Do not allow political affiliation to determine how you treat the people in your community. 

If someone votes for Trump, respect their choice. 

If someone votes for Biden, respect their choice. 

Ultimately our allegiance is not to the Democrat Party or Republican Party, or even to the United States. Rather, our allegiance is to Jesus Christ and His ultimate authority as the Son of God. 

What can you do to bring light to the election process for 2020?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is learning to love her husband, developing her four children, and tackle the homeschool life while moving all over the country. Morgan writes about her transition away from feminism and into biblical womanhood at The Forgiven Former Feminist.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Hannah Edgman.

3 Tips to Upgrade Your Homeschool Day

Morgan Farr is an amazing young woman with many talents, which she uses to cultivate her ministry and family to better bring glory to God. In this Family UPGRADE, she shares from her practical expertise in homeschooling.

"Homeschooling is one of the most divisive words in parenting," Morgan says. "People had STRONG opinions about it during normal life, but add in the chaos caused by Covid-19 and homeschooling has become polarizing."

I (Dawn) homeschooled my two sons (many years ago); and it was rewarding, but not always easy. I can't imagine homeschooling during a pandemic, but Morgan has some great tips!

Morgan continues . . .

Let me start by saying, I am not going to try to convince you to be pro-homeschooling!

Instead, I want to talk specifically to those who ARE going to be homeschooling for the 2020-2021 school year, and share how to smooth out your homeschool day.

For a little bit of background on me…

• I have three children ages 5 and under, and I am expecting my fourth at the end of September.
• We have been homeschooling since my oldest was two-and-a-half, so I have three years of homeschool experience.
• However, I am also an Army wife stationed over 1,000 miles away from my closest family and often alone in my homeschooling efforts due to the military.

I understand more than most how taxing homeschooling can be!

Here are my TOP THREE TIPS for upgrading your homeschool day.

1. Get Up before Your Kids.

I know this one can be galling to some people. I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination.

However, I get up a minimum of 1 hour before my kids get up. I do this because I noticed that getting up at least 15 minutes before my children do gives me time to get my mind clear, pray, and be fully awake when they get up.

Galatians 5:22-23 lists self-control as one part of the fruit of the Spirit. One source notes: “If we let our desires lead our decisions, our lives (and our bodies) can quickly spin out of control. Self-control is a discipline that God grows in us when we continually choose to die to our flesh and live in Him.”

There are days where I want to just hide under the covers and hope the kids don’t notice, but being disciplined and getting up to spend time with my God BEFORE I spend time with my children helps me to not feel behind before my day has even started.

I know that on the days when I am unable to get up before the children, everyone in the house can feel the difference!

2. Get a "Titus Two Homeschool Mentor."

One of the best things I have in my homeschool is help from what I call my "Titus Two Homeschool Moms."

These women—including my mother-in-law—are where I turn for support, encouragement, and problem solving ideas. I call them Titus Two Homeschool Moms based on Titus 2:3-5 in the Bible:

“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

My mother-in-law homeschooled all three of her children from Kindergarten through 12th grade. She differentiated each child’s lessons based on their needs and interests, and she did this in the 90s when homeschooling wasn’t as “normal” as it is today.

She couldn’t just pop on Pinterest and look up handwriting practice sheets when one of her kids needed something extra. She had to research it, find out where it was sold, and purchase it or make it herself.

So when my son started switching between his left and right hand, who did I ask for help?

My mother-in-law.

When I felt like a failure because my other son had difficulty distinguishing between "p," "d," "b," and "q," who did I call?

My mother-in-law.

When my daughter decided school time was when she would throw a massive fit, because she wanted to "do school" but was only 18 months old, who did I ask?

My mother-in-law.

Do you know a family rocking this homeschool gig? Contact the mom and ask her for tips, suggestions, or how to get started. These ladies can be in-person groups, online, or simply text messages.

Homeschool moms are loving and ALWAYS willing to help out a fellow mom.

3. Do the Next Right Thing.

I am going to quote my mother-in-law: "The best thing you can do to smooth out your homeschool day is to make a plan and stick with it."

That way when someone is sick, or the washing machine breaks, or a pandemic happens, you can just do the next right thing on your plan.

For our family, that meant when the 2019-2020 school year ended, we took two days off and then jumped into the 2020-2021 school year since we were still under stay-at-home orders here in Philadelphia.

Sure we could have taken a couple of weeks off, but our thought was that since we couldn’t go anywhere or do anything, we might as well make good use of the time and get ahead.

Then, when things go back to normal—whenever that might be—we can take a bigger break at that time.

For us, the next right thing was to continue school and use the schooling to help provide structure and stability during the pandemic.

Ultimately, homeschooling is HARD WORK. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

If you choose to homeschool, you are going to need support, encouragement, and—in my case—Dr. Pepper!

Find people you can talk to, work with, and learn from. Join online groups, set schedules, and be flexible.

Homeschooling should work for you. That is the best part!

Don’t let it drag you down.

Where can you find support for your homeschool journey?

(If you want tips on where to find support or how to get started, feel free to contact me and I’d be happy to talk with you!)

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is learning to respect her husband, developing her three (soon to be four!) small children, and tackling the homeschool life while moving all over the country. Morgan writes about her transition away from feminism and into biblical womanhood at The Forgiven Former Feminist.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of FeelGoodJunkie at Pixabay.