Mother Was Right—What My Mother Taught Me and Why It Matters Now

Janice Thompson is my sister-in-love. We share a love for her mom, Adele Wilson. In this Mother's Day UPLIFT, Jan shares some of the powerful lessons she learned from her mother—lessons all of us in the "Wilson clan" have come to love and appreciate—and I hope they encourage you as well.

"I vividly remember the day when as a young adult I said to myself, 'Wow, Mom was right!'" Janice says. "Perhaps you look forward to the day your child "gets it" too!"

Yes, I (Dawn) remember a moment of awareness. I'd thought my own Mom didn't understand the complexities of today's culture, but as it turned out, the principles that guided her life were timeless—much like those that guided Adele Wilson.

Janice continues . . .

Mom and Dad grew up together in a children’s home, each having lost a parent at a very tender age. Raised with 180 other children they called family, they both speak with gratitude of the care they received and the friends they made.

They also, however, determined when they married to try to create what they had missed—a welcoming home and intimate family life.

Mom is the first to admit they were clueless where to start, but God had His hand on them. They became Christ-followers shortly after marriage and immediately began to seek His wisdom. Between their study of Scripture and surrounding themselves with Christian families they wanted to emulate, they look back on their 72 years of marriage and trace God’s hand throughout their journey.

They are now enjoying the fruit of that dogged determination as they changed the course of their family’s trajectory and created a living legacy that has left a blessed imprint on three successive generations.

Mom gave me many gifts—including ones I didn’t always appreciate at the moment! I still marvel at how, without a mother’s role model, God gifted her with extraordinary wisdom.

She was undeterred during my adolescent years—that unpaved section of life—when I burst out in a tearful, “You don’t understand me!” She was on a mission, however, and nothing stopped her from standing firm on every value she held dear.

Here is my short list of what she taught me then and why it matters to me now.

1. Pursuit of God’s best. “If you’re going to do a job, do it right—the first time.”

If I were ever tempted to skim the surface, I’d best think again. I dreaded her white glove inspection of my half-hearted dusting chore. Good enough simply wasn’t. God deserved the best I could give, and I was never to short-change Him or her!

Gratefully, she was relentless, and that value served me well in my academic pursuit, career path, and raising my own children.  

2. Pursuit of Family Harmony. Conflict resolution was a non-negotiable. Frustration, even anger, were acceptable expressions as long as it wasn’t accompanied by disrespect, yelling, or fighting.

In Mom’s words, “There is enough fighting in this world; when you entered the doors of our home, it will be a place of peace, joy, and support.”

Mom had mastered conflict resolution skills that somehow allowed me to feel valued and heard even as I stewed in my anger. This led to a joy-filled home where my friends longed to be. Laughter was the norm, and my friends were always welcomed.

I found myself applying those same conflict resolution skills as we raised our children and in turn, enjoyed the blessing of being “mom” to many of our children’s friends as well.

3. Pursuit of Wise Stewardship. This one still amazes me as I see how much she taught me about God’s values concerning the use of time, talent and treasure. Let me start with...

TIME: Mom loved and served sacrificially. She worked long and hard, yet would always greet me with a cup of tea when I’d come home from a date no matter the lateness of the hour. She enjoyed sharing every detail of my experiences and used those late night chats to help shape my values.

I realized shortly after marriage how much she shaped my wishlist for my life’s partner and kept me from settling for less than God’s best. My husband is still my best friend, and I have Mom to thank for helping me understand that priority.

TALENT: Giving more than you take was another top priority. Mom taught me to always look for ways to contribute. If you are faithful with what God has put in your hand, He will, in turn, bless you with more to give.

I can’t begin to describe all the ways that value has played out in my life.

TREASURE: Wise financial stewardship was another non-negotiable.

Mom (and Dad) always put God first, spent less than they earned, avoided the use of debt, worked toward long-term goals, and were generous toward others. Those habits prepared them to live comfortably now.

That example also prepared me for a career helping others wisely steward their resources and their families.  

4. Pursuit of a Proverbs 31 Woman.  Mom was—and still is—a very beautiful and strong, independent woman. She modeled pushing through obstacles to achieve goals.

While always supportive, it was not her job to make life easy for me. She taught me to own my mistakes, minimize excuses, and figure out how to resourcefully get back on track.

She believed in me when I felt vulnerable and encouraged me to step into my calling even if it didn’t look “normal” or “traditional.” My subsequent career path landed me in what years ago used to be considered a man’s world. I ignored gender, however, and never allowed inferiority to keep me from starting my own company. Mom taught me to push through the hard stuff and count my blessings with every opportunity to make an impact.

Like my Mom, you have little control over the legacy you inherited, but a great deal of influence over what you leave behind.

Since a legacy is inevitable, I encourage you to make it intentional because wisdom is challenging to transfer without it. Experiences and how you leverage them can turn brokenness into a blessing even when it doesn’t look like it at first glance. You don’t have to be perfect; just authentic and tenacious.

We have the powerful ability ever day to leave a lasting imprint on those we touch.

Prov 31:30-31 says,

She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed….

Charm is deceitful and beautiy is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised....let her own works praise her in the gates.

Mom, you were right on every point and I rise up today and call you blessed.

What makes you unique because of the legacy you’ve received? What value or wisdom point can you change or build upon to make the biggest difference in future generations you influence?  

Janice Thompson is the co-Founder and CEO of One Degree Advisors, Inc., a comprehensive wealth management firm focused on biblically-based financial solutions. Janice is a Certified Financial Planner®, a Life Stewardship Advisor, and serves on the Board of Directors of Kingdom Advisors. She has two married children with three grandsons and one granddaughter. She and her husband Tom live in San Diego.

Happy Productive New Year

Pam Farrel is one of the most "get it done" women I know. In this New Year UPGRADE, she desires to help us be "get it done" women too!

"Achievement, attainment and accomplishment feel GREAT!" Pam says. "Completion brings a certain satisfaction and fulfillment, especially if our goals and tasks positively impact our life."

I (Dawn) have personally seen how many accomplishments Pam has made over the years. She must have some secret, I thought. Turns out, she does! And she's sharing it here.

Pam continues . . .

Our productivity has even more value when it means that other people are blessed and built up too. When our accomplishments encourage and equip others, the joy is multiplied!

People sometimes ask me, “How did you write and publish 46+ books, speak almost every week, run a ministry, keep a vibrant marriage, raise three great kids, build a wonderful friendship circle and keep your home in order?

Honestly, I was inspired long ago by the Proverbs 31 woman.

While I recognize this description of a godly woman was penned as a tribute and likely covered the accomplishments of her lifetime, while studying the passage, one VITAL trait consistently popped off the page:

The Proverbs 31 woman didn’t just hope, dream, wish or plan—the girl took ACTION!

Let’s look at this famous passage. (I have emphasized the action verbs):

An excellent wife who can find?

    She is far more precious than jewels.

11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,

    and he will have no lack of gain.

12 She does him good, and not harm,

    all the days of her life.

13 She seeks wool and flax,

    and works with willing hands.

14 She is like the ships of the merchant;

    she brings her food from afar.

15 She rises while it is yet night

    and provides food for her household

    and portions for her maidens.

16 She considers a field and buys it;

    with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

17 She dresses herself with strength

    and makes her arms strong.

18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.

    Her lamp does not go out at night.

19 She puts her hands to the distaff,

    and her hands hold the spindle.

20 She opens her hand to the poor

    and reaches out her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,

    for all her household are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes bed coverings for herself;

    her clothing is fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates

    when he sits among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them;

    she delivers sashes to the merchant.

25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,

    and she laughs at the time to come.

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,

    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

27 She looks well to the ways of her household

    and does not eat the bread of idleness.

THE RESULT

And what is the positive outcome of her proactive action plan?

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;

    her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many women have done excellently,

    but you surpass them all.”

30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,

    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,

    and let her works praise her in the gates.

In summary . . .

• Her kids rave about their awesome mom;
• her husband proclaims her strength, value, talent, and character;
• she is held up as a role model of virtue and godliness, a woman to be praised by people; and
• best yet, her OWN WORKS—those accomplished tasks and the character developed in the pursuit—provide an extra dose of praise!

Inspired by her diligent action, I thought,

“How can I replicate this hard-working woman’s 'get it done' style?”

In Get It Done, Girl! Maximizing Your Moments Action Planner, I share a simple acrostic that helps me plan and then take A.C.T.I.O.N.

A—Ask God.

Invite the Creator to give you a heavenly perspective. 

I begin each day asking Him to order the steps of my day. By taking the time to pray, it has helped me recall a person, an opportunity, a need, or inspired a creative thought for a book, a blog or a business.

C—Clear the “Must Do’s.”

I keep the Due Date next to each task in my action planner and also, as a reminder, on my phone’s calendar.  

I ask, “Which of the many things I have written has the worst consequence for inaction?” I mark these MUST DOs with a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 in order of priority.

T—Tackle Tough Tasks.

Mark Twain once said that if the first thing you do each morning is to eat a live frog, that that is probably the worst thing that is going to happen to you all day.

Your “frog” is the most vital task each day.

I try to handle the hardest things early in the day—then I greatly reward myself!

I—Invest in the Future.

At this point, I get to select the tasks and actions to make progress on. 

For bigger projects,

• I break them down into more bite-sized portions,
• assign due dates,
• then select time blocks to work on these items.

I track my projects and try to make forward movement.

O—Organize Space and Personal Life.

Being organized can lower your daily stress and raise your productivity.

You can either:

• pay a maid,
• delegate chores to your children—which helps them grow up to be responsible adults,
• or handle your tasks yourself.

The key to our happy, long-lasting marriage is this:

The one who has the RESPONSIBILITY has the AUTHORITY to handle that task, their way, their time, with their creative ingenuity.

And the spouse’s role is to THANK and APPLAUD their mate for handling the job.

N—Nurture Those I Love.

Just because you are a “Get It Done, Girl” kind of woman doesn’t mean you are all work and no play! 

The most productive people I know have a healthy work/play balance. Their motivation for the work is to provide, protect and bring a peaceful environment to their life and family.

A happy family is a more productive family.

And while we are talking about nurturing, treat yourself as kindly as your Heavenly Father would treat you.

How can you press in and take not procrastinate? What in this blog will help you take A.C.T.I.O.N. so those in your life arise to bless you?

Pam Farrel is an international speaker, author of the Get It Done, Girl: Maximize Your Moments Action Planner, her 47^th book. She and her husband, Bill, are Co-Directors of Love-Wise. To help with your productivity, in their book 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make there is a list of what chores and responsibilities children and teens can handle by their age and stage of life. In Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, the Farrels share how they divide and delegate work, ministry, home and family responsibilities.