Are Resolutions a Good Idea?

Author and speaker Kathy Collard Miller is one smart lady. I've grown to trust her insights. In this UPGRADE for the New Year, she asks us to get real about resolutions.

Kathy asks, "Did you make a resolution but you’ve already forgotten it, flubbed it up or forsaken it? It’s hard to believe a resolution won’t succeed, right?"

I (Dawn) want to say, "Don't go there!" I've blown more resolutions in decades of living than I care to remember. I wish I'd known a wiser perspective.

Kathy continues. . .

Although it’s against common beliefs that resolutions might not be the best idea, they often don’t succeed because of three reasons.

Let’s see what will work instead.

1. Resolutions are often “all or nothing.”

Haven’t we all resolved to:

• “...study the Bible every day”?
• “...never get angry at my children again”?
• “...always be content in everything”?

Do you see those “absolute" words: every, never, always? Who can do that? Only Jesus and we aren’t Him!

How about if we become realistic with our desires?

• “I’m going to study the Bible three times this week for five minutes each?”
• “I”m going to examine when I become angry most often and ask my friend to pray for me at one of those times.”
• “I’m going to choose one area of discontent and surrender to God in that area today.”

Those are reachable, but even if we don’t reach them—

God’s unlimited second chances called “mercy” are always available to re-boot our plans.

2. Resolutions are often beyond our personal resources.

If we are using a huge resolution to try to force change within us, it’s usually beyond our level of maturity or trust in God. Who hasn’t wanted to trust God in every situation?

When I’m thinking that way, I love to be reminded of Jesus’ compassion for the father who replied, “I do believe; help my unbelief” (Mark 9:24 ESV). Jesus healed his son anyway.

God knows the next step for our growth and He’s not impatient with our progress.

3. Resolutions are often beyond our control.

Did you know there’s a difference between desires and goals?

Desires are what we would like but we may not be able to reach them because someone else has to cooperate. You may desire to have a spectacular marriage but guess who else has to have that desire—and take action? Right!

There’s nothing wrong with the desire. The problem is thinking we can force it to happen ourselves.

Different from desires, goals are attainable and within your control. A goal regarding your marriage might be, “I will think of something positive I like about my spouse three times (or five—whatever is a reasonable number) this week.”

Can you do that regardless of your spouse’s involvement? Yes. And it may have an impact on your marriage towards making it spectacular.

These three perspectives can be drawn from First Timothy 4:15:

“Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress” (ESV).

The word “progress” is the idea of “a pioneer cutting his way through the wilderness” (Vine’s Biblical Dictionary). Guess how a pioneer does that? One step at a time with a machete or axe. Not one fell swoop with a mile long sword.

If God had intended for us to have instant, complete, “all or nothing,” perfectly-fulfilled “resolutions,” He wouldn’t have used the word “PROGRESS.”

He would have inspired Paul to write “perfection.” Plus, He says, “practice these things.”

That takes time and involves seeking the power of the Holy Spirit moment by moment.

So how are your resolutions going? Great? I hope so. But if not, don’t be discouraged. How can you consider revising them to be more reasonable, attainable, and realistic?

Kathy Collard Miller is a popular speaker and award-winning author of over 50 books. Her most recent book is Choices of the Heart in the Daughters of the King Bible Study Series. Kathy has spoken in over 30 US states and eight foreign countries. Find out more about Kathy at her website.

A New Year's Resolution Makeover

Nali Hilderman is a smart, successful college professor, but she knows how to make truth practical. In this New Year's UPGRADE, she points us to seek God and allow scripture to speak to our hearts.

"As we turn our thoughts from the outgoing year and focus on the new," Nali says, "I propose we have a makeover in any resolutions we make for the New Year."

Nali's suggestion intrigues me (Dawn), because I've made many resolutions over my lifetime, and so few of them lasted. Maybe a "makeover" is exactly what I need.

Nali continues . . .

As women most of us tend to enjoy the idea of a makeover. Be it a make-up facial, a weight-loss plan, or someone cleaning or organizing our house, we love the idea of a new, fresh perspective on something ordinary. 

I don’t know where the tradition of New Year’s resolutions began, but it seems that most of the time they tend to focus on us and what we want out of life. 

I do not necessarily think that is a bad thing, but as believers, we don’t live life solely for ourselves— WE live life for the Lord! 

What if, this year, you turn your focus to Christ and ask Him for His resolutions for your life instead of your own resolutions! 

I have been doing this for about five years now and it’s been amazing to see how each year has had a God-ordained theme to it. 

For 2016, the word that kept coming to my heart and mind in prayer was “rest.” For the first several months, I assumed that it meant I needed to rest physically and emotionally from a very busy and fulfilling job as a professor. 

Yet, as the months of the year progressed and God walked me through some painful personal and family issues, I realized His notion of rest was much deeper than I thought. Over the past several months, I was invited into a deep, soul-level rest of the knowledge of who Christ has made me to be and to find my identity in Him. 

This theme has challenged and guided me as I’ve navigated things this year. I know I am different now for it, and am grateful to see His hand at work.

I am excited for YOU to try this New Year’s Resolution plan. Here are a couple of simple suggestions on how to do this:

1. Remember God as your "Ebenezer."

In the Old Testament, God was Israel’s Ebenezer. Ebenezer means "stone of help." 

God commanded the leaders of Israel, through Samuel, to set up memorial stones in public places to commemorate how God had provided for and rescued the children of Israel (see 1 Samuel 7, especially verse 12). 

Take time to think about and write down how God provided for and blessed you LAST year.

A joyful and grateful heart for God’s blessings in 2016 will go a long way towards seeing Him as protector and provider in the New Year. 

2. Make time for a Retreat and ask the Lord for goals for the New Year.

This does not have to be a “long” retreat; even just a few hours of concentrated time will suffice. But think through and ask what things the Lord might have for you in the coming months and year. 

Ask if there are any passages of Scripture that might serve as a guide. This can provide a clear vision for how you are to invest your time, finances, resources and energy—and is usually far more exciting than “spend two hours at the gym every day”!  

You can do this for yourself personally, but you might also want to try doing this with your spouse and/or children. One year, my friend and her family decided they were going to focus on "being generous." That was their focus word for the year. So they set aside a part of their earnings each month and looked for people that God wanted them to provide for.

Note: if you need further help on how to do this check out a simple book called One Word. It teaches how just one word can impact you. 

3. Enjoy the New Year!

The best part about the New Year is that is a chance to restart, refresh and realign. 

Taking time to examine your life can be an exciting thing, especially if you walk into the new season with a renewed sense of purpose from the Lord. God is at work in you, my friends!

"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:10, ESV).

The Lord has work for you to do—exciting work, faith-building work, challenging work, difficult work.

Will you make a goal to remember Him as He worked in 2016, and join in asking Him to guide you purposefully in 2017?

Nali Hilderman is a professor of American history at San Diego Christian College and Director of the college’s Dr. Henry Morris Leadership Program. She studies women’s history and Christian theology, trying to make sense of how to be a confident, successful Christian woman who does not buy into the secular feminist mentality. She attends Journey Community Church in La Mesa, CA.

Give It Your All for Your Best Year Yet!

Pam Farrel, a mentor and friend, has always encouraged me to do my best, saying, “You make your choices, and your choices will make you.” In this New Year UPGRADE, she writes about giving life “your all”—in whatever God calls you to do.

“Give 100% effort,” Pam says. “You might not be 100% perfect, but give it your 100% all.”

This year, Pam and I (Dawn) have tried to give our health our best effort so we both can live longer and stronger for the Lord. I know firsthand the blessings of “giving it your all.”

Pam continues . . .

Two of my sons are athletic coaches. They often motivate the individuals on their teams with challenges like:

Do today what others are unwilling to do so tomorrow you can do what others are unable to do.

Simply put, Leave it all on the field. Be 100% present in your goals. Give your best effort—and encourage others to do the same.

I have a t-shirt by Union 28 that reminds me of 1 Corinthians 6:19: ”… your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit….” The shirt reads:

God created it

Jesus died for it

The Holy Spirit lives in it

So I must take care of it

Dawn and I have tried to be “iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17) to one another. The result has been a “sizable” weight loss for each of us. If our weight loss journey were a distance race (and it is—a new lifestyle for the long haul), we would be within the final stretch of reaching our goals. I help women navigate these kind of core, vital issues for living a focused and healthy life in my 7 Simple Skills book (see bio, below).

While co-authoring our book in 2012, LOL with God: Messages of Hope and Help for Women, Dawn shared how one of my favorite verses was easily broken into a common sense, simple, achievable outline of life priorities for a well-balanced, healthy person.

This was reflected in the answer Jesus gave to the religious leaders of his day:

“On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. ‘Teacher,’ he asked, ‘what must I do to inherit eternal life?’

‘What is written in the Law?’ he replied. ‘How do you read it?’

He [Jesus] answered, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind;’ and ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Luke 10:25–27, NIV).

“And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men” (Luke 2:52).

I have placed a descriptive sentence in parenthesis, phrase by phrase, to capture the full meaning of the Lord’s command:  

• Jesus increases in wisdom (He guarded his intellectual life)
• and stature (He guarded his physical life)
• and in favor with God (He guarded his spiritual life)
• and men (He guarded his social life)

When we dig into the original languages, we discover even more power to live a healthy life:

• Love the Lord, your God (Demonstrate your affection based on a close relationship with the Lord, the God who you have made your Supreme Master or Leader.)
• with all (It encompasses your whole, complete, entire self.)
• your heart (This is the psychological the inner self, your mind; that place of your will and volition that has thoughts, then makes decisions and choices.)
• your soul (This is your psyche that was God-breathed to make you uniquely you.)
• your strength (This is your total personal potential, capacity, capability, power, might, material and possession—with everything you are or have or could be.)
• and your mind (This includes all your ability to think, reason and learn.)
• Love your neighbor (someone who is a companion or simply someone who lives adjacent or nearby; anyone whose life intersects yours) like yourself. 

A heart-felt summary might read:

Show you are a friend to God by giving him your inner self—your entire “thinking, living, breathing, everything-you-are, everything-you-own, or could-possibly-be” self.

• Do you have talent? It’s God’s!
• Do you have a bank account? It’s God’s.
• Do you have physical strength, the ability to think, a heart that beats, any earthy possessions? It is all God’s!  

Simply put:

Love God with 100% of your will, your uniqueness, your capacity and your intellect. And love everyone God places in your life with that same kind of enthusiasm.

Show God your love, by loving the life He gave you with your best effort.

Which area of Luke 10:25-26 is God asking you to give your 100% effort in to make 2017 Your Best Year Yet?

Pam Farrel is the author of 45 books, an international speaker, and relationship expert who seeks to breathe life into people’s most vital relationships through the ministry she runs with her husband, Love-Wise. Today’s blog is adapted from her newest book, 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman: Success at Keeping It All Together. Pam and Bill have created a set of goal-setting worksheets to help you have YOUR BEST YEAR YET. (For weight loss, Pam used First Place 4 Health, a Christian, Bible-based wellness program).

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Geralt at Pixabay.

Back to the Future: Retreat to Plan the New Year

Kathy Carlton Willis is an encourager to the max! She knows how to motivate women to upgrade their lives. In this New Year’s UPGRADE, she suggests we all go on a “retreat.”

Kathy told me, “As a career coach I often hear the excuse, ‘I’m just too busy.’ I’m sorry, but I’m not buying it. Each person is given the same number of hours in the day.”

I (Dawn) do think there is a “too busy” level for all of us, but I’ve discovered better planning, delegating, and eliminating the non-essential and what God says “has to go” suddenly can free up a lot of time I didn’t know I had! So I am shouting a hearty “Amen” to Kathy’s words.

Kathy continues. . .

Sure, we all have different energy levels and abilities, but I’m positive we have exactly the resources we need to fulfill the purposes God has for each of us.

The next time you’re tempted to offer up the excuse, “I’m just too busy,” instead I challenge you to say what is the real reason: “It’s simply not a priority for me.”

We get to choose what is important in our lives.

One way I adjust my priorities is to have a yearly personal retreat, either at home or a remote location.

A familiar Psalm indicates what happens during a personal retreat.

“He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still and quiet waters. He  refreshes and restores my soul (life); He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake” (Psalm 23: 2-3 AMP).

Here are some pointers for your retreat:

1. Start and end with God.

Put your agenda aside. Focus on His strengths and skills. Fall in love with Him again. Be wowed by His power and wisdom. Worship Him, not for what He has done for you, but for who He is.

If you find your mind trailing off, use the alphabet to stay fixed on Him. Come up with a word that describes God from every letter in the alphabet.

2. Use a variety of worship techniques.

• Walk with Him in nature.
• Take photos of His creation.
• Sing along to praise music.
• Dance to the tune.
• Draw.
• Invent your own sign-language to symbolize the lyrics.
• Personalize Scripture.

3. Get filled up.

Surrender your life to God again. 100% God and 0% you.

Once you are filled up and yielded, then you are ready to proceed.

4. Evaluate the year just ending.

• What surprised you?
• What exceeded your goals?
• What derailed or disappointed you?
• What is still left undone?
• What desires and direction did God plant in you that indicates the New Year will look different?
• What was within your control to do that you procrastinated?
• What was not within your power that changed your plans?

Give the old year to God. Leave it behind without regrets as you move into the New Year.

Clean slate: either a second chance to get your current goals accomplished or brand new goals for a brand new year.

5. Ask God to show you His plans for your New Year.

Don’t merely ask Him to bless your agenda.

Be willing to follow God’s lead wherever it takes you—out of your comfort zone and into the faith-zone.

People ask my secret to getting so much done, and goal-setting is the root of my productivity. It’s not about success as the world sees it, or achievement. I’m focused on being and doing everything God has designed for my life.

Here’s a sample template for my goal-setting session. It varies depending on the year, so feel free to alter it to fit your needs.

• My spiritual growth goals for 2017 include:
• My mental/emotional growth goals for 2017 include:
• My physical goals for 2017 include:
• I will use my ability of ______ by doing:
• I will work on a relationship with:
• Finances will improve when:
• I will read ___ books.
• To be healthier, I will:
• I have a problem procrastinating. This year I will improve in the area of:

Fill out your goal worksheet, then sign it as an indication you will give 100% to God’s agenda.

Does God have a surprise for you in the New Year? Put on your eyes of faith so you can see it when it arrives.

Kathy Carlton Willis shines for God, reflecting His light as a speaker at writer's conferences and women's retreats, and as an author - contributing to three books and writing hundreds of columns and articles online and in print publications. She wrote Grin with Gracewith AMG Publishers and has several books releasing over the next few years. She and her husband Russ live in Texas with Jazzy, their hilarious Boston Terrier.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of depaulus, Pixabay

Resolutions, Goals and a Bucket List

Ready for the New Year? I always appreciate those who help us forget those things that are behind and push forward to greater things. Marcia Ramsland is one of those people, and I asked her to share this special New Year's UPGRADE.

"January 1 is the day to write a resolution or two," Marcia says. "If you’re not living the life you love or at least enjoying each day, then perhaps it’s because you don’t know what you want, you know what it is but haven’t worked to get it, or you’ve let life get in your way."

Last year, I [Dawn] picked a special word that motivated me all year long, but I have to admit, my office fell apart last year. Picking one motivating word has nothing to do with organizing your life (unless, perhaps, the word is "organization!") So I'm looking for tips from people like Marcia to help me get back on track!

Marcia continues . . .

Here are three ways to change that while you are poised at the beginning of the new year. Pick One Style for a New Year, New You!

1. A Resolution

A New Year's resolution is a January 1 personal commitment for the coming year to change a habit or lifestyle for the better, such as the two most popular ones, to lose weight and get organized!

2. A Goal

A goal is a dream with a plan attached, and is best achieved if there is a positive emotional response to its success, such as moving to a warm climate, redecorating at home, or doubling your income. Jot them on your new monthly calendar.

3. A Bucket List

A Bucket List is a wish list of things you’d like to do in your lifetime that captures your imagination–such as climbing Mt. Everest, running a marathon or writing a book. Fill your bucket list with 5-10 things you’ve only dreamed about.

What would it take for a “New Year, New You” lifestyle makeover?

Here is a list of 15 ideas to stimulate your thinking. Write your own list of eight to ten goals you would like to have or do in the coming new year. Think big!

• Prioritize my life and say “no” with confidence.
• Find a regular exercise program I like.
• Eat healthier every meal.
• Get to bed by 10:30 p.m.
• Reorganize and upgrade my office.
• Create a budget and save for my dream car.
• Plan one enjoyable activity per 52 weekends.
• Trade childcare for more personal time.
• Get together monthly with a good friend.
• Become team manager for your son’s sports team.
• Go on my bucket list dream vacation.
• Call parents/grandparents once a week.
• Send out birthday cards (or birthday emails) on time.
• Join a new business group.
• Wrap up leadership responsibility in current organization.
• Complete a degree over the next three years.

I know this setting goals works for two reasons:

1) Proverbs 13:4 says, “The sluggard (sluggish) craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.”

Practically, that means if we steadily work toward a goal, we will get there. Also, if we just set the goal, we won’t get there.

2) I coach women via Face Time, email, and photos to achieve anything from writing a book, or organizing their paperwork, closet, garage or office–in 30 days or less! Things they never thought they could do!

When they know I do three-month, six-month, and one-year checkups, they achieve their new, organized lifestyle–and maintain it. It works and you can see the “Before and After” photos yourself here. 

What works best for you: resolutions, goals, a bucket list or something else? What motivates you?

NOTE: This post is an adapted excerpt from Marcia's book, Simplify Your Holiday Season.

Marcia Ramsland is well known as the "Organizing Pro,” a national speaker, and author of over 100,000 books sold in her Simplify Your Life series. Marcia personally coaches individuals and organizations to be highly productive in managing their time, space, and life. Hundreds of clients and audiences from New York to California agree with her belief that anyone can become more organized - even YOU! Contact her at http://www.OrganizingPro.com.

New Year Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of noppasinw at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.