Help! I Feel Insecure!

Kathy Collard Miller is a truth seeker and truth teller, and she finds the truth that guides her life in the Word of God. In this Christian Growth UPGRADE, she offers wise, biblical counsel about insecurity.

"Feeling insecure is a common emotion and an attitude stemming from believe we are inferior," Kathy says. "What can we do about it?"

I (Dawn) never realized how insecure I was growing up, and I couldn't figure out the puzzle to make my insecurity go away! But just as Kathy shares, I finally discovered the biblical truths that helped me overcome my faulty beliefs.

Kathy continues . . .

I grew up thinking of myself as always guilty and always imperfect. I even thought God agreed with me.

But after I became a Christian at age 18, God began the slow process of showing me how He viewed me—as forgivable, worthwhile, and unconditionally loved. Little by little, my insecurity gave way to security.

Truth from several verses were a key part of this transformation.

1. Nothing can separate me from God—even my sin.

My insecurity had a lot to do with thinking God was waiting to see how well I performed before making my salvation "official."

Then I came across Ephesians 1:13a:

When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit (NIV).

When I was a teenager, it was popular to put melted wax on an envelope to seal it. I didn’t know that in biblical times, a scroll was closed with a wax seal to not only authenticate the scroll but also make sure no one broke open the important document. It was secure and safe from the information being changed by others.

In the same way, the gift of the Holy Spirit to us at the moment of salvation makes us secure and safe from the heart being deprived of its eternal spiritual inheritance.

2. God’s opinion of me is more important than the opinions of others.

A large part of my insecurity resulted from basing my worth and value upon the opinions of others. It won’t surprise you I’m a people pleaser.

I needed the approval of other people.

But Jesus’s example spoke volumes to me. At one point when He was pointing out why the Pharisees wouldn’t believe in Him, Jesus told them:

How can you believe since you accept glory from one another but do not seek the glory that comes from the only God? (John 5:44 NIV).

When I realized I was more interested in someone else’s “glorious” opinion of me than God's, I knew the reason I was insecure: people’s opinions were fickle. I couldn’t control them or convince them.

When I became convinced God’s love for me never changed, I felt secure because Jesus died on the cross and declared, “It is finished.” It could never be changed.

3. God Is Faithful.

Insecurity is fueled by thinking I have to make God look good by my good behavior.

I carry the weight of God’s reputation on my shoulders. If I falter, I’m responsible for how other people view God.

This fear creates tension and stress.

That lie was dissipated for me when I read 2 Thessalonians 3:34:

But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one. We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command (NIV).

Interestingly, the Thessalonian believers were far from perfect. Paul was writing to them to get them back on the right path by reminding them God was the one who faithfully held them, strengthened them, and protected them.

Paul’s confidence wasn’t in believers “self-made security” but in God’s faithfulness. Then God would get the glory by keeping the true believers secure in Him.

       How to TRANSFORM Insecure Feelings & Attitudes

1. Look for the underlying causes.

Most often we are insecure because of wounds from our childhood and teen years. The comments of others and how we were treated communicated we weren’t valuable and important.

By rejecting those lies, we can push against acting as if they are true.

2. Use spiritual battle.

Insecure feelings can be overwhelming. By actively rebuking the lie with truth, the powerful feelings will diminish.

Say it out loud—“My Father God, you tell me I am valuable and important to you. That’s why you sent Jesus to die for me. I didn’t deserve His sacrifice but you made it possible because of your unconditional love for me.”

Repeat that truth over and over again, even if it’s many times a day.

3. Rehearse who God is.

Our security is based totally on the nature of God. He is faithful. He devised a salvation plan He wants to keep. He has a hold of you and me that cannot be broken.

We are secure in Christ because it brings glory to Him.

It really is possible to feel less insecure and more secure because of God’s unfathomable love!

What truth about your security will you repeat over and over again by faith?

Kathy Collard Miller loves to help women trust God more through her 58 books and speaking in 35 states and nine foreign countries. Kathy’s newest book, co-written with her husband, Larry, is God’s Intriguing Questions: 60 New Testament Devotions Revealing Jesus’s Nature. Her website/blog is www.KathyCollardMiller.com; and check out her Amazon author page: https://www.amazon.com/Kathy-Collard-Miller/e/B001KMI10S/

Graphic adapted, courtesy of John Hain at Pixabay.

COVID Came Calling

Author and caregiver Sally Ferguson has grown in her faith in God since the coronavirus changed so many lives in America. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she tells her story and the scriptures that helped her through a difficult year—scriptures that can help us too.

"When COVID came knocking at my door," Sally said, "I was unprepared for how it would turn my life upside down."

I (Dawn) don't think any of us knew how our cirumstances would seem to spiral out of control during the pandemic; but almost everyone I've discussed that with admits God taught us important lessons in our struggles.

We will never be the same; and in some ways, that's a good thing—as Sally explains.

Sally continues . . .

Our family had taken the necessary precautions and followed guidelines for safety. Yet, ten months into the lockdown, not one, not two, but five members of my immediate family tested positive for the coronavirus.

For the most part, I felt I had adjusted to the changes COVID-19 brought to our country and to our county.

I’m an introvert, so I loved being home more, and took online workshops. I made more phone calls to stay connected with my small groups, and checked in with my extrovert friends to see how they were faring.

However, April dawned with attending our daughter’s wedding via Zoom.

• I watched my husband weep at not being able to walk his daughter down the aisle.
• I mourned not being able to assist her preparations.
• The reception in our home state was postponed twice, and then put on hold indefinitely.

In August, elective surgeries were again allowed, and Hubby flew to Florida to help his parents while his dad recuperated from shoulder surgery.

September 8 his mom fell and fractured her back. What followed can only be seen as a bizarre set of events.

The COVID-19 lockdown prohibited visits to her in rehab, where she entered the barren corridors of dementia. She was released only as a shell of her former self.

Hubby came home and I made the trek to Florida to help with her care.

In November, our family packed up my in-laws’ home and moved them north so they could be close by for assistance.

December 21, my father—also in our care—was taken to the hospital with stroke-like symptoms, where he was diagnosed with COVID-19. One week later, my hubby and his dad went to the ER and tested positive.

On January 7, my father-in-law passed away in the hospital.

Why have I shared the events of my COVID-year?

Not because my story is unique. At this time, over 400,000 deaths have occurred in the United States from the coronavirus.

I went into some of the details of our lives because I want to share the most important point.

I have learned through the worst of times that God is faithful.

God never deserts His own.

When I ponder how we will continue to care for my mom-in-love and for my dad, I often wonder how we will keep it up.

But, God.

He gives us strength for today, and tomorrow will do the same.

Now, if I could just tape that to my forehead, it might be a daily reminder. I get into trouble when I try to figure it all out by myself.

What verses would I recommend to a fellow traveler on this road of suffering?

1. Isaiah 40:11 — The Lord will hold me close. He will carry me.
2. Isaiah 40:27 — God knows. He cares.
3. Philippians 1:29 —It is a gift to believe and to suffer. Yes, even in caregiving, because, “If you’ve done it for the least, you’ve done it for Me” (Matthew 25:40).
4. Psalm 66:12, 20 — We went through fire, but God has not withheld His love from us.
5. Psalm 73:16-17 — I am overwhelmed when I try to understand why COVID hit our family. God grants me perspective, knowing He is still in control.
6. Psalm 18:16-19 — Our enemy launched an attack on us, but God is our Rescuer and our support.
7. Psalm 22:24 — God does not turn away from suffering.

Have your circumstances brought despair? It may not be COVID-caused, but we can all relate to hardship in this year of change and uncertainty.

Hang on to hope in the God who sees you (Genesis 16:13) and is fighting for you (Deuteronomy 1:29-31).

• May He usher you into His sanctuary for refuge and renewal (Psalm 40:1-3).
• May He take your breath away in awe of His power over the things that leave you feeling powerless (2 Corinthians 12:9).
• And, may you stand confident in knowing you are never alone (Hebrews 13:5).

How will you seek the Lord’s comfort in your turmoil? Will suffering draw you closer to God, or will it put a wedge between you? How will that define your response to Romans 8:35-39?

Sally Ferguson is a caregiver for her mom-in-love, her dad, and her grands, and writing a Bible study for caregivers. She lives in western New York with her hubby of 33 years. Look for her words at EzineArticles, AlmostAnAuthor, Upgrade with Dawn, Amazon and sallyferguson.net.

Graphic adapted, created by Wirestock, courtesy of www.Freepik.com.

Getting Needs Met ... or Not

Dianne Barker has a knack for pinpointing issues we all struggle with, and the biblical truth that helps. In this Perspective UPGRADE, she examines a question we may ask in the middle of stressful circumstances.

     

"Overwhelmed, I cried out to the Lord," Dianne said. 'What about my needs?'”

I (Dawn) believe the Lord understands our struggle. Humanly, Jesus had physical needs during His time on earth, and He looked to scriptures for strength. That's exactly where we need to go.

Dianne continues . . .

I went into marriage expecting my wonderful husband to meet all my needs and make me sublimely happy.

Our first few years were pretty much carefree. When I left a successful journalism career to be a stay-at-home mom, I had no regrets. Making a nest for my husband and our two young children brought me great joy. Meeting their needs had highest priority, although I carved out some time to continue writing.

Life has a way of piling stress upon stress.

As our children grew, we enjoyed the normal progression of family life: music lessons and recitals ... Little League and Scouts ... choral concerts and competitions.

We enjoyed our hectic life and managed the good stress.

Then heartbreaking stress caught up with us as our aging parents declined in health. I gladly poured out my life caring for them.

Increasing, daily challenges drained my time and energy, taking an emotional toll, and weariness sent me to the Lord.

“What about my needs? Doesn’t anybody care about my needs?”

He surprised me with an answer.

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).

I’d always viewed that familiar promise as assurance he would meet my physical, financial, and spiritual needs. A gentle voice in my spirit said, “I will supply your emotional needs. That frees you to meet the needs of your family.”

It was a jaw-dropping moment.

The Lord continued encouraging my heart with these words: “…as your days, so shall your strength be” (Deuteronomy 33:25).

My circumstances didn’t change, only my perspective.

When you’re weary and feeling your needs aren’t getting met, consider having a conversation with yourself.

• God placed me here—in this family, in these circumstances—on purpose. He thought I had something to contribute. He surely has a lot of confidence to entrust me with such a complicated assignment.
• I feel inadequate, but I’ll never be stronger than I am right now because God is my strength. And he won’t be stronger tomorrow.
• The One who engraved me on the palms of his hands (Isaiah 49:16) is fully able to supply all my needs. Knowing that, I needn’t depend on anyone else for this impossible provision.

Many years have passed since the Lord interrupted my pity party with an amazing promise. He met my needs and renewed my strength day by day, enabling me to pour out my life with joy, serving my precious family.

Circumstances are temporary. Our parents are in heaven and our children have left the nest. I look back on those challenging times with gratitude for the faithfulness of God.

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:28-31).

I’ve never regretted the decision to trust him to supply my needs. He’s surpassed my expectations. 

Who are you depending on to meet your needs?

Dianne Barker is a speaker, radio host and author of 11 books, including the best-selling Twice Pardoned. This post is adapted from I Don’t Chase the Garbage Truck Down the Street in My Bathrobe Anymore! Organizing for the Maximum Life. She’s a member of Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, Christian Authors Network, and Christian Women in Media Association. Visit www.diannebarker.com.)

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Engin_Akyurt, Pixabay.

4 Ways to Turn Intentions into God-honoring Action

In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, Dawn Wilson encourages action! Intentions are great, but they don't change the world.

"You can't build a reputation," Henry Ford said, "on what you are going to do."

That's not just true of a reputation; it's also true of anything important to us.

Whether it's in ministry, writing, a professional career, marriage, parenting, finances—whatever—intentions are only a starting point, not a means to build anything lasting or worthwhile.

Don't get me wrong. Plans and intentions are wonderful. They're necessary for success. But plans are, in and of themselves, fruitless. We have to move beyond intentions to action. 

Words are important, but ultimately, our lives are measured by what we do, not what we say.

So how do we turn our good intentions into actions that please the Lord?

I would suggest FOUR STEPS.

1. Examine Your Intentions

Good intentions aren't always good. Sometimes good intentions can be used to justify sin.

I laughed at a cartoon of a burglar before a judge. He told the judge, "Yes, I robbed the bank, but I had the best of intentions."

We see this justification of intentions in the life of Paul as he, thinking himself righteous, persecuted the church (Acts 23:1; 26:11-12). We also see misused intentions in the life of King Herod. He thought he was doing the Jews a favor—he had good political intentions—but he ended up imprisoning Peter (Acts 12:1-4). As Christians, we must examine our intentions before we move ahead.

Be sure your foundation for intentions is solid and biblical.

2. Count the Cost.

Jesus counseled His followers to "count the cost" before moving forward in a big project (Luke 14:28-30). On the surface, it appears He advocates careful decision-making.

But His counsel goes beyond our decisions to our discipleship. Masses of people followed the Lord for many reasons: free food, the miraculous healings and other miracles. But Jesus knew their hearts.

His counsel about counting the cost is part of a larger passage (14:26-33) that laid out what it meant to be His follower. While eternal life is free, discipleship "costs" us something.

It means recognizing He is Lord, and transfering the ownership of our lives and all we have to Him.

This changes the concept of our "intentions," doesn't it? "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps" (Proverbs 16:9).

Surrender every good intention to the Lord and His plans.

3. Fight the Flesh

I recently read an article that addressed humans' "internal guidance system," claiming we have "two brains: primitive and intellectual." The primitive brain or guidance system, the author suggested, was not evolved and it worked against our intellectual brain. So, accordingly, we know what to do, but our actions don't always synchronize with our intentions, because sometimes we are controlled by the primitive brain.

I smiled, suddenly "hearing" Paul's words in Romans 7:19: "For I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I keep on doing the evil I do not want to do."

Rather than a "primitive brain" and an evolved "intellectual brain," I think we are really battling sinful flesh. It is the sinful nature we inherited from Adam (Romans 5:12; 7:14-24; Psalm 51:5). With deceitful hearts, we struggle with the "deeds of the flesh" (Jeremiah 17:9; Galatians 5:19-21).

There are consequences to our sinfulness. One of the consequences is, the flesh can really sidetrack us in our best intentions!

Through God's grace and walking in the Spirit, we can overcome the flesh (Galatians 2:20; Romans 6:11; Galatians 5:16; Romans 13:14; Psalm 119:11).

We can starve out it's influences in our lives (1 Timothy 6:11; 1 Corinthians 9:27; Colossians 3:5; Galatians 5:24; Romans 6:6).

Fight the flesh to give your good intentions a fighting chance!

4. Check Your Obedience.

Many times we are sincere about our intentions, but we don't follow through.

At the Bema Seat of Christ, it will be our obedience that stands strong in the face of judgment—our good works after salvation, not our intentions (Romans 14:10-12; 2 Corinthians 5:10).

I have often heard this passage preached:

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven" (Matthew 7:21)

We can have lots good intentions as Christians, but if we are not obedient disciples, committed to honoring God with righteous thoughts and behavior, we will not be seen as one who has borne fruit for the Kingdom. We will, in fact, suffer loss (1 Corinthians 3:9-15).

One of the deceiving things about intentions is they can tempt us to rest in a false sense of confidence and security. Sometimes we think because we have already "decided" to do something, we're moving forward.

Deciding is not doing.

In the parable of the two sons (Matthew 21:28-31a), Jesus taught about intentions versus obedience. When a father asked his first son to work in the vineyard, he refused, but later thought better and obeyed. When he asked the same question of the second son, the son said, "Sure, I'll go"—but he didn't follow through. He didn't obey.

The first son did the will of his father because he acted in response to the Father's will.

Many of us have heard clear instructions from our heavenly Father—perhaps during a time of prayer or Bible study, at church or in another gathering. Our hearts were moved. We may have intended to obey, but have we?

Determine to follow through on wise, biblical intentions... obey the Lord!

Good intentions, like New Year's resolutions, are only as good as the results.

In summary:

1. Be sure your foundation for intentions is solid and biblical.
2. Surrender every good intention to the Lord and His plans.
3. Fight the flesh to give your good intentions a fighting chance.
4. Determine to follow through on wise, biblical intentions ... obey the Lord!

We will not be perfect in our follow-through. We are still sinners. But sinners saved by God's transforming grace have the empowering Spirit to help us fight our battles and obey the Father.

The blessing to my heart is a wonderful truth: Our heavenly Father is "the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness"  (Exodus 34:6). When I am not faithful to my Lord, He is still faithful to me (Romans 3:3; 1 Corinthians 1:9; 2 Thessalonians 3:3; Hebrews 10:23).

God sees the believer's heart and know every intention; and He is a compassionate and faithful Father. 

What are some good intentions you have that you have yet to act upon? Would any of these points help you follow through?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for Revive Our Hearts and a writer at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in Southern California and have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.