Persevering the Staircase of Suffering

Sherri Cullison is a phenomenal woman who has found God to be "enough" in her struggles. In this Perseverance UPGRADE, she shares three ways to cultivate perseverance in times of suffering.

“I am so excited you’re giving me your exercise bike,” Sherri exclaimed. "My uncle stood stunned, eyes wide and straight-faced."

I (Dawn) have to tell you, I met Sherri some years ago, after she suffered a terrible loss. Yet she was engaging and eager to see how God might use her in spite of her pain. I have been blessed to see her perseverance.

In this article, she writes about two different kinds of suffering she's experienced, and how perseverance helped her deal with both.

Sherri continues . . .

Truthfully, I really was excited about the exercise bike. For months, I wanted to lose weight to feel stronger and healthier, but I couldn’t exercise standing due to an old injury.

I had the desire to reduce fat and build muscle, but I felt chained to the recliner, hopeless of ever becoming fit. But now, with a little work, I could pedal myself away on a new journey of fitness.

I knew I had to start slow and easy, so I set a goal of pedaling for five minutes.

Quickly, my lungs labored, and my leg muscles burned.

My will grew weak, and I wanted to give up.

Then I pushed myself a little harder and finished my first five minutes. Hurray.

Now I’m a world-class athlete. Not likely. But what brings success to my goal? Persevering on this uncomfortable contraption for just a few minutes every day.

Several years ago, I thought perseverance wasn’t an option.

After losing my youngest daughter Sarah, I trudged through my grief-walk each day, dreading the next.

• My body operated as if fifty-pound weights were anchored to my ankles.
• My mind floated in a fog and functioned unreliably.
• Tears came easy and the hands of anxiety choked my breath away.
• There were days I wasn’t sure I would even make it to the next.

Sometimes we feel we’ll never recover from life’s struggles, but how we choose to handle our circumstances is vital to surviving life-altering changes.

The suffering we often experience is incomprehensible, yet God’s Word encourages us:

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope (Romans 5:1-4 NIV).

Certainly, I didn’t feel like “glory-ing” in my suffering when I lost my daughter, but God promised that in my suffering I would find perseverance.

And then character.

And finally, hope.

With hope, I knew I could get through this nightmare.

How do we grasp this hope that God promises? Three helpful answers are found in Hebrews 12.

1. Choose to Run the Race with Endurance.

Hebrews 12:1 (NLT)

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us.

Sometimes that means letting go of sin’s grip.

When we’re sinning, we don’t want to run with God. We would rather walk on our own.

Often, we need to downsize our responsibilities. It’s okay to say no, and it’s okay to remove those heavy things in our lives that slow us down.

Allow yourself the grace to simplify your life.

2. Choose to Consistently Fix Our Eyes on Jesus.

Hebrews 12:2, 3 (NLT)

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. He was willing to die a shameful death on the cross because of the joy he knew would be his afterward.

Think about all he endured when sinful people did such terrible things to him, so that you don’t become weary and give up.

Jesus endured merciless beatings, humiliation, and imminent death. However, we fix our eyes on our current situation and honestly, not enough on Jesus and what He endured.

Pursuing time alone with Him every day will bring light to our dark situation. Pray simple prayers and allow him to carry your heavy load.

3. Choose to Persevere in Living a Life that Others Follow.

Hebrews 12:12 (NLT)

So, take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong.

Paul wasn’t kidding when he said our hands would be tired and our legs shaky.

Some steps of life begin at the bottom of a long, dark staircase where we hesitate to even take the first step. But God tells us to mark out a straight path. Map your thoughts and actions, and don’t give up.

Push to persevere. Then watch others follow and become strong.

You’ve just built character here. And that, my friend, leads to hope.

What steps will you take this week to pursue your goals and meet glory in your suffering?

Sherri J. Cullison, author and speaker, knows the pain and devastation life brings. Whether your hope is treading or sinking, Sherri’s heart for hope reveals how we can manage our everyday struggles to claim joy and love life.  In her recent book, SOS: A Mother’s Story of Survival, Rescue, and Hope in the Darkness of Teen Suicide, Sherri shares the heartbreaking loss of her daughter and the evidence of God’s healing, forgiveness, and restoration. Sherri and her husband live in Arizona and have two children, seven grandchildren, five pianos, and one RZR. Discover more about Sherri and her story at www.sherrijcullison.com

Mashing My Remote Control Didn't Help

In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, I want to share four lessons I learned about "control."

I mashed the buttons on the TV’s remote control, but nothing happened. Already stressed from bad news, I frantically mashed the buttons harder.

I knew I was upset and disappointed by my circumstances, but I didn’t realize how angry I was too. In my anger, I fiercely tried to “will” the remote to do my bidding.

“I will conquer you, you stupid thing!”

But nothing I did worked.

My husband asked me a simple question, and as it turned out, the remote needed new batteries (Duh!). The remote required change at its core.

Later, I took time for some heart examination. I thought about how I'd felt so out of control, and the foolish, fierce anger that erupted over a relatively small inconvenience.

In that process, I learned—or at least, was reminded of—four lessons about God.

Four Lessons When Life Feels Out of Control

1. God Is in Control.

I felt out of control, but God is never "out of control." He reigns as the sovereign God. He is in complete, absolute control.

On that day when I felt so overwhelmed, I needed more than “remote control”—a general nod that God is somehow remotely involved in the affairs of the world. I needed to embrace God’s intimate control in my life: His personal knowledge and interaction.

God is the potter and I am the clay (Romans 9:19-24). I may feel God is making mistakes or being harsh as He shapes my life, but that’s just the clay speaking.

In my Spirit-indwelled heart I know:

• The Potter knows what He is doing;
• He knows why He chose me, a lump of clay; and
• He knows what tools He will use to shape me.

God is God. I am not. God works “all things according to the counsel of His will” (Ephesians 1:11). He rules over all His creation, and that includes me.

2. God Has a Plan.

When I feel out of control, I often scramble to make plans to alleviate my anxiety. In that stress, I’ve sometimes choose a wrong direction and only get into more trouble.

God, who created us, wants to guide us. His plan includes direction for our lives.

As a young woman, I memorized Proverbs 3:5-6. I knew that I could trust God to direct my life, to show me which path to take. When we choose our plans rather than His, there’s no guarantee for the results.

God’s plan may not look like ours, no matter how hard we "mash the buttons" of our plans. His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9).

That’s why James urges us to ask for wisdom (James 1:5). We need to ask, and then we need to expect God to give us wisdom. We need to be alert and sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s direction.

We are to move forward one step at a time as our Father God gives more light. Then we can be a good steward of our time and resources.

[Let me clarify one thing. We can make plans, but we need to be prepared and willing for God to hijack our plans, which may look nothing like our own. We need to plan wisely, but hold those plans loosely. God gets the last word (Proverbs 16:9).]

3. God Is with Us.

God promised His presence to His people. When we feel overwhelmed, we need to remember that our Father has not left us.

In His presence, we will stop being dismayed or overwhelmed, because His ever-present wisdom and power come to our aid.

Father God sees us, knows all about us, and cares about our struggles.

All three members of the trinity are present in our lives! The Father says, “Fear not, for I am with you” (Isaiah 41:10a). The Son, Jesus, says, “Lo, I am with you” (Matthew 28:20). The Holy Spirit is our ever-present Helper (John 14:17).

4. God Designed Our Suffering.

This is a hard point but a crucial one.

When we are overwhelmed by circumstances, especially in times of deep struggle or suffering, we need to consider God’s hand in our pain.

Our God has lessons for us in our laments. He does not design our circumstances willy-nilly without specific purpose. Our God is a God of order, not haphazard thoughts, words, or actions.

So what is He doing in our overwhelming circumstances?

First, God wants to give us a greater vision.

God wants us to see and understand who He is and what He can do. He wants to teach us how to be more like Jesus, and the Holy Spirit has a big role in conforming us to the image of the Son.

God is not put off by our anger or frustration; and He also does not ignore our tears. He understands our weakness—that we are “dust” (Psalm 103:13-14). But He wants to lift us higher and give us a vision of His work in us.

As we embrace what He is teaching us, we will have more potential to give Him glory!

Second, God wants to change us.

We want to fix our brokenness. We may try many “fixes” in the process, but God wants to smash our self-effort so we will lean into and submit to His process of transformation.

We can resist His design in our struggles and suffering: becoming bitter, angry, and perhaps paralyzed in coping with our pain.  

Or we can respond to God’s design with trust and contentment, believing our Father—while sovereign in all things—is wise, loving, good, and kind.

In light of eternity, our temporal problems bear a different weight. Our present troubles won’t last very long in terms of eternity. In the moment, His hand may feel heavy, but it is working toward eternal purposes we may not currently see or understand.

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Corinthians 4:17).

What do we make of the tough circumstances that challenge us, maybe threaten to undo us?

Tim Challies wrote about God's providencial actions in our lives in his post, "If God Would Outsource His Sovereignty." Challies wrote about a hypothetical scene in which an angel appeared to a group of Christians in church. The angel said the Lord had told him to distribute some "gifts of His providence." Everyone wanted the gifts of vast sums of money, rare talents, and high position. No one wanted the gifts of quadriplegia, grievous loss, infertility, widowhood, persecution, etc.

If we could choose our circumstances, we would likely never pick painful, hurtful, hard things! But God . . .

Challies concluded that as we receive gifts of providence from God's hand,

"we can rest assured that in the life of the Christian there are not two classes of providence, one good and one bad. No, though some may be easy and some hard, all are good because all in some way flow from His good, Fatherly hand, and all in some way can be consecrated to His service."

We might never choose painful, hurtful, hard things, but God does choose these circumstances for us because of their potential to transform us.

I encourage you to think about the four lessons above in light of your current struggle.

Personalize them:

• God is in control of my circumstance;
• God has a plan for me in my circumstance;
• God is with me throughout this circumstance; and
• God designed my suffering in this circumstance—even when it gets hard—for my good and His glory.

As I meditated on these lessons, I found my feelings changed, even though my circumstance did not.

It felt like putting a new battery into my remote control.

Are you overwhelmed today? Is there a struggle—financial stress, a physical issue, a relationship struggle, mental confusion, great loss, etc.—that consumes your thoughts and feelings?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth at Revive Our Hearts, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Mohamed Nuzrath at Pixabay.

On Tapestries and Pots

In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, Dawn says Christ-followers may not understand the mysterious workings of their sovereign God, but they must remember He is also a loving Heavenly Father—and His children can trust Him.

I love this picture. Two objects in the photo above are vivid pictures to me of God's loving, sovereign rule, and of my need to rely on Him.

Look with me a few minutes at these two objects:

1. The Tapestry

Tapestries are beautiful, traditional works of art. This one pictured above is a famous one, "The Lady and the Unicorn." * Tapestries inject great touches of style, personality, texture, and color into homes.

Some are simple designs. Others are intricate. But they all have something in common.

The backsides of tapestries are often a knotted mess.

Even if all the knots are neatly clipped, it's still can be challenging to distinguish the creator's design from the backside.

Unfortunately, we only see the backside of our lives.

God always knows the design He is creating in and through us—the Creator makes no mistakes, and His plan for us will be accomplished. But we may not understand all the whys of His working.

We are not omniscient—all-knowing like our God.

Besides that, His thoughts are not our thoughts, and His ways are not our ways—they are far above and beyond our own thoughts and ways (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Because He is God and we are not, we need to trust Him in the processes and outcomes of our lives.

2. The Pot

The second object in the photo that reminds me I need to rely on God is the pot next to the couch.

Pottery reminds me of God's sovereign rule. In the story of the Potter and the Clay (Romans 9:19-24) we're reminded that God can do with us as He wills. (See also these scriptures.)

It's a simple but profound concept.

God is the potter; we are the clay. God is the Creator; we are the created.

In a broad sense, God is the Potter and humanity is a lump of clay; and from this lump God makes various vessels.

It is His right to do with the clay whatever He desires, and He makes sovereign choices.

The giant lump of clay is dirty and flawed, but God pulls from the lump to create beautiful vessels of honor fit for His service.

And He makes vessels of dishonor that also serve His holy purposes.

(I know this scripture passage is controversial, and I won't go into all the ramifications of Paul's words here—but clearly he says God has the right to do with us as He wills.)

Paul makes the case: Who are we to "talk back to God"? Who are we to say that God is not just and fair? We're lumps of clay!

The point I want to make here is:

We humans have so much pride, tremendous arrogance, when it comes to God's sovereign rule. 

It's foolish that fallen, flawed creatures think they have a right to question and pass judgement on their Creator's actions. We have no right to demand explanations from the sovereign ruler of the universe! He owes us no apologies.

In an attempt to understand, we can ask questions of God as His creation and His children—David did; Mary did.

But we must not question God as judges.

Biblical Christians realize their desperate need for a savior, and that the Savior is Jesus Christ. Unfortunately, an irreverent attitude toward our Creator and our Savior can manifest itself even after we have received God's salvation. (That's why believers through the ages were told to fear God—to reverence and obey Him.)

Some Christians believe that once we are Christ-followers, we deserve "special treatment" from God. In other words, we have a right to never suffer, to never face tough circumstances, etc.

That is not biblical thinking.

We should expect trials and suffering, and in them, God calls us to cooperate with Him as He purifies us to make us vessels for "nobel use, consecrated and useful to the master of the house, ready for any good work" (2 Timothy 2:20-21 RSV).

God has bigger plans for us than we can imagine.

And so, just like the potter smashes and reworks clay, the Heavenly Potter may purify us by:

• smashing some of our dreams,
• crushing some of our plans,
• and reworking the "clay" of our lives to better fit His purposes.

Becoming a smashed pot is painful, but it is necessary, because the Father who loves us wants to conform us to the image of His dear Son (Romans 8:29-30.).

I love to address God by the phrase "Father God," because it reminds me of who He is—not that it encompasses all He is, but that it helps me understand His working in my life.

1. He is my loving Heavenly Father. His purposes in and through me are for my growth and good, and for His glory.
2. He is the sovereign God of the universe—powerful and majestic, all-knowing, just and wise. Nothing takes Him by surprise, and nothing is outside His control.

Knowing these two great truths brings me peace, no matter my circumstances!

In a book promo for Heaven Rules by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, I read these words:

"Heaven is ruling, always ruling. That doesn't mean that we won't experience distress, but it does mean we can find a refuge by looking upward and letting His peace rule in our hearts." **

Though He owes me no explanations, I believe my Father God will someday help me make sense of the messy knots on the backside of my life tapestry—the abuse, the struggles with sin, the cancer. And I believe my Father God will use me for His purposes, as the Potter designs and uses the clay.

My Father God does this to make known the abundance of His mercy and the riches of His glory. And His gracious providence leads me to worship Him.

It also leads me to trust Him. As I look at the photo above, I imagine sitting down on that couch and relaxing in the midst of my tough circumstances. How can I do this?

My God is in control—and He loves me!

Do you flinch at God's workings in your life? How does knowing God loves His children and is powerfully designing their lives for their good and growth, and for His glory, help you trust Him more today?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth at Revive Our Hearts, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

* The traditional woven tapestry in the meme, "The Lady & the Unicorn" is available at Art & Home.

** Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Heaven Rules: Take Courage. Take Comfort. Our God Is in Control, Moody Publishers, 2022. (Quote is here.) 

Keep on Comforting and Encouraging

This is something that I shared on Facebook on December 17th. I want to share it here as well—and expand on it a bit—because I think we all need a Compassion UPGRADE.

I've been "watching" someone who has suffered for a long time. As the years go by, some of her friends have fallen away, because it's awkward to them that nothing changes. It's so sad.

Confession Time

I "fell away" from encouraging a friend years ago too—a grieving brother in the family of God—because:

1. I got busy in life;
2. I didn't know what else I could say. I didn't know how to keep on encouraging him as he was hurting . . . and it went on and on for years.

So I just prayed—which wasn't bad, but it wasn't enough.

I could have reached out more.

The longer I didn't write to encourage him, the worse I felt. The harder it got.

I reasoned that I didn't want to be like one of Job's unhelpful counselors, doing more damage than helping.

But the truth is, there were many ways I could have expressed God's (and my) loving concern.

It wasn't that I didn't love my brother in Christ; I just didn't know how to "relate" to his suffering anymore.

I understand now that I could have continued to share simple truths:

• "I'm still praying for you," or
• "God sees and loves you."

I could have spoken God's truth into his pain from a caring heart.

I could have asked him, "How can I pray specifically for you today—physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, spiritually?" I even could have sent resources to remind Him I cared.

I learned that lesson the hard way, and it made me more sensitive to "continue" to encourage others who hurt.

We never know how God might use our words or actions to encourage others. If we take time to think about it, there are many ways to comfort those who struggle.

When we're with them, we might take their hands in ours, look them in the eyes, and say, "I love you and I'm praying for you."

Sometimes, it's just a matter of sitting with them in their times of grief or pain.

A woman once told me the most meaningful thing that happened to her all day at a funeral for her husband was that I simply sat beside her and held her hand for an hour . . . no words, just my presence.

Keep on comforting and encouraging—any way you can!

One other thing. I am thankful the Bible says we have a friend who "sticks" with us, closer than a brother (Prov. 18:24). He never leaves us, and He knows how to comfort us in our struggles. We may feel he has deserted us in our circumstances, but the promise is "He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you" (Deut. 31:8b NLT).

Sometimes it's "no words" . . . just God's wonderful presence.

How about you? Is there someone you might encourage today? Someone you once encouraged, but you've been busy, or maybe you fretted over what to say?

Why not simply stop right now and write to or tell that person you care and are praying? It will mean a lot.

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth at Revive Our Hearts, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of AlexasFotos at Pixabay.

COVID Came Calling

Author and caregiver Sally Ferguson has grown in her faith in God since the coronavirus changed so many lives in America. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she tells her story and the scriptures that helped her through a difficult year—scriptures that can help us too.

"When COVID came knocking at my door," Sally said, "I was unprepared for how it would turn my life upside down."

I (Dawn) don't think any of us knew how our cirumstances would seem to spiral out of control during the pandemic; but almost everyone I've discussed that with admits God taught us important lessons in our struggles.

We will never be the same; and in some ways, that's a good thing—as Sally explains.

Sally continues . . .

Our family had taken the necessary precautions and followed guidelines for safety. Yet, ten months into the lockdown, not one, not two, but five members of my immediate family tested positive for the coronavirus.

For the most part, I felt I had adjusted to the changes COVID-19 brought to our country and to our county.

I’m an introvert, so I loved being home more, and took online workshops. I made more phone calls to stay connected with my small groups, and checked in with my extrovert friends to see how they were faring.

However, April dawned with attending our daughter’s wedding via Zoom.

• I watched my husband weep at not being able to walk his daughter down the aisle.
• I mourned not being able to assist her preparations.
• The reception in our home state was postponed twice, and then put on hold indefinitely.

In August, elective surgeries were again allowed, and Hubby flew to Florida to help his parents while his dad recuperated from shoulder surgery.

September 8 his mom fell and fractured her back. What followed can only be seen as a bizarre set of events.

The COVID-19 lockdown prohibited visits to her in rehab, where she entered the barren corridors of dementia. She was released only as a shell of her former self.

Hubby came home and I made the trek to Florida to help with her care.

In November, our family packed up my in-laws’ home and moved them north so they could be close by for assistance.

December 21, my father—also in our care—was taken to the hospital with stroke-like symptoms, where he was diagnosed with COVID-19. One week later, my hubby and his dad went to the ER and tested positive.

On January 7, my father-in-law passed away in the hospital.

Why have I shared the events of my COVID-year?

Not because my story is unique. At this time, over 400,000 deaths have occurred in the United States from the coronavirus.

I went into some of the details of our lives because I want to share the most important point.

I have learned through the worst of times that God is faithful.

God never deserts His own.

When I ponder how we will continue to care for my mom-in-love and for my dad, I often wonder how we will keep it up.

But, God.

He gives us strength for today, and tomorrow will do the same.

Now, if I could just tape that to my forehead, it might be a daily reminder. I get into trouble when I try to figure it all out by myself.

What verses would I recommend to a fellow traveler on this road of suffering?

1. Isaiah 40:11 — The Lord will hold me close. He will carry me.
2. Isaiah 40:27 — God knows. He cares.
3. Philippians 1:29 —It is a gift to believe and to suffer. Yes, even in caregiving, because, “If you’ve done it for the least, you’ve done it for Me” (Matthew 25:40).
4. Psalm 66:12, 20 — We went through fire, but God has not withheld His love from us.
5. Psalm 73:16-17 — I am overwhelmed when I try to understand why COVID hit our family. God grants me perspective, knowing He is still in control.
6. Psalm 18:16-19 — Our enemy launched an attack on us, but God is our Rescuer and our support.
7. Psalm 22:24 — God does not turn away from suffering.

Have your circumstances brought despair? It may not be COVID-caused, but we can all relate to hardship in this year of change and uncertainty.

Hang on to hope in the God who sees you (Genesis 16:13) and is fighting for you (Deuteronomy 1:29-31).

• May He usher you into His sanctuary for refuge and renewal (Psalm 40:1-3).
• May He take your breath away in awe of His power over the things that leave you feeling powerless (2 Corinthians 12:9).
• And, may you stand confident in knowing you are never alone (Hebrews 13:5).

How will you seek the Lord’s comfort in your turmoil? Will suffering draw you closer to God, or will it put a wedge between you? How will that define your response to Romans 8:35-39?

Sally Ferguson is a caregiver for her mom-in-love, her dad, and her grands, and writing a Bible study for caregivers. She lives in western New York with her hubby of 33 years. Look for her words at EzineArticles, AlmostAnAuthor, Upgrade with Dawn, Amazon and sallyferguson.net.

Graphic adapted, created by Wirestock, courtesy of www.Freepik.com.