The Secret to Doing Hard Things

Kathy Carlton Willis is amazing. I've watched her go through a series of tough circumstances over the last few years, and she always manages to choose biblical responses as she teaches others how to deal with struggles as "God's Grin Gal." In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she shares her secret for doing hard things.

“I’m usually self-sufficient but lately I’ve realized more than ever that I’m not Wonder Woman,” Kathy says. “The demands of life not only highlight my weaknesses, but spotlight God’s strength.

Now I (Dawn) just shared how amazing Kathy is, but if you read her opening statement, you'll realize how humble she is before the Lord, always trusting His sovereign purposes. 

Kathy continues . . .

Everyone’s been talking about what a hard year 2020 has been. My personal worst day of an already bad year happened the day before Hurricane Delta hit our area.

My family sold our forever home to move to an area where my husband’s job landed him, and we dealt with many unknowns at once—more like didn’t deal with them.

The day finally came to load the last POD with belongings and hit the road.

Sometimes you gain life lessons through the worst experiences!

Here’s what I learned.

Don’t believe what they say a POD storage unit holds. 

We packed to the ceiling, but still had items that wouldn’t fit. So we had to leave behind multiple pieces of furniture. This day was a day of many mini goodbyes.

Packing and loading a POD with your mate will show you how well you work together and love each other. 

Russ and I passed that test!

I also learned I’m still strong physically and on the inside. Grateful for that strength to come through when I needed it.

One time when we flipped a heavy desk upside down to stack it on top of the washer and dryer, I turned to Russ and said, “We did this. We did this. We did this!

Sometimes you have to celebrate the immediate accomplishment before the entire goal is even completed.

Moving the day before a hurricane hits is not wise. 

Loading a POD while it’s lightly raining wasn’t great. But driving in a three-car caravan through almost zero-visibility on highways packed with merciless aggressive drivers evacuating the area is a nightmare.

My husband drove lead and went faster than we were comfortable following. He made a couple of turns not in the plans.

Mom drove in the middle and had a hard time seeing or keeping up with Russ. I was the caboose and my main job was to keep an eye on Mom and go where she went, even when she lost the lead car.

This meant pulling over three times for regrouping and calling Russ to reconnect. The phone map app in remote locations wasn’t reliable.

We truly got to the destination as a grace of God—I’m sure of it.

God can be trusted. 

When we were just two minutes down the road, physically exhausted from loading the POD, emotionally exhausted from saying goodbye to my forever home, and mentally exhausted from dealing with multiple challenges in addition to the weather, I whined to God.

I can’t do this.

God said, “Can you trust Me?”

Yes, Lord.

He said, “Don’t focus on what you can’t do, focus on trusting Me, and I’ll take care of the rest. I’ll get you there.”

Okay Lord.

For the 2.5 hour trip, I prayed . . . and prayed. 

You can do hard things. 

After enduring the above issues and getting to the destination, we had three vehicles to unload in the pouring down rain, making about twenty trips into our temporary dwelling place.

I was perfectly willing to get soaking wet and exert more physical energy and lifting compared to driving in those awful conditions.

Perspective can help you deal with yucky stuff by remembering something far worse.

Storms are called storms for a reason. 

The physical storm of Hurricane Delta was horrendous. Way worse than predicted. And going through it in a strange place was difficult.

We had three worn out frustrated people who craved space, all situated in tight quarters. Not ideal.

But we were safe. Safe in the storm.

 How to Do Hard Things

1. Trust God.

Without trusting Him, we’re actually trusting in ourselves. And sadly, we don’t have what it takes apart from God to get it done.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take (Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT).

2. Do the first thing.

Don’t try to tackle it all. Just do the step immediately in front of you. God will show you what it is.

The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving (Psalm 28:7 NLT).

3. Keep going when it’s hard.

It might not get easier until it is OVER.

“The Lord says, ‘I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name’ (Psalm 91:14 NLT).

4. Celebrate when to-do becomes ta-done.

In our eagerness to be productive, we often forget this step before moving on to the next thing.

This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24 NLT).

Your choices in hard times can spotlight the Lord’s strength and faithfulness.

What hard thing does God want you to do this week?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Look for 7 Trials Every Woman Faces, coming soon. Kathy is active as a book industry pro, and her coaching group, WordGirls, propels women toward their writing goals. She graduated with honors from Bible College and has served 30+ years in full-time ministry. Check out her Grin & Grow Break video devotions on social media. www.kathycarltonwillis.com

Graphic of PODS Storage Unit at Mobile Attic.

Graphic adapted of Hurricane Delta, courtesy of Wikipedia.

Press On in Joy

Kathy Carlton Willis is no stranger to difficult circumstances, but she emerges from them with joy. In this Spiritual Life and Joy UPGRADE, she calls us to press past the voices of circumstances or our own destructive self-talk and listen to another Voice—someone who can help us press on in joy.

“As I write this, I’m in the middle of the national pandemic lockdown,” Kathy says. “You’re reading it on the last day of the lockdown.

"I wish I had a crystal ball to write what our May looks like. We just don’t know.”

I (Dawn) don’t have a crystal ball either. All I know is we’re in this together. Kathy gives us words of encouragement as we press on.

Kathy continues . . .

It’s possible the lockdown will continue. During this time of uncertainty, what a blessing to cling to what we do know.

As Christ followers, we know:

whatever comes our way, we can grin with joy, knowing it does get better than this.

I can sit here and focus on my troubles:

• My husband lost his job due to cutbacks in the middle of January. It was hard enough finding employment at age 58 in the good times, but now there is much more joblessness.
• My health could be better. My chronics are flaring.
• The stay-at-home order has everyone a bit stir crazy. Some are bored. I’m just busy, scrambling to change everything that took over a year to plan that has cancelled. Now I have days instead of months to activate a new plan.
• I’m a caregiver to my mom. Even though she is very independent, it adds to my load having her living with us. Why? Because I give a care.

Rather than focus on my troubles, I will sit here and fix my gaze on Jesus, the author and sustainer of my joy.

For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!

So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever (2 Corinthians 4:17–18 NLT).

On my Facebook page, I asked about how to have joy despite brokenness. I asked people to describe their brokenness.

One person wrote:

“Top of the list is pain. I have no hope for the future with what I'm going through. It will never get better. Just getting worse. I want my life back but that will never happen. Depressing. I try to stay positive every day, but sometimes it’s just very hard when all you do is cry. I’m in so much pain and meds do not help. I can't stop. I have responsibility to help my family.”

I responded:

"I'm sorry to hear that. When we get depressing news and live with discouraging conditions, it can be overwhelming! I couldn't possibly know the depth of what you are going through, but I do have several chronic diseases that are debilitating and progressive.

"The main reason I can still have joy isn't because I have hope that I'll get better in this life (unless there’s a miracle!). But I know in heaven I'll get rid of pain once and for all. And there will be no more tears. My hope in God gets me through some awful stuff.

"Also, I focus on what I CAN find joy in. I tell myself that my body doesn't get to dictate my perspective on how I feel. It's only one third of who I am. My spirit and soul are two thirds of who I am, so they get the majority vote. That really helps me adjust my feelings on days I'm suffering.

"I hope that encourages you a little. It stinks, what you are going through. And I'm so sorry it's happening."

We all are going through something, especially these days.

What can we do to find joy in the middle of all this?

1.  Switch focus.

Instead of looking at the problems, look to the Problem-Solver.

I will fix my gaze on Jesus!

2. Praise in advance of the breakthrough.

Worship God not because He will fix the circumstances, but because He is God.

3. Seek to serve.

When we put our attention and energy in helping others, our problems pale in comparison. And we realize even when we feel stuck, there is still something we can do to help.

One example: I’ve been leaving sound bites on Facebook Messenger to friends.

In these voice messages, I pray for them.

Encourage them.

Tell them I love them.

There’s something about hearing another person’s voice that helps us all know we’re not in this alone.

And the greatest voice of all to hear is the voice of God, through His Word and his Spirit.

What voice are you listening to today?

Kathy Carlton Willis, God’s Grin Gal, writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith, whimsy and wisdom. She coaches others to remove the training wheels of fear and not just risk, but also take pleasure in the joy ride of life. She is known for her debut book, Grin with Grace, and for her grinning Boston terrier, Hettie. Her new book, The Grin Gal’s Guide to Joy is inspiring Joy Sightings everywhere. Discover more about Kathy at www.kathycarltonwillis.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Brightside Creative at Lightstock.

Worryectomy

Kathy Carlton Willis knows how to turn the everyday circumstances of life—even crisis situations—into  opportunities to trust God. In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she deals with the bothersome problem of worry; and it's a perfect topic for today as we think back to a crisis in America that changed so many lives: America's 9/11.

“On this day we reflect back to September 11, 2001, our country continues to experience many different types of unrest," Kathy says. "In addition, we daily fight fears of doubt and worry regarding our personal lives. To live a life of peace and joy, we need to undergo a worryectomy from time to time.”

I (Dawn) grew up with a "worrier," and I "caught" the disease of worry. I know what Kathy says is true!

Kathy continues . . .  

When I was 19, newly married, this smalltown girl had to adjust to my college town. Springfield, Missouri, was the third largest city in Missouri.

Besides taking 20 credit hours of school and being involved in youth ministry, I also worked part-time. I used $500 from a scholarship to buy a 1969 Chevy pick-up truck. I looked like Farmer Jane!

During the Christmas season, my job at Walmart involved later hours, plus we’d have to stay lafter the store closed to restock all the things that got unshelved (like the entire toy department). The drive home took me through the worst area of town.

I didn’t even know enough to be worried, but Mom worried for me.

One day my husband decided to show me how to change a tire on that big ol’ truck—in case I ever had an emergency. But what he didn’t do was wrench all the lug nuts tight once he showed me the process.

Somehow, I made it the twenty minutes to the store. Worked my shift. We got out late. Midnightish. I drove part-way home, when all of a sudden, in the bad part of town, the whole tire, wheel and all, shot off my truck!

My tall truck screeched to a halt because the hub severed the brake line. Like taking one leg off of a four-legged chair, my truck leaned to the short side. What happened?

I jumped out of the truck quickly, not thinking. I started to walk to call for help and realized—without any money, how could I use a payphone?

I prayed, and felt God lead me back to the truck.

I had peace that somehow God was going to take care of me.

Next thing I knew, a security car from that area, pulled up in front of me and offered to help. He radioed for the command station to call Russ and have him come to the scene. A tow-truck also came.

Next thing we knew, a young man on a bicycle rolled up my wheel. He found it two blocks away and said it shot out like it was in a race!

When it was all over, I thought back on the situation.

Here I was, in a bad area of town, at a bad time of night. This naïve small-town girl had no money, stuck, no phone, and God took care of me.

I was never out of His care—out of His grasp.

It was a wonderful lesson to me that when you are in God’s will, He takes care of any of the risks involved. I was just as safe and secure there as I was sitting in a church pew.

When I told Mom what happened, she admitted her worries. Relieved at the outcome, she could finally exhale.

When those worries practically strangle us, we need to perform a WORRYECTOMY.

One way to do this is to create reminder cards to read through when worry hits. Have them say things like:

• My God is bigger than my fear.
• My God is bigger than this.
• Nothing is impossible with God, not even this.
• I'm never alone. God is with me always.
• This circumstance isn't taking God by surprise.
• God cares when I hurt.
• What matters to me, matters to God.
• This is temporary!

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?” (Matthew 6:25 NLT)

Repeating biblical concepts really helps you fight the torment of worry.

God is the Master at using hope of the future to reshape our present and overcome our past!

Through Christ, you have control over panic and fear.

Worry doesn’t have to overcome and overwhelm you unless you allow it. Don't give worry permission to mess with you!

Is it time for a worryectomy?

Kathy Carlton Willis, God's Grin Gal, shines the light on what holds you back so you can grow. She’s a speaker and author with over a thousand articles online and in print, as well as her Bible study, Grin with Grace. Her popular blog, Grin & Grow with Kathy is featured on CBN. She and her husband Russ live in Beaumont, TX where they just recognized the one-year anniversary of Hurricane Harvey.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Alexas-Fotos at Pixabay.

Three Keys that Unlock Breakthroughs

Kathy Carlton Willis has experienced more in a few years than many people experience in a lifetime, and in this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she tells us how she’s experienced some personal breakthroughs this year. And we can too!

Kathy admits, “For the last few years I’ve been circling a holding pattern waiting for a landing strip.”

Kathy has personally coached me (Dawn), and she certainly shines the light on issues that hold us back. Her insights on what to do when we feel stumped are sometimes uncomfortable, but always on point.

Kathy continues . . .  

What I felt like God wanted for my life wasn’t materializing, and it seemed like others were living the dream I thought God had for me. What was I doing wrong?

The more I tried to fix things, the bigger mess I made. But now as I look back, it wasn’t a mess. It was a process.

This year my dreams are starting to materialize. Now I’m in a position to look back and identify the keys that unlocked my breakthrough.

As I study Scripture, I see a similar process for others who had a wilderness before a Promised Land, so I think I’m on to something.

There’s just one problem. This process includes THREE KEYS we all try to avoid. Now I’m seeing they are necessary parts of our journey.

Key #1—WAITING

I would prefer instant answers, but sometimes it takes time for everything to come together. It takes time for God to mature me into the person He needs me to be to fulfill the purpose He has for me.

No fine design before its time.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs 13:12 NLT).

The Message paraphrases it,

“Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around."

Life thrives like a tree when dreams come true. When we give up too soon, we miss out.

Key #2—SUFFERING

Did I have to include suffering as a key to unlocking breakthroughs? Why couldn’t I pick a more enjoyable process? Maybe involving chocolate!

But no—suffering is necessary. It is what prepares us for the desired end goal.

I remind myself when I go through trials (like illness, extreme weather, rejection) that it will be worth it all when I see Jesus bring about His best outcome for my situation.

“In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation" (1 Peter 5:10 NLT).

Key #3—OBEYING

Okay, now I’ve just gone to meddling. Obey? Me? But I am woman, hear me roar!

I resist the word obey. I wanted to put the word trust in its place.

Same idea, but a more positive spin on the concept. Yet God nudged me to keep the word obey. Why? Because part of the process toward breakthrough is realizing I can’t go it alone, and it’s not about what I want, it’s about what God wants.

I show God I can trust Him with the outcome, when I also trust Him with the process.

Even when it seems the next step doesn’t propel me toward the goal. In fact, sometimes His direction goes in a completely different trajectory.

For example, a few months ago, God led me to invite Mom to come live with us. This took a big step of obedience.

Each day are little steps of obedience as I choose to care for her needs rather than advance my own goals. But I know God is in it because every day we have new reasons to grin together.

Psalm 28:7 says, “The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.” (Read Psalm 112 for additional inspiration.)

I mentioned at the beginning of the article that God is starting to bring about the desires of my heart.

• After a dry period of feeling like we couldn’t find a place of service at our new church, we were invited to lead a new small group in our home.
• A regional ministry invited me to speak for a women’s event.
• All of a sudden I’m starting to meet new friends, after a year of aloneness.
• The largest Christian writers conference invited me to be a primary faculty member.

Breakthrough!

Are you looking for a breakthrough? How do these three keys influence your attitudes and decisions?

Kathy Carlton Willis, God's Grin Gal, shines the light on what holds you back so you can grow. She’s a speaker and author with over a thousand articles online and in print, as well as her Bible study, Grin with Grace. Her popular blog, Grin & Grow with Kathy is featured on CBN. She and her husband Russ live in Texas with Jazzy, their hilarious Boston Terrier.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of LoggaWiggler at Pixabay.

A New Kind of Survival

I’ve followed survivor Kathy Carlton Willis in the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey. In this special UPLIFT, she shares some insights inspired by Harvey.

Kathy is always finding a way to grin through stinky days. One of her Facebook posts said, “Harvey Schmarvey! Harvey is like the unwanted house guest who doesn’t know when to leave.”

Kathy's example encouraged me (Dawn) in my own recent "storm," and I pray her words will help you too.

Kathy continues . . .

One thing that popped up during Harvey was the use of unintentional puns. It’s as if God wanted to help me keep generating grins despite the devastation surrounding me.

Here are a few of them:

• I forgot to get vaccinated for cabin fever.
• This whole area feels a bit like cornflakes sitting in milk too long—soggy.
• I’m flooded by emails and calls from concerned friends.
• I’m blown away by how people are helping people.
• The water to all of Beaumont has been shut off. (Sure, we didn’t want more water, but we meant rain!)
• I can’t believe the Internet router went out just four hours after our electricity came back on. What? Wasn’t ten days enough time without technology? When it rains, it pours!
• Russ saw a 4-foot alligator on the road. I wonder if Russ said, “See you later, alligator!”
• We’ll be playing catch up once the power is back on. We’ll keep calm and power on!

And a serious one:

• “The sun is coming tomorrow. The Son is here today.”

No Light in Sight

The electricity failed for ten days. Having no air conditioning or fan during the hottest part of Texas summer was most miserable.

It was pitch black without the light. I kept flipping the light switch on, even though I knew the power was out. Darkness is never so dark as when there’s not a spot of light. As I pondered about God in the darkness, I centered my mind’s eye on His light, and a sense of His presence gave me great peace.

Because of God’s tender mercy, the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, and to guide us to the path of peace. (Luke 1:78-79 NLT)

Grateful for Simple Luxuries

It looked like a war zone all around us, with the army tanks and helicopters. Lines at what few stores opened had a two- to three-hour wait time, with guards at the entrance.

We found a battery-powered fan housed in a dented box at the store. It was the only fan on the shelf. Others assumed it was defective. We inspected it, and decided it was functional. Did God crunch the box so I could have some air movement in my steamy home?

My first hot meal was a McDonald’s breakfast biscuit. I never thought I’d be happy for McD’s, but I prayed the most appreciative meal blessing I’d prayed in a while!

Washing my hands with soap and warm water felt like such a luxury.

Finding a loaf of bread seemed like a small miracle.

Weather the Storm

The only way to weather a storm is to plan ahead for it, do all you can, and then rest in God’s presence as you wait out the worst of it.

And then, as soon as relief is in sight, ask God to show you how He wants to use the trial* for:

1. His glory
2. The good of others
3. Your own personal and spiritual growth

What do you need to do today to be ready for the storm that might hit tomorrow?

* NOTE: Kathy wrote Four Ways to Get through the Storm earlier this year. She practiced her own tips during Hurricane Harvey. Kathy is coordinating an encouragement project to deliver donated gift cards and homemade baked goods to a neighborhood hardest hit by Harvey.

The rest of the story? She was supposed to close on a home in that very neighborhood on September 19^th. The home was flooded with 5-7 feet of water and the contract was voided. She says she discovered home isn’t a WHERE, it’s a WHO.

Please continue to pray for Kathy and others you know who have "weathered" a tough storm in recent days. Pray they will not only "survive," but thrive in the Father's care.

Kathy Carlton Willis, God's Grin Gal, shines the light on what holds you back so you can grow. She’s a speaker and author with over a thousand articles online and in print, as well as her Bible study, Grin with Grace. She’s a bi-monthly columnist with CBN and a devotional writer for Todd Starnes. She and her husband Russ live in Texas with Jazzy, their hilarious Boston Terrier.

The photo in the graphic, above, was Kathy's photo of the first sunshine that broke through after Harvey.