How to Replace the What-Ifs of Fear

Debbie W. Wilson, a practical Bible teacher and counselor, continually points people to the "big God" she serves—the God who is always with us. In this Attitudes UPGRADE, she answers our what-ifs with biblical steps to become less fearful.

Debbie asks, "Have you ever been fearful over what might happen—to you, your child, your spouse, your country, or yourself?"

I (Dawn) am not normally a fearful person. Ok, strike that. I'm unreasonably afraid of house fires and snakes. And maybe empty grocery shelves.

What does the Bible teach us about our what-ifs of fear?

Debbie continues . . .

Most of my concerns fall into the what-if category.

Maybe you can relate to some I’ve felt or heard.

• What if I lose my job?
• What if my symptoms signal something major?
• What if our economy collapses?
• What if my prodigal never comes back?
• What if my husband can no longer work?

Do what-ifs steal your peace? Have you considered the influence of the little word “if”? An “if” in the wrong place undercuts peace and joy.

Too often I’ve allowed a what-if or an if-only to rob me. 

But there is another kind of what-if that empowers.

3 Steps to Becoming Less Fearful

1. Obey God’s Word.

Jesus told us not to worry about what to wear, what to eat, and what to drink. He concluded with, “So do not worry about tomorrow” (Matthew 6:34).

Paul said, “Don’t worry about anything” (Philippians 4:6).

What would happen if we obeyed Christ’s words?

Adam and Eve provide a vivid picture of what happens when we don’t obey God.

The forbidden fruit didn’t look harmful to the couple, but God knew the pain it would cause. Like catching a deadly virus, the poison began to multiply within them the moment they disobeyed God. The repercussions exploded over time.

If Adam and Eve had obeyed God there would be no COVID, no riots, no wars, and no death. We can’t fathom the ripple effect of disobedience.

When we disobey God, our peace, joy, and relationships suffer.

When Jesus says don’t worry, trust Him, He knows best.

When we treat Christ’s words as sacred commands we say, “I will trust you, even if I don’t feel like it. Even if not worrying makes no sense to me.”

2. Stop the Scent of Fear.

When my husband and I visited Yosemite National Park, videos and signs sprinkled throughout the park warned tourists that bears are attracted to the smell of food.

We locked up not only our food, but also lip gloss and anything that smelled like food. Otherwise bears might attack our car or cabin.

Satan smells worry and comes after you the same way bears follow the scent of food. Learn to cast your cares on Christ.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:7-8).

3. Choose Healthy What-ifs.

Instead of focusing on the negative what-ifs,” fix your thoughts on the Lord. Dread disappointing Him instead of what you fear.

Try these substitutes.

• What if God is for me?
• What if He is trustworthy?
• What if God uses this for our good—like He promised?
• What if He’s worthy of my worship and obedience?
• What if God is bigger than my fears and imaginations?

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego chose to worship God even if it meant enduring the worst they could imagine. Enraged at their defiance, King Nebuchadnezzar had them thrown into a fiery furnace that was so hot the men who threw them in died instantly.

But, when King Nebuchadnezzar looked into the fire, he leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, "Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?"

They replied, "Certainly, Your Majesty."

He said, "Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods” (Daniel 3:24-25).

King Nebuchadnezzar SAW the preincarnate Christ in the fire with the three Hebrews.

But Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego EXPERIENCED Christ. He was their sanctuary in the fire.

Jesus never promised we wouldn’t go through trials. He promised to never leave us.

When we remember His character and focus on trusting and obeying Him, we shed the bothersome what-ifs and enjoy EVEN IF peace.

Can you identify a what-if you need to give to the Lord today?

Debbie W. Wilson is an ordinary woman with an extraordinary God. Drawing from her personal walk with Christ, twenty-four years as a Christian counselor, and decades as a Bible teacher, Debbie speaks and writes to connect sojourners to the heart of Christ. Despite time in Boston, the Midwest, and Southern California, she still says y’all. Her family, which includes two mischievous standard poodles, calls North Carolina home. Look for the release of her latest book, Little Strength, Big God, August 2022. Find free resources and connect with Debbie at debbieWwilson.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Mart Production at Pexels.

Three Mindsets that Can Derail New Beginnings

Joanie Shawhan knows about new beginnings. She has overcome much, and shares suggestions for helping others overcome obstacles in life too. In this Goals UPGRADE, she shares three mindsets that can derail new beginnings."New beginnings can be exciting," Joanie says. "But sometimes new beginnings are the result of painful circumstances."

I (Dawn) know exactly what Joanie's saying! When I got a "new beginning" with a stem cell transplant, my nurses sang, "Happy Birthday." But knowing I had a new beginning and acting like I did were not the same thing. There were debilitating attitudes I had to overcome. Joanie writes about three big ones in her own life.  

Joanie continues . . .

God often uses life’s difficulties to move us forward, change our direction, or give us a new purpose.

For me, a diagnosis of ovarian cancer opened a door I never dreamed possible.

I sensed the Lord leading me to write my cancer story in a book I would’ve liked to read when I needed encouragement and support. A book that would validate my own cancer and chemotherapy experience.

I felt overwhelmed.

Surely, God couldn’t be asking me to write a book. I had no writing experience.

But God places dreams in our hearts bigger than we could ever imagine—dreams only he can fulfill. If God called me to write, He would fulfill His word and enable me.

But in order to walk out this new call, I needed to align my thoughts with the Word of God.

Moses had warned the Israelites of three wrong mindsets that could derail God’s purposes for them when they were on the verge of entering the promised land. I also needed to be alert to these pitfalls that could divert me from God’s path.

Three Wrong Mindsets

1. Fear.

“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NLT).

When God called me to write In Her Shoes: Dancing in the Shadow of Cancer. I thought, God, this is too big for me.

Voices clamored in my head.

Writing a book is too hard. What if I fail?

Just as Moses instructed the Israelites not to be afraid, I also needed to remember God’s past faithfulness. He would lead me through every step in the process of writing and publishing.

If I had succumbed to the mindset of fear, the book I had wanted as a resource wouldn’t be available to help and encourage other women.

2. Pride.

“He fed you with manna in the wilderness, a food unknown to your ancestors. He did this to humble you and test you for your own good. He did all this so you would never say to yourself, ‘I have achieved this wealth with my own strength and energy’ (Deuteronomy 8:16-17 NLT).

When I’m stuck in a mindset of pride, I think I can accomplish God’s plan through my own effort.

I need to humble myself and accept the counsel and help from others in the industry, including their constructive criticism.

Ouch!

I am grateful to my editors, mentors, and critique partners whose only desire is to improve my writing and help me succeed.

3. Forgetfulness.

“Remember the Lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful,” (Deuteronomy 8:18 NLT).

Even though I worked hard, my success was not based solely on my efforts. I could not have accomplished my dream without God’s help and the help of many others.

I am grateful to God for His mercy, grace, and continual reminders of how much I need Him.

When I said yes to God, I never imagined the doors God would open for me.

• He led me step by step through the process, and directed me to attend writing workshops so I could learn the craft.
• He provided me with a mentor, a writing critique group, and multiple other connections to help me reach my goal of publishing my book.

Whether I’m in the messy middle or have completed my project, I need to be aware of these stumbling blocks so I can avoid them.

These pitfalls will hinder my walk with God and the fulfillment of my God-given dreams. He wants to fulfill His promises to me. But I need to walk into these promises His way, not my way—and not on my own.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” (Romans 8:28 NLT).

God delights in fulfilling His promises and the dreams He’s placed in our hearts—His way.

How can you avoid these pitfalls when your trials open doors to new beginnings?

Joanie Shawhan shares true-life stories, offering her reader an eyewitness view of the action. Her Selah Awards Finalist book, In Her Shoes: Dancing in the Shadow of Cancer, reflects the value of “Your story plus my story become our stories.” An ovarian cancer survivor and registered nurse, Joanie speaks to medical students in the Survivors Teaching Students program. She co-founded an ovarian cancer social group: The Fried Eggs—Sunny-Side Up. Publishing credits include: Guideposts Divine Interventions, Snapshots of Hope & Heart, Wit, Whimsy & Wisdom, Life Repurposed, and We May Be Done But We’re Not Finished. Follow Joanie at www.joanieshawhan.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Silviarita at Pixabay.

The Last Hour

Kolleen Lucariello is one of my friends who always sees a spiritual application in the simplest of life's situations. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she reminds us of a Bible story about "watchfulness," and how it might encourage us to be more alert to opportunities to help others.

“How’d you like the ending, hun?”—my husband teased as I awoke from my slumber.

"I’d done it again," Kolleen says. "I'd waited weeks to see who would win the finale of our favorite voice competition, only to sleep through the final hour."

HA! I (Dawn) have done that too! So frustrating! But Kolleen couldn't just leave it there, and I'm glad she didn't.

Kolleen continues . . .

Sleep—necessary for the wellness of our bodies, and yet, it seems it can also carry quite a cost when missed opportunities are its aftermath.

Some a bit more significant than others. I mean, seriously, missing the finale of a television show due to a snooze on the couch won’t destroy a life. However, falling asleep on the job, might.

Sometimes, we can be robbed of sleep and then there are also occasions, unfortunately, when sleep can rob us.

My heart was hit with this thought as I read through the account of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. I saw with fresh eyes how Peter, James, and John may have felt after they realized the last hour they’d spent with Jesus—before His arrest—had been spent sleeping.

Can you imagine?

When I find myself in disbelief, my mind ruminates, so: perhaps they mulled over and over again, “My last hour with Jesus and I fell asleep.” He asked me to “Stay here and keep watch with me” and I fell asleep (Mark 14:34b). Not once or twice, but three times.

I could have watched with Him.

I could have done what He asked of me.

Instead, I fell asleep and missed the last hour I had to spend with Him.

What did Jesus ask Peter when He found him sleeping? “Simon, are you asleep? Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour?”

A question that feels like it holds the disappointment of unmet expectations.

When His heart was “overwhelmed with anguish and crushed with grief” and “It felt as though He was dying” (TPT), Jesus needed His friends to keep watch and wait with Him—the same friends that had boasted of their willingness to suffer and die alongside Him.

• Wait with Him as He wept in the Garden.
• Watch with Him in His distress and anxiety.
• Pray for the battle He was about to endure.

Now, I don’t presume to believe I would have done anything different; my flesh isn’t any stronger than Peter's, James', or John’s.

In fact, as I contemplate the events of that night in the garden, I question my own ability to remain steadfast and alert when someone needs me like Jesus needed them.

Perhaps I, like Peter, James and John, have good intentions to remain alert and watch, but instead gave into the temptation to drift off in sleep—sidetracked by my own schedule or crisis while allowing my own comfort to dictate my level of commitment.

Quite possibly, if I were to lean in and listen closely, I might hear Jesus whisper, “Could you not watch and pray for them even one hour?”

OUCH!

Quite possibly, because Jesus knew His need in the garden that night, God is asking us to be watchful of others in their own hour of need.

Watch now before the hour passes.

Remain AWAKE for:

Someone whose soul is crushed by the weight of grief?  

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:4, NLT).

Someone whose anxious thoughts are trying to overtake them?

“For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance” (Philippians 1:19 NLT).

Someone paralyzed by fear and begging God for the strength to endure the battle?

“Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere” (Ephesians 6:18 NLT).

Friends, it’s time to review the last hour. Did sleep rob you of an opportunity to be present with someone in their time of need?

Remain watchful that your own exhaustion isn’t used against you as a temptation to lull you to sleep.

Remember, it’s your flesh that is weak, not your spirit.

Let your spirit lead the way!

“The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results” (James 5:16 NLT).  

Let’s produce some wonderful results.

Kolleen Lucariello, #TheABCGirl, is the author of #beYOU: Change Your Identity One Letter at a Time and is the Co-Director of Activ8Her, Inc. She is passionate to every woman realize her identity in Christ and live accordingly. Kolleen and her hubby, Pat, make their home in Central New York. She’s the mom of three grown children and Mimi to six incredible grands. For more information about Kolleen, visit www.speakkolleen.com

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Victoria Borodinova at Pixabay.

How to Champion Your Missionaries

Sally Ferguson helps people see the wonder in the simple moments of life when they are yielded to God and based in the truth of God's Word. In this Ministry UPGRADE, she gives us insight into missionaries' needs, and how we can help in practical ways.

"The young widow burst into happy shouts," Sally said.  

"Our team stared speechless as she showed us her empty jar. There was no food for her table tonight, but our bag of provisions became her sustenance."

As a missionary wife, I (Dawn) so appreciate Sally's heart for missions. I agree with her about the many ways Christians can bolster missionaries and their work for the Kingdom of God.

Sally continues . . .

I had the privilege of seeing an Elijah moment (1 Kings 17:7-16) in person. Not only did God answer her prayer for food, but He answered ours, "to be the hands and feet of Jesus."

This wasn’t my first trip to Uganda, but it was the first to see something like this—and we were in awe of what God had done.

Missionaries are often put into tough spots as they seek to balance the needs they see before them, and their own need for healthy boundaries.

How do they juggle a desire to help everyone they see, with the limited resources they manage?

Tim Stevenson* says,

"You can’t fix everything, but you can help someone. Focus on that which you can do and leave the rest."

Tim and Colleen* have certainly helped many in over thirty years of serving in Uganda, through construction, establishing schools, developing sponsorship programs, and training pastors. Their leadership is known and respected throughout the country.

Maybe you’re thinking you can’t be a missionary like Tim and Colleen? Did you know missionaries depend on folks back home to be their emotional support as well as for prayer backing?

Here are three ways we can partner with our missionaries from afar.

1. Go

Many missionaries welcome work teams to join in the work. The partnership enables a bigger return for the time investment, and, in linking arms together, lightens their load.

Visiting teams benefit from the experience of seeing the endeavor firsthand and leave more blessed because of the opportunity to serve.

Over the last twelve years, our church has sent work teams to Uganda and Alaska, and eye clinics, pastoral training, and grief counseling to Uganda. Each person returns home with a keen appreciation for the amenities we take for granted and for people who serve long-term in other cultures.

The trip enables people to take ownership in the calling of missions and puts a personal bent on what mission assignments look like.

The Holy Spriit equips us to go as God’s ambassadors (Acts 1:8).

2. Greet

When missionaries take a furlough, it is not a vacation.

The furlough usually involves extensive traveling to home base churches to stay in contact with financial and emotional support. Many times, these stops include speaking and recruiting new supporters.

It is an exhausting life and a place where you can step in to provide a reprieve.

Do you have . . .

• an extra car in the driveway?
• a spare bedroom where they can relax away from itineration?
• extra seats at your dining room table?

Missionaries need time away with their family, as well as time with your family.

Could you take them to see . . .

• a baseball game?
• a state park in your neck of the woods?
• a local wonder?

Hospitality is more than opening your home. It is opening your heart to welcome another in. Even a picnic can be the best medicine when the conversation is sweet.

Practice hospitality (Romans 12:13).

3. Give

All missionaries feel the sting of financial restrictions. They yearn to meet the needs they encounter every day and yet not have the resources to match their desire to help.

That’s where we come in.

We can give out of our excess, or we can give sacrificially, depending on our ability.

2 Corinthians 9:7 says God loves a cheerful giver, but what it doesn’t say is giving makes you cheerful.

The act of generosity is contagious and heart lifting.

Yes, a need is met, but your needs get met, too, because we’re all wired to serve. It’s like a release of endorphins that creates a party in your heart!

Ask your missionaries about their projects.

Ours have ministries to families of AIDS victims, sewing programs, shoe apprenticeships, hair dressing, and catering training, school construction, well drilling, health facilities, child sponsorships and widow visitation. Yours may have that or a myriad of other outlets.

Let your dollars and cents add up to treasures for the Kingdom.

Paul said, Your gifts are pleasing to God. (Philippians 4:18).

Most of all, missionaries, like all people, need to be reminded they are cherished for who they are, and not for how much they can burn out. 

Encourage them in sickness and health, in poverty and wealth, and in their full pursuit of God. You will be blessed by their gift of friendship and have a front row seat to many more Elijah moments!

How will you bolster your missionaries?

Sally Ferguson loves to dive into God’s Word and splash His refreshing water onto others. She speaks and writes with a look at snapshots of life in the sunshine and in the storms. Sally plans women’s retreats and she’s working on a Bible study for caregivers. She lives in the beautiful countryside of Jamestown, New York, with her husband and her dad. Visit Sally at her website.

* Learn more about the ministry of missionaries Tim & Colleen Stevenson — https://heartofourafrica.blogspot.com/p/about-us.html.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Antoni Shkraba at Pexels.

Guardrails for Your Heart

Kathy Carlton Willis writes with whimsy and wit, insight and encouragement. In this Wellbeing UPGRADE, she shares four ways to protect our hearts.

“Lately, I’ve been told I’m more guarded than I used to be," Kathy says. "I’m afraid of being burned again. There are times to be cautious, and times to be more open.”

I (Dawn) think everyone has been hurt in some way. We do tend to guard our hearts, but not always in a healthy way. I appreciate Kathy's insight into how we can guard our hearts in good, biblical ways.   

Kathy continues . . . 

In fairytales, the castle often has amoat surrounding it and only those permitted to enter are allowed to use the drawbridge. The moat provides a way to guard the property from intruders.

The Bible talks about guarding our hearts and I wonder if we can use a moat-method to protect what God values—our hearts.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” Proverbs 4:23 (NLT).

First, what is the heart?

We know the Bible isn’t talking about the muscle that pumps blood to the rest of our body. It is the inner being that includes our mind, will, soul, and thoughts.

It is our decision maker. Our thoughts define who we become. In this way, it is the source of our authentic identity.

What we let in to our hearts helps determine what we feel and what we choose.

It is vital to guard our hearts and minds! When we guard well, we use God’s discernment gift to grow in wisdom.

What are the enemies of our hearts?

Anything that tries to come against us and derail us.

We need to protect our hearts from whatever is likely to interfere with what Eugene Peterson called, “long obedience in the same direction.”

• Enduring faith is threatened by doubts and discouragement.
• Being overwhelmed by stress and fatigue endangers what makes every day the potential for a good day—a God-day.

A moat helps protect what is valued from potential threats. But what if we are the worst enemy of our own hearts?

Sometimes we allow too much time exploring our thoughts and our feelings, and it hinders us from what is best for our inner being. In this case, a moat won’t protect us!

Let’s use a different image than a moat, then.

What if we used GUARDRAILS to keep us from going off track?

Personal Guardrails

1. Maintain your heart on a regular basis.

Look how the NKJV words our verse (Proverbs 4:23):

“Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.”

I think of the road crews I see working on guardrails—and the signs they post to be careful when damage is done.

2. Tap in to God’s peace.

When we experience God’s peace, He equips us with what we need to guard our hearts.

The key is the last part of the following verse—to live in Christ Jesus.

“Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7 NLT).

3. Store up God’s Word.

Stock up on supplies—in this case the words in the Bible have the power to help us guard our hearts.

The guardrail is in place so we don’t stray from God’s will.

“How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:9–11 ESV).

4. Treasure heavenly things, not earthly ones.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21 NLT).

As you can see, guardrails for our hearts don’t just magically appear. We have to build and maintain them. It is important work.

The heart is not only what we take to heaven with us when we die, but it helps us as we represent the King here on earth.

We can tell what’s in our hearts by evaluating what we say:

"But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, and these defile them" (Matthew 15:18).

We may not live fairytale lives, complete with castles and moats, but we get to serve a King who blesses us with heavenly treasures. The drawbridge leading to Him is Jesus Christ.

When He dwells in our hearts, we have yet another reason to put our guard up—to have restricted access to our inner beings: we don’t want to allow anything to compete against Jesus for lordship in our lives.

“Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong” (Ephesians 3:17 NLT).

What guardrails will you put in place to protect your heart?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Her latest books are The Grin Gal’s Guide for Wellbeing: Being Well in Body, Soul & Spirit, and the ancillary product, The Grin Gal’s Planner for Wellbeing. Set yourself up for success by joining one of Kathy’s virtual wellbeing groups. More information at kathycarltonwillis.com.