Breathe Life! How to Upgrade Hope

Pam Farrel is a pro when it comes to applying biblical truth to the tough situations of life. In this Relationship UPGRADE, she inspires us to "breathe life" and hope wherever we can.

"God is a specialist at breathing life into seemingly hopeless situations," Pam Farrel says.

And there is the secret. Although Pam is a relationship expert, the best "specialist" in hope is the Lord, and Pam encourages us to tap into that power source.

Pam continues . . .

My grandmother scarred her lungs rushing into a barn on fire to rescue animals. As an elderly woman, she needed her oxygen tank to breathe life into her.

In a similar way, God wants us to be those who breathe life into difficult moments—and sometimes into difficult people!  

The Lord, Himself, is the breath of life:

 “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being”  (Gen 2:7 NKJV).

 “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands.  And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else" (Acts 17:24–25).

God wants us to be more like Him, more of a life-giver.

In Deuteronomy 30:19-20, God’s heart is evident :

"This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob."

This “choose life” principle can be extended to apply to all kinds of situations: the seeming death of a dream, the spiraling downward of the life of someone you love, a business on a decline or in any situation that feels stuck or hopeless.

Seek to breathe life by simply asking:

• What would bring life to this situation?
• What would bring life to this person?
• Who has the skills, talents, time, and/or energy to resuscitate or revive this circumstance (or person) to bring life?

Most recently, our family saw this “life-giver” philosophy change a situation that seemed beyond hopeless.

My father-in-law is 86 and he had fallen. He was being released from a convalescent home, but he was not strong enough to function in his home—and my 86-year-old mother-in-law was too feeble to give the kind of care needed.

We had a full speaking schedule and it is our sole income, and thousands of people in our audiences would be impacted if we cancelled, so it was near impossible for either Bill or me to be the caregiver. (We were willing, but it felt impossible.)

However, we knew both mom and dad would be more comfortable if the caregiver could be someone they already knew.

Our youngest son, Caleb, came to us and said, “I believe God has called me to breathe life into Grandpa’s situation.”

Caleb was a recent graduate from an engineering program, and he had three weeks available to use before moving to another state for his Master’s program. Caleb was football player and had just completed building a block home on the mission field—so he was strong enough to carry his grandfather. Also, because Bill’s father was an aerospace engineer, the two already had much in common.  

Caleb moved in, was trained by all the health care professionals, and began to rehab his grandfather. In addition, those two engineers redesigned doorways and gates, a patio, a desk and a wheelchair to make them more user-friendly for Dad. 

Caleb is such a workhorse that when he wasn’t caring for grandpa, he rebuilt the patio, a ramp, a gate and several other areas of their home to help give Dad independence and access.

In just two weeks, Dad went from what appeared to be death’s door, to stronger mentally and physically than we had seen him function in several decades.

Caleb breathed vibrant life into the situation!

Who can you breathe life into today?

Pam Farrel is the author of 45 books, an international speaker, and relationship expert who seeks to breathe life into people’s most vital relationships through the ministry she runs with her husband, Love-Wise. Today’s blog is adapted from her newest book, 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman: Success At Keeping It All Together.

Graphic: adapted, courtesy of Jan Schultz, Webdesigner Stuttgart, Unsplash.

The 3 R's You Need to Rid Fear

Bible teacher Debbie Wilson regularly speaks and writes to help people develop refreshing faith. In this Attitude and Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she describes three ways to remove fear from our lives.

Debbie says, “I had a supervisor who once said, ‘If the devil can’t steal your victory he’ll try to steal your joy.’”

Yes, I (Dawn) agree. Our enemy is a liar—we know that from scripture (John 8:44)—but he's also a thief and destroyer of anything good (John 10:10a).

Debbie continues . . . 

I’ve found my supervisor's words to be true.

My surgery had gone without a hitch. The mass my doctor was so worried about was benign. You’d think that would quiet all my concerns. But new ones darkened my slumber.

I awoke to a fierce struggle in my mind.

Two phone conversations and a YouTube video, the week following surgery, had sown seeds of doubt about my decision to keep my healthy organs. My doubts sprouted into suffocating fear during my sleep.

The video had popped up, ironically, after I’d finished watching one on prayer. In it, Angelina Jolie told how her doctor had begged her, with tears, to remove her ovaries. In my sleep, these women’s fears became my own. Had I been wrong to keep my healthy ovary?

What types of fear threaten your peace? With all that is going on in our world, there are plenty to choose from. Reason wasn’t enough to conquer mine. Let me explain how God rescued me and how to quiet your own unease.

Three R’s to Remove Fear:

1. Recognize the source. 

“God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Tim. 1:7 ESV).

My doubt had to be a dart.

Even in my sleep I recognized its destructive nature. What could I do about my decision now? Surgery was over. (Read more about how to recognize DARTS here.) 

2. Remember God’s character. 

"Which one of you, if his son asks him for…a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:9-11 ESV)

I’d asked God to guide me as I researched and prayed about my decision before my surgery. His leading had been consistent. Was I to believe that God had intentionally withheld the information I needed until it was too late?

This doubt slandered God’s very nature.

3. Refresh your faith.

Faith—not reason—is the antidote to fear.

Faith comes from hearing the word of Christ (see Romans 10:17). In the wilderness, Israel had to gather fresh manna every morning. Leftovers rotted overnight. Our faith also needs daily renewal.

That morning God led me to the first chapter of Joshua:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9 NIV).

I’d never noticed the connection between the first and second part of this verse before. This was a command!

God had appointed Joshua to lead Israel into the Promised Land. How could he help his brothers enter God’s rest if fear and discouragement held him hostage?

God has commissioned us to be His ambassadors and shine as lights in a dark world. How can we shine the light of Jesus when our hearts are clouded with worry? How can we show people the Prince of Peace if anxiety rules us?

While I’ve often wished for a dial to modulate my emotions—dial up courage, joy, or hope as needed—God’s way is higher. He’d rather me be strong in Him than feel strong in myself.

God used my fear to remind me He is with me. Those who know Jesus need never stay in fear and discouragement.

How has God used fear to strengthen your walk with Him?

Debbie W. Wilson—drawing from her personal walk with Christ, 24 years as a Christian counselor and decades as a Bible teacher—speaks and writes to help people discover relevant faith. She is the author of Little Women, Big God and Give Yourself a Break. Share Debbie's journey to refreshing faith at her blog.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Morguefile.

Taking Care of Yourself as a Leader

Nali Hilderman teaches women in a biblical framework, and in this Leadership UPGRADE she encourages women in leadership to take time to rest and refuel.

“While leadership can be incredibly life-giving and exciting," Nali says, "there are times when it is draining and exhausting too.”

Oh Nali. That is so true. Leadership can be a blessing and a burden at the same time. The Lord calls us to be wise in balancing our schedules—to build our lives, not just the lives of others.

Nali continues . . . 

As a leader, are you weary? If you’re anything like most other leaders, I would venture to say that your answer is yes! 

While leadership can be incredibly life-giving and exciting, there are times when it is draining and exhausting too. It’s the excitement of influencing others and utilizing your gifts that make leadership worth it in the long run, but what do you do when you find yourself in those seasons of weariness?

And how can we work at preventing those seasons? 

It may seem selfish or counter-productive to do this, but Christ, the perfect leader, provided an example of this during His ministry when He left the crowds to spent time with the Father or just the disciples (Luke 4:42, 5:16; John 13). And He encourages us plainly to come to Him when we are tired and weary so He can help us (Matthew 11:28-29)!

Therefore, I want to suggest three ways to take care of yourself as a leader so you can continue to be effective in loving and serving others.

1. Participate in Life-Giving Activities

Most of us have activities that bring us deep joy and provide “soul time” that are not related to our work as leaders. It may be exercise, art, reading, spending time in nature, napping, cooking, taking a bubble bath – or any number of things!

Sometimes our schedules are so busy that we feel like we don’t have time to do anything but what’s already on the calendar, but if we are to continually pour into others throughout our day, we must find time to participate in activities that provide respite for our soul.

I challenge you to discover these areas and set aside time in your calendar to participate in them!

2. Find Others That Pour Into You

As a leader, you are probably constantly pouring into others around you. This is usually very life-giving and one of the main reasons we get involved in leadership in the first place, but, do you have someone pouring into you? Do you have a mentor? Do you have friends, or a small group of people that you do not “lead” that refresh and revitalize you and care for your soul? 

This is absolutely vital as a leader to have others lead and guide you so that you are refueled to lead and guide others. 

Scripture is full of examples of the life-giving nature of the body of Christ. See, for example, the relationship between the Apostle Paul and Timothy as Paul instructs, encourages and mentors the young minister in Ephesus (1 Timothy 1; 2 Timothy 1). I encourage you, likewise, to seek out and spend time with these vital care givers in your life on a regular basis.

3. Find Sustenance from the Lord

For many of us who are leaders in Christian ministry, there’s a tendency to always “do ministry”—even in our personal time with the Lord.

As a leader, it is vital that you protect your time with the Lord as just that – YOUR time with the Lord.

Make sure that you are abiding in Christ for yourself, not your ministry, for apart from Him we can do nothing (John 15:5). 

And the Word says that if we seek Him and His Kingdom first (Matthew 6:33), then all other things shall be added to us. How is your time alone with Christ? 

How’s your weariness level? How are you doing in taking care of yourself regarding to these three areas? Making sure you take care of yourself is vital to continuing to love and care for others as Christ has commissioned you!

Nali Hilderman is a professor of American history at San Diego Christian College and Director of the college’s Dr. Henry Morris Leadership Program. She studies women’s history and Christian theology, trying to make sense of how to be a confident, successful Christian woman who does not buy into the secular feminist mentality. She attends Journey Community Church in La Mesa, CA.

Graphic of woman in nature, courtesy of Morguefile.

Trying Too Hard vs. Enjoying Good Enough

I can't tell you how many time the wise counsel from Joan C. Webb has resonated with my heart. We are kindred spirits. In this Attitude and Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she tackles the unhealthy thinking that surrounds "perfectionistic thinking," even in the church.

"Tired after an extra-long work day, Richard and I decided to eat a simple dinner at home—by candlelight," Joan says. "I rested while he cleaned up. Then it happened!"

I (Dawn) often feel dog-tired, collapsing after a long day. Are you struggling with weariness too? Let's pay close attention to Joan's wise counsel.

Joan continues . . .

After our intentionally relaxing evening, the phone rang. Rushing to answer it, we inadvertently knocked over the burning candle. It flew, hit the piano, landing on the carpet. We spent two hours cleaning up globs of wax.

“How stupid!” Richard muttered. Previously I might have agreed.

This time I smiled inside.

I don’t buy that. It was an awkward situation, but no one or no thing is stupid because of it.

Perhaps like me, you may have at times believed that everything is either perfectly wonderful as you envision it should be or totally botched-up.

But the truth is that joy and fun can mix with mistakes and disappointment.

There is a fundamental difference between trying too hard to make it (someone, or something) “just right” and partnering with God for excellence.

I found relief as I began to understand these two underlying principles.

So how do you know when you’re trying too hard to make it “just right,” and what can you do about it?

1. Our culture focuses primarily on doing and it has led to an action-addiction epidemic. It’s wearing us out.

Pursue being first and doing will follow.

You and I have the joy of partnering with the Ultimate Being—the Great “I AM”, allowing Him to show us who we are and what He’s designed us to do (Ephesians 2:10).

2. Are you trying to avoid someone else’s disapproval? Or are you playing the comparison game?

You can let yourself off the guilt-hook: You don’t have to be the best mother, wife, worker, friend, or Christian compared to others.

You get to be the best version of yourself—the person God created you to be.

This is doable and reasonable.

3. When you get caught in the “trying too hard to make it just right” gerbil wheel, you may succumb to black and white thinking: It’s all good or all bad.

When you feel stuck, STOP.

Pause.

Make an intentional choice to think not in black and white, but in your favorite color. It is in this place that options, ideas, and freedom are found.

4. Pause and listen to your self-talk.

A mentee recently told me that she has a “Hitler-Type Bully” in her head. Listen for the “I should...," "I must...," "I have to..." demands you silently make on yourself.

This is not how God’s Spirit guides you.

With His loving and gentle guidance, you can change your self-chat. Ask a safe mentor, coach or counselor to help you stay committed to this new way of thinking.

I do believe there is an epidemic of this kind of “perfectionistic thinking.” It seems to be a tactic of the enemy. He wants to keep us overly-busy and exhausted, because when we are we become vulnerable to the subtle “trying too hard” misbeliefs mentioned above.

This hinders the kingdom-work God wants to do through us and the enemy is pleased.

For those of you—and it includes me—who have a tendency to over-try to make things “just right" and then get bone-tired, what one small choice will help you enjoy “good enough” this week?

Go ahead. It is okay with God.

He’s not trying to make it harder for you. He wants to lighten your load (Matthew 11:29-30).

For more about the difference between “trying too hard” and “partnering with God for excellence,” see Joan's free resource.

Joan C. Webb is a speaker and author who has written thirteen books including The Relief of Imperfection: For Women Who Try Too Hard to Make It Just Right, The Intentional Woman and a devotion titled, It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life. As a Life Coach who specializes in working with writers and communicators, Joan helps set people free to become who they were designed to be and from what holds them back. For more information about her books, services and teaching, visit www.joancwebb.com.

Your Roots Are Showing!

In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, Dawn Wilson is not talking about hair roots showing and in need of coloring. She says, "Far more important than hair roots are our spiritual roots, and they do show!"

The story is told of a tree in California called the Dyerville Giant. According to Elliott Almond in the San Jose Mercury News (June 18, 2001), in 1991, after growing tall for more than 1,500 years, the 370-foot tree fell over. (You can see a photo here.)

It didn't fall because of a storm. It simply fell because its root system was no longer healthy. As its weakened root system failed, it could no longer anchor into the soil or receive much-needed nourishment. Top heavy but not grounded, it couldn't support its own weight. *

If we don't want to "fall," we need healthy roots too.

Healthy spiritual roots are made up of many things:

• A relationship with the Creator, the maker of all life;
• Grounding—strong convictions—in the fertile soil of the Word of God;
• Resilience developed through wise interactions with people; and
• Strength built in struggles and trials (tough circumstances).

Let's look at each of those individually.

1. We need to be rooted properly.

We need to be rooted in the right place ... more specifically, in the right Person!

"Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him ... (Colossians 2:6-7a, ESV).

We need to "abide" in the Lord (John 15:4) so we can be healthy and bear fruit.

2. We need to be grounded in faith.

Our faith must be in the Word of God so we will be established. This will not only bring us a sense of gratitude and well-being (healthy attitudes), but it will also help us not fall into various "religious" and cultural lies that could destroy our walk with God.

"... and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving. See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition..." (Colossians 2:7b-8a, ESV).

3. We need to be "tended" with love.

Roots must be protected with good soil, water and nutrients.

Likewise, through wise interactions with godly people and accountability, our lives are "tended"—protected and cared for—much like we care for a plant and nurture it.

It helps to have "a multitude" of wise counselors (Proverbs 15:22) and encouragers so we can learn from them and develop the resilience necessary to weather life's storms.

"... encourage one another and build one another up..." (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

4. We need to grow stronger.

Have you ever seen a plant grow in the cracks between slabs of cement, or protrude through a brick wall? That's a picture of how we need to be persistent in difficult circumstances—relying on the Lord and believing He has great purpose for us in hard times (Romans 8:28).

We build strength (and a lot of other wonderful qualities) as we struggle through the trials of life (1 Peter 1:6-9).

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4, ESV).

What I've discovered in life is this: my "roots" show to a watching world.

When I go through tough times, people learn pretty quickly where my foundations lie. They see whether I am grounded and strong.

And your roots are showing too!

Let's make sure our roots are healthy in the Lord and His Word, well tended and growing stronger each day.

Which of the four necessities for healthy spiritual roots might need some tender loving care in your life today?

Dawn Wilson, founder of Heart Choices Today and Upgrade with Dawn, is a contracted researcher for Revive Our Hearts. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

* The Dyerville Giant tree story was related by Barbara L. Roose in Enough Already (Abingdon Press), p. 109; See also news report.