Well Done or Burnt Out?

Kathy Carlton Willis knows a lot about living under pressure. I've followed her and her husband during a difficult year, and she focused on the Lord to keep her faith strong. Kathy also knows a lot about the stress of burn-out, and in this Spiritual Life and Self-care UPGRADE, she shares wise counsel.

"Sometimes I wonder if my efforts will lead to me hearing 'Well Done' or being burnt out," Kathy said. "Let's look at the recipe for finding the balance."

I (Dawn) think this is such a vital topic in our busy, busy world. Several years ago, I almost totally lost my ministry because of a health issue related to burn out. Loving friends did question all I was doing at the time, but I wish someone had pulled me aside and asked tough accountability questions about my priorities and why I was doing what I was doing.

Kathy continues …

In most recipes, the difference between making a crispy creation and a delightful dish is in two variables. Time and temperature. (Just like the old phone service you could call for that information!)

Getting the best out of life for God’s BIG glory without burning out requires those same two variables. Let’s take a look at them.

1. Time

• How long do you spend on the things that require your attention during your waking hours?
• How long do you sleep and rest between periods of busyness?
• Do you have time to add something new to your schedule, or do you need to delete something before you add anything else?

2. Temperature

• How hot does your passion burn for your specific projects?
• How consistent are your efforts before you need to take a break?
• Do you get bored easily with the project?

Oftentimes we evaluate the ingredients of a recipe to determine if it will be a success, when the real issue is to make sure we have the time and temperature set correctly.

It’s wise to ask God to lead in adding to or taking away from your workload. Seek Him to reveal what activities tickle your taste buds. And follow His lead when it’s time to take it easy for a bit.

If it’s been a while since you had a day you could label BLESSED REST,  then you probably need a day like that!

Overdo or overdue?

Are you on the verge of burning out? I realized it was time to slow down and relax when I wrote the following paragraph to my mom:

“I want one day to relax and do what I want, when I want.

I haven’t had one of those in a LONG time. Overdo.

Sort of my Merry Christmas present to myself!”

See the problem? I spelled “overdue,” overdo. And that was the problem.

I was overdoing it—rest was overdue!

We rarely will admit we’re burning out until it’s too late. The toast is already burnt. We’ve pushed the time and temperature too long, too hot. 

And you know what happens when you let the toast burn? It stinks! It stinks when we push ourselves too hard, as well. We’re no good for anyone, at that point.

Let the toaster cool off and add more bread. You rest, then decide what God wants you to add or subtract from your life schedule to fuel your passions and feed your purpose without overdoing it!

Burnt Out?

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. (Galatians 6:9 KJV)

Well Done?

His master said to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful and trustworthy over a little, I will put you in charge of many things; share in the joy of your master.” (Matthew 25:21 AMP) 

When you seek Jesus to be Lord of your life (Master) and are faithful in His instructions, seeking to be effective for the success of the Kingdom and not merely personal success, you will hear Him exclaim about your work, “Well done!”

Where are you headed—to hearing “Well done” or being burnt out?

Kathy Carlton Willis shines for God, reflecting His light as a speaker at writer's conferences and women's retreats, and as an author - contributing to three books and writing hundreds of columns and articles online and in print publications. She wrote Grin with Grace with AMG Publishers and has several books releasing over the next few years. She and her husband Russ live in Texas with Jazzy, their hilarious Boston Terrier.

Summertime

I asked Kathy Carlton Willis to write a summertime post for UPGRADE, and she reminded me of the old song we belt out: “Summertime, and the livin’ is easy.”

“Ever wish you could play hooky from everyday life?” Kathy asks.

Hooky? Yes, I (Dawn) need some hooky time! Responsibilities are great and I'm not a shirker. But there comes a time ...

Kathy continues . . .

Little Johnny tossed a water balloon at Billy. A normal reaction from the teacher would be to reprimand Johnny, but this was not a normal day.

Miss Jones cheered from the sidelines. Billy fell to the ground with laughter. The boys high-fived each other, and the next team lined up to enjoy this fun in the sun.

Outdoor activities commonly end the school year because kids are antsy during regular teaching sessions. Aware of this, teachers plan field trips and outdoor activities. And when they don’t, the students daydream of playing hooky.

Well, school has been out for a while, but I feel like those students.

I also have a bit of wanderlust going on. It is difficult to concentrate. Maybe because vacations are often scheduled for June, July, and August, my daydreamer is programmed to go into overdrive during these months. We long to take the pressure off and just live.

No matter what our plans include, I hope we all plan to keep God in our days. God makes everything seem better. The sky is bluer and the grass is greener.

As we focus on His goodness we have a better perspective on life. And with a keen awareness of His presence, we realize we don’t have to face anything alone.

The Creator of summer creates a sense of freedom in our hearts when we trust in Him.

The best promise of all is that even when we take a break from our everyday humdrum lives, God never takes a break.

“He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps” (Psalm 121:3-4, NLT).

Most of us are not Israelites, but the concept holds true for New Testament Christians as well. Our God is an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent God who is fully capable of being a vital part of His creation without the need of a vacation.

But for me—I hear a nap calling.

How to Make the Most of Summer:

• Refresh and recharge so you’re geared up for fall.
• Spend some time evaluating your 2016 goals, and redirect any that need a new focus.
• Truly rest, in every sense of the word, not merely physical rest.
• If you’ve gotten off track, recommit to your purpose, with a new drive to motivate you on your journey.
• Soak in God’s nature and allow extra time with Him and His creation to rejuvenate you.

A special summertime prayer:

Lord, thank You for the seasons You created for us to enjoy: for the warmth of summer, the fresh smell of flowers and the sun-kissed cheeks of children. I’m blessed to see Your handiwork all around me—You’re never sleeping or taking a break—but always keeping watch over me. Thank You!

What is one thing you look forward to this summer?

Kathy Carlton Willis enjoys fiddling with words as writer's coach and marketing pro at KCW Communications and founded WordGirls for Christian female writers. She’s published in multiple books, magazines and online publications. Kathy gets jazzed inspiring others to have their own lightbulb moments and shines, whether she's spotlighting God's writers and speakers, or reflecting God's light during her speaking events. Kathy wrote Speaker to Speaker: The Essential Speaker’s Companion and Grin with Grace. Discover more about Kathy at her website.

Five Sure-Fire Joy Robbers

Kathy Carlton Willis is teaching me quite a bit about joy, because I've "watched" her choosing joy in some tough circumstances. In this Attitude UPGRADE, she shares some of her secrets!

“One fall season, we had an abundance of pecans in our yard,” Kathy said. “Mom and I picked up enough to share and plenty to keep over winter for baking. Still there were some left over, so we had a huge box of pecans sitting on our front porch.

"Then we noticed that all the pecans disappeared; only the empty box remained.”

Squirrels? Pecans? What's not to love? I (Dawn) am  always eager to hear how Kathy weaves a good story into biblical life application, and she doesn't disappoint here!

Kathy continues . . .

Who would dare come up on our porch and steal our pecans out from under us but not take the box?”

 The answer was right before our very eyes.

Squirrels, of course!

All winter long we noticed they seemed to be eating well, but we didn’t realize we were the ones feeding them.

This is a trivial example of being robbed, but I know people who were robbed of their possessions, and they felt so violated. Sometimes the person who robbed them was someone they knew; other times, complete strangers invaded their personal space and stole their belongings.

No matter the circumstances, being robbed attacks anyone’s sense of security. Being robbed of our joy is no different.

But we have control of our joy, unlike when possessions are taken from us.

When joy is stolen, it isn’t so the other party can possess our joy. No, when they do something that causes us to quit being joyful, it’s not as if they are now wearing our joy! They’re usually as unhappy as we are when they have placed us in a negative situation.

Why is it we allow others to steal our joy? Perhaps it’s not even their motive to see us lose our peace and gladness. But when we allow circumstances to push our buttons, our joy departs.

5 Sure-Fire Joy Robbers:

1. A loss 

2. Being Misunderstood

3. Being Betrayed 

4. Being Rejected

5. Worry & Doubt

The key is to realize no one has access to our joy control switch besides us.

When we feel robbed of joy we must admit—at some level we allowed it to happen.

Our source of joy is not in circumstances or other people, but in the peace of God, which passes all human understanding (Philippians 4:7).

It’s impossible to always be happy.

Bad things happen.

People trash our parade route!

Happiness is based on happenstance or circumstances.

But it’s possible to rejoice with joy that wells up from a God-space deep within us. And when it’s flowing, it naturally bubbles over onto others.

“So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy” (John 16:22 NLT).

Restore us, O Lord, and bring us back to you again! Give us back the joys we once had” (Lamentations 5:21 NLT).

In order to experience the abundance of joy, it’s important to deal with any burdens weighing you down.

Here are three specific steps you can take to prevent those joy-robbers.

1. Don’t be anxious. Instead, vent your worries and frustrations to the Lord. (Philippians 4:6)

2. Deal with situations as they surface—don’t let them accumulate. (Ephesians 4:25–27) Control jealousy and anger in healthy ways. Don’t let others push your buttons. (Proverbs 14:29–30).

3. Don’t let someone else engage you in a guilt trip. You don’t need the frequent flyer miles that go along with that sort of journey! (Romans 8:1)

The next time you feel robbed, evaluate your own attitudes. Are you fully relying on God or are you allowing circumstances to dictate your moods and emotions?

Which of these specific steps can help you prevent with your joy-robbers today?

Kathy Carlton Willis shines for God, reflecting His light as a speaker at writer's conferences and women's retreats, and as an author - contributing to three books and writing hundreds of columns and articles online and in print publications. She wrote Grin with Grace with AMG Publishers and has several books releasing over the next few years. She and her husband/pastor, Russ, live in Texas.

Squrrel Graphic adapted, image courtesy of rhamm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Find Joy in Being Intentional This Year

I first invited author and speaker Kathy Carlton Willis to write for Upgrade when I read about her formula for setting D.R.E.A.M. goals for the New Year. In this New Year's UPGRADE, she shows us another way to move into 2016, by determining to be intentional.

“Do you let life happen to you or do you make life happen?" Kathy says. "If you find your life isn’t changing much from year to year, or that you fall short of your goals, it’s possible you need to adapt a more intentional mindset.

"You can’t just mean well and hope it all turns out okay.”

Kathy had me (Dawn) hooked. I hear that word “intentional” a lot. But what does it really mean to be intentional?

Kathy continues . . .

When we are intentional, we take charge of what we think, choose, say and do. We own it. We don’t blame our circumstances or settle for less because we can’t help our situation.

No matter what challenges God allows in our lives, He also has us here for a purpose. And we can only fulfill that purpose when we operate in His strength and determine not to just float through life.

Living with intention means you are determined. Your decisions are firm and you choose to act on your intentions.

Make sure your intentions aren’t based on self empowerment, but on a determination to be so plugged in to God that you’re ready to follow where He leads and to act on His purpose for your life.

When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father. “I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!” (John 15:8-11 NLT)

You may think it sounds depressing to live with intention, but according to John 15:11, acting on God’s direction leads to being filled with so much joy it will overflow.

One joy-filled way I remind myself to stay intentional is to sing Christian hymns and songs that reflect my determination to follow God’s directions. Being focused on this intention helps me live wholly for Him. What song comes to your mind?

Here are a few that popped into my head:

• I Have Decided to Follow Jesus
• I am Resolved No Longer to Linger
• I Am Determined

Intentional means you don't wait for things to happen; you make choices to help determine the outcome.

Life becomes “on purpose” instead of “by accident.” Not “I hope to” or “I’m going to try,” but “I will!”

I will be more intentional with my:

1. Time
2. Relationships
3. Goals
4. Walk with Christ
5. Priorities
6. Words
7. Prayers

Here’s one word of caution when making plans: Make sure they are God’s plans for your life.

It’s not enough to merely ask God to bless your plans. It’s all about following Him, whether it means staying still when you want to move forward, or moving forward when you’d rather stay still.

Keep in mind this principle when it comes to intentional living:

How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” (James 4:14-15 NLT)

How will you determine to be more intentional this year?

Kathy Carlton Willis shines for God, reflecting His light as a speaker at writer's conferences and women's retreats, and as an author - contributing to three books and writing hundreds of columns and articles online and in print publications. She wrote Grin with Grace with AMG Publishers and has several books releasing over the next few years. She and her husband/pastor, Russ, live in Texas.

Graphic adapted, image courtesy of pixabay.com.

Christmas Joy—After the Wrapping Paper is Discarded

We sing “Joy to the World” this time of year, but in this Christmas UPGRADE, Kathy Carlton Willis reminds us it’s more than a holiday sentiment.

“You won't find joy gift-wrapped and under the Christmas tree, but it is a gift indeed,” says Kathy.“Without the birth of Christ which we celebrate at Christmas, there would be no authentic joy.”

I (Dawn) can remember Christmases when there was more joy than there were Christmas gifts, so I can see where Kathy is going in calling joy a Christmas gift. It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

Kathy continues . . .

There might be temporary bursts of happiness at Christmastime, controlled by surrounding circumstances, but there would be no true joy without Christ’s birth.

Joy can only come from the One who guarantees salvation, because with that, there is eternal peace of mind.

When Christ becomes real in our lives, we begin to pick up His mannerisms, and if Christ was anything, He was joyful.

It is one of those character traits I’m most thankful for receiving. The Holy Spirit living in me whispers joy to my heart and my mind when the outside world seems to be yelling negativity to me.

In times of crisis and conflict, joy produces a calm that cannot be explained. It allows a person to be more than just content, but actually excited about living life out loud. Joy gives its recipient an assurance that any unpleasant circumstance is only a temporary inconvenience that can be overcome victoriously.

A Christmas carol we sing says, “Joy to the world, the Lord is come!” That song speaks truth.

Joy came to the world in the form of the baby Jesus. Anything before that time was just an anticipation of the Christ Child’s appearance.

We who live after His birth get the full picture—the gift of grace and mercy—rather than having to offer our own sin sacrifices like God’s people did in the Old Testament. Christ’s life and death give us the completion of God’s gift to us, His beloved.

How can we not be joyful, when we consider this?

“These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full” (John 15:11 KJV).

You’ll still have joy after the wrapping paper is discarded when you focus on the best gift of all.

Are you overwhelmed with parties, guest lists, gift wrapping, and tinsel this season? Or are you overcome with joy?

Kathy Carlton Willis shines for God, reflecting His light as a speaker at writer's conferences andwomen's retreats, and as an author - contributing to three books and writing hundreds of columns and articles online and in print publications. She has several books releasing over the next three years, includingGrin with Grace with AMG Publishers at the end of this year. She and her husband/pastor, Russ, live in Texas.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.