When We Feel Like Jesus Doesn't Care . .

Kathy Collard Miller makes hard truths understandable and simple truths powerfully motivating. In this Faith UPGRADE, she reminds us that God is working in and for us in our most difficult storms of life because He deeply cares about us.

"We’ve all experienced times when our circumstances seem to indicate Jesus doesn’t really care," Kathy says, "We may feel overwhelmed, or our prayers aren’t being answered as we would like."

Yes, I (Dawn) have experienced that feeling many times. Once, I remember asking, "Lord, where are you? Do you see me?"

Of course, I knew He was present and He saw me. Years of trusting Him taught me that. But feelings in that moment threatened to rule over my faith. I'm glad Kathy is addressing this important issue.

Kathy continues . . .

A story in the Bible, in Mark 4:35-41, exactly addresses our heart’s longing to be cared about.

In this passage, Jesus and the disciples are in a boat crossing the Sea of Galilee, and the storm is so extreme the disciples fear they will die.

God Cares about You in Your Struggle

1. Everyone, even the disciples, questioned whether Jesus cared about them.

You are not alone.

They ask, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” Why do they ask? Because Jesus is asleep on a cushion.

I’d say that’s really uncaring and inattentive.  

The fact that these hardened fishermen are expressing feelings like wanting to be cared about is incredible and fascinating. Most men hide their feelings, but here they express their deepest longings:

Please! Someone! Care that we are going to die!

2. Our storms feel overwhelming when there’s no instant solution.

I can surely understand the disciples’ terror. They may have even thought nothing bad would happen to them because they are with Jesus.

But there truly was a reason for fear. Even though most of them were seasoned fishermen, this storm was obviously way beyond their comfort zone. They knew fishermen who had perished in storms like this.

The Sea of Galilee was famous for sudden windstorms. The boat was not just taking on water—it was “swamped.”

As they looked around for help, what did they see? Jesus asleep on a cushion. The man who should have been the first to take care of them was completely oblivious to their need and fear.

We, like them, can see the dangers of the storm hitting us, and it seems like Jesus is oblivious.

He isn’t answering our cries for help—the way we want Him to.

3. We interpret the 'silence' as 'Jesus doesn’t care.'

When the disciples can’t stand it anymore, they “woke him” (vs. 38).

• Did they jostle him? The boat was already being jostled.
• Did they call to him? The sounds of the wind were already screaming.
• Did they grab him and shake him? That’s what I would have done. Out of terror and feeling abandoned.

We can be tempted to express our terror and abandonment through emotional outbursts because we’re afraid we’ll hear, “No, I don’t care because you don’t deserve it” or some other lie.

I’ve been guilty of getting angry at my husband Larry, and only later realizing my heart was crying out, “Show me you love me! Maybe my anger, distress, or craziness will get your attention.”

I think we can have the same reaction to Jesus which expresses itself through doubt, distrust, and ungodly reactions.

4. Even when it seems Jesus doesn’t care, remember who He is.

After Jesus calms the storm and the danger is past, the disciples are filled with wonder and awe. They rightly ask, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!” (Mark 4:41-42).

If they had asked each other at the beginning—“But remember what He’s already done for us?”—they might not have wondered if Jesus cared about them.

That’s most likely exactly why a story like the Sea of Galilee storm is included in the Gospel account.

I wonder how many times the disciples—who became the Apostles—said things like, “Remember that time Jesus was sleeping, but He woke up and immediately calmed the storm? We had to wait but He came through. He’s going to do the same thing for this challenge.”

We can do the same thing.

• We can reflect on his nature of omniscience: “This is no surprise to Jesus. He knows everything.”
• We can reflect on His nature of perfect love: “Even though He seems to be asleep on a cushion, He hasn’t stopped loving us or caring for us.”
• We can reflect on His power: “This storm is no problem for Him.”
• We can reflect on His wisdom: “We can trust whatever reason He is allowing this. He will solve it at the right time.”

Remembering the truth brings glory to God.

5. Jesus is compassionate even as He invites the disciples to have more faith.

When have you wondered if Jesus cares? The good news is He didn’t give up on the disciples even as He gently called for greater faith.

I wish I could have seen the expression on His face. I think it’s not one of frustration but compassion. And since He knows the future, He knows He will continue to strengthen their faith until they become powerful witnesses for the Kingdom.

Can you hear Him say to you, “Child, I do care! Trust me. I know exactly what I’m doing and it’s for your good and my glory”?

The next time it seems Jesus doesn’t care, what will you remember He already done and how it revealed His nature?

Kathy Collard Miller loves to help women trust God more through her 59 books and speaking in 35 states and 9 foreign countries. She is a wife, mother, grandmother living in Boise, Idaho, with her husband, Larry of 52 years. Her website/blog is www.KathyCollardMiller.com. Kathy’s newest book is a women’s Bible study on courage: Heart of Courage: Daughter of the King Bible Study Series. This post is adapted from Pure-Hearted: The Blessings of Living Out God’s Glory.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Dimitris Vetsikas at Pixabay.

Who Me? Delegate? Too Scary!

I've learned so much from Kathy Collard Miller. Her perspective is both biblical and practical. In this Relationships UPGRADE, she asks us to consider whether we delegate easily or not—and if not, why not?

"For some of us, delegating brings feelings of a loss of control and our reputation being at risk," Kathy says. "Yet, Jesus delegated. Why can’t we?"

I (Dawn) used to be terrible at delegating, and for a prideful reason. I simply thought I could handle things better than others. Did I ever have a lot to learn!

But there are other reasons people don't delegate.

Kathy continues . . .

There have been many times when delegating responsibility would have relieved me of stress and even grown my trust in God, but I resisted. Over years, I’ve learned that when God directs me to delegate and I obey, I’m actually being more like Jesus.

Let’s look first at what causes our fear of delegating.

1. My reputation will be damaged.

Delegating can seem dangerous, because I think the person I put in charge is a reflection of me. If I chose her and she dropped the ball, won’t that say something about me?

About my worth and value?

About my wisdom?

It doesn’t have to.

My reputation is protected by God. If someone makes a wrong conclusion about me, God can make sure her ideas are corrected with the truth.

And even if my “delegate” does something wrong, I didn’t force her to make that choice. She isn’t a reflection of me.

2. Someone may not perform as perfectly as I would.

This fear points to my perfectionistic expectations.

I’m expecting someone else to be perfect when I’m not perfect!

I should focus on God’s view of my worth and value in Christ (Ephesians 1:3-23), not the actions of another.

Proverbs 19:19 tells us,

“A man of great wrath will pay the penalty, for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again.”

If our assigned person reacted in an inappropriate way, our job is to come alongside and inspire, but not rescue from the consequences because we are afraid.

We also shouldn’t tell ourselves, “I’m never going to delegate again.”

3. God will be displeased.

Actually, God is more interested in our challenges giving us opportunities for growing closer to Him.

If I’m afraid to delegate because I think a less-than-perfect outcome will displease Him, my view of Him is a surprised God who is clueless and unprepared.

Of course, we must follow His guidance in who we choose, but nothing that occurs is a shock to Him. He already knows how He will fulfill His will.

God is not wringing His hands.

Maybe He even wanted things to be different than we planned, because He knows the needs of the people who are impacted.

Some of those ideas seem totally different than our usual assumptions. Yet, consider instead these actions and reactions of Jesus so that we can be set free to risk delegating.

How Jesus Modeled Delegating

1. Instead of requiring perfection, Jesus wanted Martha to stop serving and learn from him instead.

He was aware and concerned about her distress (Luke 10:38-42). He could have created instantly a seven course meal for everyone. Instead He urged her to put aside her unrealistic expectations.

After all, she most likely had servants and could have delegated what needed to be done.

2. Jesus was never concerned about his reputation.

He “lowered Himself” to interact with the “least of these.”

It didn’t matter what other people said or thought about Him. His confidence was in who His Father said He was, not the comments of others.

Over and over again, He gave assignments to His disciples and was never upset with the conclusions of others about successes or failures.

3. Jesus rejoiced not so much in the result but in the heart.

At one point, he sent out 72 followers to tell others about Him.

When they returned, thrilled with the results, Jesus said to them,

“I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you. Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven” (Luke 10:18-20 ESV).

Even though He acknowledged the damage to Satan’s kingdom, Jesus urged them to not put their joy on the results, but on their future eternal life.

Their hearts—their spirituality—were more important than what they accomplished.  

4. Jesus allowed for someone to fail in order to grow.

When we don’t want to delegate, sometimes it’s because we don’t want someone to struggle.

Yet, Jesus knew Peter would deny Him and He didn’t prevent it. He knew Peter would become more powerful in the Kingdom in the future through his repentance after the failure.

It really is possible to have confidence in allowing God to work through others!

The next time God leads you to delegate, what truths will help you obey?

Kathy Collard Miller loves to help women trust God more through her 58 books and speaking in 35 states and 9 foreign countries. Her website/blog is www.KathyCollardMiller.com. Kathy’s newest book, co-written with her husband, Larry, is God’s Intriguing Questions: 60 New Testament Devotions Revealing Jesus’s Nature. Check out Kathy’s Amazon author page at: https://www.amazon.com/Kathy-Collard-Miller/e/B001KMI10S/.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Gerd Altmann at Pixabay.

Developing Spiritual Taste Buds

Kathy Collard Miller wants women to understand how the truth of scripture can transform their lives. In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she suggests ways we can learn to crave God's Word.

"If we had been told a year ago we would have unlimited time in seclusion at home," Kathy says, "I wonder how many of us would have thought, 'Then I’ll be able to to spend more time reading my Bible and praying'?"

I (Dawn) know I didn't think that way at first. But God spoke to my heart, and He created hunger for His Word and ways. I later wondered, "Why didn't I immediately think of opportunities for spiritual growth during the lockdown?"

Kathy continues . . .  

I would have been one of those, but my time with God hasn’t increased.

As much as we think choosing a spiritual devotional time is dependent upon available time, it’s primarily not. It’s that our spiritual taste buds are being dulled and satisfied by other kinds of “food.”

And for whatever reasons, they seem more satisfying and/or easier.

How can we enliven our taste buds?

Here are three empty spiritual practices PREVENTING our spiritual hunger.

1. Technology.

We won’t be surprised about this one. It’s just so easy, and it’s called “vegging” for a reason. But we aren’t receiving the nutrients of spiritual vegetables. Sometimes going cold turkey can be helpful—we’ll find out we won’t die.

My husband, Larry, tells how God challenged him to drive without listening to the radio for a month. That seemed like an easy assignment until he missed it. He realized he had been drowning out God's voice.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with listening to the radio, but for Larry, the radio had become a kind of empty source replacing a time of communicating with the Lord.

During his “fast” from radio, he found a rich time of seeking God as Psalm 119:37 says:

Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways. (ESV)

2. Relationships.

Do people dull our spiritual taste buds?

• Instead of seeking the Lord directly for guidance and direction, do we rush around asking for everyone else's opinions?
• Instead of seeking the Lord to define who we are, do the opinions of others define us?
  

Years ago, while caring for my mother-in-law in our home, the Lord began revealing how my mother-in-law’s opinions of me replaced God’s unconditional love for me. Because of the kind of dementia she had, her paranoia caused her to accuse me of trying to kill her with the “rocks” I put in her oatmeal.

I felt angry and misunderstood.

Thankfully, over the two-and-a-half years she lived with us, I understood more about God’s knowledge of my service. Also, my sinful demand she see me in a good light.

My spiritual taste buds became enlivened to depend upon His view of me as His Beloved. I saw the truth of Psalm 119:39:

Turn away the reproach that I dread,  for your rules are good.

3. Self-protection.

When Hannah's marriage was difficult, her escape plan nourished her soul, not God.

She explained, “I envisioned an open door labeled 'divorce.' I told myself, 'I'll stay in the marriage until the children are gone and then I'll divorce him. I can hold on until then, but I won't give him my heart.'

“Then one day the Lord told me, 'You're sinning. Close the door and lock it.' I couldn't do it. It was my way to survive.

"He gently continued to convict me and finally I surrendered. I mentally closed and locked the door. I began to offer my heart to my husband.

"The kids are long grown and my husband and I still struggle, but I know God has purified me as I've turned to His spiritual nourishment—not self-protection.”

Hannah turned from her own reasoning as Psalm 119:24 tells us,

Your testimonies are my delight; they are my counselors.

Here are three ideas for TANTALIZING your spiritual taste buds to hunger for God.

1. Think small growth.

An “all or nothing” attitude only discourages.

What ONE thing in ONE area does God want you to work on?

2. Notice the tiniest differences of those little choices.

Are you even a little more loving? Kind? Self-controlled? Patient?

Paying attention to God’s work will activate the spiritual taste buds.

3. Claim God’s promises.

He wants communion with you.

You’ll notice I used verses from Psalm 119, because that powerful Psalm describes numerous rewards of seeing how God promises to meet our needs with nourishing spiritual food, not empty calories.

It really is possible to be wake up your spiritual taste buds!

What small change will you make to invest in your spiritual hunger?

Kathy Collard Miller loves to help women trust God more through her 58 books and speaking in 35 states and 9 foreign countries. Her website/blog is www.KathyCollardMiller.com. Kathy’s newest book, co-written with her husband, Larry, is God’s Intriguing Questions: 60 New Testament Devotions Revealing Jesus’s Nature. Check out Kathy’s Amazon author page.

Graphic courtesy of Engin Akyurt at Pixabay.

God Is the Expert Question Asker

Kathy Collard Miller's passion is to help Christians trust God more and help others know how much He loves them. In this Relationship with God UPGRADE, she invites us to explore God's intriguing questions.

Kathy asks: "Do you sometimes wonder if you’ll ever figure out God? Just look at His questions for help."

This past week, I (Dawn) read with sadness about  a Christian leader who says he no longer believes in God. He says there are too many questions about God that are unanswered. But Kathy has an interesting perspective: What about God's questions?

Kathy continues . . .

Some time ago I began to notice how many questions God asked in the Bible—in fact, more than 300 of them! The more I noticed, the more I saw how His questions revealed who He is.

He is working in our lives—motivated by love, care, and goodness.

During this horrible time, we’d love to know the “why”s of what God is doing or allowing. Some clues might be in the questions He asked.

(1) God asked Adam and Eve, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:9).

They felt ashamed, yet God pursued them, calling out to them. He didn’t shame them or even get angry at them. He calmly inquired with the purpose of helping them see their distrust of Him and their need of a Savior (Genesis 3:15).

The First Couple thought He wanted to destroy them, but He actually wanted to restore fellowship with them.

God spotlighted His forgiving and kind nature.

(2) God asked Joshua, “Have I not commanded you?” (Joshua 1:9).

My husband, Larry, talks about how, if it were up to him, he would have chosen Caleb to be the new leader of the Israelites, because Caleb had natural leadership skills.

But God chose Joshua and had to emphasize, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.” God wasn’t looking for a leader who might depend upon his own strengths.

He assigned Joshua as leader because Joshua knew he needed to look to God—who would then demonstrate His own power.

God asks His question to draw attention to Joshua and the Israelites’s need of God’s characteristic of strength to carry them through.  

(3) Jesus asked the Samaritan Woman (in a telling kind of way), “Give me a drink” (John 4:7).

 Most commentators believe this statement can be regarded as a question, because Jesus gave her a choice.

Jesus reached out to a person most despised by the Jews. Jesus broke the mold of the typical prejudiced Jew and showed compassion for a woman who is the least of the least.

Little by little, He breaks through the walls of her many defenses until she is so thrilled to know the Messiah, she leaves her water pot behind and runs to tell her fellow villagers—who hate her—she has found the Messiah.

Jesus spotlighted His compassion and mercy.

(4) Jesus asked, “What do you think, Simon?” (Matthew 17:25).

Peter (Simon) had just talked with the tax collector, and Peter lied. The disciples hadn’t paid the tax, but Peter said they had.

He was distressed. Jesus addressed his swirling, fearful heart, and helped Peter work through His tumultuous thoughts.

Jesus, a wise counselor, knew the inner workings of Peter’s heart and mind—and ours also.  

In each of these examples—which are only a few of the many in the Bible—God and Jesus reveal their unified nature which includes a multitude of amazing attributes.

• Every single one is in sync with the others in an intricate tapestry of holiness.
• Every question and every interaction with men, women, and children, points to the wonder and awe of God's love, knowledge, power, creativity, faithfulness, and so many other characteristics.
• And each one assures us He is working in our lives—motivated by love, care, and goodness.

What is your favorite quality of God and why is it important to you?

Kathy Collard Miller loves to help women trust God more through her 58 books and her speaking in more than 30 states and nine foreign countries. Her website/blog is www.KathyCollardMiller.com. Kathy’s newest book, co-written with her husband, Larry, is God’s Intriguing Questions: 40 Old Testament Devotions Revealing God’s Nature. Book two in the series is God’s Intriguing Questions: 60 New Testament Devotions Revealing Jesus’s Nature. Check out Kathy’s Amazon author page. 

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Brightside Creative at Lightstock.

Is Overcoming Jealousy Really Possible?

I love how Kathy Collard Miller always goes beyond surface issues to deeper heart motives. In this Attitudes UPGRADE, she deals with the unsavory and distructive attitude of jealousy.

“I don’t understand why I didn’t get that opportunity,” Kathy said. “It’s perfect for me. God made a mistake.”

Have you ever thought that? I (Dawn) have. The ugliness of jealousy has side-tracked me from submitting to God’s will many times. I appreciate Kathy’s wisdom here.

Kathy continues . . .

I really did think God had done me wrong. From my perspective, it was obvious I should have been chosen for the responsibility.

But this wasn’t the first time I’d misjudged God’s plan.

I had to be honest with myself and recognize I had a problem with jealousy.

I wanted what others were given to do. And I wasn’t grateful for the opportunities God gave me.

One time, a friend asked me to participate in an informal survey identifying on a scale of 1 to 10—10 being the most—how much I struggled with jealousy. When I told her 10, she said, “You’re the first person to answer that.”

I was ashamed, but I became motivated to recognize the reasons for my jealousy and ask for God’s power to correct it.

When I read the Lord's perspective, I was motivated:

“For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice” (James 3:16 ESV).

Since then I’ve found some truths that have helped me.

1. Jealousy seems to have a good result, but that’s a lie.

Solomon recognized that when he wrote,

“Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work come from a man's envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and a striving after wind” (Ecclesiastes 4:4).

On the one hand, it seems jealousy is a good motivator to do better. But it only brings “vanity,” a kind of self-focus which leaves out God. Jealousy is only as profitable as trying to catch the wind. It doesn’t really bring the good results we think.

2. Dealing with jealousy is possible.

God wants every good gift for us (James 1:17). James wrote, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (James 1:5 ESV).

God’s love for us is so extreme, He never wants to leave us without His power to respond in a godly way to every challenge.

When my heart becomes disgruntled with jealousy, I remind myself, “Kathy, you are not alone in this battle. God wants to help you.” Then I thank God by faith that He is ready to assist me.

I also don’t depend upon my feelings to judge whether He is being successful. Every feeling may not be destroyed, but God always empowers us to make wise choices.

3. Jealousy is related to arrogance.

I Corinthians 13:4 tells us, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant.”

There seems to be some connection between jealousy and arrogance because both are the opposite of love.

Jealousy is fueled by believing we know better than God.

That’s why I thought God had done me wrong. I believed He didn’t know what he was doing. I’ve been immediately repenting of my jealousy by thanking God that He knows everything and what is best.

These three truths began to transform my thinking.

I actually am jealous less often. My thoughts more often are, “If God has chosen that person for what I’d love to do, He knows best for that person and for me. Thank you, Lord, for giving me and her your best gifts.”

It really is possible to be less jealous!

What can create jealousy in you? Which of the truths shared here is most important for your journey to overcome jealousy?

Kathy Collard Miller loves to help women trust God more through her 56 books and her speaking in over 30 states and 9 foreign countries. Her website/blog is www.KathyCollardMiller.com. Kathy’s newest book, co-written with her husband, Larry, is God’s Intriguing Questions: 100 Devotions Revealing God’s Nature and Our Motives. Check out Kathy’s Amazon author page at: https://www.amazon.com/Kathy-Collard-Miller/e/B001KMI10S/

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Robin Higgins at Pixabay.