God's Road Map for Woman

Morgan Farr is a young mom with many talents, but I'm most impressed with how she grew into a fresh understanding of womanhood—and how she shares it with others. In this Biblical Womanhood UPGRADE, she invites us to think carefully about who we are.

"Navigating the societal expectations for women can seem a lot like tightrope walking. One wrong step and you’re done," Morgan says. "Thankfully God laid out a road map for us long before we knew we needed it."

I (Dawn) appreciate this strong perspective, but I know this is also true: sometimes we're not willing to "see" and study the map because we don't like the destination. I'm grateful for Morgan's biblical stance.

Morgan continues . . .  

Anything involving women, let alone biblical womanhood, is a touchy subject in today’s world.

Feminism and its proponents shriek about equality and how oppressed everyone is, while simultaneously trying to force us to believe and follow their mantra. 

I read recently about a college that now recognizes 23 different gender identities, so that no one feels left out. Apparently calling someone female who doesn’t feel female is oppressing. If we do that, we are trying to keep her down.

Back when I was in college there were only two; male and female. And I believe that—despite what media may tell us—that is still true.

Even a quick glance through the Bible will show you the following three things.

1) We were made male and female, in the image of God.

The reality is, “God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27). When He created each one of us, He knew exactly what He was doing.

There is no third, fourth, or fifth sex. There is male and female, period.

2) Not all women are called to do the same things.

We live in a world that celebrates androgyny. Little girls can’t play with dolls and tea set while little boys can not play with trucks and toys guns or we are forcing gender stereotypes on them.

Let me tell you from experience: even if you gave a little boy a doll, he will turn it into a “gun”. Boys are hardwired to provide and protect. Girls are hardwired to love and nurture.

This doesn’t mean women need to be "barefoot and pregnant" in the kitchen all their lives. God does call some women to extraordinary things. Look at Deborah in the Bible. Her story is awesome! But we are not all called to be Deborahs. Some of us are called to be a Mary, Anna or Ruth. And that is ok.

As long as each woman is closely seeking after God’s heart her purpose in life will become clear. That may mean running a Fortune 500 company. That may mean serving your family in love daily. That is between each woman and God.

3) Women are not second-class citizens.

Women are not to be ashamed of being female. We were designed specifically by God to be the helpmate of man.

We live in a fallen world, and as such, people sin. Throughout history women have not been treated as equals—not because God is mean, but because man sins. The Bible is very clear that men are to “love their wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). He designed us for His glory.

We are the exact match to man’s job of glorifying God. While man does it through sacrifice, we do it through submission.

Christ submitted to His Father and died on the cross for our sins. Both are necessary to show the true magnitude of Christ’s death for our sins, a debt we could never have paid on our own.

Don’t give up on being the woman that God has called you to be. Stand firm in your faith and fulfil the role that God made you for, whatever that may be.

How can you better follow God's road map for women today?

Morgan Farr is an Army wife currently stationed at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, with her wonderful husband Brian and their sons, William and Henry. Morgan is a homemaker who dedicates her free time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one interactions and physical training. She writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood on her blog, The Forgiven Former Feminist. You can find her thoughts on fitness, C-Section recovery, and training programs on her other blog, Farr Functional Fitness.

Summertime

I asked Kathy Carlton Willis to write a summertime post for UPGRADE, and she reminded me of the old song we belt out: “Summertime, and the livin’ is easy.”

“Ever wish you could play hooky from everyday life?” Kathy asks.

Hooky? Yes, I (Dawn) need some hooky time! Responsibilities are great and I'm not a shirker. But there comes a time ...

Kathy continues . . .

Little Johnny tossed a water balloon at Billy. A normal reaction from the teacher would be to reprimand Johnny, but this was not a normal day.

Miss Jones cheered from the sidelines. Billy fell to the ground with laughter. The boys high-fived each other, and the next team lined up to enjoy this fun in the sun.

Outdoor activities commonly end the school year because kids are antsy during regular teaching sessions. Aware of this, teachers plan field trips and outdoor activities. And when they don’t, the students daydream of playing hooky.

Well, school has been out for a while, but I feel like those students.

I also have a bit of wanderlust going on. It is difficult to concentrate. Maybe because vacations are often scheduled for June, July, and August, my daydreamer is programmed to go into overdrive during these months. We long to take the pressure off and just live.

No matter what our plans include, I hope we all plan to keep God in our days. God makes everything seem better. The sky is bluer and the grass is greener.

As we focus on His goodness we have a better perspective on life. And with a keen awareness of His presence, we realize we don’t have to face anything alone.

The Creator of summer creates a sense of freedom in our hearts when we trust in Him.

The best promise of all is that even when we take a break from our everyday humdrum lives, God never takes a break.

“He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps” (Psalm 121:3-4, NLT).

Most of us are not Israelites, but the concept holds true for New Testament Christians as well. Our God is an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent God who is fully capable of being a vital part of His creation without the need of a vacation.

But for me—I hear a nap calling.

How to Make the Most of Summer:

• Refresh and recharge so you’re geared up for fall.
• Spend some time evaluating your 2016 goals, and redirect any that need a new focus.
• Truly rest, in every sense of the word, not merely physical rest.
• If you’ve gotten off track, recommit to your purpose, with a new drive to motivate you on your journey.
• Soak in God’s nature and allow extra time with Him and His creation to rejuvenate you.

A special summertime prayer:

Lord, thank You for the seasons You created for us to enjoy: for the warmth of summer, the fresh smell of flowers and the sun-kissed cheeks of children. I’m blessed to see Your handiwork all around me—You’re never sleeping or taking a break—but always keeping watch over me. Thank You!

What is one thing you look forward to this summer?

Kathy Carlton Willis enjoys fiddling with words as writer's coach and marketing pro at KCW Communications and founded WordGirls for Christian female writers. She’s published in multiple books, magazines and online publications. Kathy gets jazzed inspiring others to have their own lightbulb moments and shines, whether she's spotlighting God's writers and speakers, or reflecting God's light during her speaking events. Kathy wrote Speaker to Speaker: The Essential Speaker’s Companion and Grin with Grace. Discover more about Kathy at her website.

Heroes at Home - Fighting for Financial Freedom

Today, we have a special guest blogger, Ellie Kay, who is the founder of Heroes at Home, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to helping military families and all Americans find financial freedom. 

"How would you like to live debt free?" Ellie asks. "Even as we celebrate Independence Day and the men and women who keep our nation stay free, we also can become financially free."

I (Dawn) believe there are many kinds of freedom we can experience as members of the family of God. Financial freedom is one kind of freedom that can affect your family, career and even how you give to ministy! God wants you to be a wise, intentional and cheerful giver (Proverbs 21:20a; 2 Corinthians 9:7), and one way to do that is to operate out of financial freedom!

Ellie continues . . .

In my work helping service members with financial readiness, there are tips that apply to everyone.

1. Credit Credibility

No matter what your financial picture is, it’s critical for every person to improve her own FICO (Fair Isaac Credit Scores). These scores determine not only the APR you pay on a home or car loan, but they also impact auto insurance premiums, whether you’ll get the promotion or the job (many employers check FICOS), whether you pay a security deposit for utilities, and much more.

You can go to Credit.com to check your score and they’ll even give you specific ways to improve each area of your credit score.

You can improve your FICO in three easy steps:

• Pay early – Set up automatic payments online so you will never be late.
• Pay More - Add $5 to $10 more than the minimum balance that is due; this indicates you are paying down debt.
• Pay Proportionally – Also known as credit utilization—make sure you don’t have more than 30% of the available credit charged on any one card at any time. For example, a card with a $5000 limit should never have more than $1500 charged.

2. Savings Savvy

It only takes 15 minutes to save hundreds of dollars! Once you save money in one area, use those funds to pay down consumer debt or to build up a savings account.

• Auto Insurance – Once a year, compare policies by getting a variety of quotes. Take the cheaper price back to your existing provider and tell them you will switch companies unless they can match the price. (Be sure to check out quotes from USAA.com if you are military and qualify to be a member.)
• RetailMeNot – If you have a smart phone, download the RetailMeNot app or bookmark it on your computer. This is a code site that offers 400,000 coupon codes at any given time. Just enter the store’s name and you’ll see all the codes to get the better prices. Use this on entertainment, travel, electronics and any kind of online shopping or in the mall.
• CouponMom.com – I was one of the original extreme couponers and it’s served me well all these years. If you go to this site, she’s done all the work for you and will tell you what is on sale in your neighborhood, what codes are available, what coupons are out for the item and which stores double coupons. I calculated that over the course of twenty years, I saved our family over 160K!  

3. Debt Deal Dilemma

With a slow economy comes an influx of those who want to "help" prepare you for the worse by consolidating your debt. However, most “for profit” debt-counseling companies charge a hefty fee for their services, which is usually tacked onto your debt load.

Instead, go to the National Consumer Credit Counseling Service at www.nfcc.org and use their free services.

4. Budget Baby

If you don't have a budget—as part of your lifestyle—then yesterday was the day to start! Set one up with online budgeting tools, found at mint.

The problem for a lot of families is not having a budget, it’s sticking to a budget.

Set up a “budget date” once a month with your spouse to revisit how the plan is working.

This kind of regular accountability works as well in finances as it does in Weight Watchers. When you know there will be someone asking you why you bought that purple mohair sweater for $198, you’re less likely to give into the impulse to go off budget.

Can you celebrate your "Financial Freedom" today? If not, which of Ellie's tips might help you claim your independence?

A special JULY 4^th note:

During this time of the year, be sure to thank those heroes at Heroes at Home ... thank them for their service. [For more information on where Ellie Kay’s Heroes at Home is visiting next, explore their website at HeroesAtHome.org.]

Ellie Kay is the best-selling author of fifteen books including Lean Body, Fat Wallet, and Heroes at Home. She is a Toastmaster Accredited Speaker as well as a popular international speaker and media veteran who has given over1,200 media interviews including appearances on ABC, CNBC, CNN and Fox News. As a popular columnist, she writes for six national magazines and has been a Subject Matter Expert for the Wall Street Journal, New York Times and Washington Post. Currently, Ellie provides financial education to military members through her “Heroes at Home Financial Event” sponsored for USAA. Ellie is married to LTC Bob Kay and they have seven children. 

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Morguefile.

3 Falls to Consider

In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, Dawn Wilson suggests how considering three "falls" can help us grow in our relationship to the Lord.

We don't have to look far in our culture, and even in the church, to see the consequences of The Fall in the Garden of Eden; but there are two other "falls" that can have consequences—good ones—in our lives too.

1. The Fall of All Falls

Everything God made—man and woman, animals, plant life, the universe—was "very good," according to Genesis 1:31. Yet Adam and Eve doubted God's goodness and questioned His Word. They listened to the lie of the serpent. And it was a great fall (Genesis 3:1-24).

In "Lessons from the Fall," W. Phillips wrote, "... the serpent offered an alternative interpretation of God's motives" and called into question God's character and trustworthiness. The serpent "reduced God's Word to the level of a mere viewpoint," Phillips wrote, "while man became the measure of what is 'true for me'."

As a result, Eve deliberately decided to defy and disobey God's command (verse 6).

We see this same outworking of The Fall in mankind today.

Man questions God's Word and substitutes personal truth for God's Truth.

Because of The Fall, there are four truths still in effect today:

• What God says (God's Word) is still our measure for holiness. It's our standard for knowing and obeying the Lord and rightly relating to Him (1 Corinthians 15:45), not our viewpoints or some new standards we create.
• We still have a terrible sin problem. It's not what happened to us in our environment at any stage of life. (Even in a perfect environment, we still choose to sin.) Sin brings "death"—spiritual separation from God (Isaiah 59:2; Romans 5:12).
• Suffering is still an awful result of The Fall. Sin led to all the suffering in the past, and is at the root suffering we see today (Romans 8:20-22).
• Our only hope, our only solution, is still Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 15:22).
  

And that brings me to the second "fall."

2. Our Need to "Fall" before the Cross

When Adam and Eve sinned, God provided the means for rescue. Genesis 3:15—known as the "protoevangelium" (first gospel)—is God's promise of the time when Satan (the serpent, see Revelation 12:9) would be crushed by "the seed of the woman," a future savior. Many Bible teachers consider this a direct reference to Jesus.

Just as Adam represented all mankind, and sin brought death, in Christ—the believer's representative head—brings life (1 Corinthians 15:22). Galatians 2:20 says we were "crucified" with Christ ... and it's not our life we enjoy now, but His!

Life from death. Old Testament saints looked forward to that redemption; and believers today look back to the cross.

I say we must "fall" at the cross, because coming to Christ takes the true humility, the bowing of our hearts before Him. We acknowledge we have "gone astray," turning to our own way (Isaiah 53:6). We admit our understanding is "darkened" and our hearts are hard (Ephesians 4:18).

God calls us to fall before Him (in our heart, if not our body) in repentance and faith (Acts 11:18; 2 Peter 3:9; 2 Corinthians 7:10; John 3:16; Romans 10:9-13).

Falling at the cross means fully embracing God's amazing grace.

In the words of an old hymn:

Upon that cross of Jesus Mine eye at times can see
The very dying form of One, Who suffered there for me;
And from my smitten heart, with tears, Two wonders I confess,
The wonders of His glorious love, And my own worthlessness.

I remember well the night I more fully understood what Jesus had done for me. I fell to the floor and wept ... and arose from that solemn time smiling with new-found joy, so grateful for the grace of the Lord.

It's once-and-forever salvation. But that doesn't mean we're never broken over our sin again.

3. Fallings of Surrender.

There have been many "fallings" since that evening I fell "Beneath the Cross of Jesus." These are the fallings of surrender—of giving up, letting go.

It is the choice to die, like a seed falling to the ground and "dying" so God can bring forth a great harvest (John 12:24). It is the choice to yield my rights to my Lord.

Falling in surrender involves acknowledging weakness. It is dying to self-suffiiency too. It says, "In me dwells no good thing" apart from Christ (Romans 7:18), and without Him, I "can do nothing" (John 15:5). It's for broken people who know we can't handle everything, in spite of our silly attempts to prove we can.

Falling in surrender is radical self-denial—losing our life for Jesus' sake (Matthew 16:25).

Surrender is not an option for true disciples. But, and it's not surprising, this is the "fall" many reject. Our entire culture promotes self-effort and self-sufficiency. We recoil from showing weakness and admitting needs.

Surrender is often equated with failure, because our definition of success is skewed.

Yet Jesus still invites us to fall in surrender, because He knows that's where the miracles of life happen. That's where we yield to His control, where He moves in, and where He begins to use and bless us.

We want abundant life. It all begins with our recognition of sin, our receiving of the Savior, and our relinquishment of our weakness to His great strength.

In Christ, we're given life and then continuing abundance as we fall before Him in sweet surrender—resting in His grace.

When you consider the three falls, what does the Spirit of God speak to your soul?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), andUpgrade with Dawn. She is contracted researcher for Revive Our Hearts. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

When Forgiveness Seems Impossible

In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, Yvonne Ortega addresses a crucial area in our walk with the Lord: forgiveness when it's hard and seems so impossible.

"For seven and a half years, I struggled to forgive an abusive former husband," Yvonne says. "I stomped and cried. Why should I forgive him? He didn’t ask for forgiveness, and he didn’t apologize. "

Oh, have I (Dawn) been there. I struggled with forgiving an abuser. For a long time, I resisted. So I know what Yvonne writes is true!

Yvonne continues . . .

Perhaps you wonder how I managed to forgive him. It wasn’t easy.

Here are three tips to forgive, especially when forgiveness is difficult.

1. I realized forgiveness is for my PHYSICAL health.

When I was filled with anger, bitterness and rage, I didn’t sleep well. I was tired most of the time. My lower back hurt, and I didn’t eat well either. My problems with digestion were so bad that I lost 20 pounds. I looked like a bag of bones—pale, thin, and tired.

I thought about 1 Corinthians 3:16 (NIV) which says: “Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s spirit dwells in you?”

I had to take better care of God’s temple.

What will you do to take care of your physical health?

2. I realized forgiveness is for my EMOTIONAL health.

I was caught up in an emotional prison of unforgiveness. Instead of thinking about how to improve my life, I went over and over the terrible things my ex-husband said and did to me and our son. That left me depressed.

I was fearful that he would repeat his behavior whenever we saw him or our son visited him. That made me anxious.

Philippians 4:8 (NIV) gave me a different perspective. It says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

What about you? Is your mind shackled to someone who hurt you? Does that leave you depressed, fearful, or anxious? 

3. I realized forgiveness is also for my SPIRITUAL health.

I ignored God’s command to forgive my ex-husband and that unforgiveness broke my spiritual communion with my heavenly Father.

My prayers weren’t prayers, but pleas for revenge.

I asked God to get him good and let me live to see it. When I read the Bible, it was to find a reason or an excuse not to forgive. My Bible study and prayer life deteriorated. So did my church fellowship.

Colossians 3:13 (NIV) says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

God had forgiven me thousands of times. Now I had to forgive as the Lord forgave me and get close to God again.

Are you as close to God as you once were? How thick is the wall that separates you from spiritual communion with him? How is your disobedience affecting your prayer life, Bible study, and church fellowship?

Today I have peace, freedom and a full life.

The Lord blesses me with peace (Psalm 29:11), and I am free in Christ, no longer burdened by a yoke of slavery to unforgiveness (Galatians 5:1). I’m living the abundant life Jesus came to earth to give me (John 10:10b). 

Will you forgive for your physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing?

Yvonne Ortega is a professional speaker, author, licensed professional counselor, World Class Speaking Coach, and the author of the newly-released Moving from Broken to Beautiful® through Forgiveness—available at Amazon.com along with two other books: Moving from Broken to Beautiful: 9 Life Lessons to Help You Move Forward, and Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer. Yvonne has not only survived but thrived after a domestic violence marriage, breast cancer, and the death of her only child. With honesty and humor, she uses personal examples and the truths of the Bible to help women move from broken to beautiful. Visit www.yvonneortega.com.