Courage When Christians Disappoint

Kathy Collard Miller always cuts to the heart of a matter. As she courageously speaks the truth of scripture into the toughest circumstances, her heart for women to mature in faith comes shining through. In this Spiritual Maturity UPGRADE, she addresses a difficult topic—Christians who dissapoint us.

"When Christians we respect disappoint us, we can be tempted to be discouraged and even give up serving God," Kathy says. "After all, won’t other Christians continue to fail us?"

I (Dawn) remember a situation when I was so hurt by Christians I served with—people I deeply respected—who made choices that hurt me and colored how I felt about Christians for a number of years. But I didn't want to stay bitter; I wanted to get "better" with God's help. He healed my wounded heart and taught me many things. Kathy says it takes courage to face down these kinds of disappointments in a biblical way.

Kathy continues . . .

We all know of someone whose service for God was weak and struggling. Even worse, it seems they have failed God.

What can we know about God that will help us courageously keep our eyes on Him and trust He has the power to help us?

First, God isn’t surprised by His children struggling.

One famous example from the Bible is in Acts 15:36-41. The Apostle Paul and his ministry partner, Barnabas, went different ways because they disagreed about whether Mark should continue serving.

But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other (15:37-38, ESV).

Barnabas took Mark with him and Paul took Silas. We can only speculate the hard feelings each one of these men held against the other.

Mark had disappointed them, yet his cousin, Barnabas—known for his encouraging heart—didn’t give up on Mark.

Even though Paul and Barnabas may have been surprised by all that was happening, God wasn’t surprised one bit.

In this case, more ministry was accomplished because the outreach was doubled.

Second, God wants us to remember that the final chapter hasn’t been written.

When Paul and Barnabas went their separate ways, most likely people were disappointed and discouraged. But the Apostle Paul later wrote to Timothy:

Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry (2 Timothy 4:11 ESV).

What? You mean Paul’s opinion about Mark changed? YES!

Mark matured and became increasingly valuable in church ministry.

And Mark wrote one of the Gospel accounts of Jesus’s life—the Gospel of Mark! Commentators believe he wrote it primarily based on the stories from Peter.

Third, God’s forgiveness and ability to restore are unlimited.

When we are in the midst of feeling discouraged because a Christian has seemingly failed us, we must remember God isn’t flummoxed or confused wondering how He’s going to bring glory to Himself.

• He never says someone can’t be forgiven or used for His glory.
• God will discipline and restore any repentant person to fellowship—and that applies to the person who failed you.
• Of course, he or she must choose to be restored, but God’s power to forgive is always available.

FOUR IDEAS for responding courageously when others disappoint you.

1. Take Your Eyes Off Fallible People.

If we are disappointed in someone, we “appointed” them as a kind of god who we expect will be perfect.

Only Jehovah God is perfect.

God never disappoints us, but people always will.

2. Focus on Who You Are Really Serving.

Sometimes our people-pleasing tendencies want the approval of other people. We feel let down when that person fails and is no longer giving us the attention we crave.

We must learn to more and more look to God Himself for encouragement. That doesn’t mean God won’t use other people to bless us, but He must be the main source.

3. Don’t Take Another Person's Failure Personally.  

If someone fails us, we could take it personally by thinking we failed them because we didn’t keep them in line.

We might blame ourselves, but the Holy Spirit holds accountable each and every person for their own choices.

Truly no man can ransom another, or give to God the price of his life (Psalm 49:7 ESV).

4. Evaluate Your Heart for Any Idols.

Sometimes we are discouraged because we’ve put another person on a pedestal. A spiritual idol is anyone or anything we value more than God.

Our discouragement may mean that person who turned away from God had become our idol. John’s last comment in his first epistle is, Little children, keep yourselves from idols (5:21 ESV).

When you feel discouraged by the actions of another Christian, ASK God for His provision of courage and greater trust in Him.

And of course, PRAY for that believer to return to full commitment to the Lord!

Can you think of anyone who you might be putting on a pedestal?

Kathy Collard Miller loves to help women trust God more through her 59 books and speaking in 35 states and 9 foreign countries. Her website/blog is www.KathyCollardMiller.com. Kathy’s newest book is a women’s Bible study on courage, from which this post is excerpted: Heart of Courage: Daughter of the King Bible Study Series. Check out Kathy’s Amazon author page at: https://www.amazon.com/Kathy-Collard-Miller/e/B001KMI10S/

Graphic, courtesy of Liza Summer at Pexels.

The Last Hour

Kolleen Lucariello is one of my friends who always sees a spiritual application in the simplest of life's situations. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she reminds us of a Bible story about "watchfulness," and how it might encourage us to be more alert to opportunities to help others.

“How’d you like the ending, hun?”—my husband teased as I awoke from my slumber.

"I’d done it again," Kolleen says. "I'd waited weeks to see who would win the finale of our favorite voice competition, only to sleep through the final hour."

HA! I (Dawn) have done that too! So frustrating! But Kolleen couldn't just leave it there, and I'm glad she didn't.

Kolleen continues . . .

Sleep—necessary for the wellness of our bodies, and yet, it seems it can also carry quite a cost when missed opportunities are its aftermath.

Some a bit more significant than others. I mean, seriously, missing the finale of a television show due to a snooze on the couch won’t destroy a life. However, falling asleep on the job, might.

Sometimes, we can be robbed of sleep and then there are also occasions, unfortunately, when sleep can rob us.

My heart was hit with this thought as I read through the account of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. I saw with fresh eyes how Peter, James, and John may have felt after they realized the last hour they’d spent with Jesus—before His arrest—had been spent sleeping.

Can you imagine?

When I find myself in disbelief, my mind ruminates, so: perhaps they mulled over and over again, “My last hour with Jesus and I fell asleep.” He asked me to “Stay here and keep watch with me” and I fell asleep (Mark 14:34b). Not once or twice, but three times.

I could have watched with Him.

I could have done what He asked of me.

Instead, I fell asleep and missed the last hour I had to spend with Him.

What did Jesus ask Peter when He found him sleeping? “Simon, are you asleep? Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour?”

A question that feels like it holds the disappointment of unmet expectations.

When His heart was “overwhelmed with anguish and crushed with grief” and “It felt as though He was dying” (TPT), Jesus needed His friends to keep watch and wait with Him—the same friends that had boasted of their willingness to suffer and die alongside Him.

• Wait with Him as He wept in the Garden.
• Watch with Him in His distress and anxiety.
• Pray for the battle He was about to endure.

Now, I don’t presume to believe I would have done anything different; my flesh isn’t any stronger than Peter's, James', or John’s.

In fact, as I contemplate the events of that night in the garden, I question my own ability to remain steadfast and alert when someone needs me like Jesus needed them.

Perhaps I, like Peter, James and John, have good intentions to remain alert and watch, but instead gave into the temptation to drift off in sleep—sidetracked by my own schedule or crisis while allowing my own comfort to dictate my level of commitment.

Quite possibly, if I were to lean in and listen closely, I might hear Jesus whisper, “Could you not watch and pray for them even one hour?”

OUCH!

Quite possibly, because Jesus knew His need in the garden that night, God is asking us to be watchful of others in their own hour of need.

Watch now before the hour passes.

Remain AWAKE for:

Someone whose soul is crushed by the weight of grief?  

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:4, NLT).

Someone whose anxious thoughts are trying to overtake them?

“For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance” (Philippians 1:19 NLT).

Someone paralyzed by fear and begging God for the strength to endure the battle?

“Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere” (Ephesians 6:18 NLT).

Friends, it’s time to review the last hour. Did sleep rob you of an opportunity to be present with someone in their time of need?

Remain watchful that your own exhaustion isn’t used against you as a temptation to lull you to sleep.

Remember, it’s your flesh that is weak, not your spirit.

Let your spirit lead the way!

“The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results” (James 5:16 NLT).  

Let’s produce some wonderful results.

Kolleen Lucariello, #TheABCGirl, is the author of #beYOU: Change Your Identity One Letter at a Time and is the Co-Director of Activ8Her, Inc. She is passionate to every woman realize her identity in Christ and live accordingly. Kolleen and her hubby, Pat, make their home in Central New York. She’s the mom of three grown children and Mimi to six incredible grands. For more information about Kolleen, visit www.speakkolleen.com

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Victoria Borodinova at Pixabay.

Where's My Reward?

Susan K. Stewart is a seriously practical woman who writes books that help writers, teachers and others. I'm guessing she probably doesn't get a lot of praise; but she is a woman of excellence. In this Service and Ministry  UPGRADE, she encourages us to think about service in a fresh way.

“We know we’re called to serve,” Susan says. “but we don’t think about service as a reward. And that’s something we can cultivate.”

Hmmm.... I (Dawn) don't think I've ever truly thought about service that way.

Susan continues . . .

Anne Steele’s hymn, “Self-Consecration,” was published in 1848*. More than 150 years later, the words of the second verse are a prayer I want to not just say, but also mean.

I will resolve, with all my heart,

With all my powers, to serve the Lord;

Nor from His precepts e’er depart,

Whose service is a rich reward.

The striking part of this verse is not the resolve to serve the Lord and keep his precepts. What my heart clings to is “service is a rich REWARD.”

We know we’re called to serve. Haven’t we heard hundreds of sermons? Read dozens of books on a servant’s heart, servant leadership or service as worship?

Many espouse the idea we serve to receive a reward, whether here or in heaven.

Very few say anything about the act of serving BEING the reward.

Often we think of reward as a tangible item, like a trophy or medal.

I get a humorous picture in my mind of us standing on platforms as God directs the angels to pass out the trophies and medals.

Will there be a pizza party when the ceremony is over?

Among the many definitions of service found in Merriam-Webster Unabridged Dictionary are such things as:

• “the serving of a master,”
• “conduct or performance that assists or benefits someone or something,” and
• “the habit or practice of serving God or the acts done with that intention.”

How do these definitions apply to receiving the reward of service?

“The serving of a master.”

I don’t think any of us would question our service is to our Master, Jesus Christ. The New Testament is full of references to serving God and others. Even Jesus said He came to serve (Mark 10:45).

So we can conclude we are called to serve. God has even given us gifts to use in service to others (I Peter 4:10).

“Conduct or performance that assists or benefits someone or something.”

Service is to assist or benefit someone else.

Again, we look to Jesus for our example. Think about His first miracle, turning water into wine (John 2:1-12). Who benefited? The bridegroom who was lauded for saving the best wine for last. It’s important to note Jesus was not credited with the good wine.

“The habit or practice of serving God or the acts done with that intention.”

Should I say this goes without saying? Our service is to God.

Jesus tells us in the Sermon on the Mount to give in secret, to pray in secret, and fast in secret (Matthew 6:4, 6, 18). He tells us those who do so in public receive a reward from those who see them.

Is it too much of a stretch to think Jesus also wants us to serve in secret?

Paul tells servants to serve heartily as to the Lord, “knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward” (Colossians 3:23-24). Paul considered his reward to be the ability to share the gospel (I Corinthians 9:12-18).

Neither of these are what we modern believers have come to think of as rewards.

How then do we develop the reward of serving?

1. Consider our gifts.

If God gave us gifts to serve, we need to consider what those gifts are and how to use them to the benefit of others.

Some gifts, such as teaching, are more visible. Certainly a Sunday School teacher is using a gift that all can see to teach others. If that teacher has the edification of the students foremost that is the reward. Other gifts, like intercession, are quiet, unseen. The pray-er uses the gift for the benefit of others.

2. Go where there is a need.

Serving God and others doesn’t mean volunteering at church.

Caring for children or a loved one, going to work daily to earn a family income, or even picking up trash along a roadside are all silent service. This service certainly isn’t glamourous.

It is, however, a reward.

When a call for volunteers is made, don’t rush to heed the call. Sometimes home-grown activities are our call.

3. Pray.

Well, yes, we should pray before entering into service.

Pray that the reward will be the service itself.

Pray to serve as a God-pleaser, not a man-pleaser (Ephesians 6:5-6).

Pray with me to resolve to earn the rich reward of service.

What will you do receive your reward of service?

Susan K. Stewart—when she’s not tending chickens and donkeys—teaches, writes, and edits non-fiction. Susan’s passion is to inspire readers with practical, real-world solutions. Her books include Science in the Kitchen and Preschool: At What Cost? plus the award-winning Formatting e-Books for Writers. You can learn more at her website www.practicalinspirations.com.

* Steele, Anne. “Self-Consecration.” A Book of Hymns for Public and Private Devotion. (1848).

Graphic adapted, Trophies Photo by Ariel Besagar on Unsplash.