How to Spread a 'Sweet Aroma'

Mary James communicates messages from the heart in her music and her writing, and in this Spiritual Life UPGRADE she invites us to think about the “scent” of our lives.

“We absorb what we are exposed to, in ways that we cannot always see,” Mary said. “For a Christ follower, the value of others’ influence should never be taken for granted—especially while the world around them is continually sending out the message, ‘anything goes.’”  

I (Dawn) am influenced by so many people and things in our culture, as are you. Sometimes we aren’t even aware of their input. Maybe it’s time we pause to think: What or who does my life, my behavior, my attitudes, reflect?

Mary continues . . .

“What is that smell?” I asked was we picked up our six-year old Pekingese from Grandma’s house recently.

Because the odor resembled burning rubber, my dear mother replied, “Maybe there was an issue with the vacuum belt. It has given us trouble before.” 

Uh, no. Isaiah had in-fact had one of those infamous “skunk encounters.” 

Fortunately, it was not a direct hit, so my husband and I were able to tolerate the aroma for the duration of our 75-minute drive home. Well, almost. 

With windows rolled down and a lengthy debate over how our furry child could have possible been hit, we stopped at the grocery story to pick up a few needed items: Dawn dishwashing soap and tomato juice.

As I checked out, the clerks began commenting on a strange odor.

The first said, “Something smells like burning rubber.”

The second quickly chimed in, “It smells like skunk to me!” 

My stomach sank, but I had to laugh and then tell them our dog had just been sprayed.

I was completely unaware his aroma had rubbed off on me.

A few days later, the music of one of my favorite artists kept playing in my head. I finally dug out the CDs and listened once more to her incredible gift. She is one of the most artistic and thought-provoking singer-songwriters I have ever heard; yet the more I listened, the more sad and uneasy I became.   

With 100 items on my “to do” list, I stayed busy as the music played. But once I slowed down and focused on her words, I understood what was impacting my mood.

The lyrics were without hope and held a distorted worldview when it came to Jesus.

If there were references to God or Christ, they came as doubt-filled, rebellious undertones, or words of blatant discontent with God. 

Despite my spiritual maturity, her attitude had subtly rubbed-off on me to the point where my joy was drowned out by her faithless lyrics and sorrow-filled melodies.  

Why did I even open that can of worms? Good question. I had enjoyed her music for so long, I thought it would be harmless to listen again. Harmless. 

These two experiences are a valuable reminder of guarding the heart.

We absorb what we are exposed to in ways we cannot always see.  Who and what we hang around matters. 

No wonder Jesus (Mark 9:42-50) and Paul (Romans 14:13-23) warned us not to do anything that will cause another person to stumble. If you grumble enough, gossip enough, overeat, drink, smoke or cuss around those you are in relationship with, your “aroma” can subtly become theirs (or vice versa).   

For a Christ follower, the value of others’ influence should never be taken for granted, especially while the world around them is continually sending out the message, “anything goes.”   

I admit, this seems like a daunting charge, but all who understand God’s grace know that it is by His Spirit their steps are guided. 

God also created this amazing thing called “fellowship” where Christians can act as iron (or sharpeners) in each other’s lives. If someone has a bad attitude, speaking God’s truth over each other’s skunk-ed-ness, praying, lovingly suggesting a “spiritual shower” or simply turning off bad music can truly be medicine for the heart. 

This amazing transformative stuff that happens on the inside is what shows up on the outside, causing us to be pleasing aromas to God and those around us. Just think how anger on the inside shows up on the outside, or how discontentment on the inside shows up in your shopping cart. 

I don’t know about you, but when I leave a room I certainly want the smell that lingers—the words that I deposit into hearts and minds—to be sweet; words that strengthen hearts, not weaken them.  

Let’s always remember and respond to life with this truth in mind: “For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing” (2 Corinthians 2:15).

Has the smell of something not so pleasant rubbed off on you? Is there any music playing in your life that needs to be turned off?

Mary James, living out the charge found in 1 Peter 2:9 that we are “Saved to proclaim the excellence of Him who called us out of darkness into His marvelous light,” uses  music and transparent, biblically-centered messages to tear down walls and point people to Jesus. Since entering ministry in 2000, Mary has released five full-length CDs and shared the platform with Dr. David Jeremiah, Kay Arthur, Sheila Walsh, Greg Laurie, Bob Goff, Kirk Cameron and many others. She is a three-time Inspirational Country Music Female Vocalist of the Year Award winner and two-time ICM Music Evangelist of the Year Nominee.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of fotographic1980 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Does Your Worldview 'Work'?

At one point in my walk with God, I (Dawn) found my worldview wanting. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, I want to invite you to take a moment to examine your own worldview.

"Christianity is like a flashlight," Andy Bannister said. "People judge a worldview by how well it lights things up. And by how well it works."

Andy Bannister is Canadian Director of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries and the author of The Atheist Who Didn't Exist, a book that dissects some of the popular arguments advanced by "media-savy atheists."

Few would question the first part of his quote. We are, after all, told to be lights in the world in order to bring glory to our heavenly Father (Matthew 5:14-16).

But Andy also stressed the importance of a worldview that holds up under scrutiny. I've been increasingly concerned that many Christians today don't have a worldview that "works."

What I mean by that is, when the world watches us, do people see us content in our confidence in the Lord, or constantly struggling to believe.

(If we're struggling, we likely have misplaced trust.)

What I mean by that is, do people see us compartmentalizing our faith or enjoying a worldview that satisfies all of our life—we find our emotional, mental, physical, spiritual needs met in Christ.

(If not, what have we substituted for Him who is our life?)

What I mean by that is, do we have a worldview that "delivers on its promises."

 (If our worldview doesn't deliver, it's not God's fault.)

Our youth, in particular, are casting off the "religion" of their parents because they don't see its relevance for today.

Parents, many of our kids have grown up seeing a worldview that doesn't work. Or at least, they didn't understand how it works because we have muddied the truth.

A Christian worldview is more than transferable concepts and a neatly packaged Christian philosophy. 

A Christian worldview should accurately reflect who Christ is and who we are in Him. 

Del Tackett defined Christian Worldview in these terms for Focus on the Family:

"A worldview is the framework from which we view reality and make sense of life and the world." And "A biblical worldview is based on the infallible Word of God."

Perhaps biblical worldview is a better term than Christian worldview, because there are so many in Christianity today who are diluting and redefining biblical truth. These non-biblical ideas come from various "voices" in the culture (film, books, etc.) and often get incorporated into our worldviews. Maybe we aren't even conscious of the changes in the way we're thinking and believing. 

There are many options for worldviews in our world (Marxism, Pagan Mysticism, Islam, Scientology, etc.), but Christians must have a truly biblical worldview if they want to lead their children into God's transforming truth (Romans 12:2).

It matters, too, if we want people to see the difference God's Word makes in our lives.

We can say, "I'm a Christian, so I have a Christian worldview"—and be totally deceived. 

But an authentic, born-again believer walking with God in a biblical worldview will spread a fragrance of life in the world! (2 Corinthians 2:14-16)

So we need to ask ourselves two questions:

1. Is my belief system founded and grounded in the Bible—the Word of God?

Or is it simply my personal interpretation of reality?

2. Does my worldview "work"?

Does it hold up in today's culture because it is God-inspired timeless truth that gives me stability and strength—no matter my circumstances?

Jesus, the Son of God and the Living Word, says He is the truth (John 1:1, 14; 14:6). We need to be sure our worldview reflects Him in every way.

Would your neighbors say your worldview "works"? Is it a truly biblical worldview? Do you need to UPGRADE your worldview?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God(with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the Director of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in MInistry (NEWIM San Diego). She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, Åse Bjøntegård Oftedal, Stocknapio.

When Comments about Your Health 'Sting'

Lisa Copen, founder of Rest Ministries, knows a lot about suffering with health issues. Unfortunately, she also knows about insensitive comments. Here is her story in an encouraging Health and Relationships UPGRADE.

“We may find ourselves surprised to discover just how much we are the on the minds of loved ones who are around us,” Lisa says, “They may actually be concerned about us more than we admit in regard to our illness. So when they comment about our illness in a way that stings we are left wondering about their intentions.”

I (Dawn) have been there. I was ill with an "invisible" condition, and a friend's insensitive comment left me depressed. Has that ever happened to you? How should we respond?

Lisa continues . . .

We can try our hardest to not let the hurt feelings we experience bother us. And we can acknowledge their heart’s concern.

There are moments the “wounds from a friend can be trusted” (Proverbs 27:6). Perhaps the people we are counting on to be understanding are struggling to communicate their concern; and their comments might be interpreted all wrong.

It was 1993 when I received a diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis. My life changed rapidly. Some people at church and work felt no reluctance in telling me their thoughts about my doctor’s diagnosis–which was: I was not old enough to have this in their ‘expert’ opinion.

As a 24-year-old young woman, living over a thousand miles away from the place I grew up, the decisions I was forced into making about treatment choices felt serious and overwhelming. I meticulously poured through brochures and paperwork researching medications, therapies and alternative treatments.

I went out of my way to see specialized doctors and compared different drugs and their side effects, with the long-term result of choosing not to use certain medication.

The mixed-up advice from people who had never even heard of my chronic condition felt like a personal attack on my level of common sense. My emotional side thought, “The nerve!’

I must admit, of those who casually shared insensitive statements, it was those who questioned the genuineness of my faith that hurt the most.

Have you experienced what Proverbs 18:2 says about a friend who “finds no pleasure in understanding, but delights in airing his own opinions”?

I researched the inspiring autobiographies of Christians who endured physically suffering: Joni Eareckson Tada and Dave Dravecky. They faced the same sort of comments and insults I did.

If strangers these heroes in the ministry of suffering didn’t have enough faith to be totally healed, what made me believe I was exempt?

I’ve also heard some rather derogatory comments, and it’s always a struggle to simply smile and say, “I appreciate your concern, but I don’t necessarily agree.”

Sometimes people want me to have a ministry for those who are already healed or a ministry that tries to “get people healed.” They expect me to use a certain formula they think God uses.

Personally, I just don’t have a passion for a ministry that focuses solely on healing. Many of those already are available. I would be thrilled to wake up tomorrow and find I was healed, but God has called me to a ministry where people are still sick today. I want to meet each individual wherever they are before they have experienced a healing. I want to be part of the ministry that stands by them if healing doesn’t comes this side of heaven.

Through the organization I began in 1996, Rest Ministries—for the chronically ill—I have ministered to many audiences, including pastors and chaplains, as well as those coping with invisible disabilities. But I am still vulnerable to being told, “If you had more faith, you would get healed.”

Frequently, people glance over the table of our resources and books and then say, “This is wonderful, but you should try ‘fill-in-the-blank-alternative-treatment-here,’ and then you would be healed. And then that could be your more helpful ministry!”

In some strange way, though I still to get upset with the limitations and degeneration of my disease, I am just beginning to understand 1 Peter 4:13. It speaks of considering it “pure joy to suffer" for Christ.

And I am not alone in this regard. Many people with chronic visible and invisible disabilities confess that, though they are not especially “joyful” about their circumstances, they have discovered life is more meaningful—even though bittersweet—due to the suffering they have experienced.

Yes. . . I hate pain! And I get tired of it. God does give us grace and endurance to get through another 24 hours. God provided the Israelites manna so they could live one more day, solely depending on Him (Exodus 16). I confess, like the Israelites, I have moments I want to complain, “L-o-o-r-d, I’m tired of the manna!”

As we grow closer to God, the remarks people say will become much less important. They will slide off much easier than we’d ever imagine.

Although there are days it feels like people are purposely trying to say things that will bring us emotional pain, most often they won’t realize the pain they cause.

Grow close to the Father and your faith in man will decrease. You can get past your need for friends to empathize, and your emotions will not be so filled with pain.

Does it feel like no one understands what you are going through? How can leaning into God help you respond in a way that pleases Him? (Check out my book Why Can't I Make People Understand for added insight.)

Lisa Copen began Rest Ministries toencourage those who are chronically ill through daily devotionals, small groups called HopeKeepers, and other support. She is the author of a variety of books including Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend, Why Can't I Make People Understand, and She has lived with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia for twenty years and resides in San Diego with her husband and son.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

The Lonely Leather-Bound Book

Dawn Wilson wrote the original version of this back in 1983, but I find it is just as relevant—maybe more so—today. In this adapted Spiritual Life UPGRADE, which is a bit of a departure from our normal posts, let's think about our relationship to the "lonely leather-bound book."

“Oh, boy … it’s only 11 weeks until Christmas! I love Christmas. I seem so much more important then.”

The leather-bound book sighed. He remembered happier days when his owner spent hours reading and focusing on God’s timeless words.

“I don’t get used nearly enough these days. Years ago, when my owner asked Jesus to be her Lord and Savior, I was used every day—picked up from my special spot, opened with tender, loving hands, and read at least an hour. She just couldn’t get enough of me! (Psalm 1:2; 1 Peter 2:2)

But that was then.

I’ve been resting here undisturbed for a couple of months now, but Christmas is coming and I hope my owner will at least read the Christmas story. She used to pull me out all the time when her sons were small. She told her husband it was important to teach the boys about Jesus. And she seemed to have a hunger for the truth in my pages. (Matthew 4:4; Psalm 119:103; Job 23:12)

But last Christmas she didn’t open me at all. She was too preoccupied with parties and shopping.

And then, after Christmas, she made a lot of New Year’s resolutions about reading me regularly and maybe even taking me to a Bible study, but I guess her resolutions were empty promises. Again.

Oh, I know she’s been terribly busy. There’s the scrapbooking class and trips to the mall, and she’s especially fond of that spa.

She reads several books each month that talk about me. It’s not the same, though. I’m the real deal.

I do get dusted off occasionally, along with the coffee table and candy dish. She feels she needs to make a good impression for company. Anyone who knows my owner knows she’s very concerned about appearances, and I’m such a ‘spiritual’ decoration.

Please understand. It’s not that I don’t get picked up. I get carried to church every Sunday—though heaven only knows why. My owner doesn’t bother to look up the verses when the Pastor preaches. I’m just good ‘for looks,’ I guess.

And I suppose in a few years I’ll be replaced by a newer, snazzier model. I hope it will get used more than I have, but I doubt it.

She’s already got six translations, a big print version, and two devotional Bibles on her bookshelves.

Last month was a thrilling time for me, though. My owner had a lousy time with her kids, and she got so upset she sent them to bed early. Frustrated, she plopped down on the couch for a good cry. I was there on the coffee table—ready, as usual. She stared at me for a long time through her tears, then reached out and picked me up.

I was so excited!

She thumbed impatiently through my pages, wishing I’d fall open to a good answer or a quick promise … something, anything that would speak to her heart.

How I wish she’d get familiar with me before these moments of crisis arrive.

She did seem somewhat encouraged as she lingered in the psalms, though, and I was glad to help. One of her boys got out of bed to visit the bathroom, and he seemed surprised to see my owner reading me. No, shocked would be a better word.

Most of the time, I remain here forgotten, or at least, neglected. Once in a while she gives me a guilty glance. Oh, how I laughed at her expression when the Women’s Ministries director stopped by last week. She glanced over her shoulder at me, shocked to hear me screaming. (Actually, it was her conscience doing all the screaming.)

She’s been in denial about me for so long she can’t recognize her desperate need.

She forgets I bear witness to the One who gives life—not just eternal life, but the daily life her heart craves. I could show her God's wonders and help her understand His ways. I could teach and equip her to serve the Lord. Most of all, my words could make her more like Jesus! (John 5:39-40; Psalm 119:18, 130; 2 Timothy 3:16-17; John 17:17)

Sometimes I feel like extra baggage, especially on vacations. I can’t believe how much I traveled last summer. I was in seven states, but she didn't use me once.

Once she even took me on a cruise. I didn’t see much, though, except the inside of my owner’s suitcase. Her priorities were clear. She pulled everything else out several times, but I can’t see why I even went along. I just took up space.

The house is pretty chilly today, but I feel hot and stuffy. It’s hard to breathe when I’m covered up with magazines and all those catalogs. I can just barely peek out.

Sometimes I get lonesome and wish for the ‘good old days’ when my owner loved me more than anything, even food. (Jeremiah 15:16)

I was alive and powerful in her life—a real eye-opener, motivator, wise counselor and friend. I brought her peace and joy. I showed her how to make God smile.

Oh… she’s coming!

Hey, I’m over here—over here!”

Do you have a "lonely Bible" too? Could you schedule some regular visits?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the Director of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in MInistry (NEWIM San Diego). Dawn and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

This post was adapted from an article I wrote for Spirit of Revival magazine, a publication of Life Action Ministries, in 1983. Used with permission. 

Admit Your Mistakes!

Yvonne Ortega has rested in Christ to overcome the challenges and heartaches in her life, and she is truly a beautiful soul. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, Yvonne shares one princple that can help us exchange our shattered dreams for the promises of God and watch Him heal the broken places in our lives.

Yvonne writes, "After the legal separation I told our son, 'You paid the price for my mistake. I’m the adult and your mother. As a parent, I should have protected you and never have allowed you to go through all that you did. I was wrong to pretend everything was okay.'”

I (Dawn) believe this kind of admission takes courage, but it is rooted in love for God and others. Yvonne "owned up" to her mistake in a God-honoring way.

She continues . . .

Perhaps you wonder how I managed to admit my mistakes to my son.

Here are four tips I learned about the admission of big mistakes.

1. I realized the admission of mistakes requires PREPARATION.

My preparation included journaling, prayer, Bible study, individual counseling, and my recovery group.

I leaned on the promises of three Bible verses and reviewed them frequently. One verse was 1 John 1:9:

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (NIV).

What will you do to prepare?

2. I had to admit my mistakes WITHOUT making EXCUSES for them.  

That type of admission requires honesty and humility. I had to take responsibility for my mistakes without any excuses, justification, defensiveness or blame. That way my child could believe I was sorry and trust me to protect him.

Why is it hard for you to admit your mistakes without making excuses for them? If the person you hurt has passed away, you can write a letter of admission and domeapologize. Then read it to a friend, mentor, or counselor.

Take ownership of your mistakes so they lose their power over you.

3. My admission of mistakes could either be ACCEPTED or REJECTED.

The longer I stayed in a domestic violence environment, the worse it became for my son. I had failed him. He suffered from the lack of peace and safety in the home. He could either accept or reject my admission of wrongdoing and my apology.

My heavenly Father gave me the courage to admit my mistakes by reminding me of Proverbs 28:13:

“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy" (NIV).

Your admission of mistakes may have nothing to do with domestic violence or hurting your child. It may involve:

• a strained relationship with a coworker,
• conflict with your in-laws,
• or a misunderstanding with a partner in ministry.

Whether your admission is accepted or rejected, the Lord will keep His Word.

4. I needed to make AMENDS to the best of my ability.

Life wasn’t perfect after my admission. However, it improved, little-by-little, as I worked to be the adult and parent my child needed and deserved.

Years later, he called and said, “You were a good mom.”

I cried for joy when I heard those words. The amends paid off.

I did my part, and God did His. I received the mercy the Lord promised in Proverbs 28:13.

When will you make amends? It’s worth the effort. 

Yvonne Ortega is a licensed professional counselor, a bilingual professional speaker, and the author of Moving from Broken to Beautiful: 9 Life Lessons to Help You Move Forward,  and Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer. She has not only survived but also thrived after domestic violence, breast cancer and the loss of her only child. With honesty and humor, Yvonne uses personal examples and the truths of the Bible to help women move from broken to beautiful. Visit Yvonne’s website for more information.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.