Become Productive in 2016

Pam Farrel is one of the most productive people I know. I'm always amazed by what she has accomplished in her personal life, family and writing/speaking ministry. In this New Year's UPGRADE, she encourages us to consider how we're using our time, because it can have a lasting impact.

"Each day we live the legacy we want to leave!" Pam says. "Because of the ticking clock, we need creative ways to squeeze the most out of each day."

Building a legacy is important to me (Dawn) too. I don't want to fritter away my time. Pam's insights into becoming more productive can help all of us use our time more intentionally.

Pam continues . . .

Eph. 5:15-16 reminds each of us: the time we have to create and leave a legacy is short.

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.”

People have often asked me, “How did you write 40 books, serve your church, keep a happy marriage, and raise sons who have also become healthy leaders with happy marriages and families too?”

So in 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman book, I share my 7 Simple Steps for creating time to P-R-O-D-U-C-E:

P - Plan Out the Future.

Plan each year, each month, each week, each day, and each hour. Those who fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

I like to use Outlook. (I color–code my Outlook so I can find items for family, work, social life quickly on my schedule, and I can input all important details.) I also plan who to delegate task to, or I schedule into my planner the time it will take for me to achieve the goal.  

R - Respond instead of React.  

 I don’t waste time on negative emotions.

Worry, self-doubt, frustration over delays or plans going awry are time wasters.

If I hit a really hard emotional hurdle, I will cry for a few minutes, then plan in time to better deal with the emotional fallout later.

To keep a positive disposition, I also plan in nourishing time off for favorite activities, dates with my husband, my kids, friends, ministry colleagues and days off for solitude. Time for self-care transforms into more time.

O - Optimize Multi-tasking.

I try to link easier tasks: Walk and listen to podcasts or audio books; fold laundry and watch the news; stretch while I listen to scripture songs; walk and pray through priorities or post to social media; dust or do dishes while memorizing scripture. 

D - Deliberately Group Tasks for Efficiency.

If I have to get dressed up for a meeting or speaking, then that is the day I also do other meetings, or filming for our ministry. I also link all my errands on one day.

By grouping similar tasks, I can also enjoy full days at home to be creative and comfy in my sweats!

U - Use every minute.

If I have an extra few minutes I check email, read newsletters, a magazine article or a book that can help me improve an area of my life.

I also handle small household tasks in those random five-to-ten-minute slots: clean out a drawer, wipe down the kitchen, empty the dishwasher or make a quick phone call.

C - Calendar Priorities.

I carve out and mark down time with God, family vacations, marriage getaways and date nights, our kids’ major responsibilities, activities and celebrations. These all get placed on the calendar as far out as possible.

E - Elevate My Vision.

I pray to get God’s viewpoint on my life, my marriage, my family, my ministry, my business, my friendships, my health—on all my life.

I have found it saves me time to do life God’s way.

God has great things for you to do. Enjoy seeing Him PRODUCE wonderful things through you!

Which one of these ideas will help you PRODUCE more in the next year? Or which will help you PRODUCE with a better attitude?

Pam Farrel is an international speaker and author of 40 books including her newest: 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman: Success in Keeping It All Together.   She and her husband Bill are relationship specialists who help people become "Love-Wise."

Graphic adapted, image courtesy of pixabay.com.

Upgrade Your Integrity

Pam Farrel is on a mission to help people grow with God’s truth and godly wisdom. In this Character UPGRADE, she focuses on the priority of integrity.

“Sin leaves a wake,” Pam says. “Behind every selfish action is a sea of hurt and pain.”

My (Dawn's) husband used to say, "It's not a matter of whether we're selfish, but rather how selfish we are." Selfishness can erode the strongest marriage!

Pam continues . . .

Bill and I are known as relationship specialists; experts on love and romance. This means is we need to live out our love! We need to make every effort to get along, work through issues, and give plenty of mercy and grace to protect our marriage.

Because our love—and yours—is about living and leaving a family legacy.

Protect Love and Legacy: the Bible tells us this is a priority:

“Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough? Clean out the old leaven so that you may be a new lump...” (1 Corinthians 5:6-7).

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life” (Proverbs 4:23).

The “A Priority” is to guard our life and protect the gift of love God gave.

God will bless your choice to keep your vows:

“He who walks in integrity walks securely…” (Proverbs 10:9).

“He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity” (Proverbs 2:7).

“For the Lord is righteous, He loves righteousness; The upright will behold His face” (Psalm 11:7).

 “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11).

In my newest book, 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman: Success in Keeping It Together, I share that on my desk are several items to remind me that it pays to walk in integrity.

On my desk you’d find:

1. Photos of me with Bill as well as photos of our children, grandchildren, mentees, parents—all those whose lives I would undermine if I cheated on my vows.

2. A compass given to me by a wise mentor in leadership who said, “Let God’s voice be your compass”

3. All my Bibles. Looking at God’s Word all day, every day, reminds me to be in it—and to let it impact the way I live.

4. A barnacle attached to a stone as a reminder that a barnacle cannot live apart from the stone just as I cannot survive apart from Christ, the Rock of my Salvation.

5. A frame with verses about living with integrity visible on the front, and stories of the harmful wake others left when they wandered from Christ and His plan for committed love.

6. A heart paper weight to remind me to have a whole heart for God.

7. A figurine with an umbrella on it, reminding me that life is best when lived under what I call “God’s umbrella of blessing.”

“For it is You who blesses the righteous man, O Lord, You surround him with favor as with a shield” (Psalms 5:12).

8. A turtle, because if you see a turtle on a fence post you should ask, “How did that turtle get there?

Turtles can’t climb, so someone placed the turtle on high. In the same way, God gave each of us a legacy, a platform, so God can take us down a few notches—or elevate and bless us—depending on our choices. 

“Be humble in the Lord’s presence, and he will honor you” (James 4:10).

Integrity may not be easy—but it can be SIMPLE. Guard your heart, your life, your love and your legacy.

What will you place on your desk to remind you that “those that honor God, God honors”? (1 Samuel 2:30) 

Pam Farrel and her husband Bill, are international speakers and authors of 40 books including their two newest: 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman and 7 Simple Skills for Every Man, each designed to help a person, using simple skills, to create a life that he/she will love to live, and a way to love those in his/her life. Find them at www.Love-Wise.com, where they are helping people in all their most vital relationships by intersecting God’s wisdom with people’s desire to be loving. 

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of usamedeniz at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

The 'A B Cs' of Growing a Child's Wonder at Christmas

A child's wonder at Christmas is a joy to behold. Sue Badeau explains three ways to expand that wonder in this Holiday UPGRADE.

“Growing a child’s wonder at Christmas is as simple as A, B, C,” Sue says, “and you can create many; special memories to ponder all year long.”

Do you have special holiday memories? Unique traditions? I (Dawn) have found they don't have to be complicated, just full of meaning for you and your family.

Sue continues . . .

When Hector and I first became parents, we hoped our children would ask, “I wonder what it was like to be in the field with the shepherds?” or “I wonder how I can celebrate Jesus birthday in a new way this year?” instead of “I wonder what Santa will bring me for Christmas?” So we set about planning Advent activities that wouldn’t focus on material gifts.

We wanted our children to truly experience the fullness and richness of the entire Advent season, and after a few hits and misses, we came up with a three-part strategy that we use to this day—now with grand and great-grandchildren.

A - Activities

Our activities engage all senses in discovering the true Christmas story.

We have a book of daily Advent readings, filled with scriptures and prayers that we read each night at the dinner table, followed by lighting the Advent candles. Everyone has a turn to be a reader as well as a listener.

In addition, throughout the month we find unique and creative opportunities to share, reflect upon, gain new insights into and re-experience the Christmas story through music, art, dance, crafts, baking—we made an elaborate Nativity scene out of bread dough one year—and more.

Our children connect with the miracles of the season by seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching things that enrich and deepen their ability to understand not only with their minds, but with their hearts and spirits.

B - Build

Build memories by repeating traditions. Whether it’s baking my mom’s shortbread cookies each Sunday during advent, or Hector’s mother’s tourtiers (meat pies) on Christmas eve or setting out Mexican luminarias for Las Posadas, repeating traditions from year to year deepens family bonding, creates anticipation and provides opportunities for re-telling the stories that illuminate the heart and soul of the season.

One year after our children were grown, we proposed eliminating a couple of traditions and nearly had a riot on our hands!

Traditions link the past to the present inviting memories and questions while also creating a sense of hopeful anticipation of a future where the legacy will be inherited by a new generation.

C - Celebrate

Celebrate every day. We create our own Advent calendar each year with an activity planned for each day, often tying the activity to a cultural celebration unique to one or more of our family members’ heritage.

Some of the activities are simple, such as reading a particular story, or hanging the stockings. (Stockings are hung on December 6^th, St. Nicholas’ Day, and we also reflect on the lessons we can learn from the life of the original St. Nicholas about giving in secret.

Other activities are more involved, such as shopping for gifts for needy children or going caroling throughout our neighborhood.

With an activity planned for each day, the sense of wonder, excitement and anticipation about this special season grows just as surely as the lights on our advent wreath grow brighter from week to week.

By the end of each Christmas season, like Mary, I have many special moments to ponder in my heart (see Luke 2:19) and I believe that each of my children do as well.

How can you upgrade your Advent celebration by providing opportunities for your children to experience Christmas with all of their senses throughout the season?

Note: Sue shares more of the wonder of the season in her two newly-released Christmas stories, The Christmas Primer, and Umoja—both released by Helping Hands Press.

Sue Badeau is a nationally known speaker, author, and child welfare and trauma expert. Sue and her husband Hector are lifetime parents of twenty-two children—two by birth and twenty adopted. They wrote the book Are We There Yet: The Ultimate Road Trip Adopting and Raising 22 Kids. Learn more about Sue at suebadeau.com and badeaufamily.com.

Graphic image adapted - Image courtesy of digidreamgrafix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Holiday Hoopla at 50+: Making Memories

Deb DeArmond, the co-founder of "My Purpose Now," eagerly encourages women to live for the Lord in their second half of life. This optimistic mid-lifer has a special Holiday UPGRADE for those of us who still want to make a difference at 50+!

“As we get older,” Deb says, “making new memories is more important than ever!"

I (Dawn) am well past 50, and although I might move a little slower these days, my mind is always dreaming up some ways to create fresh family memories. So I appreciate Deb’s perspective.

She continues . . .

Two years ago we did what most people our age don’t do. We upgraded by purchasing a bigger home. We got an extra two bedrooms and another full bath in the deal and traded a small lot for nearly a quarter acre.

Crazy this late in our fifth decade? Maybe. But it’s all part of the plan.

What plan? To make room for more memories.

This year we will be blessed with five little grandboys gathered in our home for the holidays. (They will be bringing their parents along.) A sixth grandson is waiting in the wings, arriving after the New Year. The boys range in age from three months to seven years old.

It’s going to be noisy.

          And messy.

                    And all kinds of wonderful.

I do enjoy watching the kids as they open something special—selected just for them. But the holiday hoopla includes the marketeers working to convince the little ones that “this new thingamajig” is something they can’t live without.

As grandparents, how do we bring balance, with a focus on honoring Christ and enjoying the season in awe of the depth of God’s love for us?

As it says in Proverbs, "A good life gets passed on to the grandchildren . . . " (Proverbs 13:22, The Message).

Several years ago, my hubby and I proposed a new Christmas plan to our sons and daughters-in-law. We concluded we no longer needed anything, wanted anything or had room for anything else in our home.

But just like Jell-O, there’s always more room for memories.

Our suggestion? A shared experience in place of gifts. There were a few raised eyebrows and requests for clarification, but eventually, thumbs up all around.

The first year we rented a mountain cabin where the snow and the crackling fire kept us inside playing games, watching movies and talking. Remember talking? It’s been downgraded thanks to the (anti)social media mania.

The kids skied and we all indulged in a furious snowball fight. We exchanged letters on Christmas morning, each writing a note to the others acknowledging the gifts and gratitude of doing life together. One of the best holidays ever.

Disney was beautiful the next Christmas, and one year we opted for California sunshine. Eventually, the first couple of kiddles joined us as travelers. I wouldn’t trade those trips and the time together for anything.

This year with three babies 18 months and under, plus a very pregnant mama-to-be, travel is not an option. At least not one sane people would choose. So we’ll be making holiday memories with a new flair this year. Here are some tips on how to do that with your tribe.

(1) Turn holiday chores into an event. A baking date with my daughter-in-law, or a tree trimming extravaganza with food and holiday music can make the mundane magic.

(2) Expand holiday traditions to the next generation. The traditional holiday tea with my best friend will include our daughters this year at a lovely public garden. Wrangle the older kids to deliver gifts at a nursing home or sing carols to shut-ins. Dress up the littles in their holiday best and go to a holiday concert.

(3) Select experiences that are new for the entire family. We’re planning a ride on a local version of the Polar Express aboard a restored vintage train. Perhaps a holiday “cook off” with each of the couples taking on a day of the week-long menu plan. Vote for your faves and award “family chef” prize to the winners.

It’s easy to buy a gift. Creating memories might require more imagination, but is worth the effort. Perhaps we can help influence the grandbabies to choose wealth by wanting less stuff and living more life.

As grandparents, we have a responsibility to the next generations so Jesus, not things, becomes the focus.

This year, upgrade to making holiday memories!

Deb DeArmond’s passion is family—not just her own, but the relationships within families in general. Her recent book, Related by Chance, Family by Choice, explores tools and tips to building sound relationships between moms and the girls who marry their sons. Deb and her husband, Ron, live in the Fort Worth area. For more about Deb, visit her “My Purpose Now” site and her "Family Matters" site.

How to Create a Godly Legacy

I’ve been reading Becky Harling’s newsletters for some time now, and find her to be a godly, insightful woman. This post about Upgrading your Legacy isn’t just for grandmas! I appreciate Becky’s perspective on building a legacy now – whatever your age.

“I realize that if I want to leave a godly legacy for those coming up behind me, I need to make intentional choices now,” Becky said.

Those of you who know me (Dawn) will know Becky had me at the word “choices.” Leaving a godly legacy doesn’t just happen.

Becky continues … 

I have found I need to return to these choices often to remind myself of the end goal – leaving a godly legacy.

Choice 1:  Prioritize personal purity.

In other words, don’t allow yourself to engage in “secret sins.” Choose integrity. Let your public life match your private life.

If you’re struggling in a particular area, confess your faults to a close friend or mentor and ask her to hold you accountable. James 5:16 instructs us, “Therefore, confess your sins to each other so that you may be healed.” When you dare to bring others into your struggles, it provides accountability and healing as they pray for you.  

Choice 2: Break the cycle of ungrace.  

A judgmental spirit and bitterness is often passed from one generation to another in families. Think of older people you know who have never forgiven those who have hurt them. They harbor bitterness. I don’t want to be like that!

I have found that I must continually ask the Holy Spirit to cleanse my mind. It’s so easy to hang on to our hurts and build a monument to our personal pain.

Jesus calls us to something entirely different. He commands us to “settle matters quickly” (Matthew 5:25). In other words, learn to let go of your hurts and offer grace instead.

Choice 3:  Commit to sharing the gospel and investing in others.

One of my daughters reminds her four-year-old son, “Jesus first, others second, you last.” That’s a great policy for our lives, isn’t it?  

Practice lifting your focus to God every day in praise, then turn your focus outward to see how you might invest in someone else, and then finally glance inward.

Too often we become obsessed with ourselves and forget that God wants us exalting Him and encouraging others.

Choice 4: Choose praise over complaining.

Whew! That’s tough, isn’t it? It’s so easy to complain even about the small things in life, like the weather, the food we eat, or the clothes we wear.

The Apostle Paul wrote that we should, “Do everything without complaining” (Philippians 2:14).  I fear sometimes that we are so accustomed to complaining that we don’t even realize we’re doing it anymore.

What if we became ruthless with ourselves in the area of complaining? What if the next time we feel like complaining, we start praising God instead? Wow. Imagine how our attitudes would change. Imagine the positive legacy we would leave behind.

What kind of spiritual legacy are you leaving for your children and grandchildren? The people you mentor? Others who are watching your life? What can you do today to insure you leave a godly legacy?

Becky Harling is a sought-after speaker and the author of several books, including Rewriting Your Emotional Script, Freedom from Performing, The 30 Day Praise Challenge and The 30 Day Praise Challenge for Parents. Her degree in biblical literature, and her experience as a missionary, women's ministries director, pastor’s wife and breast cancer survivor, bring depth to her message. She and her husband Steve live in Arvada, Colorado, and they have four grown children and five grandchildren.  

Note: This post is adapted from a Becky Harling Ministries newsletter (6-6-14).