Back to the Future: Retreat to Plan the New Year

Kathy Carlton Willis is an encourager to the max! She knows how to motivate women to upgrade their lives. In this New Year’s UPGRADE, she suggests we all go on a “retreat.”

Kathy told me, “As a career coach I often hear the excuse, ‘I’m just too busy.’ I’m sorry, but I’m not buying it. Each person is given the same number of hours in the day.”

I (Dawn) do think there is a “too busy” level for all of us, but I’ve discovered better planning, delegating, and eliminating the non-essential and what God says “has to go” suddenly can free up a lot of time I didn’t know I had! So I am shouting a hearty “Amen” to Kathy’s words.

Kathy continues. . .

Sure, we all have different energy levels and abilities, but I’m positive we have exactly the resources we need to fulfill the purposes God has for each of us.

The next time you’re tempted to offer up the excuse, “I’m just too busy,” instead I challenge you to say what is the real reason: “It’s simply not a priority for me.”

We get to choose what is important in our lives.

One way I adjust my priorities is to have a yearly personal retreat, either at home or a remote location.

A familiar Psalm indicates what happens during a personal retreat.

“He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still and quiet waters. He  refreshes and restores my soul (life); He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake” (Psalm 23: 2-3 AMP).

Here are some pointers for your retreat:

1. Start and end with God.

Put your agenda aside. Focus on His strengths and skills. Fall in love with Him again. Be wowed by His power and wisdom. Worship Him, not for what He has done for you, but for who He is.

If you find your mind trailing off, use the alphabet to stay fixed on Him. Come up with a word that describes God from every letter in the alphabet.

2. Use a variety of worship techniques.

• Walk with Him in nature.
• Take photos of His creation.
• Sing along to praise music.
• Dance to the tune.
• Draw.
• Invent your own sign-language to symbolize the lyrics.
• Personalize Scripture.

3. Get filled up.

Surrender your life to God again. 100% God and 0% you.

Once you are filled up and yielded, then you are ready to proceed.

4. Evaluate the year just ending.

• What surprised you?
• What exceeded your goals?
• What derailed or disappointed you?
• What is still left undone?
• What desires and direction did God plant in you that indicates the New Year will look different?
• What was within your control to do that you procrastinated?
• What was not within your power that changed your plans?

Give the old year to God. Leave it behind without regrets as you move into the New Year.

Clean slate: either a second chance to get your current goals accomplished or brand new goals for a brand new year.

5. Ask God to show you His plans for your New Year.

Don’t merely ask Him to bless your agenda.

Be willing to follow God’s lead wherever it takes you—out of your comfort zone and into the faith-zone.

People ask my secret to getting so much done, and goal-setting is the root of my productivity. It’s not about success as the world sees it, or achievement. I’m focused on being and doing everything God has designed for my life.

Here’s a sample template for my goal-setting session. It varies depending on the year, so feel free to alter it to fit your needs.

• My spiritual growth goals for 2017 include:
• My mental/emotional growth goals for 2017 include:
• My physical goals for 2017 include:
• I will use my ability of ______ by doing:
• I will work on a relationship with:
• Finances will improve when:
• I will read ___ books.
• To be healthier, I will:
• I have a problem procrastinating. This year I will improve in the area of:

Fill out your goal worksheet, then sign it as an indication you will give 100% to God’s agenda.

Does God have a surprise for you in the New Year? Put on your eyes of faith so you can see it when it arrives.

Kathy Carlton Willis shines for God, reflecting His light as a speaker at writer's conferences and women's retreats, and as an author - contributing to three books and writing hundreds of columns and articles online and in print publications. She wrote Grin with Gracewith AMG Publishers and has several books releasing over the next few years. She and her husband Russ live in Texas with Jazzy, their hilarious Boston Terrier.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of depaulus, Pixabay

Making Peace with the Dishwasher Door

In this Attitudes UPGRADE, Rhonda Rhea reminds us we may not be in control of circumstances, but we are all in charge of our attitudes.

"Forget all those personality tests," Rhonda says. "Never mind the character studies. If you want insights into your own psyche, try the dishwasher."

Try the WHAT? Like I (Dawn) said, Rhonda is a pro at twisting everyday stuff into lessons for us all.

Rhonda continues . . .

The dishwasher is a handy-dandy machine that can reveal what you’re really made of.

All you have to do is follow these simple operating instructions: 

1. Leave dishwasher door open.
2. Unwittingly apply shin forcefully to side of the open door.
3. Repeat as needed.

There’s your temperament analysis.

A few years ago, there was a week or two when our dishwasher door wouldn’t stay closed. By the end of that time, I’m pretty sure I had taken a lot more personality tests than one personality can reasonably handle. Also more than one person’s shins can reasonably handle. My legs looked like a couple of old bananas.

Are those leopard print leggings?

No. No, they aren’t. … I wasn’t wearing leggings.

I’m not sure why I didn’t get better at maneuvering around that thing. Or even remembering that it was there.

Why didn’t I just learn to hurdle? I should’ve been Olympic-event-ready after the first few days.

It was, in fact, a strong leg survival instinct that inspired us to get the door fixed. And in the couple of weeks before it was fixed, there’s a good chance my family may have seen a little more of my “personality” than they wanted.

We often find out what we’re made of when we run into difficulties. Maybe even more so when we run into those difficulties really hard.

How do we respond when we hit a surprise painful situation?

• Anger?
• Bitterness?
• Self-pity?
• Thinking life is unfair?
• Thinking God is unfair?

How we respond directly relates to the peace we will—or won’t—experience in a painful situation.

It’s not so much a personality thing. It’s instead about what we let happen by our own choices.

In Colossians 3:15 Paul says, “And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, control your hearts” (HCSB).

There’s an important “let” in his instruction. We need to “let” His peace rule.

Sometimes we let personality—or some other aspect of ourselves—control our hearts. There are times when we focus on difficulty or injustice and end up letting bitterness rule. Or negativity. Or defeat and self-absorption. Sometimes we just plain surrender to sin and let it rule.

All those fleshly things certainly will control our hearts if we let them. They want that control.

Our flesh has a strong survival instinct.

The Greek word translated “control” in this passage is a word that means to be a referee or director—like one who presides over an Olympic game. The indwelling presence of our Messiah and the peace that He gives will referee our every internal battle. And peace wins the day at every point we will “let.”

Is there anything else you’re letting control your heart? Let His peace control instead. That’s the way to hurdle over any difficulty and win. Not just an Olympic win. A life win.

It’s at our humble surrender to His peace that we’re able to be fruitful, joy-filled, thankful—successfully passing every test. Even a personality test.

Yes, even the dishwasher-door-to-the-shin personality test.

What is your "test" this week? Will you let God's peace control?

Rhonda Rhea is a humor columnist, radio personality, speaker and author of 10 books, including How Many Lightbulbs Does It Take to Change a Person?, Espresso Your Faith - 30 Shots of God's Word to Wake You Up, and a book designed to encourage Pastor's Wives (P-Dubs): Join the Insanity. Rhonda, a sunny pastor's wife, lives near St. Louis and is "Mom" to five grown children. Find out more at www.RhondaRhea.com.

Graphic, courtesy of HomeBuildingLessons.com.

Really ... the "Elf" Made Me Do It!

In this Christmas UPGRADE, Dawn reminds us to make wise, proactive choices—even at Christmastime!

My Christmas "Elf on a Shelf," Ella Noelle, is responsible for all the things going wrong in my life this Christmas.

She's responsible for:

• My cookies that burned.
• My nearly-empty wallet.
• My 2-1/2 pound weight gain.
• My overbooked calendar.
• My angry outburst at the guy that cut me off on the way to the mall and my impatience waiting in a 40-minute line because I waited too late to shop.

Yeah, right.

I can say Ella Noelle is responsible all I want, but it doesn't make it so.

It's sort of like "The devil made me do it." 

No. The devil may tempt us, but he can't force us to sin.

I remember when comedian Flip Wilson (no relation) made that remark famous in the early 1970s. For some time after, many of my friends used that as their excuse for foul-ups.

I remembered my childhood imaginary friend, Stinky Sam. Whenever I was caught in a sinful act, I'd tell myself, "That was Stinky Sam"—while I'd stand there looking totally (and adorably) innocent, sometimes holding the evidence of my "crime."

I think with some Christian maturity, I've finally outgrown those silly blame-game episodes. I've put the childish ways of blaming others behind me (1 Corinthians 13:11). I've taken more responsibility for my foolish choices.

Until I haven't.

Just yesterday, I caught myself blaming the devil after I took the third Christmas cookie.

I asked my husband, "Who emptied my wallet?" (after a trip to the mall).

I couldn't believe it was ME who uttered those nasty, impatient words at the store clerk.

The truth is, I still have to learn a lot about "owning up" when I blow it.

We're all responsible for our own ugly stuff.

The scriptures teach us the concept of personal responsiblity (see Ezekiel 18:20). Both negatively and positively, we all will reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7-8; Isaiah 3:10-11).

Here are biblical examples of some who tried to dodge responsibility when they sinned:

• Adam and Eve tried the blame game, but God confronted them about their sin (Genesis 3:12-13).
• Cain tried to cover up his sin, but God found him out (Genesis 4:9).
• Jonah tried to duck out of his disobedience, but he still had to answer to God (Jonah 1:7-8).
• Achan was responsible for his hidden sin at the city of Jericho (Joshua 7:14-15).
• David finally had to "fess up" to his sin—and he recognize who he had ultimately sinned against! (Psalm 51:4).
• Pontius Pilate said he was innocent and blamed the Jews for Jesus' crucifixion, but God saw his heart (Matthew 27:24).

God's word of warning to us is: "Be sure your sin will find you out!" (Numbers 32:23). God sees and knows. We are without excuse (Romans 1:20).

He takes note of even our secret sins  (Psalm 139:1-4, 11-12, 23-24; Psalm 69:5; 90:8; Jeremiah 16:17-18). But He can help us turn from those sins hidden in our hearts (Psalm 19:12).

Today, I praise the Lord because He has a solution for our sin.

The great gift of Christmas is God reaching down to man with abundant grace.

In great love and mercy, when we confess, our faithful Father forgives (1 John 1:9; Proverbs 28:13).

The biggest responsibility we have is to repent, believe the Gospel and live for Christ—making the wise and godly choices that please Him (Mark 1:15; 1 John 4:9-10).

We can't blame anyone but ourselves if we fail to do that: not the Elf, the devil, or even Stinky Sam!

Are you blaming others or trying to cover up your sin? How can embracing the great truth of 1 John 1:9 encourage you to come clean before the Lord and move forward in freedom?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for Revive Our Heartsand a writer at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in Southern California and have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Be the Voice, Hands & Feet of Jesus This Christmas

In this Christmas UPGRADE, Becky Harling challenges us to see Christmas differently—through the eyes of Jesus—so we might more compassionately respond to others in need.

Becky asks, "What if Jesus actually wants you to be His voice, hands and feet this Christmas?"

When I (Dawn) first met Becky, I was overwhelmed with her sincere heart. It does not take much for me to imagine her reaching out as an ambassador for Christ, and I can hear her asking God the questions she shares in this post.

Becky continues . . .

I’ve always been intrigued by the story of the feeding of the 5,000. Maybe because my husband loves bread and there were 2 loaves involved.

Or maybe it’s because I wonder when I’m entertaining, if I have enough food to feed the crowd. When Jesus took a small boy’s lunch and multiplied it to feed 5,000, it was miraculous and inspiring!   

But the thing that intrigues me most about this story is the responsibility Jesus placed on the disciples to feed the crowd. When they expressed their compassionate concern for those who were hungry, Jesus turned to them and said, “You give them something to eat” (Mark 6:37). 

It’s fascinating to me that Jesus didn’t say, “Don’t worry guys, I’ll take care of it.” Instead, He invited the disciples to be involved. 

I believe this statement spoke about the plan He would soon be unfolding; His plan to change the world through you and me!

Later, Jesus promised to leave His Spirit to dwell in us so that we might become His voice, hands and feet in the world (John 14:15-24).

This Christmas, I’m more aware than ever of the needs of people. Here in the United States it seems our homeless population is growing and I hear Jesus voice in my heart whispering, “Becky, YOU give them something to eat!”

The refuge crisis is on the rise and when I pray for the plight of refugees, I hear the whisper of the Spirit saying, “Becky, what are YOU doing to help refugees? I left my Spirit in YOU.”

As I travel the world with my husband, Steve, who is the president of Reach Beyond, a non-profit organization seeking to be the voice and hands of Jesus around the world, the needs feel overwhelming.

In my state of feeling overwhelmed it’s easy to become paralyzed. Instead, I’m learning to ask the Holy Spirit how to be His voice and hands in that moment. Whether we’re visiting a radio station that we’ve planted and the folks simply need encouragement or if we’re hiking to a dirty village where folks need a clean water system, I’m learning to whisper a prayer, “Lord, how can I be your voice and hands in this moment?” 

Often it’s just taking the next step.

• Listening to the person who’s discouraged.
• Praying with those who need hope.
• Giving to a clean water project.
• Seeking to understand the plight of the refugee.
• Hugging the little village child.

What I’m discovering as I continue to pray that prayer is that the opportunities are endless. 

This Christmas may I challenge you? In all the joy of the holidays and celebrations, live beyond yourself. Seek to be the voice and hands of Jesus.

Here are some practical ways to do that:

1. Carry some prepackaged food, gift cards, or blankets in your car for the homeless. Or even carry written and signed Christmas cards.

Ask the Lord for wisdom. When you see a homeless person, and you feel the Spirit prompting you, give them a gift card, granola bar or blanket and a signed Christmas card! Most homeless have no address to receive Christmas cards.

2. Check out the rescue mission in your area.

Ask how you can serve. It’s easy to come up with easy answers for those who are homeless but poverty is cyclical and very difficult to escape. Ask God for a heart of compassion.

3. When you hear of or see refugees, don’t write them off.

Seek to understand and perhaps offer to take a refugee woman shopping for groceries. I personally believe that with the currant refugee crisis God is bringing the mission field to us! Don’t let fear hold you back. Ask the Lord for the courage to be His voice and hands. Most refugees have experienced more trauma than you or I can imagine.

4. Research a non-profit that aligns with your heart and give generously.

Most of us here in the States have more than enough and God loves a generous giver!

Friend, what if Jesus wants you to be His voice and hands this Christmas?

Becky Harling is an international popular speaker and the author of several books including, The 30 Day Praise Challenge. Her latest book, How to Listen so People Will Talk releases, August 2017. Becky’s husband, Steve Harling, is the president of Reach Beyond, a non-profit organization seeking to be the voice and hands of Jesus around the world. You can contact Becky for your next speaking event at www.beckyharling.com.

Smart Ways to Be Generous

Ellie Kay, America's Family Financial Expert®, is both wise when it comes to finances and compassionate when it comes to generosity. She is the perfect person to share this special Christmas UPGRADE!

"Christmas is the season for giving to others in our family, community, country and world," Ellie says. "What are ways you give to others during the holidays?"

I (Dawn) like the emphasis on giving that stretches us out of our comfort zones and into the compassionate zone, so Ellie's post really speaks to me.

She continues . . .

In the timeless children’s book by Shel Silverstein, The Giving Tree, the story begins, “Once there was a tree ... and she loved a little boy."

In this story, the boy would daily come to the tree to eat her apples, swing from her branches, or slide down her trunk ... and the tree was happy.

But as the boy grew older he began to want more from the tree, and the tree kept giving and giving—until she gave her apples, her branches and her trunk in order to provide the boy with wealth, a home and a boat.

But in the end the tree was happy to give.

Jesus said, “For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward” (Matthew 9:41).

I believe that every person can become a generous and savvy giver by looking for ways to reach out to their world and give more.

I also think this is something we can teach our kids and grandkids, too.

1. Donations to the Local Community    

You may be someone who is plugged into a local church that runs kids programs in the summers, provides food and clothing to orphanages, and sends money to victims of natural disasters.

Just as The Giving Tree happily contributed her apples to others, you could give a chance for people in your community to have employment opportunities.

For example, you may want to donate your outdated suits to DressForSuccess so that women who are struggling financially can have proper clothing to get a job interview.

Or, consider giving clothing to a consignment shop that benefits an organization you believe in helping.

Be sure to save tax receipts for all donations to any non-profit organization.

2. Don’t Fund Overhead or Fund Raising

The Giving Tree gave directly to meet the boy’s needs. You may want to do the same and probably do not want your donated dollars funding fat salaries, fancy overhead, or excessive fundraising expenses.

The Better Business Bureau’s (BBB) Wise Giving Alliance offers guidance to donors on making informed giving decisions through their charity evaluations, and the quarterly “Better Business Bureau Wise Giving Guide.”

3. Starting Your Own “Foundation”

If you are fortunate enough to have a large gain from a stock or mutual fund that you have held for over a year, consider using it to become what is essentially your own “foundation.” 

For example, if you own $5,000 worth of stock that you bought years ago for only $1,000, then you can donate the stock by setting up a Fidelity Charitable Gift Fund account. By doing this, you get an immediate $5,000 tax deduction and save having to pay taxes on the $4,000 gain.

In the years to come, as that $5,000 grows, you instruct the company that manages your “foundation” where to donate the proceeds.

Our family worked with military members for 20 years and established a Public Charity to help teach service members financial literacy. In 2016, we gave 15 presentations on ten bases across the country, giving away 3000 financial books and other resources. Heroes at Home 501(c)(3) started as an idea and became an amazing reality. In 2017, we will scale 25 events at 17 bases around the world.

4. Kid Philanthropists

It’s also important to teach our kids the value of philanthropy.

When our kids were growing up, they helped us gather and deliver food items for a local food pantry. They helped purchase modest toys and they dropped the gifts into the box at the “Toys for Tots” program.

Another option is to allow your children to manage a donation in a predetermined amount that you set aside for the purpose of teaching them to give. They get to research a variety of non-profit organizations and decide which one will receive their donation. Then donate the amount in your child’s name.

You get the tax benefit, your child gets the thank you note—you BOTH become Giving Trees.

Ten Priceless Gifts You Can Give for Free!

• Fix broken fences by mending a quarrel.
• Seek out friend you haven’t seen in a while or who has been forgotten.
• Hug someone and whisper, “I love you so.”
• Be patient with an angry person.
• Express gratitude to someone in your world.
• Make a child smile.
• Find the time to keep a promise.
• Make or bake something for someone else—anonymously.
• Take a walk with a friend.
• Smile.  Laugh a little.  Laugh a lot.

How will you give during this holiday season?

Ellie Kay is the best-selling author of fifteen books including Lean Body, Fat Wallet, and Heroes at Home. She is a Toastmaster Accredited Speaker as well as a popular international speaker and media veteran who has given over1,200 media interviews including appearances on ABC, CNBC, CNN and Fox News. As a popular columnist, she writes for six national magazines and has been a Subject Matter Expert for the Wall Street Journal, New York Times and Washington Post. Currently, Ellie provides financial education to military members through her “Heroes at Home Financial Event” sponsored for USAA. Ellie is married to LTC Bob Kay and they have seven children.