Courage When Christians Disappoint

Kathy Collard Miller always cuts to the heart of a matter. As she courageously speaks the truth of scripture into the toughest circumstances, her heart for women to mature in faith comes shining through. In this Spiritual Maturity UPGRADE, she addresses a difficult topic—Christians who dissapoint us.

"When Christians we respect disappoint us, we can be tempted to be discouraged and even give up serving God," Kathy says. "After all, won’t other Christians continue to fail us?"

I (Dawn) remember a situation when I was so hurt by Christians I served with—people I deeply respected—who made choices that hurt me and colored how I felt about Christians for a number of years. But I didn't want to stay bitter; I wanted to get "better" with God's help. He healed my wounded heart and taught me many things. Kathy says it takes courage to face down these kinds of disappointments in a biblical way.

Kathy continues . . .

We all know of someone whose service for God was weak and struggling. Even worse, it seems they have failed God.

What can we know about God that will help us courageously keep our eyes on Him and trust He has the power to help us?

First, God isn’t surprised by His children struggling.

One famous example from the Bible is in Acts 15:36-41. The Apostle Paul and his ministry partner, Barnabas, went different ways because they disagreed about whether Mark should continue serving.

But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other (15:37-38, ESV).

Barnabas took Mark with him and Paul took Silas. We can only speculate the hard feelings each one of these men held against the other.

Mark had disappointed them, yet his cousin, Barnabas—known for his encouraging heart—didn’t give up on Mark.

Even though Paul and Barnabas may have been surprised by all that was happening, God wasn’t surprised one bit.

In this case, more ministry was accomplished because the outreach was doubled.

Second, God wants us to remember that the final chapter hasn’t been written.

When Paul and Barnabas went their separate ways, most likely people were disappointed and discouraged. But the Apostle Paul later wrote to Timothy:

Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry (2 Timothy 4:11 ESV).

What? You mean Paul’s opinion about Mark changed? YES!

Mark matured and became increasingly valuable in church ministry.

And Mark wrote one of the Gospel accounts of Jesus’s life—the Gospel of Mark! Commentators believe he wrote it primarily based on the stories from Peter.

Third, God’s forgiveness and ability to restore are unlimited.

When we are in the midst of feeling discouraged because a Christian has seemingly failed us, we must remember God isn’t flummoxed or confused wondering how He’s going to bring glory to Himself.

• He never says someone can’t be forgiven or used for His glory.
• God will discipline and restore any repentant person to fellowship—and that applies to the person who failed you.
• Of course, he or she must choose to be restored, but God’s power to forgive is always available.

FOUR IDEAS for responding courageously when others disappoint you.

1. Take Your Eyes Off Fallible People.

If we are disappointed in someone, we “appointed” them as a kind of god who we expect will be perfect.

Only Jehovah God is perfect.

God never disappoints us, but people always will.

2. Focus on Who You Are Really Serving.

Sometimes our people-pleasing tendencies want the approval of other people. We feel let down when that person fails and is no longer giving us the attention we crave.

We must learn to more and more look to God Himself for encouragement. That doesn’t mean God won’t use other people to bless us, but He must be the main source.

3. Don’t Take Another Person's Failure Personally.  

If someone fails us, we could take it personally by thinking we failed them because we didn’t keep them in line.

We might blame ourselves, but the Holy Spirit holds accountable each and every person for their own choices.

Truly no man can ransom another, or give to God the price of his life (Psalm 49:7 ESV).

4. Evaluate Your Heart for Any Idols.

Sometimes we are discouraged because we’ve put another person on a pedestal. A spiritual idol is anyone or anything we value more than God.

Our discouragement may mean that person who turned away from God had become our idol. John’s last comment in his first epistle is, Little children, keep yourselves from idols (5:21 ESV).

When you feel discouraged by the actions of another Christian, ASK God for His provision of courage and greater trust in Him.

And of course, PRAY for that believer to return to full commitment to the Lord!

Can you think of anyone who you might be putting on a pedestal?

Kathy Collard Miller loves to help women trust God more through her 59 books and speaking in 35 states and 9 foreign countries. Her website/blog is www.KathyCollardMiller.com. Kathy’s newest book is a women’s Bible study on courage, from which this post is excerpted: Heart of Courage: Daughter of the King Bible Study Series. Check out Kathy’s Amazon author page at: https://www.amazon.com/Kathy-Collard-Miller/e/B001KMI10S/

Graphic, courtesy of Liza Summer at Pexels.

Slaughtering the Sacred Cow of Busyness

Kathy Howard—writer of Bible studies, speaker, wife and mom. She “gets” 24/7 life.

“We’re up before the sun, pound the pavement or keyboard all day, then spend the after-work hours doing housework or homework, cheering at ballgames, and volunteering,” Kathy says. “We’re crazy busy and proud of it.”

OK … she’s gone to meddling. But I love Kathy for her gut-level honesty, so I have to listen.

She continues …

Our culture values busyness. We tend to see a “busy” person as in demand, talented, and indispensable. “Busy” is good. Downtime is bad.

The Danger of Busy

So what’s wrong with “busy?” Everybody’s doing it.

Our society encourages us to push the limits of our time, resources, and physical ability in order to do more, make more, and be more. Often, these limit-busters are positive, beneficial activities.

But over-pursuing has a price. We’re too busy for unhurried conversation with our families. Too busy for physical rest. Too busy to foster relationships.

The greatest danger of “busy” is little room remains for God. No time to soak in His presence or seek His guidance or respond when He calls. No time to develop deep intimacy with the only One who can meet our every need.

Dethrone the Idol of Busyness

I’m not saying we should shred our calendars. God’s plan for us includes good works. But God also knows our limits. If we don’t have time to rest, renew, or relate, then we’re too busy!

God desires our lives to be “full,” not busy. “Busy” is packed with activity – some purposed by God, but a lot purposed strictly by us. “Full” describes a life filled up with the plans, purposes, and peace of God. Relationships, service, good works, and time characterize a “full” life. Time to focus on things that matter for eternity.

I challenge you to tackle something that could change your life. Use the following prompts to evaluate the way you spend your time. The goal is to transform your “busy” life into a “full” life.

1. Start with prayer - Ask for God’s guidance to bring your life in line with His best.
2. Involve your family – Explain what you’re doing and why. Sit down together and prayerfully consider your family’s commitments, including church activities.
3. Make a thorough list - Include any activities you and your family do on a regular basis.
4. Wait - Let it sit for a few days. Ask God to show you what things are from Him and what aren’t.
5. Discover your place of service - God does have a place of service for you in your church. Ask Him where He wants you.
6. Make cuts - Cut out involvement as God directs. Unless God says otherwise, fulfill any existing short-term commitments.
7. Set limits - Set limits on your children’s activities too. Teach them now how to live life at God’s pace, with plenty of room for Him.

Now make a fresh commitment to your relationship with God. Regular time with Jesus will help you leave “busy” behind and fall headlong into the full, abundant life He promised!

Would you describe your life as “busy” or “full?” What activity takes up the most time?

Kathy Howard helps women live an unshakeable faith for life by encouraging them to stand firm on our rock-solid God no matter the circumstances of life. Kathy, who has been teaching the Bible for over 25 years, is the author of five books. Her most recent, Fed Up with Flat Faith, helps readers discover 10 attitudes and actions to “pump up” their faith. Find out about her books and speaking ministry and get discipleship tools and leader helps at her website: www.kathyhoward.org.

How to Get Rid of a 'Little g' God

Paula Hendricks is an amazing young woman with a heart for God. She recently wrote the book Confessions of a Boy Crazy Girl, and one chapter in particular caught my attention.

In the midst of stressing to singles how a guy can be an idol, she wrote about “little g” gods in general that become idols, versus pursuing the “big G”—God Himself.

“I’m not the only one tempted to turn back to my idols,” Paula wrote. “Over and over in the Old Testament, God’s people crushed their idols only to remake them and go right back to them.”

Paula’s insights about idol-making make me question why I sometimes allow idols to linger,  unsmashed, in my own life.

She continues …

Turns out, crushing idols and turning to God isn’t a once-in-a-lifetime experience but a moment-by-moment journey. That’s why, nearly every morning, I pray Psalm 90:14: Satisfy [me] in the morning with your unfailing love, that [I] may rejoice and be glad all [my] days.

Thomas Chalmers was a pastor in nineteenth-century Scotland, and his sermon “The Expulsive Power of a New Affection” captured my heart immediately.

The gist of it is that you can’t talk yourself out of loving someone or something. Your emotions simply won’t cooperate. But you can find someone or something even more lovely to delight in.

I experienced this principle firsthand the month my doctor put me on a strict diet without sugar, bread, and lots of other yummy foods. It sounded like torture, pure and simple. I honestly didn’t know how I’d survive. I was certain I’d spend the entire month dreaming about and drooling over iced sugar cookies, Nerds, and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

But an astonishing thing happened. I didn’t even miss my beloved sugar. You know why? Instead of snacking on raw broccoli all month (yuck!), I went to the health-food store, researched interesting recipes, and spent hours in the kitchen preparing unique dishes.

Was it a lot of work? You’d better believe it. But was it even tastier than processed, refined sugar? Absolutely.

That, my friend, is how you get rid of an idol—by investing your time in relishing something (or Someone!) better.

It’s what Psalm 34:8 tells us to do: Taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man [and girl] who takes refuge in him!

As you pursue Christ with everything in you—as you put extra effort into tasting and seeing His goodness—you’ll find that your “little g” gods don’t appeal to you like they once did.

What can you start to do today to pursue Jesus with everything in you so that your “little g” gods start to lose their appeal?

Paula Hendricks graduated from the Moody Bible Institute in 2005 with a degree in Print Communication. Two weeks later, she began working at Revive Our Hearts, where she currently serves as Writing and Editorial Manager. Her first book is Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl. When Paula isn’t blogging, you’ll find her hanging out with people, indulging her insatiable curiosity by asking lots of questions.