A Year of Resilience — and a Fresh FOCUS in 2024

Pam Farrel is a prolific writer and gifted speaker who offers solid scriptural resources with practical solutions from the Bible. In this New Year's UPGRADE, she writes about her struggle in 2023, but how focus on the word "resilience" encouraged and strengthened her; and she offers a resource for discovering your own motivating, life-changing word for 2024.

I have been selecting a Word of the Year and Verse of the Year since I was 19 years old—before it was really a 'thing,'" Pam says. "So, for more than four decades, I have seen the power of having a Word of the Year.

"Word of the Year can also be labeled Word of Intent, My One Word, One Little Word, and I love the acrostic of a Word of F.O.C.U.S.

• F - Follow
• O - One
• C - Course
• U - Until
• S - Successful

When I (Dawn) read that acrostic—Follow One Course Until Successful—I thought, "What a great concept. Most of us spread ourselves thin with too many focuses." But focusing on one area to grow in spiritual maturity, with God's wisdom and a desire for excellence, sounds like a winning formula for success!

Pam continues . . .

This focus on ONE THING is reflected in the Bible: I have asked the LORD for one thing; one thing only do I want: to live in the LORD’s house all my life, to marvel there at his goodness, and to ask for his guidance (Psalm 27:4 GNB emphasis added).

How to Pick Your Word of the Year

We created a “Looking for Your Word” worksheet,* that gives six methods, six key questions to ask yourself, and six boxes to capture your top six words to help you; and then narrow down to your ONE WORD.

This is a simple list of the six places to LOOK for YOUR Word of the Year:

1. Look Back – What WORD summarizes what I learned last year?
2. Look Inside – What WORD captures who you want to become next year?
3. Look Ahead – What WORD describes the life I desire to live?
4. Look to God and His Word – What WORD is the essence of my AHA spiritual moment last year?
5. Look Around - What WORD did God roll across my path organically recently?
6. Look to Helps and Tools – Is there a repeating WORD or theme in the tests and tools I have used? (Dayspring and Word of Intent usually offer an online quiz.)

The next step after choosing a Word of the Year is to begin to implement ways of weaving it into your daily life.

Bill and I created Your Best Year Worksheets (for women/ for couples).

• I place key info inside the front of my bullet journal so I can daily review and maintain focus.
• I also layer in focus by selecting a mug, art, a scent, a song, a lotion, and other reminders I can see or use daily.
• I add quotes and verses into my bullet journal as I find them too.
• I usually purchase several books on the topic to read throughout the year as well.

"In the tapestry of life," Charles R. Swindoll said, "God's hand is the thread of resilience, weaving through our challenges to create a masterpiece of faith and endurance."

Last year, when time to select my Word of the Year rolled around, I was barely out of my ICU coma episode, so I knew the year ahead would be an uphill climb to regain my health, wellness, fitness, strength, and stamina.

The politicians were blasting their “build back better” motto, so I just borrowed it for my own personal journey of restoration, rejuvenation, and rebuilding! I usually lay out my goals for the coming year, then I ask myself, “What inner quality or personal trait do I need to enrich or engage to achieve these goals?”

I used the process above and listed many synonyms for strength, stamina, rebuild, persevere, etc. and the word RESILIENCE rose to the top.

I also looked to see if I could find any Bible verses with the exact word in it, or verses that reflected a heart or spirit of resilience:

I found these:

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak (Isaiah 40:29).

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand  (Isaiah 41:10).

I tried to live out resilience for 365 days.

What does resilience look like?

Resilience is the capacity to endure and bounce back from adversity—the remarkable ability to adapt in the face of challenges, setbacks, or difficult circumstances.

Resilience involves cultivating mental fortitude, emotional strength, and the willingness to persist even when confronted with numerous and repeated obstacles.

Resilience is not merely weathering storms; it encompasses the capacity to learn and grow from experiences.

Resilience is a dynamic quality to navigate life's unwelcome, uninvited, and unpredictable with courage and grace through God empowering an inner strength and tenacity well beyond our own.

My prayer all year was one asking God to help me turn adversity into an opportunity!

So how did the FOCUS on resilience serve me?

1. I gathered medical experts who laid out a new medicinal plan to address the core issue that caused my DKA initially, one that would prevent it in the future.

2. I phoned a few friends who had also experienced a coma and asked how they regained strength, especially in the early days of their recovery.

3. I engaged other health and wellness friends and mentors who helped me rebuild my stamina week by week, layering a new activity into my daily life: walk a few more steps, do a few more squats and wall push-ups, or even dance steps!

• I started with stretching to worship music and scripture;
• then I joined a Pilates studio;
• added in daily swimming and water aerobics,
• then some daily weight workouts and gentle HIIT (high-intensity interval training),
• and wrapped up the year by signing up for dance classes at the senior center, just a short walk away in my neighborhood.

By proactively and intentionally working on my strength, I was able to keep all my speaking events beginning in January and on through the year. Bill and I also enjoyed renewing activities we love, like our daily prayer walks and dancing at weddings!

God was faithful to strengthen my spirit and my mind as well.

Here is a social media post about all that God was able to accomplish through HIS power in me in the 2023 resilience journey:

"Jumping for #joy! One year ago today, I woke from a coma. God gave me the clear word that my work was not yet complete here on earth. These are the books released in the last year! [Pictured in the post.] And I am currently writing a devotional with my beloved Bill.

"Many thanks to coauthors, Jean Esther Jones & Karla Smallwood-Dornacher (Discovering Wisdom in Proverbs), Karen Whiting (Growing a Joyful Heart devotional), and a thank you to Michelle Rayburn for the honor of writing a chapter and foreword for her #boymombook, and a poem in Renewed Christmas Blessing  (Plus, the WISDOM creative quiet time journal is from our imprint LOVE-WISE.)"

Now I am praying for my new Word of the Year for 2024—praying new goals for my mind, body, soul, and spirit.

I am looking for more victories ahead through Heaven's focus for me and God's power at work in me.

Do you have your word for the new year? If not, consider using some of the tools suggested to discover your Word of the Year, and then live it out in 2024.

Pam Farrel is the author of 60 books including several books to help people set and achieve goals: 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman and The Marriage Meet Up devotional planner for couples who want more purpose, passion and productivity. She is also co-author for the Discovering the Bible Series including newest: Discovering Wisdom in Proverbs: A Creative Bible Study Experience. Discover more about Pam, her resources, and Living Love-Wise, visit www.Love-Wise.com. 

* To help with your WORD OF THE YEAR, Download How to Discern My Word of the Year worksheet.

Main Graphic adapted: Two images: (1) Background Image8926; and (2) Magnifying Glass by Clker Free Vector Images — both courtesy of Pixabay.

Two memes created at love-wise.com.

5 Tips to Building Resilience in Children

Morgan Farr continues to challenge us with her positive, biblical, life-motivating posts. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she shares five ways to build resilience in children—but parents may find they need to build their own resilience first!

"In the chaos that has happened in the last year, resilience has been an essential part of our family dynamic," Morgan says. "Being able to adjust quickly and easily with small children is no easy feat!"

I (Dawn) think resilience is something I learned as a "Navy brat," so I totally agree with everything Morgan shares here. I was blessed to learn resilience, though—unlike Morgan—I didn't always appreciate what God used to teach me this character quality.

Morgan continues . . .

We are a military family. My husband is a veterinarian in the Army. That means we are built on resilience. We have to be, because with the military, you have no idea what they are going to throw at you or when it might happen.

Resilience is defined in the Oxford English dictionary as the ability to recover quickly from difficulties, or toughness.

For military families, that could mean a surprise TDY—temporary duty travel—and extended deployment, or finding out you are PCSing (getting a permanent change of station) a year early. 

None of it rattles us because we are resilient.

In the last year, we have had our resiliency put to the test with COVID-19 and the shutdowns.

Here are my "5 Tips to Building Resilience in Children" that have helped us cope through these unprecedented times.

1. Let them see you WORK.

Children need to see that everything they have comes from the hard work of their parents.

Whether it is the money coming in to purchase things or the chores done to keep the home running, everything has a cost.

Don’t be afraid to include children in CHORES—basic chores for younger kids and more complicated chores for older children.

This helps kids to learn to work hard and be appreciative of the things they have. It also helps to prevent entitlement.

2. Let them see you PLAY.

Children are not meant to be little adults. They are unique individual little beings that have to learn how to exist in this world.

Children learn best through play.

• Let them get dirty.
• Let them explore nature.
• Let them splash in puddles.
• Let them be children.

Then, join in and show them that having fun and enjoying the life that God has blessed you with is a good thing.

3. Let them see you SUCCEED.

Do you have goals you want to achieve? Share them with your kids.

For example, I wanted to run a 5k after my daughter was born. The kids were much more understanding when I wanted to jump on the treadmill when they understood I was working towards a goal.

They also got to see that not everything happens as soon as you want it to!

Tell them about your goals and why you set them.

Let them watch what it looks like to work hard and succeed at something that isn’t easy.

4. Let them see you FAIL.

I set a goal this year to be able to do double-unders—a move with a jump rope when a person needs to jump up higher than usual while swinging the rope twice under his or her feet.

My legs are torn up, and it hurts to miss with a jump rope.

It has been a humbling experience to keep failing at this goal.

My kids have been watching me try again and again to get this movement.

I have 9 months left in 2021. How much will they learn about not giving up before I get this down? 

5. Let them see you ON YOUR KNEES.

Big win this week? Praise God! Major failure? Praise God!

Whether in success or failure, show your children that you praise the Lord.

Let them see that you don’t just go to God when you have a problem, but also when you win.

Show them that absolutely everything you are is due to the mercy of God.

As a bonus tip, I challenge you to memorize 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 which says,

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Then teach it to your children.

When the good or the bad happens, recite this verse and praise God for His infinite mercies!

How can you help your children be resilient this week?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd and aspiring author. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is learning to train dogs, developing her four young children, and tackling homeschool life… while moving all over the country. You can find more of Morgan’s thoughts on her blog.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Wokadapix at Pixabay.

Bounce, Don't Break

Deb DeArmond is passionate about family matters, and she encourages healthy interactions in all kinds of relationships. But in this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she helps us deal with recurring struggles and trials.

"Returning struggles. Just when you think you've cleared the hurdle, they present again," Deb says. "They can sap your strength, shake your confidence, and cause you to question God. How to manage? Bounce, don't break!"

I (Dawn) just dealt with a recurring struggle in early January. "I thought I'd already dealt with that," I said. It made me feel weak as I reeled in confusion. But I attest to what Deb is saying. Resiliency as we trust in Christ enables us to move forward.

Deb continues . . .

I could see her out of the corner of my eye. She was watching me. Again.

She wasn’t a creepy stranger on the street, but a trusted colleague. Her intentions were good, but it was uncomfortable.

Carrie was one of a handful of co-workers who knew of my heart problem. She’d been with me—on the road two years earlier—when it began. I knew she was concerned; our work assignment this day brought heat and elevation into the equation. Both could create issues for me. And they did.

After my initial diagnosis, I had surgery that corrected the problem.

The doctor was sure it would not re-emerge. He was wrong. A year later, a second surgery and more assurances felt less certain for a permanent solution. I felt great for five months, and then it returned.

And now Carrie, and a handful of others, made it their personal mission to watch me like a hawk.

I never questioned their motives, but the fact they felt the need to monitor me made me feel old, frail, and weak. I am none of those things. But there are days, I work hard to convince myself of that truth.

Returning struggles.

Just when you think you've cleared the hurdle, they present again. And whether they're health problems, financial struggles or any recurring hardships—they can sap your strength, shake your confidence, and cause you to question God.

So, what's the key to keep moving forward with peace and confidence?

BOUNCE—don't break.

B — BELIEVE.

Our confidence is in God's faithfulness.

He loves His children and strengthens us for the situation, even when He doesn't remove it. I've discovered new levels of certainty that He's ever present.

O — OFFER

Offer thanksgiving and praise for the solution.

Faith is trust in God that doesn't demand He deliver on our timetable. Honor Him by trusting His Word.

U — UNDERSTAND

Understand you may not understand.

As toddlers, our favorite question was "Why?" As adults, we are just taller two-year-olds—with an overwhelming need for an answer.

Sometimes God provides us that insight; sometimes He does not. Be okay with not knowing.

N —NAVIGATE

Navigate your new normal.

• Curb spending on restaurant meals.
• Consider how best to invest your energy level each day.
• Accommodate changes that minimize the impact of the issue.

C — COMMUNICATE

Communicate with family and trusted friends about your circumstances, especially when it's health related.

The colleagues I travel with know what to do if I have an issue. They know how to access the information on my phone and are clear about the details that would be needed in an emergency.

E —EDUCATE

Educate yourself in the promises of God's Word and the issues you face.

• Financial problem? Take a class on financial stewardship.
• Health issue? Ask your physician for information and suggestions for books or articles that can help you learn about your options.

What does the Bible say about struggles?

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” James 1:2-4 (ESV).

Blessed are the FLEXIBLE, for they shall not break!

What can you do to bounce into action?

Deb DeArmond’s passion is family—not just her own, but the relationships within families in general. Her first book, Related by Chance, Family by Choice: Transforming the Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Relationships explores tools and tips to building sound relationships between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Book #2, I Choose You Today, helps couples strengthen their marriages. Deb's new book on marital conflict, Don't Go to Bed Angry, Stay Up and Fight! was co-authored by her husband, Ron. They live in the Fort Worth area. For more about Deb, visit her "Family Matters" site.

Your Life Makeover: Are You Ready?

Wildfire survivor Elizabeth Van Tassel garners encouraging real-life stories and creates fantasy for kids with one goal in mind—helping tweens, teens, and adults find RESILIENCE amidst the most challenging times in life.

     

In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she encourages us to be open to life makeovers, so God’s touch will be evident in our lives.

“I didn’t ask for this season of great change, but I knew there was a whisper of something more packed into the move," Elizabeth said. "There’s a moment when you decide to either live a life of calling or of complacency. I didn’t want any regrets."

I (Dawn) think we can identify with seasons of change—expected and unexpected. But how we approach those changes makes a huge difference.

Elizabeth continues . . .

My husband looked stunned at the out-of-town, unsolicited job offer he’d received. It was an amazing opportunity for him, but I hesitated at first.

Our infant son’s third word was “box,” because our family had moved six times in two years.

Those were awful, unplanned and emergency-tinged after losing everything we owned in a massive wildfire years ago.

So, the word “move” provided a real challenge for me.

But the experience of giving everything to the Lord, and watching Him build a life for us again also freed me to invest in hope.

I said yes, and jumped.

Right now, we’re living in boxes in temporary housing, and breathing in the moment of trust daily.

• Where will we live? Not sure yet.
• Where will my grocery store be? Must remain flexible.

It’s like the TV show where they show up and dump your old clothes and take you on a shopping spree for a whole new look.

Are you open to His leading when this happens? Where does your life need transformation?

What if you’re cruising along, pretty content with life in general, and then a great change arrives?

Are you ready to be receptive to that ‘still, quiet voice’ prompting you to be open to something new? What could you miss if you’re not listening? Can dark times of loss and recovery actually make you MORE resilient?

Here’s what David had to say in Psalm 36:7-9:

“The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light.”

Your ability to be RESILIENT, or flexible enough to bend rather than break when pressures rise and life brings more stress, is to be able to UPGRADE as you do three things.

1. Nestle in closer, even when you don’t feel safe.

It’s all right to realize you’re a bit fragile. Ironically, those brittle moments are when we can uncover a new relationship with Christ.

Share your dreams and feelings. Give yourself time and permission to hang out in the Word and in conversational prayer. It can bring connection and healing. Perhaps those moments when you need “refuge” will bring you even closer to Him.

2. Look for abundance in unexpected places.

When your life situations shift dramatically, there will be losses. Friends, or homes, or even jobs may change.

But in that season, what new doors are being opened?

Is it a caring friend who unexpectedly shows up to help?

Are you developing a new skill?

You never know how God can use your situation.

Be open to new lessons.

Where there’s growth, there’s a chance for Him to retool something; because He LOVES makeovers—those of the heart—the most.

3. Search for a river of delights.

So many people, perhaps hundreds, have asked me how we stayed positive, our marriage survived, and our children have coped with so much change. We found a way to be intentional with our time and our activities, and even planned more fun into our priorities—thanks to our kids’ perspective!

Time slows when there’s loss or death or depleted resources. Eventually, after some healing, you’re ready for significant questions in uncovering how to live a life of calling rather than just getting by.

You’ll find that river of delights when you sit quietly and ask Him:

• For refreshment.
• For the next breath.
• For deliverance.
• And for acceptance.

So, are you ready to take a breath, listen more, and learn from painful moments? Can you pack your own boxes? What’s holding you back?

Elizabeth Van Tassel, resilience expert and fantasy writer, has really lived a life with diamonds, wildfires, and miracles. A wildfire survivor and gemologist who lost every possession and her home in the 2007 Witch Creek Wildfire, she winds tales of wondrous gems and destructive loss into fantastic fantasy for the next generation and beyond. She also speaks, writes nonfiction, and blogs weekly for adults and kids about living a resilient life. Learn more about Elizabeth here.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Ron Porter at Pixabay.