Survive Life's Firestorms (without Smelling Like Smoke)

Joanie Shawhan knows about life's firestorms. As a nurse, she's seen people shaken by their struggles, and she's also survived her own trials. In this helpful Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she shares crucial steps to survival.

“A firestorm blasted my world,” Joanie says. “I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.”

I (Dawn) haven't had to face that—you likely haven't either—but there's no doubt you've gone through a personal firestorm, or you will. Let Joanie's words encourage you.

Joanie continues . . .

Firestorms—those unexpected, devastating losses that disrupt our lives. It may be the loss of a loved one, health, job, home or dream. The derailment may be temporary or have lasting effects.

How do we not only survive but also overcome these catastrophes?

During the ovarian cancer firestorm in my life, I discovered three steps to survival based on the fire safety principles of stop, drop and roll. But how do we rise out of the ashes without smelling like smoke? Hence the fourth step—rise.

1. STOP

When a firestorm erupts, our daily activities halt. All of our energy, strength and resources shift into crisis mode.

After an ultrasound for what I thought was a uterine fibroid, my doctor strode into the room and announced, “You have ovarian cancer.”

I froze. Surely this isn’t happening to me. Surgery and chemotherapy consumed me for the next six months. Cancer threatened my health, my job and my future.

When all I had was questions, I found I also needed to stop and listen to the One who had the answers.

2. DROP

Smoke rises in a fire so we drop to the ground. The air is fresher, our visibility clearer.

So too, in a life firestorm we drop to our knees in surrender and prayer, seeking God, humbling ourselves before Him. Our sacrifice of praise and worship mingles with our tears.

As I wrestled with the Lord about going through chemotherapy and sought His direction for my treatment, I sensed His voice whispering, “Go through the process.” The Holy Spirit strengthened me to endure the treatments—treatments which were worse than the cancer itself. I could not even focus to pray and read my Bible.

All I could do was drop into my Father’s arms like a child and cry for mercy.

3. ROLL

We roll to douse any lingering flames.

In a life firestorm, the flames of anger, bitterness and unforgiveness will cloud our vision and scorch our lives.

As we draw near to the Lord, we roll our cares onto Him: our pain, grief, anger, fears, doubts, loss and loved ones.

We stretch forth our hands, grasping for a reason. “Why? Why? Why?” But the answers slip through our fingers like a vapor.

I don’t know why I got ovarian cancer, the rarest and most deadly of female cancers. But I needed to allow my desire for answers to be extinguished with the flames.

4. RISE

God desires not only to raise us up out of the ashes of our brokenness, but also give us beauty for the ashes (Isaiah 61:1-3).

Through thanksgiving and praise, we shake off the ashes and exchange the lingering smell of smoke for the fragrance of Christ.

We recognize that all we are comes from Him. We reflect His glory.

I lost myself to ovarian cancer, but in losing myself, I found a new purpose and calling in my life—to write encouraging articles for women undergoing chemotherapy and advocate for and educate women regarding ovarian cancer.

Because of God’s power we are able to come through the firestorms in our lives without smelling like smoke.

But surviving a firestorm does not imply that everything is “all better” and the wound is healed.

Some heartbreaks and losses permanently char us.

True triumph is not a return to life before the firestorm, but a heart attitude—is God still God despite my pain and loss?

If so, then we will be able to proclaim, along with Job, “I know that my redeemer lives” (Job 19:25 NKJV).

How has God brought you through the firestorms in your life?

Joanie Shawhan is an ovarian cancer survivor and a registered nurse. She writes encouraging articles for women undergoing chemotherapy. Joanie also speaks to medical students in the Survivors Teaching Students program. Visit her website.

Graphic adapted, courtesty of ZoranD at Pixabay.

A New Year's Resolution Makeover

Nali Hilderman is a smart, successful college professor, but she knows how to make truth practical. In this New Year's UPGRADE, she points us to seek God and allow scripture to speak to our hearts.

"As we turn our thoughts from the outgoing year and focus on the new," Nali says, "I propose we have a makeover in any resolutions we make for the New Year."

Nali's suggestion intrigues me (Dawn), because I've made many resolutions over my lifetime, and so few of them lasted. Maybe a "makeover" is exactly what I need.

Nali continues . . .

As women most of us tend to enjoy the idea of a makeover. Be it a make-up facial, a weight-loss plan, or someone cleaning or organizing our house, we love the idea of a new, fresh perspective on something ordinary. 

I don’t know where the tradition of New Year’s resolutions began, but it seems that most of the time they tend to focus on us and what we want out of life. 

I do not necessarily think that is a bad thing, but as believers, we don’t live life solely for ourselves— WE live life for the Lord! 

What if, this year, you turn your focus to Christ and ask Him for His resolutions for your life instead of your own resolutions! 

I have been doing this for about five years now and it’s been amazing to see how each year has had a God-ordained theme to it. 

For 2016, the word that kept coming to my heart and mind in prayer was “rest.” For the first several months, I assumed that it meant I needed to rest physically and emotionally from a very busy and fulfilling job as a professor. 

Yet, as the months of the year progressed and God walked me through some painful personal and family issues, I realized His notion of rest was much deeper than I thought. Over the past several months, I was invited into a deep, soul-level rest of the knowledge of who Christ has made me to be and to find my identity in Him. 

This theme has challenged and guided me as I’ve navigated things this year. I know I am different now for it, and am grateful to see His hand at work.

I am excited for YOU to try this New Year’s Resolution plan. Here are a couple of simple suggestions on how to do this:

1. Remember God as your "Ebenezer."

In the Old Testament, God was Israel’s Ebenezer. Ebenezer means "stone of help." 

God commanded the leaders of Israel, through Samuel, to set up memorial stones in public places to commemorate how God had provided for and rescued the children of Israel (see 1 Samuel 7, especially verse 12). 

Take time to think about and write down how God provided for and blessed you LAST year.

A joyful and grateful heart for God’s blessings in 2016 will go a long way towards seeing Him as protector and provider in the New Year. 

2. Make time for a Retreat and ask the Lord for goals for the New Year.

This does not have to be a “long” retreat; even just a few hours of concentrated time will suffice. But think through and ask what things the Lord might have for you in the coming months and year. 

Ask if there are any passages of Scripture that might serve as a guide. This can provide a clear vision for how you are to invest your time, finances, resources and energy—and is usually far more exciting than “spend two hours at the gym every day”!  

You can do this for yourself personally, but you might also want to try doing this with your spouse and/or children. One year, my friend and her family decided they were going to focus on "being generous." That was their focus word for the year. So they set aside a part of their earnings each month and looked for people that God wanted them to provide for.

Note: if you need further help on how to do this check out a simple book called One Word. It teaches how just one word can impact you. 

3. Enjoy the New Year!

The best part about the New Year is that is a chance to restart, refresh and realign. 

Taking time to examine your life can be an exciting thing, especially if you walk into the new season with a renewed sense of purpose from the Lord. God is at work in you, my friends!

"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:10, ESV).

The Lord has work for you to do—exciting work, faith-building work, challenging work, difficult work.

Will you make a goal to remember Him as He worked in 2016, and join in asking Him to guide you purposefully in 2017?

Nali Hilderman is a professor of American history at San Diego Christian College and Director of the college’s Dr. Henry Morris Leadership Program. She studies women’s history and Christian theology, trying to make sense of how to be a confident, successful Christian woman who does not buy into the secular feminist mentality. She attends Journey Community Church in La Mesa, CA.

Give It Your All for Your Best Year Yet!

Pam Farrel, a mentor and friend, has always encouraged me to do my best, saying, “You make your choices, and your choices will make you.” In this New Year UPGRADE, she writes about giving life “your all”—in whatever God calls you to do.

“Give 100% effort,” Pam says. “You might not be 100% perfect, but give it your 100% all.”

This year, Pam and I (Dawn) have tried to give our health our best effort so we both can live longer and stronger for the Lord. I know firsthand the blessings of “giving it your all.”

Pam continues . . .

Two of my sons are athletic coaches. They often motivate the individuals on their teams with challenges like:

Do today what others are unwilling to do so tomorrow you can do what others are unable to do.

Simply put, Leave it all on the field. Be 100% present in your goals. Give your best effort—and encourage others to do the same.

I have a t-shirt by Union 28 that reminds me of 1 Corinthians 6:19: ”… your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit….” The shirt reads:

God created it

Jesus died for it

The Holy Spirit lives in it

So I must take care of it

Dawn and I have tried to be “iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17) to one another. The result has been a “sizable” weight loss for each of us. If our weight loss journey were a distance race (and it is—a new lifestyle for the long haul), we would be within the final stretch of reaching our goals. I help women navigate these kind of core, vital issues for living a focused and healthy life in my 7 Simple Skills book (see bio, below).

While co-authoring our book in 2012, LOL with God: Messages of Hope and Help for Women, Dawn shared how one of my favorite verses was easily broken into a common sense, simple, achievable outline of life priorities for a well-balanced, healthy person.

This was reflected in the answer Jesus gave to the religious leaders of his day:

“On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. ‘Teacher,’ he asked, ‘what must I do to inherit eternal life?’

‘What is written in the Law?’ he replied. ‘How do you read it?’

He [Jesus] answered, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind;’ and ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Luke 10:25–27, NIV).

“And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men” (Luke 2:52).

I have placed a descriptive sentence in parenthesis, phrase by phrase, to capture the full meaning of the Lord’s command:  

• Jesus increases in wisdom (He guarded his intellectual life)
• and stature (He guarded his physical life)
• and in favor with God (He guarded his spiritual life)
• and men (He guarded his social life)

When we dig into the original languages, we discover even more power to live a healthy life:

• Love the Lord, your God (Demonstrate your affection based on a close relationship with the Lord, the God who you have made your Supreme Master or Leader.)
• with all (It encompasses your whole, complete, entire self.)
• your heart (This is the psychological the inner self, your mind; that place of your will and volition that has thoughts, then makes decisions and choices.)
• your soul (This is your psyche that was God-breathed to make you uniquely you.)
• your strength (This is your total personal potential, capacity, capability, power, might, material and possession—with everything you are or have or could be.)
• and your mind (This includes all your ability to think, reason and learn.)
• Love your neighbor (someone who is a companion or simply someone who lives adjacent or nearby; anyone whose life intersects yours) like yourself. 

A heart-felt summary might read:

Show you are a friend to God by giving him your inner self—your entire “thinking, living, breathing, everything-you-are, everything-you-own, or could-possibly-be” self.

• Do you have talent? It’s God’s!
• Do you have a bank account? It’s God’s.
• Do you have physical strength, the ability to think, a heart that beats, any earthy possessions? It is all God’s!  

Simply put:

Love God with 100% of your will, your uniqueness, your capacity and your intellect. And love everyone God places in your life with that same kind of enthusiasm.

Show God your love, by loving the life He gave you with your best effort.

Which area of Luke 10:25-26 is God asking you to give your 100% effort in to make 2017 Your Best Year Yet?

Pam Farrel is the author of 45 books, an international speaker, and relationship expert who seeks to breathe life into people’s most vital relationships through the ministry she runs with her husband, Love-Wise. Today’s blog is adapted from her newest book, 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman: Success at Keeping It All Together. Pam and Bill have created a set of goal-setting worksheets to help you have YOUR BEST YEAR YET. (For weight loss, Pam used First Place 4 Health, a Christian, Bible-based wellness program).

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Geralt at Pixabay.

Back to the Future: Retreat to Plan the New Year

Kathy Carlton Willis is an encourager to the max! She knows how to motivate women to upgrade their lives. In this New Year’s UPGRADE, she suggests we all go on a “retreat.”

Kathy told me, “As a career coach I often hear the excuse, ‘I’m just too busy.’ I’m sorry, but I’m not buying it. Each person is given the same number of hours in the day.”

I (Dawn) do think there is a “too busy” level for all of us, but I’ve discovered better planning, delegating, and eliminating the non-essential and what God says “has to go” suddenly can free up a lot of time I didn’t know I had! So I am shouting a hearty “Amen” to Kathy’s words.

Kathy continues. . .

Sure, we all have different energy levels and abilities, but I’m positive we have exactly the resources we need to fulfill the purposes God has for each of us.

The next time you’re tempted to offer up the excuse, “I’m just too busy,” instead I challenge you to say what is the real reason: “It’s simply not a priority for me.”

We get to choose what is important in our lives.

One way I adjust my priorities is to have a yearly personal retreat, either at home or a remote location.

A familiar Psalm indicates what happens during a personal retreat.

“He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still and quiet waters. He  refreshes and restores my soul (life); He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake” (Psalm 23: 2-3 AMP).

Here are some pointers for your retreat:

1. Start and end with God.

Put your agenda aside. Focus on His strengths and skills. Fall in love with Him again. Be wowed by His power and wisdom. Worship Him, not for what He has done for you, but for who He is.

If you find your mind trailing off, use the alphabet to stay fixed on Him. Come up with a word that describes God from every letter in the alphabet.

2. Use a variety of worship techniques.

• Walk with Him in nature.
• Take photos of His creation.
• Sing along to praise music.
• Dance to the tune.
• Draw.
• Invent your own sign-language to symbolize the lyrics.
• Personalize Scripture.

3. Get filled up.

Surrender your life to God again. 100% God and 0% you.

Once you are filled up and yielded, then you are ready to proceed.

4. Evaluate the year just ending.

• What surprised you?
• What exceeded your goals?
• What derailed or disappointed you?
• What is still left undone?
• What desires and direction did God plant in you that indicates the New Year will look different?
• What was within your control to do that you procrastinated?
• What was not within your power that changed your plans?

Give the old year to God. Leave it behind without regrets as you move into the New Year.

Clean slate: either a second chance to get your current goals accomplished or brand new goals for a brand new year.

5. Ask God to show you His plans for your New Year.

Don’t merely ask Him to bless your agenda.

Be willing to follow God’s lead wherever it takes you—out of your comfort zone and into the faith-zone.

People ask my secret to getting so much done, and goal-setting is the root of my productivity. It’s not about success as the world sees it, or achievement. I’m focused on being and doing everything God has designed for my life.

Here’s a sample template for my goal-setting session. It varies depending on the year, so feel free to alter it to fit your needs.

• My spiritual growth goals for 2017 include:
• My mental/emotional growth goals for 2017 include:
• My physical goals for 2017 include:
• I will use my ability of ______ by doing:
• I will work on a relationship with:
• Finances will improve when:
• I will read ___ books.
• To be healthier, I will:
• I have a problem procrastinating. This year I will improve in the area of:

Fill out your goal worksheet, then sign it as an indication you will give 100% to God’s agenda.

Does God have a surprise for you in the New Year? Put on your eyes of faith so you can see it when it arrives.

Kathy Carlton Willis shines for God, reflecting His light as a speaker at writer's conferences and women's retreats, and as an author - contributing to three books and writing hundreds of columns and articles online and in print publications. She wrote Grin with Gracewith AMG Publishers and has several books releasing over the next few years. She and her husband Russ live in Texas with Jazzy, their hilarious Boston Terrier.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of depaulus, Pixabay

Making Peace with the Dishwasher Door

In this Attitudes UPGRADE, Rhonda Rhea reminds us we may not be in control of circumstances, but we are all in charge of our attitudes.

"Forget all those personality tests," Rhonda says. "Never mind the character studies. If you want insights into your own psyche, try the dishwasher."

Try the WHAT? Like I (Dawn) said, Rhonda is a pro at twisting everyday stuff into lessons for us all.

Rhonda continues . . .

The dishwasher is a handy-dandy machine that can reveal what you’re really made of.

All you have to do is follow these simple operating instructions: 

1. Leave dishwasher door open.
2. Unwittingly apply shin forcefully to side of the open door.
3. Repeat as needed.

There’s your temperament analysis.

A few years ago, there was a week or two when our dishwasher door wouldn’t stay closed. By the end of that time, I’m pretty sure I had taken a lot more personality tests than one personality can reasonably handle. Also more than one person’s shins can reasonably handle. My legs looked like a couple of old bananas.

Are those leopard print leggings?

No. No, they aren’t. … I wasn’t wearing leggings.

I’m not sure why I didn’t get better at maneuvering around that thing. Or even remembering that it was there.

Why didn’t I just learn to hurdle? I should’ve been Olympic-event-ready after the first few days.

It was, in fact, a strong leg survival instinct that inspired us to get the door fixed. And in the couple of weeks before it was fixed, there’s a good chance my family may have seen a little more of my “personality” than they wanted.

We often find out what we’re made of when we run into difficulties. Maybe even more so when we run into those difficulties really hard.

How do we respond when we hit a surprise painful situation?

• Anger?
• Bitterness?
• Self-pity?
• Thinking life is unfair?
• Thinking God is unfair?

How we respond directly relates to the peace we will—or won’t—experience in a painful situation.

It’s not so much a personality thing. It’s instead about what we let happen by our own choices.

In Colossians 3:15 Paul says, “And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, control your hearts” (HCSB).

There’s an important “let” in his instruction. We need to “let” His peace rule.

Sometimes we let personality—or some other aspect of ourselves—control our hearts. There are times when we focus on difficulty or injustice and end up letting bitterness rule. Or negativity. Or defeat and self-absorption. Sometimes we just plain surrender to sin and let it rule.

All those fleshly things certainly will control our hearts if we let them. They want that control.

Our flesh has a strong survival instinct.

The Greek word translated “control” in this passage is a word that means to be a referee or director—like one who presides over an Olympic game. The indwelling presence of our Messiah and the peace that He gives will referee our every internal battle. And peace wins the day at every point we will “let.”

Is there anything else you’re letting control your heart? Let His peace control instead. That’s the way to hurdle over any difficulty and win. Not just an Olympic win. A life win.

It’s at our humble surrender to His peace that we’re able to be fruitful, joy-filled, thankful—successfully passing every test. Even a personality test.

Yes, even the dishwasher-door-to-the-shin personality test.

What is your "test" this week? Will you let God's peace control?

Rhonda Rhea is a humor columnist, radio personality, speaker and author of 10 books, including How Many Lightbulbs Does It Take to Change a Person?, Espresso Your Faith - 30 Shots of God's Word to Wake You Up, and a book designed to encourage Pastor's Wives (P-Dubs): Join the Insanity. Rhonda, a sunny pastor's wife, lives near St. Louis and is "Mom" to five grown children. Find out more at www.RhondaRhea.com.

Graphic, courtesy of HomeBuildingLessons.com.