Changing the Way We Do Change

Julie Sanders' life is in flux right now with many changes, but in this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she explains how she stays grounded.

"One thing is certain about every woman’s life; it will not stay the same," Julie says. "Instead of being tormented by transitions and shaken by shifting seasons, sojourners learn how to change the way we do change."

Having experienced many seasons of unexpected change, I (Dawn) agree with Julie. We need a biblical perspective on change.

Julie continues . . .

Regardless of our time of life, status, or circumstances, we are all positioned for change. You may be coming out of a season of upheaval, in the midst of massive change or getting ready for transition. Still, we are taken by surprise, as if we hoped to escape it.

We fear it. Dread it. Try to avoid it. Yet, it comes.

Change can shake our foundation relationally, emotionally, physically, professionally and spiritually. How can a woman survive the waves without being overturned?

Every woman faces change, because every woman is “a sojourner on the earth” (Psalm 119:19). As someone who lives temporarily in a place, we stay for a time on our earthly home. Our lives reflect that transience in regular transitions.

Revolutions often include our loved ones, bodies, homes, professions and identity. We are sojourners and sojourners face change.

We can approach seismic shifts with three actions when the ground shakes and we feel it deep in our hearts.

1. Hold to what doesn’t change.

The Psalmist leaves no doubt about what deserves our trust:  

"Forever, O LORD, your word is firmly fixed in the heavens" (Psalm 119:89). 

God’s Word is reliable and unchanging, so we can hold to its truth when evaluating decisions and shaping plans. In God’s inspired Word we find comfort for the raw emotions of upheaval and confidence for boldness to move forward into new territory.

When all else feels foreign and uncertain, God’s Word is familiar and secure.

2. Look to the answers God provides.

Change surprises us, making feelings overflow in hot waves. Our own emotions are hard to trust. Well-meaning voices offer advice, but no one takes the place of our all-wise God who remains the sames.

His word is “a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (Psalm 119:105). It helps us sort through opinions and urges.

A job change, geographical relocation, new church or empty nest begs answers from our loving Father. Instead of downcast feelings, we can hope in the God our salvation (Psalm 43:5).

3. Run to God’s plan for you.

Grief, regret and questions often accompany transition, threatening to paralyze the sojourner with an overwhelmed heart. To press on, let lesser things fall away and reach forward to God’s good plan (Jeremiah 29:11). 

Determine not to turn to the left or right (Proverbs 4:27). Instead, when facing opposition or confusion, cry out, “I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my heart!” (Psalm 119:32) 

A sojourner may feel uncertain, opposed or weary on the journey of change, but at those moments, sojourners can take the next right step with a heart that says,

“Lead me in the path of your commandments, for I delight in it” (Psalm 119:35).

Know what will not change, look to God’s answers for your feelings, and do what God has marked out for your journey.  

We are sojourners, and sojourners face change.

What change are you experiencing in this season of your life? Are you coming out of, in the midst of, or leading up to a change? How prepared are you to sojourn through it?

Julie Sanders is a sojourner who just moved from the sweet tea South to the desert Northwest. The change collides with gaining an empty nest and leaving a professional ministry she loved. Everything will be different! She is grateful for her unchanging God and His hope-filled plans in a new season. Julie's devotional, Expectant, encourages expectant moms with truth and practical wisdom. Discover more about Julie at her blog.

Look Up!

Ava Pennington is an author and speaker with a strong focus on the practical applications of God's Word. In this Attitude UPGRADE, she encourages us to think about our perspective.

“Look where you’re going!” My mother’s words echo in my memory," Ava said. "I had my share of scraped knees as a child, often because I did not look where I was going."

Do you hear those motherly words echoing in your thoughts too? I (Dawn) can't tell you how many times I heard them, usually after I took a tumble. (One of my nicknames in high school was "Klutz-illa." But I digress.)

Ava continues . . .

“Look where you’re going” is good advice. Whether hiking through a forest or setting budget goals to manage my finances, it helps to be aware of where I am and where I want to be.

But sometimes I can be too focused on my goals.

When I’m hurting, I tend to concentrate on the pain or focus on what I think might bring relief.

I’m often like the invalid described in John’s gospel. This man sat in a crowd by a pool believed to have restorative powers. The disabled and infirm anxiously waited for the water to stir. Tradition held that when an angel moved the water, the first person in the pool would receive miraculous healing.

I can only imagine the intense focus of each person’s gaze. Watching for even the smallest ripple, waiting . . . yearning . . . desperate for relief.

But in order to watch the water, they needed to keep their gaze lowered. They were limited by their physical condition, but also limited by a perspective that always had them looking down.

Until Jesus entered the picture.

“Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6) A simple question with an obvious answer. But this invalid was so focused on what he thought was the solution that he failed to recognize the One who was the real solution. Instead of answering the question, he provided excuses for why he could not be healed.

“Sir, I have no one to help me . . . .” (John 5:7)

Looking up is not just a physical posture, it’s a spiritual posture as well.

How often do we focus on our problems or pursue wrong choices for relief? We compound our suffering because we do not look up. We fail to include Jesus in the equation.

Looking up may not immediately change our physical condition. It may not ever change our circumstances. But it will help us maintain an eternal perspective.

I’ve found that looking up requires me to:

1. Be intentional about what I allow to consume my thoughts.

The apostle Paul counseled: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8 NIV).

2. Choose to trust God regardless of my circumstances.

Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33 NIV).

3. Repeat these two steps again and again!

Practice may not make perfect, but it helps us establish God-honoring habits. Paul wrote, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:9 NIV).

“Look where you’re going!” was, indeed, good advice. I just need to remember the eternal component and view my circumstances with my heavenly Father’s perspective. For that, I really do need to keep looking up!

On what do you focus during your trials? Are you concentrated on what you think are the answers to your problems? Look up! Whether or not Jesus changes your physical situation, He will uphold you through it and give you an eternal perspective.

Ava Pennington’s newest book, Daily Reflections on the Names of God: A Devotional, is endorsed by Kay Arthur, founder of Precept Ministries. She has also written numerous magazine articles and is a member of Advanced Writers and Speakers (AWSA) and the Christian Authors Network (CAN). Ava also teaches a weekly Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) class. She is a passionate speaker who engages audiences with relevant, enjoyable presentations. Visit her at AvaWrites.com.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Survival Kit for 'Overwhelm City'

Dianne Barker lived in a "city" none of us likes to visit, but she found ways to survive, as she shares in this helpful UPGRADE post.

“Lord, please!” Dianne prayed. “Not Overwhelm City again!”

Overwhelm City. I (Dawn) hate that place. I keep finding myself there. But like Dianne, the Lord is teaching me how to choose wise responses in the midst of struggles and stresses I can't avoid.

Dianne continues . . .  

I didn’t see this coming. Over-commitment teamed with complicated circumstances and carried me kicking and screaming back to this place.

One, I could control. The other—not so much.

Saying “no” is a hard choice—but it is a choice . . . and the only fix for over-commitment.

Circumstances are life in action, piling stress upon stress:

crumbling marriages, prodigal children, career adjustments, financial difficulties, relationship issues, care-giving responsibilities, health concerns, assorted calamities, grief, terrorism, and fear.

Most of us relate to the Psalmist’s cry: “Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck . . . the flood sweeps over me” (Psalm 69:1-2).

My husband and I have been taking care of people we love for our entire forty-nine year marriage—our parents, other relatives, and even friends who were close as family.

After leaving a successful journalism career to be a stay-at-home mom, I continued writing. My 1986 book Twice Pardoned was a number-one national Christian best-seller. The ink had barely dried when God led me from my public life as author and speaker to a secluded life—caring for our parents as their health declined.

I spent the next fifteen years in Overwhelm City, struggling to keep my head above water.

Routine housework wasn’t at the bottom of the list . . . it didn’t make the list. I did the gottas: cook, wash dishes, make beds, clean bathrooms, do laundry.

My priorities: driving our parents to medical appointments, grocery shopping, cooking and doing laundry for our three families. One week I made three trips to the coin laundry due to plumbing problems at home and washed a total thirty-two loads. Attending school functions involving our children and attending church completed my schedule.

During that complicated period, the Lord gave me an amazing gift:

• peace that I was exactly where He wanted me,
• purpose, doing what He designed;
• and a promise that someday He would expand my life again.

If this fresh New Year finds you at the outskirts of Overwhelm City, a few tools from my Survival Kit will help you make the most of the experience and sweeten the stay.

1. Simplify life. Eliminate non-essentials.

“He has told you. O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8).

2. Draw near to Jesus.

He said, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

3. Accept that you are here by God’s design.

“But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold” (Job 23:10).

4. Believe God has a purpose. We don’t have to see it to believe it. If nothing else, He’s developing endurance.

“For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised” (Hebrews 10:36).

5. Keep a teachable heart. Ask: Lord, what do you want me to learn?

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you” (Psalm 32:8).

6. Encourage yourself with truth.

“Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you” (Jeremiah 32:17).

7. Rejoice. If I rejoice today, I rejoice in these circumstances.

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances…” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

How will you spend your time in Overwhelm City? (It’s a sweet community of broken people. Visit me anytime. I’m right next door!)

Dianne Barker is a conference speaker, freelance journalist, radio host, and author. This post is adapted from I Don’t Chase the Garbage Truck Down the Street in My Bathrobe Anymore! Organizing for the Maximum Life, which won the Christian Authors Network Golden Scrolls 2014 third-place award for non-fiction book of the year. Her forthcoming book, Help! I’m Stuck and I Can’t Get Out! The Maximum Marriage Maintenance and Repair Kit, will be available at www.diannebarker.com.

Conquering the 'If Onlys' of Discontent

Kathy Collard Miller's practical and biblical approach to life encourages me to live according to truth. We see that approach in this Attitude UPGRADE.

“If only I didn't have these problems," Kathy says, "I could be the peaceful person God wants me to be.”

Oh, yes. I (Dawn) have succumbed to "if only" thinking. Haven't you? The problem is, it is counterproductive. It never leads to contentment!

Kathy continues ... 

I really did think that the only way I could be content with life, people, even myself, was to be free from problems. So my thoughts often rehearsed:

• If my husband would just not work so many hours, I could be content.
• If my toddler would obey, I could be content.
• If no one would interrupt my schedule, I could be content.

But Paul's words counteract that:

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:11-13 ESV).

It wasn't until I let God work those truths in me that I grew contented.

Here's how:

1. Contentment is a choice. Paul said he “learned” contentment. That indicates a thoughtful involvement through a change of heart.

When I was discontented, I thought “peace” was something that happened to me, rather than something I chose. Taking responsibility for my choices began a huge difference in me.

2. Contentment is not dependent on others. Paul doesn't even mention other people. He uses “I.”

We know that the Apostle Paul had lots of interactions with people who didn't cooperate with him and even tried to ruin his ministry. He was beaten, imprisoned, misunderstood, slandered, and many other very hurtful things. Yet he didn't blame those things or people.

Unfortunately, I didn't learn that quickly and my discontent birthed anger, depression, and bitterness because people weren't cooperating with my needs. But finally, I realized that contentment comes from knowing I can't change anyone else, only myself. Only God can change others.

3. Contentment comes from trusting God. Although Paul's words don't specifically mention trusting God, we know that Paul trusted God. It was that kind of trust that enabled him to surrender to whatever God had for him: plenty, hunger, abundance or need. He believed God loved him and wanted only the best for him.

Basically, discontent is telling God, “You don't know what you're doing. You don't love me. I demand things be different.” I communicated my distrust of God through my demand that (1) my husband meet my needs, (2) my child obey—thus making me look good, and (3) everyone respect my schedule.

But when I truly believed God loved me, that set me free from demanding God do it my way. He knew best!

These three truths began to transform my thinking. I actually did become content. My thoughts became:

• “Even if Larry never changes, I can be the contented woman God wants me to be.”
• “Even if my child disobeys in public, God knows I love her.”
• “Even if people don't respect my schedule, God has a better plan in the interruption.”

Now, many years later, my husband and I just celebrated forty-four years of marriage and we couldn't be happier. My children love me and want to please me. Although my schedule still gets interrupted,  God is fulfilling His plan.

It really is possible to be content!

What are your “what ifs” and what truth do you need to believe to become more content?

Kathy Collard Miller loves to help women trust God more through her 50 books and her speaking in over 30 states and 7 foreign countries. Her website/blog is www.KathyCollardMiller.com and you can sign up for her e-newsletter at http://eepurl.com/UpP8n. In January, 2015, Kathy's newest book will be released: Never Ever Be the Same: A New You Starts Today (Leafwood). You can order Kathy's book, Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries: Finding Peace in All Kinds of Weather at http://bit.ly/1qlceir.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Faith Steps: Knowing God Is in Control

Kelly DeChant has always struck me as a woman of faith, but my respect for her increased when her faith was tried in the crucible of tough circumstances. Her strong testimony can help us Upgrade our faith!

“In 2007, yielding to the petition of our mortgage company to refinance one more time,” Kelly said, “we succumbed to their leading and entered into the refinance that would put us over the edge and change our lives forever.”

I remember when Kelly went through that scary time. My heart was heavy for my sweet friend and her husband. Though I’m sure there were many temptations to give in to fear, her faith in Jesus kept shining through!

Kelly continues …

With thousands of other families, we fell victim to unscrupulous business dealings—trusting in their professionalism versus realism—and entered into an area without researching, blindly signing our financial future away in one fell swoop. 

I learned important lessons and took faith steps as I asked myself three tough questions.

1. When faced with life-changing decisions, which will you choose—panic or prayer?

Was this is a surprise to God?  I think not! 

“I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you, not for calamity but to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).

When faced with the reality in 2008 that we were facing foreclosure of our home and the fact that we were well over $120,000 upside down, bankruptcy also loomed desperately in our future.

We had a choice to panic or pray! Panic would bring us fear, prayer brought us peace. Through that peace we sought wise counsel, and the solution was to sell the house before foreclosure took the house. God was still in control. 

2. Will you relinquish your plan for His purpose?

I could have never imagined leaving our little house where our children grew up to go to an unknown destination. It was not in our plan. But it was in His. Taking a deep breath and leaving our future in His hands, we prayerfully embarked on selling our little home in a short-sale transaction! Short is a relative term; there was nothing short about it! 

Within one week of our house being on the market, we had an investor willing to pay cash within $60,000 of what the house was worth at the time, and we felt hope. The process actually involved five different buyers over 12 months and two threats of foreclosure; but His plan was fulfilled as our home released through closed escrow. God was still in control.

3. Will you praise or pout? 

With our dreams of being long-time home owners dashed, and a subsequent move to a local mountain community, we chose to praise God in the midst of much uncertainty. Our new location lasted only two years before we were notified that this house was to be sold to lighten the homeowner’s load.

At this time, we had a huge decision to make. We again chose to pray versus pouting, and God shook us to a new level of release—this time, releasing possessions. Moving required down-sizing from a 2,700 square-foot location to a mere 670 square feet. Yet again, we embraced His leading and relinquished our control.

We sold most of our furniture, pictures and various household items to the impending buyer and thanked Him for it! God was still in control.

He is still in control today!

Leaning on Him and relinquishing control, we are certain that His purpose has guided us to His perfect plan for our lives! 

And it’s certainly easier to move now. Our load is so much lighter—in more ways than one! 

Panic, our plans and pouting … or praying, God’s purpose and praising Him. We all have a choice in our circumstances. And I’m so glad we chose Him!

When faced with tough circumstances, what is your tendency – panic, pouting, prayer or praise? Do you want God's plans, or are you still clinging to your own? How does Jeremiah 29:11 speak to you today?

Kelly DeChant serves as the Ministry Coordinator for Women’s Ministries at Shadow Mountain Community Church (SMCC) where her passion is to equip women for their life’s purpose through discipleship and mentoring. Kelly coordinates the Evangelistic Outreach events—Girls’ Day Out and Girls’ Nite Out—bringing the Gospel message to unsaved friends and family of the SMCC women. 

Graphic in text adapted: Image courtesy of phanlop88 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net