Honoring Your Mom & Mom-in-Law This Mother's Day

Melissa Mashburn is known for "keeping it real" in home and ministry. In this special Mother's Day UPGRADE, she encourages us to consider gifts for our mom and mother-in-law that can't be bought at the store. 

"In this busy life we lead, it’s easy to just run right by Mother’s Day with a few flowers, chocolate and a homemade card and then check off the box that it’s handled," Melissa says. "The hard part with that is, there’s so much more to Mother’s Day than the gifts we give our moms and mother-in-law."

I (Dawn) think a key word there is "handled," as if Mother's Day is something to deal with and move on.  Melissa is encouraging us to be more intentional, respectful, thoughtful and loving.

She continues . . .

The hard part—and I’ll be the first to admit it—is that I want to claim Mother’s Day as “my day.” Chances are you do too.

Listen, we work hard all year long and need want a day for ourselves. There’s no doubt in my mind that we deserve it; but can I let you in on a secret. Your mom and your mother-in-law want that too.

It’s easy to get sucked into our own chaotic world of motherhood.

There’s the class projects, deadlines at work, carpool, practice for sports—and don’t forget the bottomless pit of laundry that miraculously seems to reappear just as you finish your last load.

Trust me, I know it’s not easy to add “one more thing” to the list. But let me share with you as a mom who is on the edge of the “empty nest” season:

Your mom and mother-in-law have been there, done that and have the t-shirt too.

They get where you are and also have an idea of what’s right around the corner for you.

Not everyone has a loving relationship with their mom or even their mother-in-law, but whether that relationship is easy or challenging, we should show honor to these important women in our lives.

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is about Naomi and her two daughters-in-law. You can read their whole story in the Book of Ruth. What I love is, in their story there’s redemption, hope and love shown,  as well as deep honor between the woman, Naomi, and her mother-in-law.

“But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God" (Ruth 1:16 NLT).

There’s so much we can learn from Naomi and Ruth, but today I wanted to take a few moments to share with you three simple ways to honor your mom and your mother-in-law this Mother’s Day.

1. Pray for them.

They are in a different season of motherhood, and it might seem like it is easy for them since they don’t have little ones running around, but chances are they actually miss it.

2. Spend time with them.

Be available to talk, have lunch, grab dinner or just spend time with them doing regular, everyday things.

3. Listen to what they have to say.

Your mom and your mother-in-law have the gift of wisdom that comes from time. Hear what they have to say, and even when you don’t always agree, show respect for their opinions.

Gifts are great and always lots of fun, but it’s not really about the gifts for your mom and mother-in-law. They probably already have everything they need anyway, so instead of rushing out for those flowers, chocolates and cards this year, why not try something different.

If you are crafty and creative, you can package it up pretty—there’s probably something crafty on Pinterest—and give her a gift straight from your heart.

What are some other ideas you have for showing honor to your mom and mother-in-law this Mother’s Day?

Oh, by the way, this post wouldn’t be complete with a great big shout out and huge hug to my own mom, Regina, and my awesome mother-in-LOVE, Brenda.

These two women bless me, encourage me, challenge me and inspire me more than they’ll ever know. I love you two! 

Melissa Mashburn passionately pursues God daily, taking her ordinary life and placing it as her offering to Him. She is an author, speaker, mom, pastor’s wife and trained communicator through CLASSeminars, with extensive background in Women’s, Kids and Volunteer Ministry. Her passion is helping women “keep it real” in their lives and ministries. Melissa is married to her best friend, Matt (22 years) and they have two adult sons, Nick & Bailey. She loves to relax with a great book and giant cup of coffee. You can find her at Melissa Mashburn: Real Women. Real Life. Real Faith.

Photo Credit © Photographerlondon | Dreamstime.com - Female Holding Potted Plants With Mother And Grandmother Photo

The Woman I Call Mom

I've watched my niece, Jamie Thompson Wood, grow from being my sons' childhood playmate to an incredible woman of God. She's a God-fearing young woman worthy of praise (Proverbs 31:30b). I know this transformation doesn't just happen. In Jamie's case, her parents played a huge part in her development.

I asked Jamie to share this Mother's Day tribute (Proverbs 31:28a) to her mom, Janice Thompson - an UPGRADE Partner who writes about finances. I know Jamie's brother David would echo the same kind of love and respect for their mother, but I want you to hear Jamie's heart.

She wrote ...

When I think of my mom, I think of:

• heart-to-heart talks over hot tea,
• kneeling down together by my bed each night growing up to read Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost For His Highest,
• a silly song that when played over the radio instantly connects us across the miles and time zones,
• crawling into her bed late at night as a teenager to share details, details, details after returning from a date, and
• a woman who singlehandedly embodies the picture of wisdom, intentionality, and a life lived in faithful obedience to God. 

Mom is a woman on a God-ordained mission with an unparalleled tenacity to live into the fullness of what God has for her. 

She has modeled for me what it looks like to hear from God and then follow His leading. 

She taught me though her life what it looks like to: love your spouse well, put your family first, plan for the future, see money as a tool and not a master, and balance the many hats a woman wears with grace and strength.

To many, she’s a sought after business professional, to others she’s a confidante and a source of wise counsel, and to yet others, she’s a friend. 

But I am one of two on this entire earth who get the high privilege of calling her "Mom." 

I pray God gives me the strength and faithfulness to walk in a way that honors her model and maybe someday, I will hear someone say, “You remind me of your mom.” 

That will be a very good day.

If you are a woman, you are likely a "mom" to someone, by parenting or by influence. Are you living worthy of a tribute? Your daughter (or spiritual daughter) is watching your life. May God encourage all of us "Moms" to be careful as we shape young lives.

Jamie Wood was born into a Pastor’s family and desires to disciple women for Christ. She has served as a conference planner for Anne Graham Lotz at AnGeL Ministries, as the Women’s Spiritual Life Director at San Diego Christian College, and on staff in the Women’s Ministry Department of Shadow Mountain Community Church. She has traveled to 36 countries and loves teaching others how to study and apply God's Word. Jamie, her husband Jeff and their baby son, David, live in San Diego.

How to Bless Your Mother-in-Law

Deb DeArmond's new book, Related by Chance, Family by Choice, captured my attention. I knew she'd be perfect for this relationship UPGRADE!

“Take my mother-in-law ... please!” garnered laughs for a once-famous comedian," Deb said, "but if you tried to take mine, I’d have to hogtie you, Texas style!"

I (Dawn) call my husband's mom my "Mother-in-Love." She is truly a treasure. I know there are some Mother-in-Law (MIL) / Daughter-in-Law (DIL) relationships that are a constant struggle, but I do believe any relationship can improve if even one of the women is willing to love, be patient, forgive and render blessings. 

So I really appreciate Deb's "blessing" tips for DILs. (Read her book for the other half of the equation!)

Deb continues ...

You heard me. Unhand her. She belongs to me.

The woman who raised the man of my dreams is a gift in my life.

“Wait! Stop!” I hear you cry. “Isn’t that your mother-in-law?”

Yes, indeed. The woman who nurtured a boy into the man of God I’ve loved for 40 years is one of the great gifts I got in this package deal when we married at age 19. When you do the math, she’s been my back-up-mama for 66% of my life.

Who needs two mothers? I did, and I’ll be you do too. Each taught me so much, and each lesson was unique to the woman involved. My mom’s been gone for many years. How good of God to create this bonus plan!

Mother’s Day is fast approaching, and even if you are not as close as my MIL and I, it’s a great time to let her know you appreciate her.

After all, without her, you might have married Ernie. You remember Ernie, don’t you? So let her know you are grateful for the role she played in the life of your man.

Here are a few tips to bless her:

1. Plan a special MIL/DIL day. What would she enjoy? Pedicures and lunch at a favorite spot? A trip to a local public garden? Tea at that cute antiques shop?

Matching her interests with your plans communicates your care and interest in her.

2. Write her a note or card. Handwritten notes, not emails, were the favored way to share heartfelt sentiments among the generations before ours. The surprise of a card in the mailbox is a fun way to let her know she’s special to you.

Whether she lives across town or across the country—everybody loves real mail. And get your kids to sign some “to my Gigi” cards, too. She’ll display them proudly for her friends to see when they visit.

3. Thank her for the special man her son is.

Motherhood sometimes goes unacknowledged—especially for boy mamas. Men may be less aware of the impact Mom had in his life and forget to express their appreciation. She invested her life and energy in raising him—and then had to hand him off when he was just becoming the man she’d envisioned all those years.

Tell her what you appreciate most about him. Be specific about the qualities and characteristics as husband, father and friend she helped build. Share some examples that will make her button-busting proud.

4. Ask for her advice. When you ask someone to share their insights and ideas, you are acknowledging they’ve done a good job.

What tips might she be able to offer you about being a great wife? What suggestions does she have in dealing with your rebellious teenage daughter?

So this year, let your mother-in-law know just how much credit she deserves in your happiness! Someday, if not already, you too will be part of some young woman’s package deal.

Sow the seeds of blessing now.

So, what’s your plan to make this a Mother’s Day she’ll never forget?

Deb DeArmond’s passion is family—not just her own, but the relationships within families in general. Her recent book, Related by Chance, Family by Choice: Transforming the Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Relationships explores tools and tips to building sound relationships between moms and the girls who marry their sons. Deb and her husband, Ron, live in the Fort Worth area. For more about Deb, visit her "Family Matters" site.

Graphic in text, adapted: Image courtesy of stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net