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Entries in Lonely (2)

Thursday
Sep242020

Now He's Alone

Susan K. Stewart is a creative writer, often using what is at hand to teach powerful, practical scriptural truths. In this Hope UPGRADE, she asks us to consider her donkey friend, Jeb.

"Being alone is not pleasant for any of us," Susan says. "Loneliness is made harder because it’s a pain that can’t be seen."

I (Dawn) also believe the pain of loneliness is real, and it's been magnified by the coronavirus lockdowns and restrictions. God has a word of comfort for the lonely, and sometimes He speaks through unusual means—even a donkey's soulful bray.

Susan continues . . .

Jeb hadn’t always been alone. He had family and friends nearby when we met him. Gradually though, they all seemed to move on, leaving him a sad, lonely donkey.

Our life with donkeys began with three jennies from a camp for special needs children. We adopted three of the five therapy animals: Georgia May, Hope, and Shawna. Our neighbor took in the other two: Ellie May and Jeb.

Even though the tiny herd was split up, they stayed in touch with occasional brays. Daily we could hear them chatting back and forth. Even though they couldn’t see each, the “family” knew they were all close by.

A couple of years later, we needed to re-home our three girls. Although the daily family chatter stopped, we could still hear Ellie May and Jeb converse, usually to anyone who would listen.

A few months later, Ellie May disappeared. We don’t know how she got out of the pasture, where she went, or why Jeb didn’t follow.

Now he was alone.

We could hear it in his calls. It sounded as though he were asking, “Where are you?”

Soon the cries for his family decreased, then stopped. Oh, Jeb still joined with other donkeys in the area with the morning donkey grapevine. But he no longer hollered for his family. They were gone.

As time went on, more of the donkey neighbors moved. The morning chatter stopped. No more friendly bantering catching up on the pasture news.

Eventually Jeb moved to our pasture. Our pasture is situated where he can see us throughout the day. While he was acclimating to his new home, we often went out to be sure he knew where the sweet feed was at, make his way to the hay feeder, and be sure he couldn’t work his way out of the gate. He only brayed to announce he was ready to eat.

He was still alone.

Sadly, there are Jebs all around us. People left behind for a number of reasons: friends and family move, a death of loved one, social distancing, and in our overly fast world no one has time to visit. Calls are made for awhile, but eventually when no one answers, they stop.

None of us wants to be a lonely Jeb.

Nor do we want to be the cause of such loneliness.

The writers of Hebrews tells us:

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV).

Here we have an outline to stave off aloneness.

1. The core of these verses is “not neglecting to meet together.”

This doesn’t only apply to attending functions at church. We can meet others where they are at—a coffee shop, their home, a care facility.

In our current world of social distancing and quarantines, it’s too easy to neglect basic fellowship. For those who are house bound, a simple phone call is all that is needed to let them know family and friends are still near—for “meeting together”

2. We’re also told to encourage one another.

One definition of encouragement is the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope.

I like the word “hope,” giving someone hope as a way of encouraging.

Doom and gloom seem to be all around us. We need to depend on each other for positive reports, positive conversation, even positive social media—for hope.

During this time of economic difficulties, encouragement can come in the form of a bag of groceries or a gift card.

Any way we can let others know we see them and we care gives needed support for confident hope.

3. It’s after we reach out and give support we can help “stir up love and good works” in others.

A lonely person may be like our Jeb—going through the motions of each day, but no desire to do much more.

Through our actions, the Jebs in our lives can see love and good works, then move on to share to with others.

Each of us, even when surrounded by others, can feel abandoned and alone. We can even feel God has deserted us. We don’t seem to hear him.

Think of all those who have gone before us who had the same emotions.

  • David wrote, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?”
  • How much more alone could Jonah have felt?
  • Jesus cried on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34)

Then came the morning. God was there. He is there.

While we may be alone for a while, we are never deserted. Our companion, Jesus Christ, is walking with us, even when we don’t see him.

Do you feel alone? How can you move from loneliness to hope to encouragement?

Susan K. Stewart is the Managing Nonfiction Editor with Elk Lake Publishing Inc. She tends her donkeys, chickens, and various other creatures with her husband Bob on a small ranch in Central Texas. Susan’s passion is to inspire readers with practical, real-world solutions. Her book, Donkey Devos: Listen to your donkey when God speaks, is due out early next year. Learn more at her website:  www.practicalinspirations.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Anna ER at Pixabay.

Tuesday
Jun182019

3 Suggestions for the Next Time You Feel Lonely

Becky Harling shares transformational messages, encouraging her audience to think biblically—and she does so with both depth and humor. In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she offers three things to try if you're feeling lonely.

"What if your loneliness wasn’t something to dread but a vehicle for God to use?" Becky said. "What if instead of running from loneliness or hiding from it, you embraced it and ran to God?"

I (Dawn) seldom feel lonely, but when I have, it was tough. I think Becky's suggestions here are realistic and helpful.

Becky continues . . .

In our lives, we bristle against loneliness. We avoid it at all costs.

Yet many of us are experiencing soul weariness because we run from loneliness.

I remember a few years ago, during a heavy season of travel and ministry, I collapsed on my hotel bed and had a rather bizarre thought: “I’m lonely”.

After thinking about that, I almost giggled out loud reflecting, “How on earth can I feel lonely when I’ve been with people non-stop?” That’s when it hit me!

“I’m lonely for God!”

I had been pushing hard, and I needed time to sink into God’s presence and simply be at home with Him. He is my heart’s true home, and I needed the soul refreshment that comes only from enjoying His presence.

The Psalmists who wrote Psalm 84 understood. They penned,“My soul yearns, even faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God” (Psalm 84:2).

In our fast-paced, over-caffeinated, non-stop culture, we need refreshment and renewal.

In order for that to happen, we must embrace our loneliness and recognize it as a divine signal inviting us to our heart’s true home—God. There in His presence we can relax, re-group, rest and simply be loved.

All of this may sound ethereal to you.

How do you experience God’s presence when there’s so much pressure from our society to perform and accomplish? It’s not as difficult as you think.

Here are 3 simple suggestions to get you started.

1. Read a Psalm.

The Psalms are a great place to find connection. These poetic masterpieces help you connect with God.

In addition, the authentic words and feelings of the various Psalmists will help you feel connected to their emotions.

As you hear them crying out—

you’ll find yourself whispering, “Me too!”

The Psalms offer empathy to the feelings we experience in our journey with God and help us connect with Him at a deeper level.

2. Recognize the Ache in Your Soul Is Your Call Back to God.

The ache you feel deep in the innermost parts of your soul has been placed there by God Himself. It is a hunger that only He Himself can fill. Nothing else will completely satisfy.

In our culture, we don’t like to feel pain, so we run from pain, hide from pain or numb our pain. The truth is, pain can be a fabulous signal alerting us that something is wrong.

When you feel the pangs of loneliness, rather than turning on Netflix or vegging out in front of an Amazon movie, consider whether you’ve had adequate time soaking in God’s presence.

Set aside some extra time to relax unhurried in His presence. In your time, read a few verses, listen to some worship music, journal your prayers, and ask the Holy Spirit to give you a deeper awareness of God’s presence.

3. Re-connect with Heart Friends.

Not only were our souls created with a hunger for God, they were also created with a thirst for friends.

In Psalm 95, the Psalmist invites others to join him in worship, writing, “Come let us sing for joy to the Lord” (Psalm 95:1).

When my soul is bone weary, I know I need extra time alone in God’s presence; but then I also need my heart-connection friends.

  • With these friends we can have a conversation about what God’s teaching us and how we’ve experienced Him in the mundane of everyday life.
  • We can share prayer requests and encourage each other in the journey.
  • With these heart friends, I experience the presence of God in our fellowship, and I walk away refreshed and uplifted. 

Friend, the next time you feel lonely, read a Psalm out loud, recognize your soul is aching for God, and re-connect with heart friends who understand your spiritual journey.

Don’t run from loneliness or hide from it. Instead, embrace it and then celebrate that loneliness can lead you back to your heart’s true home—God.

Think about the last time you felt lonely. How could these three suggestions have helped you get back on track?

Becky Harling is authentic. Passionate. Funny. She brings a life-transformational message to every audience. Becky has a Biblical Literature degree and is a Certified Speaker, Leadership Coach and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team. She is represented by Outreach Speakers. Her experience as a pastor’s wife, women’s ministry director, breast cancer and childhood sexual abuse survival all bring depth and realism to her message. Becky wrote eight books. Her latest, Who Do You Say that I Am?—an 8-week Bible study/video series—looks at the “I Am” statements of Jesus. Listen Well, Lead Better, written with her husband Steve, releases in February 2020. 

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Engin Akyurt at Pixabay.