Are You Telling Yourself the Truth?

Poppy Smith loves to inspire women to thrive. In this UPGRADE post, she encourages us to consider something that may be limiting us ... our self-talk.

“Not everything we think is true,” says Poppy. Some women believe they are the best, that they can do anything they set their minds to. More often, though, women think, I can’t do that. I’m not capable. I could never step out and take a risk!” 

Did Poppy just step into my (Dawn's) mind? I struggled with negative self-talk for years, but I am glad the Lord taught me the powerful truth Poppy shares here!

She continues ...

Several years ago I was invited to be the “International Speaker” for a large Christian organization in Australia. The invitation to tour for six-weeks, through seventeen cities, was both a shock and a thrill. However, the night before my first conference in Perth, I was overwhelmed with fear that I’d be the first “International Speaker” to be sent home.

Sobbing, I told myself, They made a terrible mistake inviting me.  I have nothing to give. I can never live up to their expectations. What possessed me to say yes?

After I finally calmed down, I sensed God’s Spirit nudging me:

Poppy, did you seek this invitation for yourself? 

     No, Lord, I had never heard of them. 

Did you prepare faithfully?

     Yes, Lord.

Have you prayed for My power to be evident in your talks?

     Yes, Lord.

Then, go and give out what I’ve given to you and leave the rest in my Hands.

Six weeks later, I marveled at what God accomplished in spite of my human inadequacies.  I also learned a powerful lesson:

What we tell ourselves is pivotal to either staying stuck spiritually and emotionally, or moving forward with a growing, active faith in God.

Here are three reasons every Christian needs to make sure her self-talk lines up with God’s truth.

1. Negative self-talk limits your experience of God’s love and acceptance. When you rehearse your failures, allow shame to crush you, or insist that God couldn’t possibly care about you, your mind is feeding you lies.

Romans 8:1 refutes the lie that you are unacceptable to God: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.”  

Take Action: Repeat this life-changing fact to yourself. Grasp hold of it—and train yourself to respond to lies with God’s statements.

2. Negative self-talk limits your ability to accept the love and friendship of others. If you tell yourself people don’t like you, are judging you, or have no interest in knowing you—you won’t reach out.

Believing these lies steals your joy and ignores God’s urgings in Hebrews 10:24-25: spur others on, don’t give up meeting together, encourage one another.

Take Action: Refuse to let isolating, misery-inducing self-talk go unchallenged. Start focusing outward. Ask God, Who do You want me to befriend?

3. Negative self-talk limits what God has made you capable of doing. My own experience taught me this truth, but how is your self-talk limiting your availability to God?  Is He laying on your heart to serve in some way that stretches you?

Philippians 2:13 says it is God who gives you the desire and the ability to act according to His good purpose.

Take Action:  Instead of dismissing the Holy Spirit’s nudges, stop and listen.  Then choose to say: By faith, I am going to pursue what God has for my life. I will trust Him. I won’t shrink back.

What nagging inner message holds you back from experiencing God’s love and power in your life? Which biblical truth do you need to believe and act on?

Poppy Smith is British, married to an American, and has lived in many countries. A former Bible Study Fellowship teaching leader with a Masters in Spiritual Formation, she is a multi-published author who speaks widely, challenging women to make their lives count by looking at their choices, attitudes, and relationship with God. For more about Poppy and her helpful resources, including her book, I'm Too Human to Be Like Jesus: Spiritual Growth for the Not-So-Perfect Woman, visit her website.

Graphic in text: adapted, Image courtesy of Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Fitness and Faith

I discovered Morgan Farr when a friend asked me to read her website. She is a young voice with passion for truth, bringing a biblical spin to so many things. In this Health UPGRADE, she connects health to ministry.

"What if the temple walls were crumbling," Morgan asks. "Would you repair them?

I (Dawn) know where's she's going with this. It's simple-but-profound truth.

Morgan continues ...

Imagine a temple of the Lord that has fallen in to disrepair. You would want to clean it up, get things working and in a way that welcomes people in to your ministry.

Did you know the exact same thing applies to our bodies? 1 Corinthians 6:19 says, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.”

How awesome is our God? He calls us to ministry and He gives us this awesome body to accomplish His glory.

Your body is your temple; it is your responsibility to keep it in good repair. So let me ask you: How is your temple? Are you satisfied with it? 

I am not talking about what it looks like; I am talking about what you can do with it. Can you do everything that you need and want to do? If not let me encourage you, health and fitness are vital to having a successful ministry! You have to take care of your body to use it for God’s glory. After all, it is His body, not yours. 

So here is my list to help you UPGRADE your ministry by taking care of your temple.

1) Pray about it!

The hardest part about getting healthy and fit is having the discipline to stay motivated and focused. Ask God to help you stay on track and to manage your time well. My favorite verse to pray for discipline is 2 Timothy 1:7 which says, “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

2) Eat Right!

1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

I will tell you a secret, fitness is achieved 60% in the kitchen and 40% in the gym. There are a ton of healthy recipes on the internet that you can access for free! My number one advice; cut out sugary drinks and replace them with water. Instead of chips for a snack, try some cut up veggies. Meals don’t have to be super complicated or expensive to be healthy.

3) Get Moving!

Your body is a gift from God; use it. No matter where you are in the fitness spectrum, you can start today. No access to a gym? No problem.  Get up and take a walk. Play with your kids in the back yard. Put canned food into shopping bags and lift them. Got young kids? Try doing squats while holding them. It is exercise for you and they will have a blast “helping mommy.”

You can absolutely do this! Remember what it says in Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”  

It isn’t enough to just read your Bible and do studies. We are called to stand out, to be different.

John F. Kennedy said:

“Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.”

We owe it to ourselves and to our Creator to take care of the temples he has given us and use them for His glorification.

What steps can you take today to start taking care of your temple?

Morgan Farr is an Army wife currently stationed at Fort Hood in Killeen, Texas with her wonderful husband Brian. She is a homemaker that dedicates her free time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one interactions and physical training. Morgan writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood on her blog.

Graphic of Temple: WikimediaCommons, Italy Modena Jewish Temple

'Financial Language' - Are You an 'Overcomer'? - Part One

This is the final "Financial Language" discussion by Janice Thompson, to help us UPGRADE our Finances. We've already had the Driver, Thinker, Partner, Avoider and Idealist.*  Now we'll consider the "Overcomer" in a three-part series.

"While I would certainly prefer to counsel with women before a major upset occurs in their life," Janice said, "it is often what I call a tsunami-type event that forces women to come face-to-face with financial matters, many for the first time."

Yes, I [Dawn] identify with that. It took a financial meltdown for me to reconsider the scriptures about good stewardship. How much better to think through financial matters before a crisis comes.

Janice continues ...

Regardless of their natural language, women in financial crisis are immediately thrust into a foreign land with little emotional reserve to help them navigate.

Having traveled through a number of foreign countries, I understand the strange sensation of stepping off a plane in a different part of the world where everyone is going about their normal lives, eating their normal foods, speaking their normal language, and it is all so different from what you know.

It can be a bit unnerving until you adapt—but adapt you must!

Ruth comes to mind when I think of a woman adjusting to a foreign land and learning a new culture. Born in Moab, Ruth married a Hebrew man named Mahlon (Ruth 4:10). Ten years later, her husband died. Ruth then chose to relocate with her widowed mother-in-law, Naomi, to Bethlehem in Judah. Ruth declared, "Your people will be my people" (Ruth 1:16).

This is a profound statement from Ruth who would now be poor in a foreign land. Even the fact that she was a woman would add to her difficulties.

Scripture records the story of the care and concern that helped her mother-in-law, Naomi, overcome the challenges she faced. Ruth so loved Naomi that she was willing to change everything about her own life—the comfort of familiar surroundings, her culture and her language. She was willing to leave everything that brought her security, because she trusted Naomi and Naomi's God.

Ruth's story illustrates the triumph of courage and ingenuity over adverse circumstances. God would ultimately bless her with Boaz, a devoted husband.

In this, we find special significance for Christians. In the gospel of Matthew, five women were included in the genealogy of Jesus (Matthew 1:2-17), and Ruth was one of the five. God honored Ruth's courageous faith both with provision and an incredible place in history!

Sudden or unexpected life-changing events can make a significant difference in a woman's financial life.

If you find yourself in the midst of your own tsunami, perhaps you can have faith to believe that you can remain:

• objective in the face of fear or uncertainty,
• stable as you face a cascade of overwhelming emotions,
• balanced in the face of redefining who you are—and most of all,
• hopeful in the care of a loving God!

Women, through no fault of their own, can find themselves in relationships where they have little say or no control over their finances.

Women in this circumstance are perhaps in the most difficult position of all. Husbands to these women often proceed with risky investments without the collaboration or knowledge of their wives. They may be arrogant, viewing their wives as incapable in this area or simply hiding their willful decisions because of the dissension it may cause.

This is extremely painful to the woman who is aware that her husband is not practicing wise financial principles, and she is undoubtedly headed for a tsunami not of her own making.

Before I address the tsunami events in more detail in future posts, probably the best advice I can leave with you is this:

Be proactive where you can, continue to search out wise counsel, and trust God with that which you cannot control.

There are no easy solutions for this heart-wrenching situation, but we have a BIG GOD!

"And my God will meet all your needs acccording to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19).

Do you feel like you're facing a financial tsunami—perhaps of your own making; perhaps not? Do you believe God can help you become a financial "overcomer"?

In Part Two (June 17), Janice will offer help to survive and thrive in three Tsunami-type events: Disability, Unemployment and Identity Theft. In Part Three (July 17), she will cover surviving the financial stresses of Divorce and Widowhood, and the dealing with Significant Wealth.

Janice Thompson is the co-Founder and CEO of One Degree Advisors, Inc, a comprehensive wealth management firm focused on biblically-based financial solutions. Janice is a Certified Financial Planner®, a Life Stewardship Advisor, and serves on the Board of Directors of Kingdom Advisors. She has two married children and one grandson. She and her husband Tom live in San Diego.

Note: Material adapted from the book, Managing Your Money Maze by Janice Thompson (Revive Our Hearts, 2009).

* Previous Financial Language posts: the Driver, Thinker, Partner, Avoider and Idealist. Also Re: Finances: Are you Thriving or Surviving?

Upgrade Your Graduate's Life

In one year, Pam Farrel and her husband had two kids (a son and daughter-in-law) graduate with a Master’s degree, a middle son graduate from university, and a son graduate high school. So how did they celebrate? They wrote The 10 Best Decisions a Graduate Can Make!

“We prepared our children for higher education,” Pam said, “by setting aside five ‘dinner and dialogue’ times to discuss key questions.”

Choices are a big part of this UPGRADE blog, so I asked Pam to share how she and her husband encouraged their kids’ wise thinking and choices.

She continues …

We wanted to give them a strong “freshman foundation” for an upgraded future!

Here are the key areas we discussed: The 5 Points of a Shining Star Future.

1. Fitness

We decided to start with what was least emotionally volatile—how to stay in shape emotionally, physically, relationally and spiritually in college. A physically strong body makes for an alert and teachable mind. Help your young adult think and pray through housing options and roommates. Where will they succeed emotionally, spiritually, physically and socially?

Can your young person even afford to go away to college, or is living at home for two years a better option—attending junior college and working to save for the second two years? In this case, talk through house rules with this new “adult” under your roof. Have your student prayerfully list their priorities and rank each variable.

If living in a dorm, how will they stay physically fit and not gain “freshman weight”? Handle stress? Deal with Homesickness? What is the plan for health insurance, doctor and dental visits and vitamins? What’s their work, sleep and study schedule?  

2. Finances

Discuss funding. How much will you contribute to education? How much scholarship money is available? Savings? Loans? Grants? How much can he or she work and still achieve well in school?

Introduce the student to the campus financial aid office. Have him or her write a budget, which encourages tithing. Money Management for College Students is a helpful resource from Crown Financial ministries. 

In our family, college is a privilege, not a right.

 Parental help is in direct correlation to growth we see in our kids’ moral, spiritual and community life. We will not fund sin.

Drinking, drug use, irresponsible behavior, having sex outside of marriage, not attending church and not being involved in an on-campus Christian group are all reasons for us to withdraw financial support. 

3. Future

Discuss career goals, internships, work experience, skill, talent and vocational inventory tests and surveys. Life Pathways by Crown Christian Financial Ministry is relatively in expensive comprehensive inventory (www.cfcministry.org).  

When will you expect a declared major?

Help your student research schools with the best reputation in their field. Clubs and organizations can also benefit a career path; and businesses near the university, study abroad, and volunteering can extend employment opportunities.

Discuss how to develop relationships with professors, and use of academic counseling and the college catalog to create a plan for graduation. Be honest about what leadership skills and areas of personal growth they still need to develop, and brainstorm together about how they can learn and acquire those skills. 

4. Friends

Relationships are the centerpiece of a college student’s life. We had lunch dates with our sons to discuss dating standards, how to find friendships with people of similar values, and how to find mentors and reliable leaders to follow. We discussed how our relationship with them would going to change; and we helped facilitate this transition by giving them increased responsibilities.

We also brainstormed with them ways to expand their social circle to gain a broader world view—to spend time with people from a variety of socio-economic backgrounds, cultures and countries. We encouraged wise review of campus clubs, organizations and social options.

5. Foundations

This concerns the important spiritual decisions for their future. Honoring God is key.

Our family motto is: "Those who honor God, God honors" (1 Samuel 2:30).

Ask how they intend to finding a local church to attend. What campus groups will they join? What factors will make up their decisions? (Having a doctrinal statement available and seeking your pastor’s or youth pastor’s opinion is also a wise option.)

Encourage church choice based not just on what they can get from the church, but also what they can give to the church—a place to serve, use their gifts, and mature. Focus on your student’s personal walk with God.

To UPGRADE your grad:  Walk alongside your young adult until he or she is solidly walking alongside God.

Which of these areas needs some extra attention before your grad leaves home? It’s not too late! Ask the Lord to help you.

Pam Farrel and her husband Bill are authors of more than 38 books. Their three sons—all college graduates now—love and serve Christ. To order their graduation book, 10 Best Decisions a Grad Can Make, visit www.Love-Wise.com.

Making Your Job Right at Home

I "met" Julie Sanders through The M.O.M. Initiative, a group of mothers who help women walk through motherhood. In this post, Julie helps us UPGRADE our home life by encouraging those of us who work from home.

"If you clock in and out from your own house," Julie says, "it doesn’t take long to figure out it takes work to work from home."

As a stay-at-home mom and then a woman working from her home, I (Dawn) emphatically agree with that statement! Successful work-at-home occupations don't magically happen. It take intentionality and often, creative thinking. That's why I love Julie's approach to working from our homes.

Julie continues ...

There was a time when I left each morning to go to a place I called “work,” a place I left behind each evening. When I took on a new position with the perk of flexibility, I found myself staying at the house to tackle my new to-do list and put in my allotted hours.

I loved being free to toss in a load of laundry, and my family loved knowing I was available, but the benefits soon turned into burdens.

I worked harder than ever to keep up with family needs and to perform well at the job that sent me a paycheck. Before I knew it, signs of my employment turned up all around the house, and my flexible work from home position started to engulf my time and energy, as well as my joy of being at home.

Surely I could contribute to family finances, use my abilities, and enjoy family life while being employed from home in a way that honored God and my loved ones. After all, I was doing my best to do my work “in the name of the Lord Jesus” (Colossians 3:17)—to “do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men” (Colossians 3:23).

Something had to change.

Four decisions made the difference.

1. Accept your limitations.

You may be doing new tasks from the comfort of your home, but added work means added time, energy, and concentration.

An industrious woman may envision herself with bottomless resources to match her motivation, but we all have our limits.

God is honored and our families are loved when we recognize the portion God has given us and use it wisely. This means we must accept our limitations.

2. Be realistic.

Though your added work takes place where your family lives, employment tasks are distinct from and in addition to routine needs.

The entire household needs to adjust their expectations of what mom’s day includes. Everyone benefits from a clear understanding of the job description and requirements.

3. Communicate your needs.

If working from home is going to work, clear and complete communication between family members is essential.

• How does the schedule look?
• What assistance do you need?
• What boundaries are required?
• How does everyone need to flex?

No one will know the challenges, and you won’t know your family’s feelings, unless you all communicate.

4. Do yourself a favor.

Instead of envisioning a seamless transition to work life at home, do yourself a favor and intentionally plan to take care of yourself, your family, and your spirit. Recognize potential stressors and counter them by making the care of your own spirit and body a priority.

Identify your family’s needs so they don’t get lost in the paperwork or quotas.

A host of benefits come with working from home, so don’t let the challenges intimidate or overwhelm you. With a little effort, your job can feel right at home.

What would your family life and work life look like if working from home was a success?

Julie Sanders works from home as an author and Women’s Ministry Director. Mother of two nearly-grown children, she enjoys opportunities to minister overseas with her husband. Her local and global ministry to women has made her passionate about the issue of human trafficking. Discover more about Julie at her blog.

Photo in Text: adapted, Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net