The Secret to Doing Hard Things

Kathy Carlton Willis is amazing. I've watched her go through a series of tough circumstances over the last few years, and she always manages to choose biblical responses as she teaches others how to deal with struggles as "God's Grin Gal." In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she shares her secret for doing hard things.

“I’m usually self-sufficient but lately I’ve realized more than ever that I’m not Wonder Woman,” Kathy says. “The demands of life not only highlight my weaknesses, but spotlight God’s strength.

Now I (Dawn) just shared how amazing Kathy is, but if you read her opening statement, you'll realize how humble she is before the Lord, always trusting His sovereign purposes. 

Kathy continues . . .

Everyone’s been talking about what a hard year 2020 has been. My personal worst day of an already bad year happened the day before Hurricane Delta hit our area.

My family sold our forever home to move to an area where my husband’s job landed him, and we dealt with many unknowns at once—more like didn’t deal with them.

The day finally came to load the last POD with belongings and hit the road.

Sometimes you gain life lessons through the worst experiences!

Here’s what I learned.

Don’t believe what they say a POD storage unit holds. 

We packed to the ceiling, but still had items that wouldn’t fit. So we had to leave behind multiple pieces of furniture. This day was a day of many mini goodbyes.

Packing and loading a POD with your mate will show you how well you work together and love each other. 

Russ and I passed that test!

I also learned I’m still strong physically and on the inside. Grateful for that strength to come through when I needed it.

One time when we flipped a heavy desk upside down to stack it on top of the washer and dryer, I turned to Russ and said, “We did this. We did this. We did this!

Sometimes you have to celebrate the immediate accomplishment before the entire goal is even completed.

Moving the day before a hurricane hits is not wise. 

Loading a POD while it’s lightly raining wasn’t great. But driving in a three-car caravan through almost zero-visibility on highways packed with merciless aggressive drivers evacuating the area is a nightmare.

My husband drove lead and went faster than we were comfortable following. He made a couple of turns not in the plans.

Mom drove in the middle and had a hard time seeing or keeping up with Russ. I was the caboose and my main job was to keep an eye on Mom and go where she went, even when she lost the lead car.

This meant pulling over three times for regrouping and calling Russ to reconnect. The phone map app in remote locations wasn’t reliable.

We truly got to the destination as a grace of God—I’m sure of it.

God can be trusted. 

When we were just two minutes down the road, physically exhausted from loading the POD, emotionally exhausted from saying goodbye to my forever home, and mentally exhausted from dealing with multiple challenges in addition to the weather, I whined to God.

I can’t do this.

God said, “Can you trust Me?”

Yes, Lord.

He said, “Don’t focus on what you can’t do, focus on trusting Me, and I’ll take care of the rest. I’ll get you there.”

Okay Lord.

For the 2.5 hour trip, I prayed . . . and prayed. 

You can do hard things. 

After enduring the above issues and getting to the destination, we had three vehicles to unload in the pouring down rain, making about twenty trips into our temporary dwelling place.

I was perfectly willing to get soaking wet and exert more physical energy and lifting compared to driving in those awful conditions.

Perspective can help you deal with yucky stuff by remembering something far worse.

Storms are called storms for a reason. 

The physical storm of Hurricane Delta was horrendous. Way worse than predicted. And going through it in a strange place was difficult.

We had three worn out frustrated people who craved space, all situated in tight quarters. Not ideal.

But we were safe. Safe in the storm.

 How to Do Hard Things

1. Trust God.

Without trusting Him, we’re actually trusting in ourselves. And sadly, we don’t have what it takes apart from God to get it done.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take (Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT).

2. Do the first thing.

Don’t try to tackle it all. Just do the step immediately in front of you. God will show you what it is.

The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving (Psalm 28:7 NLT).

3. Keep going when it’s hard.

It might not get easier until it is OVER.

“The Lord says, ‘I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name’ (Psalm 91:14 NLT).

4. Celebrate when to-do becomes ta-done.

In our eagerness to be productive, we often forget this step before moving on to the next thing.

This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24 NLT).

Your choices in hard times can spotlight the Lord’s strength and faithfulness.

What hard thing does God want you to do this week?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Look for 7 Trials Every Woman Faces, coming soon. Kathy is active as a book industry pro, and her coaching group, WordGirls, propels women toward their writing goals. She graduated with honors from Bible College and has served 30+ years in full-time ministry. Check out her Grin & Grow Break video devotions on social media. www.kathycarltonwillis.com

Graphic of PODS Storage Unit at Mobile Attic.

Graphic adapted of Hurricane Delta, courtesy of Wikipedia.

Press On in Joy

Kathy Carlton Willis is no stranger to difficult circumstances, but she emerges from them with joy. In this Spiritual Life and Joy UPGRADE, she calls us to press past the voices of circumstances or our own destructive self-talk and listen to another Voice—someone who can help us press on in joy.

“As I write this, I’m in the middle of the national pandemic lockdown,” Kathy says. “You’re reading it on the last day of the lockdown.

"I wish I had a crystal ball to write what our May looks like. We just don’t know.”

I (Dawn) don’t have a crystal ball either. All I know is we’re in this together. Kathy gives us words of encouragement as we press on.

Kathy continues . . .

It’s possible the lockdown will continue. During this time of uncertainty, what a blessing to cling to what we do know.

As Christ followers, we know:

whatever comes our way, we can grin with joy, knowing it does get better than this.

I can sit here and focus on my troubles:

• My husband lost his job due to cutbacks in the middle of January. It was hard enough finding employment at age 58 in the good times, but now there is much more joblessness.
• My health could be better. My chronics are flaring.
• The stay-at-home order has everyone a bit stir crazy. Some are bored. I’m just busy, scrambling to change everything that took over a year to plan that has cancelled. Now I have days instead of months to activate a new plan.
• I’m a caregiver to my mom. Even though she is very independent, it adds to my load having her living with us. Why? Because I give a care.

Rather than focus on my troubles, I will sit here and fix my gaze on Jesus, the author and sustainer of my joy.

For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!

So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever (2 Corinthians 4:17–18 NLT).

On my Facebook page, I asked about how to have joy despite brokenness. I asked people to describe their brokenness.

One person wrote:

“Top of the list is pain. I have no hope for the future with what I'm going through. It will never get better. Just getting worse. I want my life back but that will never happen. Depressing. I try to stay positive every day, but sometimes it’s just very hard when all you do is cry. I’m in so much pain and meds do not help. I can't stop. I have responsibility to help my family.”

I responded:

"I'm sorry to hear that. When we get depressing news and live with discouraging conditions, it can be overwhelming! I couldn't possibly know the depth of what you are going through, but I do have several chronic diseases that are debilitating and progressive.

"The main reason I can still have joy isn't because I have hope that I'll get better in this life (unless there’s a miracle!). But I know in heaven I'll get rid of pain once and for all. And there will be no more tears. My hope in God gets me through some awful stuff.

"Also, I focus on what I CAN find joy in. I tell myself that my body doesn't get to dictate my perspective on how I feel. It's only one third of who I am. My spirit and soul are two thirds of who I am, so they get the majority vote. That really helps me adjust my feelings on days I'm suffering.

"I hope that encourages you a little. It stinks, what you are going through. And I'm so sorry it's happening."

We all are going through something, especially these days.

What can we do to find joy in the middle of all this?

1.  Switch focus.

Instead of looking at the problems, look to the Problem-Solver.

I will fix my gaze on Jesus!

2. Praise in advance of the breakthrough.

Worship God not because He will fix the circumstances, but because He is God.

3. Seek to serve.

When we put our attention and energy in helping others, our problems pale in comparison. And we realize even when we feel stuck, there is still something we can do to help.

One example: I’ve been leaving sound bites on Facebook Messenger to friends.

In these voice messages, I pray for them.

Encourage them.

Tell them I love them.

There’s something about hearing another person’s voice that helps us all know we’re not in this alone.

And the greatest voice of all to hear is the voice of God, through His Word and his Spirit.

What voice are you listening to today?

Kathy Carlton Willis, God’s Grin Gal, writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith, whimsy and wisdom. She coaches others to remove the training wheels of fear and not just risk, but also take pleasure in the joy ride of life. She is known for her debut book, Grin with Grace, and for her grinning Boston terrier, Hettie. Her new book, The Grin Gal’s Guide to Joy is inspiring Joy Sightings everywhere. Discover more about Kathy at www.kathycarltonwillis.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Brightside Creative at Lightstock.

Pack a Travel Bag for 'Rough Road'

Dianne Barker's practical approach always makes me smile. In this Lifestyle UPGRADE, she encourages the wise choice to prepare now for any bumpy roads ahead.

"'Slow… rough road ahead.' A huge orange sign alerted me to upcoming danger," Diane says.

I (Dawn) never expected the rough road of terminal disease to rearrange all the elements of my life, but on that road, I also discovered God had already built into my life all I would need to face the struggle. Dianne's insight here is rock solid!

Dianne continues . . .

I saw the warning just in time to change direction and avoid the jagged route.

Life doesn’t afford us the courtesy of a caution sign.

Unexpectedly, we find ourselves on a precarious journey with no alternative course. If we’d just had advance warning!

• That dreaded diagnosis putting everything on hold.
• That surprise announcement the company is downsizing and we’re being let go.
• That family situation that disrupts all relationships.

Rough Road. And sometimes a long road.

A wise driver keeps crucial supplies in the car—flashlight with extra batteries, a blanket or quilt, and water.

Have you packed a travel bag for life emergencies?

My emergency travel bag is filled with God’s Word, and I began packing it as a young mom with many needs.

Memorizing Scripture related to my needs not only changed my thinking and my habits but also gave me a dependable supply of truth to navigate rough road.

Encountering a wall of worry, I relied on 2 Chronicles 16:9 to get me through it.

“For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him…”

Skidding across a patch of discouragement, I held firmly to Joshua 1:9.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

At a mammoth pothole of impossibility, I grasped Matthew 19:26 for stability.

“But Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’”

Hovering at a ravine of hopelessness, I caught hold of Jeremiah 32:17 to steer me away from the cliff.

“Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.”

I’ve been all those places. Had it not been for truth packed in my travel bag, who knows where I would have landed?

If you’re traveling a smooth road today, use this time to pack your travel bag with truth to carry you through the bumpy places ahead.

This will get you started.

1. God is faithful. “Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever” (1 Chronicles 16:34).
2. He will be with me. “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).
3. Whatever he allows to touch my life will be for my good. “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

Continuing the journey, I don’t know what peril lies before me. But I know this:

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him’ (Lamentations 3:22-24).

What truths have you packed in your travel bag to give stability, courage, and hope when you encounter rough road?

Dianne Barker is a speaker, radio host, and author of 11 books, including the best-selling Twice Pardoned and award-winning I Don’t Chase the Garbage Truck Down the Street in My Bathrobe Anymore! Organizing for the Maximum Life. She’s a member of Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, Christian Authors Network, and Word Weavers International. Visit www.diannebarker.com.

Graphic Adapted, from Road Traffic Signs.

When Life Throws a Curveball

Dianne Barker speaks clearly and wisely about many of the issues women face. In this Perspective UPGRADE, she writes about the inevitable curveballs in life.

Dianne prayed: "I didn’t see that coming! Lord, is this from you?"

I (Dawn) understand curveballs—believe me. A recent unexpected medical diagnosis sent me reeling!

Dianne's wisdom about life's curveballs is excellent.

Dianne continues . . .

I thought we’d agreed on plans. Still celebrating a national bestseller, Twice Pardoned, I asked the Lord. Where do we go from here?

Without giving Him a chance to answer, I responded to my own question.

I’ll just continue writing bestsellers, of course.

Then I got this curveball.

Being a fan of baseball, I researched the meaning of curveball and learned it’s a slow pitch causing hitters to be off-balance and swing too early. An experienced pitcher using a curveball can impact the game.

You’ve seen a hitter, anticipating a fast ball, scrunch his face and sling his bat after being tricked by a curveball he didn’t expect.

The ink was barely dry on Twice Pardoned when God began leading me from a very public life as successful journalist, speaker, and bestselling author to what I now call a shrunken life.

Caring for my parents and my husband’s parents as they declined in health kept me out of the publishing loop for fifteen years. No bestsellers.

I believe in the sovereignty of God, and He used that time to draw me to himself.

Looking back, that hard place was a sweet period of my life.

During that time, I discovered a simple explanation of the word sovereignty while having a conversation with my son who was home from college for the weekend.

I don’t remember the discussion, but I must have been bombarding him with concerns and fears. He made a comment that changed my life.

“If God isn’t in control, who is?”

What I know about sovereignty:

• God IS in absolute control.
• Everything that comes to me is filtered through His loving hands.
• Whatever touches my life, He will use it for my good and His glory. 

That’s what I know. And that’s truth to trust in when life throws a curveball.

When that happens, I say to self:

God must have a lot of confidence in me to trust me with this challenge.

And after sufficient grieving, I manage to praise Him in spite of my questions and fears. I don’t know the outcome, but I know the One who controls the outcome.

And He loves me.

“…I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you” (Jeremiah 31:3).

“But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hand...” (Psalm 31:14-15).

Life is unpredictable, but my response to curveballs can impact the game.

I choose to live by this decision:

“I will give to the Lord the thanks due to his righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High” (Psalm 7:17).

I don’t welcome curveballs. But I’m certain the Lord will lavish me with love and use my experience for good while gaining glory for Himself.

Knowing that replaces my fear with expectation.

“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him” (Psalm 62:5).

Let me ask:

How do you respond when life throws a curveball?

Dianne Barker is a speaker, radio host, and author of 11 books, including the best-selling Twice Pardoned and award-winning I Don’t Chase the Garbage Truck Down the Street in My Bathrobe Anymore! Organizing for the Maximum Life. She’s a member of Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, Christian Authors Network, and Christian Women in Media Association. Visit www.diannebarker.com.

Who's Doing This? Me or You?

Dianne Barker writes with profound simplicity, calling us to live out what we know to be true. In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she suggests two ways we can change thought patterns of hopelessness. 

"I’d been in a slump," Dianne says. "Again."

Been there! The last time I (Dawn) was in a "slump," it was accompanied by depression, hopelessness and frustration. A slump is not a good place to be!

Dianne continues . . .

Entangled with daily cares of this life, I seemed to be drowning in hopelessness.

How will I ever finish the work God has given me to do?

Long ago, Psalm 19:14 provided a solution for my negative thoughts.

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”

Putting that into practice began to satisfy my desire for a consistent inner and outer life.

But long years in hard places had drained my hope.

I felt a calling from God to write and speak, but circumstances hindered me. I didn’t seek fame and fortune. I only wanted to know when I left this earth that I’d fulfilled his purpose for me.

In 1956, Elisabeth Elliot lost her husband Jim—one of five missionaries brutally murdered after following God’s call to evangelize the savage Auca Indians in Equador. Left with a young daughter and an uncertain future, she learned God “will always give you the power to do the next thing.”

What is my next thing?

The Lord suggested I’d been in a slump because my goals were vague. Instead of worrying about finishing projects, I needed to simplify my focus: what shall I do today? I can be sure He will provide power to do it.

Another Elisabeth Elliot quote encouraged me:

“…waste no time wondering if you CAN do it. The question is simply, WILL you?

Your weakness is itself a potent claim on the divine mercy. ‘When I am weak, then I am strong’” (2 Corinthians 12:10).

Knowing I still needed direction, the Lord led me to a folder where I’d stashed notes and verses. I found this:

“Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love, that he may deliver their soul from death and keep them alive in famine. Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you” (Psalm 33:18-22).

The words left me silent before the Lord. What more did I need to know?

• My hope is in his steadfast love.
• He is my help and my shield.
• I trust in his holy name and I am glad.
• I hope in him.

Hopelessness is a thought pattern, not a reality.

When his disciples urged him to eat, “Jesus said to them, ‘My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work’” (John 4:34).

On the cross, Jesus said, “It is finished” (John 19:30). How did he do it?

He prayed to his Father in heaven and obeyed. That’s a doable plan.

To finish the work He has given is my goal, too. How will I do it? Pray to my Father in heaven and obey.

He knows about the hard places. In fact, He designed them.

As for fulfilling my purpose—isn’t that God’s responsibility?

And isn’t he able to complete what He starts?

Apostle Paul said: “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6).

My plan going forward: PRAY and OBEY.

What is God showing you to do today?

Dianne Barker is a speaker, radio host and author of 11 books, including the best-selling Twice Pardoned and award-winning I Don’t Chase the Garbage Truck Down the Street in My Bathrobe Anymore! Organizing for the Maximum Life. She’s a member of Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, Christian Authors Network, and Christian Women in Media Association. Visit www.diannebarker.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Pearl at Pixabay.